Sing Sing Correctional Facility
Present Day
“We didn’t get to talk much last time you were here. How ya been?” I ask Gracie, leaning an arm on the counter and smiling across the window. I’m kind of surprised she decided to change her hair color, because that’s what I always felt made my baby girl so special, but I’m sure she has her reasons, and if she feels I should know them, she’ll tell me.
“That was my fault, sorry,” she replies with a laugh. “I wasn’t so sure you’d see me, so it was a nice surprise when you told me to come up. But I’ve been doing good, Daddy. How about you?”
I nod once and return her smile, “I’m doing alright. We have our routines here and it helps the time go by, you know?”
Gracie’s smile falters, but she’s trying to stay upbeat for my sake. I don’t want to upset her, so I lean back in my chair and use a finger to make a halo around my head and raise an eyebrow.
“Oh! I almost forgot I did this,” she says with a laugh. “Do you like it? It’s more Blackburn and less evil monster spawn from Hell, I think.”
I close my eyes and chuckle. She did it to get rid of the Doreen in her, and it’s about the same thing I would do given the circumstances, I guess.
“I think you look beautiful, baby,” I reply warmly.
“Thank you,” she says with a shy smile, her face blushing a pale crimson red. We sit in silence for a moment and she begins to chew her lower lip. Something’s on her mind and that’s her tell-tale sign—it has been since she was a little girl.
“What’s on your mind?” I ask, leaning forward again and propping my elbow on the counter. I hate that my movements probably come across as robotic, but there’s only so much space in this fucking room, and I can’t really get comfortable no matter how hard I try.
She lowers her eyes and begins to pick at the chipped counter, and I smile. I’ve seen that before a few years ago, and it makes me wonder how Jori’s doing these days, too. It astounds me how similar yet so fucking different these two are.
“Have they given you a … um …” Her voice trails off, and she reaches up to wipe a tear away from her face.
“No. Not yet, and I’m not worried about that, so you don’t worry about it either, you understand? I’m more concerned with having some good memories for my little girl to cherish rather than the reality of everyday life,” I reply sternly. “Gracie? Look at me, please. Do not worry about me, okay? I’m gonna be fine, and you should be, too.”
She nods and attempts to force a smile on her face, but it looks more like a grimace and I start to laugh.
“You used to make that same face when you were a little girl. Any time I tried to scold you, you would try to smile but make that face and leave me in stitches. Some things never change, huh?”
Gracie laughs as she wipes away the rest of her tears. I grin while she takes a deep breath to calm herself down, and decide to change the subject now the chance has presented itself.
“So where are you living these days? Still in Cold Spring?”
“No,” she replies with a firm shake of her head. “I’m out in West Virginia; Harpers Ferry.”
“Oh yeah? Do you like it out there?”
“Yeah, it’s nice and quiet and no one there knows about what happened, so it’s kind of a fresh start, I guess,” she says.
You deserve it, I think with a smile on my face and a pain in my heart. Doreen was never good to Gracie, and the way she treated her alone would make anyone run for the hills when the opportunity presented itself.
“Hey, so let me ask you something else,” I begin, pausing for a moment to switch the receiver to my other hand. “How’s Jori doing? Have you seen him lately? I was always worried about that kid.”
There’s a new smile on Gracie’s face, one that tells me she’s still friends with him, but something about that isn’t sitting right with me.
“Jori’s fine, Daddy. He lives in Harpers Ferry too. With me,” she says softly.
I clear my throat, trying to fight against the tightening feeling inside it, and wait for her to continue.
“He’s great; wonderful really. I never knew we could come so far just from being best friends, you know? But Jori’s always been there for me and he still is. I love him so much.”
I let my breath out in a rush, but decide not to jump to conclusions because once upon a time, I loved Millie too. That was until she turned on my boy and started treating him like a piece of trash instead of her own blood.
“Love him how?” I ask quietly.
Gracie raises her eyebrows in confusion before she lets out a giggle and says the words I knew in my heart were going to fall from her lips.
“He’s my guy, Daddy,” she explains in an embarrassed tone. The kind of tone all little girls who introduce their first boyfriends to their fathers use in hopes to quell the disbelief that their child is all grown up.
I feel ill; sick to my stomach, because he knew. I told him when he asked me, and he chose to continue this relationship in a way he never should have.
And with as angry as I am, with all the tears that are forcing themselves down my face, I can’t find hatred in my heart for him. Jori’s always been lost, and Gracie has been the only ever constant he’s had, but now I’m faced with breaking her heart or letting her continue this completely fucked up relationship.
I run a hand over my face to wipe away the tears before they have a chance to even begin and take a deep breath. I look up into Gracie’s eyes and sigh heavily. She looks so curious and confused at my reaction that I don’t know if I have the power to do this just yet.
But as her father—as their father—I have to try.
“I need you to do something for me,” I begin softly. “I need you to stop whatever it is you’re doing with Jori.”
Gracie leans back in her chair, a look of devastation on her face. What she doesn’t understand is that this isn’t just a father disapproving of his daughter’s boyfriend; this is a father trying to save his children from each other. A father doing his best to stop a sick love that never should have come to be.
“What?” she asks, her voice becoming shrill. “Why?”
I glance up at the camera over her head. I don’t know how much time we have left, but I’m going to stop this visit before I tell her things Jori should have a long time ago.
“Ask Jori.”
With those words, I hang up the receiver and knock on the door. I know we have more time left in our visit, but I can’t face my little girl right now, knowing what’s been going on.
Hopefully, she’ll forgive me and come back and see me again. If she doesn’t, I’ll understand and keep her tucked in my heart, and hope that one day she’ll know I’ve only ever tried to be a good father.
To her and to Jori.
Maybe she’ll forgive him one day, too.