Millie’s House, 1992
Jori’s been gone for days with no mention that he was leaving, let alone where he would be going to. I’ve been sneaking around his room looking for clues. I waited till Millie was gone though, ‘cause if she could be downright nasty to me when he’s around, I’m afraid to think of how she could be if we were alone.
It makes me sad to think that he would leave me behind in this place without a friend anymore, but if I can just find something, anything, that might tell me where he went, it just might tell me if he’s coming back, too.
There’s nothing out of the ordinary that I can find. His room has always been a little messy, yet we both seem to know where everything is when we need it. All I need right now is the one thing that’s not in this room, I think with a sad sigh as I drop down onto his bed.
I put a hand over my face and think about the days when all I wanted in the world was my daddy. He would come from hard days at work and have a smile on his face, and a big, warm hug for me, no matter how tired he was. When the cops took him, I was so confused, because I knew Daddy could have never hurt Momma, no matter how much she deserved it. I cried for weeks about it, and when I felt like my heart would just burst from all the sadness, Jori was always there to make sure I still had a big, warm hug to fall into.
He made a promise to me the day they came for Daddy—no matter how bad the world would ever seem to me, he would never leave me behind. He promised to stay by my side until I said I didn’t need him anymore, but I don’t ever see that day coming, and it’s nice to have a best friend like him.
It’s nice to have a friend at all.
The girls in my class make fun of me now, ‘cause of what happened. One of them, I’m not sure which, even drew a really mean picture of what Momma probably looked like after Daddy beat her with the hammer, and slipped it into my book bag one day when I wasn’t looking. And even though I never found out who did it, Jori walked into my class the next day and told them all that when he found out, even the teacher wouldn’t be able to keep them safe.
He got escorted out of the school after that, and he wasn’t allowed to come back in without a guardian, so he would wait for me on the sidewalk outside the school property to walk me home every day. He said that way, they would know he was serious about his words, and they wouldn’t forget that he was watching them all.
It made me feel grown up, in a way, to have him there every day waiting for me. He would always smile when he saw me coming toward him; then, his eyes would narrow at each person who would look at us. Jori’s always been a bit mean looking, even when he’s smiling, but he’s never said a coarse word to me, so I think it’s just an act sometimes.
I gasp when I hear the sound of a door open and slam violently somewhere upstairs. I can tell it’s Millie because of her heavy-footed and slightly limping footsteps. She got into an accident when her and Daddy were kids; something about falling off his bike when he took a hard turn, and her foot almost got mangled because of it. She never stopped blaming him or hating him for that.
Daddy doesn’t talk about it much—or Millie, for that matter—but I know he used to spend a lot of time over here, even though he would never say why.
I move off Jori’s bed and make my way to the stairs. Maybe if I wait long enough, she’ll head up to her room, and I can run out before she even knows I was here.
When I think I can hear her footsteps fading away, I walk as quietly as I can to the staircase and put my foot on the first step. That’s when the door opens, and we see each other. She looks surprised at first, and then angry. Very angry.
“What are you doing in my house?” she barks at me.
“I’m sorry,” I say quickly as I take a step back, wringing my hands. “I was looking for Jori, and—I’m sorry.”
Millie begins to descend the stairs toward me, and I run back to Jori’s bed. It’s the furthest thing away from the door, and I’m hoping I can calm her down before she gets close enough to hurt me. Everyone hurts me, and I don’t know why—everyone except for Jori, anyway.
“That little son of a bitch has been in jail for the past few days,” she states coolly, with a nicotine-laced cough.
“What?” I ask in shock. Her smile is about as big as my eyes are right now, and I can tell she’s enjoying my dismay.
“I caught him trying to steal my car, and I called the cops. The same ones that arrested your daddy for killing your momma? They’re the same ones that came and got him,” she says, the smile turning cold and smug.
“But … we have to get him out, don’t we? I got money! Is that why you left him there? Oh, Millie! Please! I’ll give you all my money if you get him out,” I reply, a sob threatening to escape me.
She looks me up and down for a moment, before pulling a pack of cigarettes out of her bra and placing one between her yellow teeth. I wipe away my tears while she lights it and scoffs.
“You shouldn’t care too much about him, you know,” she says conversationally. “He’s just another worthless man that this goddamn world didn’t need. Just like your daddy.”
I put my face in my hands and burst into tears. I don’t understand why she’s always so mean to Jori, why she’s always so mean to me, or why she still hates Daddy over something that was clearly an accident. Millie is as bitter as the days without both of them are long, and I hate that I’m stuck here with her.
“I told your father that Doreen was fucking worthless. I tried to warn him about having kids with that bitch, and he didn’t listen to me. Look at him now; sitting on death row for finally realizing he’s got a pair and putting the bitch in the ground where she deserves to be. She should have taken her fucking kids with her,” she mutters, before taking a long drag of her cigarette.
Millie doesn’t come any closer, but she doesn’t have to. Her pure hatred for me and Daddy is enough to cut me to my core, and she knows it.
I’m crying so hard by now that my body is shaking uncontrollably, and then I hear the sweetest sound I’ve heard in days.
“What the fuck are you doing in my room?”
I tear my hands away from my face and look past Millie. Jori’s standing there with Uncle Jake beside him, looking angrier than I’ve ever seen him before. He pulls away from Uncle Jake’s hand on his shoulder and stalks past Millie, taking me into his arms.
“Oh boy! The conquering hero is home,” Millie mocks, to which Jori stiffens.
“Alright now, that’s enough of that,” Uncle Jake says sternly to Millie. He turns his attention to Jori and nods. “Pack some clothes so we can go.”
“Should have left the little bastard in jail to rot,” she remarks, taking another pull of her cigarette. “Not like he’ll do any good out here, anyway.”
“I said that’s enough, Millie,” Uncle Jake says again, giving her an angry look. “We’ll be out of your hair soon. In the meantime, you need to decide if you’re going to press charges against him,” he says, handing her a crumpled piece of yellow paper.
Jori takes me by the hand and doesn’t let go, throwing some clothes and underwear into a bag. I’m sure he’d manage better if he used both his hands, but he’s keeping his promise of not leaving me alone.
Once he’s got everything he needs, I help him zip the bag, which he hoists over his shoulder. As we begin to walk back toward Uncle Jake, Millie gives us both an amused glance, and Jori stops to look at her.
“You should probably moooo-ve before I get back. Just a friendly warning,” he says, in a tone I’ve never quite heard him use before.
“Is that a threat, you little shit?” she asks, flicking her cigarette on his sneakers.
Jori scoffs and takes a step closer to her. “No. Just some friendly advice. Oh, and stay the fuck away from Red. I don’t need you filling her head with your psychobabble bullshit.”
Millie reaches for Jori’s arm and yanks him away from me. He almost loses his footing and drops his bag, looking at her with utter hatred in his eyes.
“Don’t you ever fucking touch me again! I swear to God, I’ll fucking kill you if you try!” he bellows at her, clenching his fists at his side.
Millie lets him go and takes a few steps back, and even Uncle Jake looks a little shocked at Jori’s reaction. She tries to keep her eyes locked with his, but she loses the battle of wits and turns, damn near tripping on her way up the stairs.
Jori leans down and picks his bag up off the floor, and with that, he reaches for my hand, giving it a tug, keeping himself between me and Uncle Jake as we walk past him. Even though Millie is up there somewhere, hiding, Jori lets me go up the stairs first, keeping a hand on my back. When we get to the kitchen, he drops his bag to the floor and wraps his arms tightly around me.
“She can’t keep us apart. None of them can. I promise,” he whispers into my ear.