chapter
4
I had fallen asleep with betrayal on my mind. And I’d awakened with more thoughts of revenge. I groaned as my head throbbed from all the liquor that I’d consumed yesterday. I didn’t drink like that, and that’s why I was paying the price this morning.
A shower and some breakfast helped ease my hangover, and I knew it was time to figure out my next step. I needed to start with my cell phone. I’d cut it off yesterday after I called my boss and told her that I needed some personal days. Since she was a friend in addition to being my boss, she was sympathetic without probing.
I don’t think my phone had ever been off for a solid twenty-four hours. I knew Clark was going crazy with worry, but right now, honestly, I didn’t care. Even still, I picked my phone up off the nightstand and powered it on. Clark had probably called everyone under the sun looking for me. And I didn’t want everyone else to worry about me.
As soon as the screen popped on, I saw the notification that my mailbox was full. I opened the messaging app and saw the urgent texts from Clark’s work phone, because I’d blocked his cell phone number. And for every one text he sent, Yvonne had sent two more.
If you don’t call me right now, the last text from her said.
I sighed and then dialed my best friend’s number.
“Savannah! Are you dead?” she cried, answering without bothering to say hello.
“I’m fine,” I said, taking a seat at the desk.
“Then you have lost your mind!” she barked. “Do you know how unbelievably worried we have been? We didn’t know if you had been kidnapped by a serial killer, run into a tree, or what.”
I could tell she immediately regretted her choice of words because of my accident. But I chose to ignore the reference. I couldn’t be concerned with that now.
I understood that Yvonne was worried—her job as an ER nurse had her always thinking the worst no matter what. But this wasn’t about her. Or Clark. Or anyone else who was worried. This was about me.
“Look, I’m going through a lot,” I said. “And I’m just taking some time to get my head together.”
“Where are you?” she asked. When I didn’t reply, she repeated, “Savannah, where are you?”
Yvonne had always been like my big sister, and I knew there would be no taking no for an answer. She would call out the cavalry until she tracked me down.
So I just told her. “I’m at the Markham Hotel, but do not tell Clark.”
“I’m not even talking to Clark. That jerk cheated on you, so he’s on my list.”
I was a little shocked that he had told her. I might not have understood the whys behind Clark’s transgression, but I knew he would never want anyone—especially my overprotective best friend—to know what he had done.
“So you know?” I asked.
“Yeah, he called trying to see if you were with me. Then he tried to give me some cockamamie story about you just leaving, but I know you, and we both know you wouldn’t have just taken off.”
“I know, right?” I said.
“So, I pressed him until he came clean. And girl, despite what he did, I can tell you he’s a complete basket case of worry.”
I rolled my eyes and said, “Good.”
Yvonne finally exhaled a sigh of relief. “Well, look, I’m on my way over there.”
“No, really, Yvonne. I need to be alone,” I said.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she replied. “Did that sound like it had a question mark at the end? I didn’t say, ‘Can I come over there?’ I said I’m on my way. Markham? That’s the hotel downtown, right?”
I thought about protesting, then decided maybe talking to my best friend would help me sort through things, figure out my next move.
“Fine,” I said. “I’m in Room 316.” Then I thought about it. If I let Yvonne in here, she might never leave. “You know what? I’m hungry, so just meet me in the restaurant downstairs.”
+ + +
The waiter had already served my New England clam chowder by the time Yvonne arrived. She hugged me like I’d been missing for months, even though I just saw her three days ago.
“You have no idea how worried I was,” she said. “I called every hospital in a fifty-mile radius.” Yvonne took a seat across from me, set her purse on the table, and crossed her arms. “Okay. So, start from the beginning and tell me what happened.”
The waiter approached us. “Ma’am, can I get you something?”
“Not now.” Yvonne’s tone sent the waiter scurrying away.
She glared at me. “Get to talking.”
“What has Clark told you?” I asked.
“That he messed up. That he hurt you. He’s dying because he doesn’t know where you are.”
“Good,” I said.
“Would you just tell me what happened?” she snapped.
It took me less than ten minutes to fill her in on everything. And by the time I was done, her arms had unfolded and her fists were balled up on the table. She looked like she was ready to go exact some punishment of her own on Clark.
“Clark and Dawn?” she finally muttered, still in awe.
I nodded.
Her surprise turned to sympathy. “I’m so sorry, Savannah.”
I ran my finger around the rim of my water glass. “You and me both.”
“That dirty little home wrecker,” Yvonne said. By default, Dawn had become a good friend to her as well. Yvonne didn’t get along with too many people, but she liked Dawn. “And here I thought she was your friend.”
“You and me both,” I repeated.
“You know I called the heifer.”
I shook my head and managed a terse laugh. “I should’ve known. What did she say?”
“You know she didn’t answer.” She paused as her expression softened. “Savannah, are you sure you didn’t misconstrue things? Maybe—”
The look on my face made her stop in the middle of her sentence.
“Yeah, you never have been one to overreact,” she continued, “and Clark did confess that he had cheated on you with her.” She released an exasperated sigh. “But why did they do it? What happened?”
“Does it matter?” I said. “I didn’t stick around for an explanation.”
The waiter stood back with my club sandwich in his hand. I smiled and motioned for him to set my food down, which he did. Then he turned to Yvonne again.
“Would you like anything?”
Thankfully, Yvonne smiled. “Sorry for being rude. Dealing with some heavy stuff. Just bring me an apple martini, please. I’m not eating.”
The waiter nodded and took off.
“You know you need to leave him a big tip,” I said.
She flicked off my comment. “Anyway, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Clark so desperate.”
I hesitated. “I can’t believe Clark talked to you about it, to be honest.”
“I mean, he told me, but only the overview. I could tell he wanted to explain himself, but his focus was on finding you.” She took a deep breath, and I could feel some more of her anger dissipate. “Okay, Savannah, I’m going to say this and I want you to seriously consider it. I know this is an emotional time and you’re ready to call a divorce attorney, but you do know that couples have come back from affairs before?”
Just hearing the word “divorce” made my heart constrict. I thought Clark and I were a forever couple. We’d both experienced our parents divorcing when we were young, and we’d been adamant that that would not be our destiny.
And yet divorce seemed like the only cure for my ailing heart.
“No, this is different,” I said. “Maybe if I didn’t know her. Maybe if she hadn’t been in my house, broken bread with my family. I mean, for God’s sake, Dawn has been there through this whole adoption process with us . . .” I buried my face in my hands. “Oh, my God. What does this mean for the adoption?”
I felt a pain as I thought of that. Clark and I had finally broken down and gone to an adoption agency after I got over the hurt of the miscarriage—and the fact that I’d never be able to have kids again. We had been on a waiting list for the past year, but they’d been confident that they would find us a child, especially because we were amenable to taking an older boy or girl. Maybe this was just the universe’s way of keeping another child from coming into a broken home.
Yvonne put her hands over mine as if she knew where my thoughts were drifting.
“What’s going to happen now is we’re going to talk about this,” she said, her voice gentle, trying to reason with me. She paused as the waiter approached, set her drink down, then slowly backed away. “I’m furious with Clark, but the two of you will work through this. You’ll go to counseling. You’ll curse him out, pull out some of Aunt Florence’s made-up curse words,” she said, bringing a smile to my face as I recalled my mother. She despised profanity, so she created her own cursing vocabulary.
“Then you’ll cry,” Yvonne continued, “tell Clark how much he hurt you. He’ll apologize, and you’ll eventually forgive him because in your heart you know he’s a good guy who did a bad thing. And then the two of you can still move forward with the adoption.”
I jerked my hands away because the last thing I felt like hearing was a “life goes on” speech. My husband had betrayed me in the worst possible way. And I didn’t see how in the world I’d be able to move forward from that.
“Yvonne, there is no coming back from this,” I said.
“Said every person who ever came back from something horrible.” Yvonne sighed, like she knew it was going to be hard to get through to me. She took a sip of her drink then added, “Okay, let’s talk about this. Why do you think they slept together?”
I cocked my head, trying to see if she was for real.
“Seriously? Does the why matter?”
“It does,” she answered matter-of-factly. “Because if this was something calculated, something that they plotted and planned, then that’s just evil. And we need to go grab Torrey and his crew and roll up on both of them.”
The mention of my convict cousin made me half-smile.
“But,” she continued, “if this is something that just happened, well, that’s a different story. Plotting and planning versus getting caught up in the moment is very different.”
My mind went back to Wilson and what almost happened.
“No.” I shook away that thought. With Wilson I was driven by revenge. Clark had no excuse. “Look,” I told my best friend, “all I know is he cheated on me and I can’t trust him ever again. How would we ever recover from that?”
“I don’t know. But I do know it’s possible. You can’t let one bad thing wipe away all the good. And I know you’re not going to find out what really happened until you talk to him.”
I took a last sip of the water I’d been drinking. After last night I didn’t want to touch another drink for a while.
“You know what, Yvonne?” I said after I set the glass down. “I had too much to drink last night. I’ve lost my appetite and I’m tired. So, I’m going to go lay down.”
Her shoulders sank in defeat as she motioned for the waiter. “Can you please bring the check?” she asked. He nodded and she turned back to face me. “How long do you plan on being here?”
“I don’t know. I could only book till tomorrow because they are holding some big conference and they’re sold out Saturday. But I’m hoping someone doesn’t show and I can just stay. Otherwise, I’ll be moving to another hotel.”
She looked around. Nineteenth-century art adorned the walls, and the distinctive decor showed why this had been deemed a historical landmark.
“Why didn’t you go to the Four Seasons or something? This hotel looks like it’s been here since the dinosaur age.”
“It has. Since 1938, to be exact. I actually like the historic feel of this hotel. It’s quaint.”
She turned her nose up. “Whatever. You know what’s better? Your house. You know that four-thousand-square-foot beauty Clark bought you?”
“Well, now he can sell it,” I replied. “Or he and Dawn can move in together. Plenty of room for all her kids.”
“Now you’re being ridiculous,” Yvonne said.
“You know what, I’m tired of talking about me,” I said. “How are you? How’s Chad?” I said, referring to her fourteen-year-old son, who lived with her ex-husband.
“He’s doing okay. Growing like a weed. He’ll be here next weekend, over from San Antonio. I hate not having my son here, but I know boys need their fathers.”
I nodded in sympathy. Yvonne had been embroiled in a bitter custody battle with her ex. Ultimately, she’d given in, knowing her teenaged son would fare better under her husband’s guidance.
“What about your dad? Last time we talked, you said your sisters and brothers were talking about putting him in a home.”
“Oh, they’re doing more than talking about it now,” she replied. “They’re moving forward with their plan and I just can’t believe it.”
That momentarily caused my grief to shift onto someone else. “I’m so sorry to hear that,” I said. “I can’t imagine Mr. Ollie in a nursing home.”
“You can’t believe it? They might as well put him in the ground.”
We talked about her family a little more, and when I felt her shifting the conversation back on me, I pulled out the bill that the waiter had slipped next to me as we talked, charged the dinner to my room, then stood. “Look, I appreciate everything. But I’m going to go lay down.”
I could tell she didn’t want to leave and I was prepared to just walk away, but she just said, “Okay. Fine.” She stood with me. “But I will be checking on you tomorrow. And every day thereafter.”
I managed a smile. Yvonne loved hard. “I wouldn’t expect anything less. And Yvonne,” I looked her straight in the eye, “please don’t tell Clark where I am.”
She turned her head, her gaze drifting around the bar area.
My voice got sterner. “Yvonne, you’re my best friend. Not his,” I reminded her.
She rolled her eyes and then leaned in to hug me. “Fine,” she said. “But you better hurry up and figure this out. Because Clark is a good guy.”
“Yeah. Good guys don’t sleep with their late best friend’s wife.”
“Okay. He’s a good guy who made a mistake.”
“I’m sorry. What happened when you caught Darius cheating?” I asked. I had thought I was going to have to raise bail money when Yvonne caught her longtime boyfriend with another woman. She’d broken all the windows in his beloved Corvette, and he’d ending up calling the cops on her. Luckily, I got her away before they arrived.
“I left him,” Yvonne said, without blinking an eye, “because Darius was my boyfriend, not my husband. And he was evil and sadistic. Clark is not.”
“Whatever,” I said. “I love you. See you later and don’t worry about me.”
She hugged me and we said our goodbyes. I headed toward the elevator with the thought of divorce hanging over me like a threatening cloud.
This was not the way my life was supposed to be.
Sadness filled me as I realized, yet, this was the way it now was.