Katy
The first problem I have is the couch. There’s a spring I’d not noticed when I’d been sitting on it, but it’s very noticeable now. No matter what position I try it's sticking in my abdomen. Then of course there’s my bee sting, the pain of which is lessening but still present.
I clock watch until it gets to three forty-five. We’ve set the alarm for seven to give us plenty of time to have breakfast and get ready. Just over three hours. Felix basically seemed to turn over and fall asleep immediately. He’s facing the wall away from where I would lay. Maybe, I should slide in the bed after all and try to catch some zzzzz’s?
I have a quick wee and then slide under the warm, toasty duvet, keeping right to the edge so as not to touch him. God, this mattress is like heaven compared to that sofa. I look one final time at the hotel’s digital alarm clock set for the morning and finally sink into a blissful sleep.
‘What the fuck? Katyyyyy! We’re going to be late.’
I hear it from the floor because as Felix reached for the clock he knocked me out of bed.
THUD.
I bang my mouth on the edge of the bedside table on my way down.
‘Arrrrrrggghhhhh.’ I clutch my mouth. Oh my fucking God, the pain.
The light goes on and Felix peers down at me from the bed. ‘Katy. What are you doing on the floor?’
‘You fucking knocked me out of bed, cretin.’ I mumble through my hand.
‘But you weren’t in the bed.’ He looks so adorably confused right now.
‘I got in at four am. I couldn’t sleep.’
He raises his hands, ‘Well, how was I to know that? Anyway, it’s eleven am, and it takes twenty minutes to get there. My interview is at twelve and yours one-thirty, right?’
‘Right.’
He grimaces. ‘Hopefully the swelling on your lip will have gone down by then.’
I feel at my lip. Shit, it’s all puffy. Fucking fabulous. Hopefully by the time I get there they’ll have turned into Kylie Jenner lips. Miracles do happen, right?
‘How the hell did we sleep in? We set the alarm.’ I peer up at it and see it’s flashing. It had definitely gone off. ‘Goddamn it.’ I sigh.
‘What?’
I pick up the clock and turn up the radio volume until we can hear it. ‘The volume was all the way down.’ Some funny bastard obviously thought that would be hilarious.
‘Well, come on. We need to shift arse.’
We get ready quickly, pack up all our stuff, pay for the room, and head to the car. Felix insists on carrying the luggage, so I grab his jacket from the bathroom and place it on the backseat, so it doesn’t get creased. I keep mine on, which I regret after ten minutes of driving as it’s a warm day and my air con is not the best. I feel sweat slick between my breasts. Lovely.
‘I can’t believe we didn’t even have time to have the free coffee and biscuits from the room.’ I groan. They’re my favourite part about staying in a hotel.
‘Oh, here.’ He reaches down the side of the car and flings a wrapped biscuit at me. ‘Breakfast.’
‘My hero,’ I fake gush. ‘Can you unwrap it for me? Bit difficult while I’m driving.’
‘God, you’re such a Princess.’
I pull up at the school and we walk into the reception and give our names.
‘You’re very early Mr Montague.’ The receptionist says.
‘I know, but we travelled down together. I’ll just hang around, it’s not worth going anywhere else.’
We’re directed to the waiting room and I nervously take a seat.
‘You’re like a jelly, woman. Good job you didn’t have a coffee this morning.’ Felix says, grabbing my shaking thigh to try to steady it.
‘I know. I just need a job. Yesterday was a shambles. I’ve got to do better today.’
‘Miss Cornish?’
‘Good luck.’ he tells me with a wink.
The headteacher, a Mr Smith, introduces himself and his fellow interviewer, another teacher called Mrs Ross. I reach out to shake their hands in turn. I’m shaking like a bloody leaf. Shit, I think I have hypoglycaemia from not eating enough. I do occasionally get it if I’m hungry.
Then I notice a side-eye pass between them and I remember my bruised mouth. I point to it. ‘I fell out of bed this morning. Hit my mouth on the bedside table.’
‘That must have been painful.’ Mrs Ross says with concern.
‘It was. Especially as I wasn’t expecting it.’
‘Well, I don’t think anyone expects to fall out of bed, do they?’ She smiles, clearly finding me amusing.
‘It helps if the person you’re sharing with knows you’re there.’ I ramble on. Please, God, get my nervous mouth to shut up. I always ramble when I’m nervous.
‘Erm…’ Mrs Ross looks at the papers on her desk.
‘Let’s start the interview, shall we?’ Mr Smith interrupts.
I think the interview goes quite well and I’m hopeful I might be in a chance of getting the job. York is such a pretty place, I know I would enjoy living here. The only thing that’s annoyed me is I’ve had to keep sitting to one side because of my bee sting. That and the fact I can’t stop shaking. I really must get something to eat after this interview. I wonder if they’ll allow me to eat in the school canteen?
The interview over, Mrs Ross tells me she’ll escort me to the door.
Just outside she pulls me to one side. ‘You don’t have to be afraid. You can tell me if you’re being abused.’
‘Pardon?’ I ask, completely startled. She thinks I’m being bloody abused?
She smiles kindly. ‘You’re shaking like a leaf. You have a swollen mouth. There’s obviously some injury stopping you from sitting properly, and you said your other half didn’t know you were in the bed. I’m guessing he makes you sleep on the floor. I had a friend like that once. She got help. Started a brand-new life. I guess he hit you, right? That’s why you have the swollen lip. I can get you a number. Ring them.’
I grab her arm. ‘No. Seriously. Felix did not hit me. I snuck into his bed in the early hours. He didn’t know I was there.’
‘You snuck into your partner's bed?’ She questions. ‘Don’t you see how crazy that sounds. Most couples share.’
‘We’re just sharing a room. We’re attending interviews together. It’s a long story.’
She doesn’t look convinced. ‘Well, I’m here if you need me, if you need someone to talk to. If you “accidentally” fall out of bed again.’
‘Thank you, but seriously, I’m fine.’
We head back into the waiting room. ‘Well, it was lovely to meet you, Katy.’
I smile back at her. ‘Likewise. This is Felix Montague, by the way. We came together though his interview isn’t until later.’
‘Didn’t trust you alone?’ She questions.
I shake my head. ‘Seriously, no. We’re great friends. Aren’t we, Felix?’
‘Besties,’ he says, before giving Mrs Ross one of his killer smiles. He receives a dead-eye in return.
‘We’ll be in touch,’ says Mrs Ross before turning on her heel.
‘What the fuck was that all about?’ Felix questions.
‘She thinks you beat me up. I had to tell her you didn’t.’
‘Fucking what? Katy, how can I go into the interview and face someone who thinks I’m a woman beater?’ His eyes widen.
‘I told her she had the wrong end of the stick. You’ll be fine. Where’s your jacket?’ I ask him.
‘Fuck, it’s on the back seat of the car still. I’m just going to grab it.’ He runs out of the school.
When he returns his face is a grim mask, ‘What the hell did you do to my jacket, Katy?’ His voice is a menacing rumble.
Mrs Ross appears, obviously catching him berating me. She stares at him like she wants to have him arrested there and then.
‘Miss Drummond, would you like to come through?’
‘I can explain,’ Felix says, walking over to Mrs Ross and lifting his jacket up to her, opening it up. He places it under her nose, accidentally brushing her top lip with the jacket. She veers back, scared half to death by the thoughts of being attacked by a woman beater. ‘She washed my jacket in strawberry body wash. I smell like a girl.’ Felix whines.
He's not really helping his case here.
‘Mr Montague. If you could kindly take your seat and wait for your own interview.’ Mrs Ross’ face is now taut as she attempts to keep her emotions in check. ‘Miss Drummond, I apologise for the interruption, please come through.’
They leave the room and Felix stands up, ‘Come on, let’s get some lunch. There might be a Wetherspoons with a meal and beer for a fiver. I need it.’
‘But your interview?’ My brow furrows.
‘What did you use to clean my jacket, Katy?’ Felix questions.
‘You know what, my strawberry body wash.’
‘Yeah but how did you get the stain out?’
‘I scrubbed it with my bath sponge, why?’ This man gets weirder I swear.
'Because when Mrs Ross looked back up at me asking me to take a seat she had a pubic hair on the top of her lip.’ He replies. ‘So funnily enough, what with her thinking I’m into domestic violence too, I think I’ll call this one quits. Now let’s get that beer.’
He stalks out of the school and I have to run behind him to keep up. I wonder at what point in the interview someone is going to point out to poor Mrs Ross that she has a pube on her face? That poor woman, all she did was try to help me. If I had been a victim of domestic violence she would have done her best to assist me. I could tell.
Taking out my interview schedule from my handbag, I dial the schools number. I could go back in, we’re only a few yards away, but I think that school has experienced enough already at the hands of me and Felix.
‘Hi. I’m afraid that Mr Montague won’t be attending his interview after all.’ I tell the receptionist.
‘Oh,’ she replies back. ‘I’m sorry to hear that. Listen, is Mr Montague single? Could you pass him my number…?’
I snap the phone shut. ‘Unbelievable.’ I shout out as I get behind the wheel again, winding the windows down as the car is like an oven. ‘Fucking unbelievable.’
‘What now?’ Felix says. ‘Can we just get to a spoons and get my beer? I can’t cope with any more drama today.’
‘The receptionist wants your number.’ I shout out. ‘The fact you’re potentially violent doesn’t seem to have put her off in the slightest.’
He reaches for me with his hand. I veer back.
‘I was only going to tickle your cheek and say ‘is Katy-waty jealous’.” He rolls his eyes.
‘Well, I don’t want you near my lip. I need it to settle down before the next interview.’ I sigh when I think about the journey. ‘In Newquay. Just six and a half hours drive away.’
‘Dear God,’ says Felix, ‘Six and a half hours stuck with you? I’ll probably kick you out of the car halfway and leave you at the roadside.’
‘That right, Sir? Would you like to step outside the car?’ We turn around to find a policeman stood at the side of our vehicle, next to Felix. I notice that while we were engrossed in conversation a police car has pulled in behind us.
‘We’ve had reports about your potential safety, Miss Cornish. Just need to ask a few questions.’
Felix’s stomach rumbles and I shake as my hypoglycaemia worsens.
‘No need to be scared, love. We’re here to help.’ The policeman places a hand on my arm in reassurance.
Oh dear.