Present Day
With the shopping out of the way, Red seems to be in better spirits. She made such a big deal about being charged too much for the sheets that I just smiled and let her ramble on until we got to the register. That’s when she remembered she hadn’t grabbed any shampoo bottles or extra soap.
When she came back to the front of the store, she seemed embarrassed that I’d held up the line, but I wasn’t going to wait in the back when I knew she was returning.
Besides, I was fucking hungry, and was starting to get agitated because of it. But that was all a half an hour ago, and now we’re sitting in a rustic little place, by the window, watching the world go by as we eat. I like seeing her happy; it’s a rare thing to see a genuine smile on her face when we’re outside of our home. Usually, we both look sulky and discontent, but I think being this close to Hoyt again has her spirits up.
“I wanna ask you something,” she suddenly says, putting her fork down and folding her arms on the table. I glance at her, still chewing on my steak, and arch an eyebrow.
“What’s up, babe?” I ask once I’m done chewing. I stab another piece of the meat and pop it into my mouth as I wait for Red to say what’s on her mind.
She smiles at me and it makes me feel better because, for some reason, her staunch silence after getting my attention had set me on edge for a minute.
“Do you ever see yourself with someone else? Besides me, I mean?” she asks as she adjusts an arm and drops her chin into her palm.
“Never,” I reply immediately. “Next question.”
She lets out a girlish giggle as she picks up her fork and cuts off another piece of her chicken parmesan.
I don’t know why the hell that thought would ever cross her mind, but now, I want to know.
“Why would you even ask me that?” I ask, looking at her curiously. I’m gripping my fork so tightly right now that I could snap the fucking thing in half if I wanted to, but the longer she takes to answer me, the more apprehensive I can feel myself becoming.
Maybe being this close to Hoyt is doing wonders for Red, but it’s fucking with me in a completely different way. I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding, and drop my fork with a loud clatter onto the plate. I reach for my water and take a swig, before damn near slamming the glass back down onto the table. I lean back and cross my arms over my chest, waiting for her to answer me, but she’s lost in her own little world right now, of chicken and thoughts of a different man in her life.
“Red. What the fuck? Why did you ask me that?” I ask her in a sterner tone than I mean to.
She looks up at me, her face clouded in confusion. “It was just a question, Jori.”
I clench my jaw tightly and look at her for another moment before I pick up my fork and knife, and cut another piece of steak. I’ve lost my fucking appetite, but I don’t want her to realize it or she’ll know she’s pissed me off.
The one thing I always promised myself with her was to never stay mad at her longer than it takes to finish a meal. She’s had enough people treat her like shit in her life—she doesn’t need it from me, too.
“Okay,” I reply as indifferently as I can, putting the steak into my mouth. The more I chew it, the staler it’s starting to taste, but I’m going to eat this entire fucking plate, and she’ll think nothing is wrong.
That’s the only thing that ever matters to me. I’ll swallow all my shit and keep it bottled up as long as Red has a better life now than she did as a kid.
“Hey,” she says, reaching a hand across the table and resting it on my forearm. “I’m sorry if I upset you. It really was just a question.”
I clear my throat, swallow the bit of stale shit in my mouth, and shake my head. “I’m fine, babe. I promise. See?”
I turn my eyes away from the window and force a grin on my face. Red smiles slightly and shakes her head, giving my arm a squeeze. I raise an eyebrow at her before I lower my face quickly and take a gentle bite of her hand. She leans back with a smile on her face before letting go, satisfied that all is well for now.
My stomach is turned and my taste buds have gone rotten. It amazes me how something as simple as her thinking I would ever want or need anyone besides her has fouled my mood so much.
“Are we going back to the hotel after we’re done here?” I ask, in an attempt to change the subject.
She nods, “We can. It’ll give me time to get rid of those sheets and put the new ones on the bed.”
I shake my head and chuckle. She’s not gonna get a moment’s peace until she swaps out those fucking sheets, and that’s okay. If that keeps her mind off the random bullshit, I’ll stand there and watch her change the damn things.
Maybe she’ll let me have another go at her, maybe she won’t, but I’m gonna try for it. Her happy place seems to be clean beds and a full stomach, while mine is anywhere I can be near or inside of her.
Red finishes up her meal and pats her stomach. “Food baby,” she says with a happy sigh.
I tilt my head to the side, a smile crawling across my lips as a thought enters my mind. It’s not the first time I’ve had it, but it’s the first time I’m ever speaking it.
“Maybe one day, I can put a real one in there,” I suggest nervously as I reach for my glass of water.
She blinks rapidly a few times and sits straight up. The thought isn’t lost on her, and I can tell she’s weighing the option. It makes me nervous when she doesn’t answer right away, but when her eyes soften and she nods her head slowly, I let out a sigh of relief.
“Yeah; maybe. I think we’d be good parents, you know?” she says wistfully.
“Better than what we got dealt, that’s for sure,” I agree, setting my glass back down. “Alright, do you see our server? I wanna get the check so we can get out of here. I’m sure those sheets are burning a hole in the back seat,” I tease with a wry smile.
Red reaches for her purse and I shake my head as I fish my wallet out of my pocket. “I got it, babe.”
She nods and sets it down, leaning back in her chair and glancing out the window. I let my eyes linger on her for a few seconds; they say staring at the sun is bad for your eyes, but when something shines so fucking brightly, how can you help but look at it?
I cut my gaze toward the server as she approaches and asks us if we’re all set. With a nod, I ask her for the check, and she says she’ll be back with it shortly. Red’s still staring out the window, and I’m still stealing glances at her when I can.
“Here you go. You two have a nice day!”
Red turns her face to smile at the server, then tries to crane her neck to see how much our bill is, but I pull it away from her prying eyes.
“Relax, kid,” I say with a laugh as I slide three ten dollar bills inside and get to my feet. “If you spend all your time worrying how much the food cost, you’re not gonna have enough energy to make the bed.”
She makes a face at me as she retrieves her purse from the seat next to her. I wait patiently by the side of the table for her, then put an arm around her shoulders as we begin to walk out of the place.
Tomorrow will be harder than today, but as long as the sun still shines brightly in my arms, there’s nothing we can’t deal with.