chapter
24
Silence filled our ride back to the Markham Hotel. I wanted to give Jeremiah time to calm down, and I needed to come to terms with what I should do. I knew that Charlie was bad, but I hadn’t fully realized the effect that it was having on my grandson. I was so blinded by my own grief that I was oblivious to my grandson’s plight.
I couldn’t help but reflect on where I had gone wrong in the raising of Charlie. When he was growing up, I used to blame Elizabeth for babying him. Just like he was blaming Britt now. I supposed that Charlie simply had the worst of both of us in him: my father and me.
It was too late for me to save my son, but I was determined that my grandson wouldn’t grow up in a household like the one I grew up in.
“Why are we here, Grandpa?” Jeremiah asked when I finally pulled up to the valet at the hotel.
“Come on.” I handed the valet my keys and made my way inside.
“This is the hotel where I was when I saw the news. It has some special meaning,” I told him. “It’s where I proposed to your grandmother, and where we got married.”
“It doesn’t look that old,” Jeremiah said.
“I know, they’ve done a lot of remodeling.”
Instead of heading up to the room, I made a right in the lobby and headed toward the courtyard. “Come on, let me show you something.”
I led Jeremiah out a side door and over to the old oak tree.
“This spot is where your grandmother said she would marry me, and where we later exchanged vows.” I thought standing here would make me sad, but it actually made my heart smile.
Jeremiah leaned down and read the historical marker.
“Planted by Mr. and Mrs. Frederick Martin, 1938. Wow.”
We stood together in comfortable silence. I felt Elizabeth’s presence throughout. And this time I heard her say, Job well done, my love. Job well done.
After a few minutes, I said, “Let’s head upstairs so I can get my stuff out of the room.”
Jeremiah remained silent as we made our way up in the elevator. Once we reached the third floor, I reached in my pocket and took out the key to open Room 316.
I immediately went to grab the note. At this point I didn’t want anyone to ever see it.
“I’m going to use the restroom,” Jeremiah said, stepping into the bathroom.
I started gathering my things, then remembered the gun. I raced over to the mattress, reached underneath, and pulled it out. I had just dropped the gun in my duffel bag when I turned to see Jeremiah standing in the doorway, watching me.
“You really were going to do it?” he said. “I thought you had made that up. I—”
I cut him off. “I’m ashamed to say that I was.”
“So I guess we both were going to take the coward’s way out,” he said, his eyes bearing a shame of their own.
I walked over and gripped him by the shoulders. “Don’t. Don’t ever say that. We weren’t cowards. We were despondent. We’d lost sight of what matters. It doesn’t matter what almost happened. All that matters is what did happen.”
“What if we both had—”
“We’re not even going to think about that,” I interrupted. “Everything happens for a reason. The housekeeper interrupted me, which gave me time to see you on the news.”
“Wow, maybe she was an angel sent to save us both, because if you hadn’t come, I had made up in my mind that I was going to jump.”
It broke my heart to realize Jeremiah had been so close to death. I also thought about that angel of a housekeeper. I had been so rude to her, and one of Elizabeth’s favorite sayings popped to mind: Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unaware.
I was going to ask about the housekeeper on the way out. Maybe I could give her a tip, though honestly, I could never repay her for what she’d done.
“Let’s go, son,” I told Jeremiah after I’d gathered all my belongings.
I headed toward the door, but Jeremiah remained by the window.
He turned to me. “I don’t want to go back there. I don’t want to go home.”
I paused, then found myself asking, “Your dad doesn’t hit you or anything, does he?”
Jeremiah shook his head. “No, but what he does do is a lot more painful. He beats my soul.”
I’d never given a lot of thought to verbal abuse, because my father hurt us with his fists so much that we almost welcomed the emotional punishment.
“You know what?” I said after a few more moments of silence. “I’ve been thinking. Everyone seems to believe that the problem is me living alone. Do you know where I could find a young man, about fourteen, fifteen, who would like to live with me, keep me out of trouble?”
Jeremiah’s eyes widened. “Are you for real?”
“I am.”
Then just as quickly, dejection made his shoulders slump. “Dad is never gonna go for that.”
“Oh, I’ll convince him.” I didn’t know how, but in the last few hours I’d learned that anything was possible. If I couldn’t get through to Charlie, I would go through Britt, convince her to finally stand up to her husband.
“Only one condition, though.”
“Anything.”
“I want both of us to go talk to a therapist. Maybe talking about our issues can do us both some good,” I said.
He shrugged. “As long as I can come live with you, I’m good. I’ll talk to whoever you want.”
At first I thought I’d been spared in order to save Jeremiah, but as we left Room 316, I realized that Jeremiah was spared to save me, too.