“Shut up!”

“I can’t because it totally happened. More than once.” I giggle like a Shirley Temple Gif.

“You’ve been having a torrid love affair for over a month and never told me! I’m hurt!” She pouts her lip which makes me laugh. She’s a horrible actress.

“Jill, you know what? I have no defense. This whole situation feels weird to me and I don’t want any judgement because I know it’s insane. I know it’s straight up cray cray.”

“You think getting it good is crazy? You need your brain checked girl. Who cares if you don’t know his name or you’ve only spoken in the heat of passion. If the Big D is as good as you say he is…” I nod my head yes in confirmation, “then get on the Big D Express baby! And don’t feel sorry for a single second of it.” She pulls her hand down in the universal train whistle signal.

“It makes me feel dirty sometimes. Mimi called me out last week, yet I still plan on getting me some Big D later tonight. It’s sick, right?”

“I mean, why can’t you do it in his car? Or call me crazy, exchange phone numbers and meet up sometime. Maybe ask for his name as a start?” She shrugs and takes another sip of her White Russian.

“I’m scared he’ll never show up again. It’s weird, but I feel like it’s our little thing. And without the backyard and moonlight, it will all fall away.”

“Holy crap! You have feelings for him! How did this happen? How did I not know you were getting it and getting it good?”

“Stop it, I don’t have feelings other than extreme pleasure when I’m with him.”

“Keep lying to yourself. Tonight, when he delivers your food you should take him out back and ask him his name before blowing him. Maybe ask why he’s a delivery boy?”

“Don’t discriminate Jill. But I know what you’re saying. You always tell me I set my standards too low.”

“I’m not discriminating. But if the guy is as hot as you say he is, why is he a delivery boy? It’s definitely a huge step up from Elliot the dog butler. Remember that time you were at the movies and he left you there because the dog got the runs at a family outing?” She shivers with disgust. “What kind of car does he drive? That would say a lot about your mystery guy.”

“I don’t know. When we’re all done he kind of… just leaves me. Right after he’s finished, pulls up his pants and disappears into the night.”

“He pumps and dumps? So, this is definitely heading in the booty call category. I know I was joking about catching feelings, but you can’t. It won’t end well if you care too much.”

“Ha! Do you realize who you’re talking to? He does say something before he leaves. You have no idea.” I drop my voice doing a horrible impression of him.

“Ominous, and point taken. Just try and get something out of him next time. Even if it’s just his name or what kind of car he drives. Then we can Google the shit out of him. Oh, go for the license plate!”

I make a mental note as we finish up our drinks and ask for the check. We’re at a local dive bar in between where we live. We decided to meet up before I go see Mimi. It’s generally hard to work around our schedules, me having two jobs and her being a workaholic.

Checking my phone, I realize it’s getting later than I thought and I do not want to miss my quality time with my mystery man.

We settle the tab and walk towards the exit. After a quick hug and promises to see more of each other, I make my walk to the nearby bus stop.

On my ride over to Mimi’s, I find myself feeling excited. I’m always anticipating Friday nights, hoping the week will fly by so I can have my naughty time. But tonight’s different. I’m gonna get answers and everything is going to work out the way it should in the end. With the Big D pledging his undying love to me.

I kid, I kid. Kind of.

Maybe Jill’s right? Am I okay with not knowing who I’m sleeping with? Screwing… what we do in no way, shape or form has anything to do with sleeping.

I can lie to myself all I want and say it doesn’t bother me that I don’t know who he is. I wonder if he’s thinking about me half as much as he’s in my head? Probably not, but I shove that to the back of my mind otherwise it’ll taint our time together.

“Hey Mimi!” I call out through the house after entering.

“Hey Sweetie! Want a soda?” She yells from the kitchen.

“Nah, I’m good right now.”

“I was feeling a little frisky tonight and ordered Chinese. I know how much you love Crab Rangoon’s.”

“Wait, what? You ordered from somewhere else?” I ask in a panic.

She sits and turns to face me. Seriousness marring her face. “Sweetie, you’re making it too easy. Make him chase you a little bit.”

“But, but…” I can’t even form a sentence. I’ve been waiting for tonight since last Friday.

“No buts Agnes. We’re gonna have a nice dinner and watch my man on TV.”

I can’t help but be disappointed and it annoys me. It’ll be fine. Maybe I am in too deep and should put the kibosh on it?

“Chinese sounds great.” A smile that’s forced plasters my face as I sit back and watch someone buy a stupid vowel.

So, we eat Chinese. I glare at my grandmother a few times after the delivery boy shows up. She smiles back and digs into her Lo Mein.

Is it possible to have withdrawals?  My loins are quivering knowing this is our time damnit!

When I say my goodbyes and close the door, I breathe a sigh of relief. I did it, I can do this. I’m an adult for crying out loud! No more nameless hook ups for me. The next time I see him, if I ever see him, I’m going to demand some information. At least get his name!

I’m walking down the driveway in my journey for the bus stop when I see a sleek, shiny sportscar idled at the curb. As I get closer I swear someone’s looking at me when I get the telltale tingle. You know when your body erupts in goosebumps and your hair stands on end from being watched? That. But after a few steps closer they peel away from the curb into the night.

Weird.

On my ride home, I remember I’m working a double tomorrow at the restaurant. I work my ass off to keep my freedom from having to move in with Mimi again. I’m off every other weekend from Lace of Desire so this is the norm for me.

When I get to the front door of my apartment there’s a giant bouquet of flowers. Like mondo huge. I look around trying to figure out if they put them at the wrong apartment door before picking them up and heading inside.

I give them a sniff and the smell is intoxicating. Once I place them on the tiny island, I pluck the card and read it.

 

Friday’s not the same without

dirtying you up in the flowers.

 

Holy crap! There’s no way. But who else could it be? It has to be the Big D. Right?

I creep around as if someone’s looking in through my windows, which isn’t a stretch being on the first floor of a triple decker.

How did he find out who I was? We never exchanged names.

That’s a lie, he knows my name's Agnes, but I didn’t give him my last name. I should be weirded out, but I’m strangely elated. He cared enough to send me flowers when we didn’t order take-out. He cared enough to investigate who I was. Maybe he got my license plate number or looked up Mimi’s address on Google?

Okay, I know this all seems really stalker-ish. Like maybe we shouldn’t order Italian for the rest of our lives. I’ll give it some time and think about it. I’m thinking all this while I sniff the gorgeous flowers.

I’m hopeless.