EMILY

Every morning, Elliot was outside the front door waiting for me when I woke up. I rushed to the balcony and there he was: coffee in hand, gazing out at the ocean. We walked the beach, talking, laughing, and holding hands.

I was getting to know him all over again. It was the same and yet different, if that made any sense. I was learning a part of him I never took the time to understand before this.

And I was trying to be completely open with Elliot, and I was letting the walls come down that I’d hidden behind most of my life. If he didn’t like who and what I’d become, it wasn’t my problem. I wanted him to love the real me, to desire the woman I was growing into, not the child I once was.

We would grab breakfast and head over to the workshop following our walk on the beach. Afterwards, we would find a spot for dinner and discuss writing and how to expand the ideas I had. And we talked about us.

Wednesday night, Andrea joined us for dinner at a seafood restaurant right by the water. I loved watching her get to know my Elliot. We cracked open crabs and drank wine until well after the sun set. Every time she glanced at me she gave me the thumbs up or raised her glass in a silent toast with a grin. She definitely approved of my choice this time.

The only thing driving me crazy was Elliot sticking to his no sex decision. He was a gentleman all the time and I wanted more. I craved him more every minute I spent with him. I was beginning to feel like a child, the candy in plain view but just out of my reach. It was starting to make me crabby and a crabby Emily wasn’t much fun to play with.

There was plenty of kissing, hugging, and hand holding, teasing me to the very brink, but he always withdrew and went home. I had no idea how he was managing it. Every time he looked at me, my body started to tingle. I wanted to wrap my whole self around him, jump up, circling his waist with my mile-long legs, bury my face into his neck and just breathe, never letting go. I was going nuts! And we were leaving on Sunday!

I didn’t know what the hell to do but I needed to do something and soon.

Elliot could spend hours touching me with his fingers, his lips, his tongue … my lips felt permanently swollen, they had been kissed so much the last four days. The things that man could do with his tongue … he had licked every part of my body accessible with my clothing still on. I was preparing a salad for dinner back at my borrowed beach house and he snuck up behind me. Lifting my hair away from my neck, he proceeded to lick me from my hairline to just below my shoulder blades, slowly tracing his tongue downward, never lifting it from my skin. It was so damn erotic that I broke out in shivers. I could feel the heat building between my legs and racing throughout my body. By the time I could turn around, he was backing away from me, smiling.

Today was the last day of the workshop. One more day to listen to Elliot. To sit and watch his every move and absorb everything I could possibly learn about writing … and of him.

Awakening earlier than usual this morning, I made an effort with my hair and a touch of makeup. The first part of the week I kept it pretty casual as far as my appearance went, but I decided since the week was almost over, I would make sure he noticed everything about me, every single detail. I wanted to be ravished!

I met him outside as he came strolling up the street. Greeting me with a hug, he took my hand and we headed toward the cove to sit on the rocks by the water. I could get so used to this, walking along the ocean every day, the relaxed atmosphere of this quaint little beach town, Elliot…

He was quiet this morning, almost pensive as he looked out at the water. The weight of his thoughts seemed to burden him.

There was more wind today, so the waves were touched with white frothy caps on the top of them as they rolled in, crashing against the shoreline with a loud splash and spraying saltwater far up onto the beach.

“I’m not ready for you to leave yet,” he spoke softly, almost a whisper.

“I’m not ready to go,” I answered.

We both sat there, holding hands. It had been less than a week of togetherness, yet it was so different. I felt like this was where I belonged.

Years ago, we would have been tearing each other’s clothes off every chance we had, devouring each other. Seven years ago we were riding a roller coaster … the passion, the emotions, and the uncertainties of our feelings.

This week, it was calmer, more peaceful. The need and desire was there, absolutely, but as much as I hated to admit it, the waiting and the anticipation was nice, too. I was content to spend the time with him.

Elliot broke into my thoughts.

“This week has been really nice…”

I held my breath wondering if there would be a but. I knew he was watching me as he spoke because he read my mind.

“No buts. I have no regrets about spending this time with you at all. It just confirms what I have been feeling, all this time, is real.”

Gently touching my jaw, he turned my face to him so I had to look into his eyes.

I could get so lost in those eyes.

“I mean this, Emily. I want to be with you. I want to wake up with you next to me every morning for the rest of my life. There is no doubt in my mind. And I am willing to wait until you know you want the same thing with me.”

I really didn’t have to think about it. Elliot was the only man I wanted. Every mistake I made in the past was a part of my journey back to him. They were lessons I needed to learn and a road map to figure out who I was, because until I knew me, I could never really understand him.

I turned my whole body to face him. Reaching my hand out, I ran my palm across his cheek, one finger tracing his jawline.

“I know what my heart wants, and I know I love you, only you. I have spent a long time trying to figure myself out, healing the broken inside of me. It’s an ongoing process, but I’m working on it. I want to be with you more than anything else in the world. Logistically how will it work? I mean I’m there and you’re here. I love it here, but I’m afraid I would miss there … does this make any sense to you? Because thinking about all of it, trying to figure it out, is muddling my head.”

I wanted to be able to say to hell with everything. Just grab Lucky, pack up everything I owned and move here, follow my heart, but real life required planning and then there was my stalker issue to deal with, too. I hadn’t told Elliot about him yet. It was all so ugly and sordid. I didn’t want anything ugly to infect my time with him this week. This week had been beautiful.

Elliot laughed, not at me but to me.

“We don’t have to figure it all out right now. It will all sort itself out the way it’s supposed to. In time we will both know where we should be. We can keep both places and go back and forth. We’re still getting our footing here. What’s more important to me is that you want the same thing I do, for us to make this work no matter what. We have time.”

I wanted this to work. We’d been given another chance and I didn’t want to screw it up this time.

Andrea and I talked about it a lot this week. She kept telling me to relax and go with it, to have patience and the faith everything would work out the way it was supposed to. There’s the patience thing again. I really did suck at that.

“Did you ever mention the whole stalker thing going on back home?” she had asked me the previous night.

“No,” I admitted. “I know I need to. I just want to forget that part of my life even exists right now. Maybe when we go back, whoever it is will have moved on.”

“That would be nice for you, but what about the next woman he terrorizes? They need to catch the guy, Emily, and you have to be careful. He may have already killed one guy you were involved with. You need to warn Elliot to be careful.”

She was right, and I knew that, but I still wanted to deny it was happening. I wasn’t sure how to explain it all to Elliot.

Hey, by the way, some nut job that I may or may not have slept with, but I really don’t remember, is stalking me and killing other men that I’ve gone out with … at least that’s what the police are thinking at the moment. It would make any sane man run for another continent, plus it made me look like a total slut.

In truth, I was afraid to tell Elliot about it. I still didn’t completely trust he was in my life for good.