EMILY

Elliot’s eyes never strayed from my face; it was as if he were trying to reach inside my soul to see what was there. I watched him too, trying to read his feeling for me. Did he trust me? Could he ever love me again? A million thoughts were running through my head and had been for the last twenty-four hours.

“Emily … are you really here, sitting next to me after all these years? I can’t believe it.”

He voiced out loud the very question I’d been thinking throughout the day: is he really here in front of me after all this time? I knew he was, I could reach out and run my fingers over his skin. I could touch him and feel the warmth. I could taste the saltiness of his skin if I so chose.

What I didn’t want to think about was the fact I was only here for a week. And then what would happen? Did we each go our separate ways again? Break my heart again? Did we try to go back and forth? I couldn’t see how it would work. My thoughts were jumping too far ahead and I needed to stop. I had to find a way to just sit back and enjoy this moment; otherwise, I would destroy this before it even began. I needed to find a way to let go of the control.

I forced myself back to the here and now as the waitress set our food in front of us. Elliot refilled our wine and lifted his glass as he handed mine to me. Touching the rims together with a soft chime that only fine crystal can sing, he whispered a wish in the form of a toast.

“To a new beginning. Maybe this time we can go slow and make it work.”

Later, as Elliot held the door open for me, I stepped back outside into the bright sun, pulling out my sunglasses while he waited for me. Lacing his fingers through mine, we walked toward to water.

The beach was still alive with people playing in the surf and walking about. I glanced up toward the beach house to see if Andrea was back yet, but I saw no signs of life.

Elliot took my arm as we made our way over the rocks on the path leading down. When we reached the shoreline, I kicked off my sandals and waded in the water, watching it lap over my feet. He pointed out his house, overlooking the north end of the cove. It was rustic in appearance from the outside. A deck spanned the side facing the water, disappearing around the corner to the north side and the mountains. I could see chairs scattered about, much like I had on my back patio in Phoenix. Brightly colored flowers were visible here and there and some tall potted palm trees. It looked calm and inviting up there in his own little castle.

“We can go up there after a while if you want to see what I’ve done with the place. If you want to,” he said with a bit of apprehension.

“I would love that.”

Heading down the beach, he turned the subject back to us. Stopping and starting several times he finally laughed.

“I’m nervous all of a sudden and I don’t really know why.”

“I am too,” I admitted.

The awkwardness of our stumbling conversation had us both doubling over in giggles. Here was a man I had been intimate with. A man who, at one time, knew more about me than anyone else. Now we were trying to step carefully around what needed to be talked about as if we were strangers.

“Okay, Elliot, I’m going to ask first. Is there anyone else in your life? I mean … I guess if you are involved with someone, I don’t want to step on any toes.”

I held my breath as I waited for his answer.

“No, there is no one else. God! I haven’t been able to become seriously involved with anyone since the day I left you. That’s not to say I haven’t tried, but it just never seems to work out.”

With a loud whoosh, I let out the breath I didn’t realize I had been holding until just now. Relief filled me, making me relax a little bit more.

“How about you, Em? Are you seeing anyone?”

“No, I was dating a lot a few years ago, but as I mentioned before, it’s been over a year since I’ve gone out with anyone. I really suck at relationships.”

“Maybe because they weren’t me.” He pointed out quietly.

Taking the hand his fingers were entwined with, he raised it to his lips and kissed me, looking into my eyes with such intensity, I began to squirm. My emotions were moving faster than my mind could work. I couldn’t think straight around this man.

“I still love you, Emily, just as much as I did seven years ago, maybe even more. I’ve grown and I’ve experienced a lot during the time we’ve been apart. But I also know what I want more than I ever did before. I won’t rush you. I’ve learned how to be patient, really, really patient.” He grinned at me.

“But … I want nothing more than to pick you up, throw you over my shoulder, caveman style, and carry you back to my house to spend the next few hours making love to you in every possible way I can dream of.”

I was breathless.

I was exhilarated.

And I was scared to death.

Scared because I still loved him too, and I wanted everything he wanted, even more so. But I was afraid I would screw it up … again.

“I still love you too, Elliot. But—”

“No buts,” he interrupted me. “We can make it work if we really want it to. Let’s just take our time. Start over from the beginning.”

He turned his back to me, running his hands over his face and through his hair. Then turning back to face me with a grin, he took my hand.

“Hi, I’m Elliot. Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?”

He made me blush, from the bottom of my toes all the way to the top of my head. He made me tingle and lightheaded and he made my blood run steaming hot.

Grabbing my waist, he swung me around on the sand and then he pulled me close. So close I could feel every inch of his muscular body against mine.

His lips met mine, softly at first, playful, then more demanding, more urgent as his desire increased. He inflamed my need for him with those lips and his tongue, his hands … I could feel myself sinking, wanting him more and more as the kiss grew and his hands stroked their way over my skin, making it burn.

He broke away from me suddenly and ran his fingers through his hair, pulling it back from his face, a habit I remember fondly, signaling frustration. Elliot was losing control.

“I need to walk you back to your place or I’m going to forget what I said and take you back to mine. I meant what I said about moving slow, Emily. I want this more than anything in life, but I want you forever, not just one night or a single week. I’m not going to fuck this up just because I’m ready to start making love to you on this very public stretch of beach. ”

Before I could say anything at all, he guided me back up to the street. The sun was starting to dip beneath the horizon to the west, darkening the skies.

To say I was a bit shocked and a little more than disappointed was an understatement. I wanted him. I wanted his arms around me and his lips on my body all night long. I wanted to feel him inside of me, every single inch of him. I wanted our bodies drenched in sweat because we didn’t ever want to stop. I was going out of my mind wanting this man.

As we approached the door, he took me in his arms again. Touching his lips to mine, he spoke softly into my ear as he nibbled down my neck.

“Never doubt for a moment that I want you. I want all of you. But more than anything I want you to be sure. Because once I make love to you, there is no going back … ever.”

I had no choice but to comply. He was right, we needed to move slowly, not just jump back into bed together. I needed to be sure of myself.

He kissed me goodnight and waited until I stepped inside and closed the door. I ran up the stairs and out onto the deck to wave goodbye, but he was already halfway down the block. Turning back once, he blew me a kiss.

Tomorrow, he mouthed to me and smiled. Turning away, Elliot headed back into the fading sunlight.

It was only thirty minutes later that I heard Andrea come through the door. I was sitting on the balcony sipping a glass of wine, another glass sitting on the table waiting for her this time, when she walked outside and sat down.

“How did it go today?” I asked her.

“Great. I think it went well, but more importantly, how was your day?” Her eyes twinkled. “And don’t leave out any details.”