chapter
19
I stood at the counter and looked from one end to the other. I had no idea what was the difference between any of these pieces of metal, and it didn’t matter to me what kind of gun I got as long as it fired a bullet that could end my misery. That would make the gun perfectly fine with me.
“May I help you?” the man working behind the counter said.
I shifted uneasily. I don’t know why I was nervous. Probably because I had never owned a gun in my life. Though I was born and raised in Texas, and came from a family of hunters, I’d never been interested in guns.
“Yeah, ah, wh-what do I need to do to get a gun?” I stammered.
“Is it for protection or sport?” he asked. “That’ll determine what type of gun will be best.”
“It’s to shoot,” I replied. I leaned over and tapped the glass, pointing to a small chrome handgun with a black handle. “Matter of fact, just give me that one.”
He began unlocking the cabinet. “That one is perfect,” he said. “It’s one of our bestsellers. It’s a Smith & Wesson SW22 Victory. It’s a solid weapon, but it’s also engineered for superb accuracy and ease of use.”
I wanted to tell him to spare me the sales pitch and just give me the gun.
He laid the weapon on the counter. “And you’re in luck because this one is on sale, too.”
“I’ll take it,” I said, without even touching it.
“Don’t you want to get a feel for it?” he asked.
My expression must’ve been my answer, because he said, “Well, fine.” He slid a paper toward me. “I just need you to fill out a firearms transaction form. And unfortunately, you won’t be able to pick it up till Monday because the computer that we use to check backgrounds is down and the office is closed on Saturdays, so I can’t do a manual check.”
“Monday?”
“Yeah, usually it’s instant, but this is the bad side to technology.” He had the nerve to laugh.
“I can’t wait till Monday!”
The man raised an eyebrow at me. “Well, Texas law requires that I do a background check on you. You can’t get a gun until I’ve run that.”
“But I need it today,” I snapped.
He pulled the gun back toward him. “Well, I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know what to tell you.”
I didn’t have time for this. I had stopped at the ATM on the way to this gun shop—which I only knew about because I’d passed it once when I got lost trying to pick Jeremiah up from school. So I peeled off three one-hundred-dollar bills and slammed the money on the counter.
“Just give me whatever gun this will buy, please.”
The man looked around, and I thought he was going to take the money. But then he pointed back at a sign over his shoulder.
“You see that? Texas law requires a background check,” he repeated. “I can’t lose my license. Not only that, I could go to jail.”
“Okay. Fine.” I peeled off two more hundred-dollar bills and put them on the counter. It’s not like I’d need any of this after today.
He was fighting with himself. “Can’t do it,” he finally said as he pushed the money back toward me. His eyes made their way over my shoulder to a young black teen who had just come into the shop. “Sorry, I can’t help you,” he said to me, though his eyes stayed on the teen. “Whatcha need, young fella?” he called out.
The teen looked uneasy, then said, “Nothing . . . I was . . . I was just looking.” Then he turned around and left the shop.
The store clerk shook his head. “I know these thugs aren’t trying to rob me,” he said. “The last ones that tried ended up paralyzed for life.”
“What would make you think he was trying to rob you?” I asked.
The man leaned in and lowered his voice, even though it was just him and me in the store. “He has on a hoodie. Who wears a hoodie in the middle of the day?”
I thought back to my grandson and how he always had a hoodie on. And I wondered if this man would find my grandson a threat. I shook away that thought and said, “So, you can’t help me at all? I’m not a criminal or anything. I just really need a gun.”
“Sorry, mister. I wish I could,” he said, standing upright. He placed the gun back in the case. “I can take your application and you can come back on Monday—Tuesday just to play it safe.”
I snatched my money back off the counter and headed outside. What was I going to do now? I’d been prepared to execute my plan, and I’d never dreamed it would be difficult to get a gun. I thought about Bruce. I was sure he had one, but no way would he let me borrow it given the state of mind I’d been in lately.
I was about to climb back into my truck when the teen who’d been in the store approached me. He was still wearing his hoodie, but I wasn’t the least bit scared, even though he looked like he was up to no good. I don’t know if that’s what happens when you’re ready to die, but I just said, “Hello, how are you?”
The way his eyes darted around, I had no idea what he was about to do. Maybe he was a robber. Good. Then he could shoot me and save me the trouble.
“Yeah, I, uh, I saw you were looking for a piece,” he whispered.
“A piece of what?” I said, frowning.
The nervous way he was looking around told me he definitely wasn’t a robber. “A piece. A gun.”
I shook my head. “Yeah, but it’s some stupid law about a background check and his system is down,” I muttered. “Now I gotta try to find another gun shop.”
“No, you don’t,” he said. “What kind of piece? I mean what kind of gun do you want?”
I raised an eyebrow. “One that shoots.”
“How much you trying to spend?” he asked.
“I just need a little something.” So, this is why he was looking nervous. He was illegally selling weapons.
“You ain’t trying to kill no old ladies or trying to rob nobody, right?” the teen asked me.
I frowned in confusion. “So you’re a gun dealer with a conscience?”
“Look, old man,” he huffed. “Do you want the piece or not?”
He lifted his jacket and revealed a small black pistol. “Don’t worry. Ain’t no bodies on it.”
I had no idea what that meant. His eyes darted around, and I could tell he wanted to hurry up and complete this transaction. I guess my hesitation bothered him, because he dropped his jacket.
“Look, either you want it or you don’t.”
“Yes, yes,” I said. “I’ll take it.” I reached into my pocket and pulled a hundred-dollar bill out.
“Nah, man. Three hundred. Like what you were about to pay in there.”
I debated arguing with him. But this time tomorrow, money wouldn’t matter to me. I handed him the whole five hundred dollars.
He looked at me, stunned after he took the money. “Wow.”
“Can I have the gun now, please?”
He put it in my hand, and before I could say another word, he had taken off around the corner. I dropped the gun in my jacket pocket, then climbed into my truck. I was that much closer to being with my dear Elizabeth, and that thought made me smile.
I was about to start my truck when my cell phone rang and my grandson’s name came across the screen. I pressed ignore just because if I heard his voice, I might change my mind, and I didn’t want to change my mind.
I started my truck and headed to do what I needed to do.