Katy
‘Right, I’m driving,’ he says coolly, walking towards my car with a sports bag in one hand and one of my coffee mugs in the other.
‘Err, first of all you’re not bringing my coffee cup with you, and secondly, of course you’re not driving, idiot. It’s my car.’
‘Yeah, but women drivers and all that,’ he smirks.
Is he joking or is he seriously this deranged?
‘Yeah, well it's ride with me or don’t ride at all,’ I snap, opening my car door to get in.
‘I’m just used to doing the riding,’ he adds with a wink as he gets in the car, still with my coffee mug, which on closer inspection says Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you’re a twat. A treasured present from Victoria. I have no idea why I ever kept it.
‘Well, there'll be no riding of any sort going on during this trip. Understood?’
He salutes me like a soldier. ‘Yes, sir.’
I cannot bloody believe I’ve somehow been talked into driving around with this plank. I mean seriously, how did I get so unlucky? Did I kill someone in a previous life? Victoria probably stole the luck right out of me in the womb too. I wouldn’t put it past her.
‘Right, where are we off to first?’ he asks, his hand on the lever and pushing his car chair back so he can stretch his legs out.
I consult my list. ‘First stop is Norfolk.’ I start tapping the postcode into the Sat Nav. ‘It says it will take us about three hours. Our interviews aren't until two pm and three pm, so we should have plenty of time.’
‘You sure you don’t want me to drive, so you can prepare for the interview?’
I scoff. ‘Why on earth would I need to prepare? I’m already prepared. It’s you that should straighten your tie and start working on your sales pitch. I doubt you’ll be able to bed the interviewer. I was told it’s a Mrs Amble. Doesn’t sound like a ditsy blonde with huge tits.’
He rolls his eyes. ‘I don’t need to prepare anything. People naturally love me. It’s you I’d be worried about. People assume you’ve got something stuck up your arse. You might want to look into that.’
My mouth drops open at the rudeness. ‘There’s still time for you to walk, you know?’
‘Alright,’ he chuckles. ‘You won’t hear another word out of me.’
And I don’t. Nothing but loud obnoxious snores for the next two hours. I’ve tried shouting at him to shut up, but he only seems to stop for a second before starting again. That’s quickly escalated to me slapping him in the face. I’m actually starting to worry. The guys out cold. If it weren’t for the snores, I’d check his breathing.
I can’t cope with this. Dick used to snore, but nothing to this degree. I’m just merging onto the M1 when I suddenly can’t take it anymore. Felix fucking Montague needs to wake his arse up and NOW.
I swing my arm back and elbow him in the chest with such force that he blurts awake in a wild panic, eyes bulging out of his sockets, his arms flailing around so erratically he hits me away. My head hits the side of the door hard.
‘Fuck!’ I shout, the pain blinding me temporarily.
‘Shit,’ he hisses, as the car loses control. I feel myself flung around the car as he desperately attempts to take the wheel. I try too, slamming my foot on the brake.
We spin fast into a circle, the brakes screeching underneath me so that Felix’s hard body is thrown into mine. I scrunch my eyes shut to stop the view of the road whizzing around me.
I’m going to die. Oh my God, I’m going to die!
It takes a few seconds of just hearing my own accelerated breathing to realise the car has stopped moving. I open my eyes slowly and look around. Felix is staring at me, eyes wide, clearly shaken.
‘What the fuck, Kitty Kat?’
I stare back at him, my tongue quivering so much in my mouth I can’t seem to form a response. He takes the wheel and starts steering it to the left.
‘Accelerate slowly.’
I look around to see that we’re in the left-hand lane and traffic is having to go around us. Slowly together we manage to get it on the hard shoulder. As soon as he pulls the handbrake up he turns to me, taking my shaking hand in his.
‘Katy, are you okay?’
My throat tightens, emotion clawing at it. Looking into his concerned eyes is too much for me right now. I burst into tears. Big, ugly, full-on snotty tears. He undoes my seat belt and pulls me into his chest, lifting me off my chair and over the handbrake onto his lap as if I weigh nothing at all.
He cradles me to him as I sob uncontrollably. I almost just killed us, all because I couldn’t stand his snoring. What does that say about me? What does it say about my personality that his snoring grates on me that much? Maybe Felix is right, and I do have a stick up my arse.
‘I’m sorry,’ I sob.
He pulls me back to look at me, tilting up my chin with his index finger.
‘What the hell happened back there? Did I…’ his face twists in torment. ‘Did I hit you in my sleep?’
Oh bless him, he thinks he’s turned into a woman beater in his slumber.
‘I hit you first,’ I admit begrudgingly. He frowns back at me. ‘It’s just that you snore so fucking bad. Has anyone ever told you that before?’
‘No,’ he says in horror. ‘I don’t bloody snore.’
‘You do! You’re like a foghorn. Maybe it’s just because you kick your skanks out right after sex and don’t give them the pleasure of staying the night to hear your horrendous snoring.’
His face twists. Why does he look so angry?
‘I don’t sleep with skanks,’ he snaps, completely removing his arms from around me. ‘I’m driving.’ He gets out, leaving me to fall into the seat and slams the door behind him. Well… that’s upset him.
He goes around to the driver's seat and lets himself in, completely ignoring me. Why do I feel so terrible? He does sleep with skanks, right?
* * *
I thought driving with Felix would be hard work, but I never banked on him giving me the silent treatment. Normally he’s a right chatty bastard. I can’t have offended him that much, can I? Or maybe he is rightly moody due the fact that I nearly killed him. God, what was I thinking?
Anyway, I need to focus. We’ve just pulled into Norfolk and Felix's interview is in an hour. My stomach rumbles, reminding me that I haven’t eaten since breakfast. I suppose nearly killing yourself will make you forget about your stomach. Well, only for so long in my case.
‘Can we pull over somewhere and get something to eat?’
He nods, without saying a word.
‘Shall we just grab a maccy d’s?’
‘Yeah fine. Suppose it’ll help the budget.’
I find the nearest one using my map app on my phone and he parks up. We start queuing up with him still ignoring me. I’ve had enough of this crap.
I poke him in the shoulder. ‘So are you going to ignore me all day or what?’
He sighs. ‘Well I’m sorry if I’m a little pissed off that you almost killed us.’
‘Was it really that? Or just that I intimated you were a manwhore?’
He rolls his eyes. ‘Did you ever just consider that I could be nervous?’
‘Nervous?’ I blurt out in shock. ‘Nervous of what?’
He rolls his eyes. ‘If you must know, I haven’t had an interview for a year and I’m hoping they don’t ask any stupid questions.’
‘Like what?’
‘Like what bloody animal I think I’d be.’
I snort out a laugh. ‘Well if it helps I reckon you’d be a cheater.’
He looks offended. ‘Hey, don’t put all us men in the same category as your ex.’
‘Oh really?’ I laugh. ‘Coming from the manwhore.’
‘Hey, I might have slept with a few women, but I don’t cheat when I’m in a relationship.’
‘That’s because you don’t have relationships,’ I counter with a smug smile.
He grins, breaking the tension. ‘True.’
We finally make it to the counter and put our order in. I decide to treat myself to a McFlurry too. The lady gives us our meal on a tray but tells me I have to wait for the McFlurry as there’s something wrong with the machine. Isn’t there bloody always?
Felix takes the food and wanders off to find us a table while I wait behind. God, I’d tell them to forget it, if it wasn’t my favourite dessert. The woman finally places it down at the counter before running off to serve someone else.
I reach out to pick it up, but it's whipped away from me right before my eyes. I turn around to see a teenage girl about to walk away with it.
‘Hey!’ I shout aggressively. ‘That’s my McFlurry!’
She turns, a devilish smile on her lips. ‘I don’t think so. This is my McFlurry.’
‘Well then you must be bloody blind, because that woman just handed it over to me.’
She shrugs. ‘Finders keepers, bitch.’
She turns around and starts to walk away. The fucking cheek of it!
Before I even consider what I’m doing, I grab her arm and pull her back. She stares at me in horror.
‘Listen here, you little bitch. I’ve already had the week from hell. I’ve been cheated on, fired, and now the one thing I’m looking forward to has been taken away from me by you. Not happening, sweetheart.’
I grab the McFlurry out of her hands. She attempts to grab it back and almost instantly we’re playing tug-of-war with it.
Felix appears. ‘Kat, what the hell are you doing?’
‘This bitch is trying to take my McFlurry!’ I shout, just as I lose my footing and the girl and I both topple over onto the floor.
He tries to intervene, attempting to take the McFlurry off both of us, but instead his strong hands force the ice-cream to shoot up and onto his suit jacket shoulder, and his chin. Oh crap.
I stare at him in horror, eyes wide. ‘Oh my God. I’m so sorry.’
‘Jesus, Kitty Kat. I’ve heard of women creaming themselves around me, but this is ridiculous.’
* * *
‘I still can’t believe I’m going to have to walk in with a stained jacket,’ Felix moans as we wait in the reception area of the school.
‘Oh shut up moaning about it, will you? I’m embarrassed enough.’
He smirks. ‘I still can’t believe you had it in you, Kitty Kat. Who knew you had claws? It just took a love for ice-cream to bring it out.’
I smile despite feeling pissed off. He has that effect on me. ‘Just don’t ever get in the way of me and my desserts and we’ll get along just fine.’
He’s the first one to be called, by a tall woman in her early fifties. He saunters in like he doesn’t have a care in the world, when I know he’s nervous. Who knew someone as cocky as him actually felt nerves? I suppose there’s still a lot I have to learn about Felix Montague.
He emerges forty minutes later with the usual cocky grin I’ve become accustomed to. It still gives me a girly thrill when It's aimed at me. He gives me a discreet thumbs-up behind the woman. Well he obviously aced it.
‘Katy Cornish?’ the woman asks me.
I nod, with a large swallow. Now it’s my turn, I feel ridiculously nervous. I’ve never been good at interviews.
I follow her in and sit across from her. She looks a bit flushed actually. That’s what you get for spending forty minutes with Felix. Flushed. Not that he affects me like that. Of course not.
The interview goes well. I’m not as nervous and awkward as I’d feared and I’m feeling pretty confident by the end that I could be in with a chance of getting the role. Ha, that would piss Felix off.
The door suddenly bursts open and a scared looking secretary comes in. ‘I’m so sorry, Mrs Amble, but your daughter has said she needs to see you urgently.’
She’s pushed aside by a teenage girl who stomps past me and straight to her mother. Oh dear Jesus! It’s the girl I was wrestling with over a McFlurry only a few hours earlier.
Shit, shit, shit.
Maybe if I keep my head down she won’t notice me?
‘Mum, Miss Philips is picking on me again. I’m telling you, you need to fire that bitch.’
Mrs Amble’s face reddens, obviously embarrassed for it to have happened in front of me.
‘Darling, this is something we need to discuss later. I’m interviewing right now.’ She points to me as if to prove her point.
I discreetly nod, keeping my eyes on the floor. I can’t help but take a peek and the little bitch is staring at me with recognition. Damn it!
‘You’re interviewing her?’ she asks in disgust.
Mrs Amble looks at her daughter confused. ‘Yes. Have you already met Miss Cornish?’
Here she goes. An evil smirk spreads over her lips.
‘You could say that. She assaulted me earlier.’
Mrs Amble’s mouth drops open, practically touching the floor. ‘What?’
Okay, how am I going to play this? Think Katy. I’ll feign ignorance and claim it wasn’t me.
I pointedly look behind me. ‘Sorry, do you mean me?’ I ask as innocently as I can.
‘Yes, you!’ she shouts. She turns back to her mum. ‘This woman is a nutter. Do NOT hire her.’
‘You must have me confused with someone else,’ I offer with a shake of my head. ‘You hear about teenagers getting confused all the time. It's your hormones.’
She jumps into my face. ‘I know it was you, bitch!’
God, she’s aggressive for a young one. Maybe I don’t want to work here if this is what the calibre of teenagers are like.
‘Just admit it!’ she screams, her eyes bulging out of their sockets. Jesus, is she on coke or something?
In that moment I want to smash her face in. I feel everything I’ve been through in the past week bubble up inside me. Getting cheated on, my own sister betraying me, losing my job, my parents moving away, having to travel with Felix. It bubbles until it hits boiling point.
‘You stole my McFlurry!’ I scream back, so loudly it echoes off the walls.
Silence descends on the room.
Uh-oh. That was definitely not the right way to react.