“Arrrgghhhhaaaaa.”

“Good morning sleepy head.”

I can hear him chuckle and I’m not in the mood. “If you laugh at me, I’ll castrate you.”

“What do you have against my dick baby? You’re always threatening it.”

My head pokes out from under the comforter and the sun is so bright I can’t help but squint. “I love your Big D, but this is your fault if you think about it.”

Grant gets a serious look on his face. “I know Aggie, I’m really sorry about last night. It’s been dealt with.”

I nod my head because I have nothing left in me. Death. I feel like death.

Grant reaches to the side table and picks up a tall glass of water and some pills. “Take these.”

“My savior.” I grab them and swallow the pills down before pulling the comforter back over my head. I’m trying to remember everything that happened last night, but it’s a little fuzzy. God, I could kill Jill for letting me drink so much.

“Oh crap.” I groan.

He pulls the blanket off my head and looks down at me with a sly grin on his face. “It’s finally coming back to you, huh?”

“The dance off?”

“Nobody does the sprinkler like you do baby.”

I groan. “The kiss?”

“Yes, you took your best friend to the ground. If you were a wrestler your finishing move would be the skull crusher.” He’s laughing so hard he can barely catch his breath.

“This isn’t funny!” I whine.

“Listen, we need to talk…” My phone starts ringing from some unknown area of the room.

I finally free myself from the blankets after flopping like a fish out of water. It’s on the floor in the corner of the bedroom and I’ve missed it by the time I manage to get my hands on it. It’s okay because it starts ringing again.

“Hello.”

“Hello! Hello! That’s all you have to say for yourself Agnes Fletcher!”

“That is the generic greeting. Although I suppose sometimes people say sup?”

“I’m sending you a picture, open it immediately.”

I pull the phone from my ear and see the little text notification. When I click on it the picture has my eyes bulging out of my head. A picture of me, drunk as hell, making out with Jill. They must have gotten us just right before we hit the deck.

“Oh crap.”

“Oh crap’s right Agnes! It was all fun and games until every potential boyfriend I’ll ever have thinks I’m a lesbian!” She sounds a bit hysterical and I need to go see her to calm her down. “It’s one thing to assume and it’s another to have physical fucking proof!”

“I’m going to get ready and be there in half an hour. Okay? You need to chill out.”

“Yes, okay. I have no choice! Just tell the front desk my lovers here!” She hangs up. I don’t know if I can handle the theatrics this morning. Hopefully my headache winds down before I get to her apartment.

I take a deep breath trying to figure out how to handle this. I know my drunk brain told me I saw paparazzi there last night, but that was just a big ass mistake.

“You’re sure there were no photographers there last night?”

“Positive.”

“Then this was an inside job. Someone’s out to get me.” I throw my phone to him. “Someone was poised and ready because our lips were literally together for half a second.”

When Grant see’s the picture he whips my phone across the room into the wall.

“Oh my god Grant! Now I don’t have a phone!” I pick up all the pieces and try assembling them together. I’d have better luck putting a broken mirror back together.

“I’ll get you another one. Do you trust me Aggie?” I nod my head yes. “Stay here, I’ll be back in a little bit. I’m going to make everything right.”

“But I need…”

“Stay here Aggie. I need to finish what I started.”  He warns before he’s out the door.

What the hell? I have no way of calling Jill back and I need to go see her. My hysterical friend is expecting me! I can’t just sit around wondering what the hell’s going on when she needs me. I get dressed and leave a note for Grant. At the end, I add that I’ll be grabbing some things from my apartment. It’s about that time to get all my crap out and into the condo upstairs.

I’ve been stopping at my apartment a few times a week to grab some clean clothes then staying at Grant’s. This started a month ago because he insists he sleeps better with me here. I’m sure it’s all a part of his master plan. He hasn’t really dropped any hints about moving in together, not with words anyhow. I’ve taken notice when I find a brand-new shower gel in the bathroom or bottle of the perfume I use on the counter. Just last week he stocked his fridge with Diet Pepsi and the type of yogurt I love. 

It's sweet, but way too soon. I need to move upstairs before he highjacks my move to his apartment. It’s only been six months for crying out loud!

I leave the bedroom after quickly showering and getting ready. There’s still a possibility Grant’s home, he could have gone to his office. I call out his name through the place with no response thankfully. If Grant was here there’s no way he’d let me go.

I feel slightly guilty leaving, but sometimes trust runs both ways and he needs to trust me. My best friend needs me, it’s not like I’m going to get arrested.

With the note left on the table next to the front door, I head out and knock on a door two floors down.

Ry opens the door in his boxer briefs scratching the back of his head. “Aggie, it’s too early.”

“I need a ride. Have Trev deal with your one nighter, we need to go.”

He laughs. “Believe me, he’s dealing with her all right. You owe me big for missing out. Let me go get ready.”

If I weren’t in a rush I’d think more on that.

When we get to the lobby of the building, I spot a whole swarm of paparazzi outside on the sidewalk. The group seems like it’s tripled over night. Huh?

They can’t see me coming from Grant’s place, so I grab Ry’s hand and reverse direction heading for the back entrance. This isn’t my first rodeo.

“Miss Fletcher! Mr. Donovan asked for you to stay inside.”

“No can-do Hank, tell Mr. Donovan I shan’t be long.”

I pull Ry even harder breaking into a jog knowing we’d be too fast for him to catch. When I bust out the back door I wait for Ry to pull his car around.

“This is making me feel like I’m doing something illegal Aggie. What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” I lie. “I just need to get to Jill’s ASAP.” Not a lie.

Within fifteen minutes I’m saying goodbye to Ry and heading for the lobby of Jill’s building. I buzz her apartment and look around waiting for her to let me in. She doesn’t live in the swankiest of places, but it’s pretty awesome.

“What’s the code word?” Comes through the speaker.

“Sexy lesbian lover.”

“Come forth.” The door clicks and I pull it open.

“Can anything go my way today?” I mumble to myself after seeing the sign on the elevator.

 

TEMPORARILY OUT OF SERVICE.

 

She lives on the freaking fourth floor!

“Guess I’ll get my cardio in.” I mumble to myself and head for the stairs.

Halfway up, I need to stop and take a break because I may have pretended I was Rocky running up the first two flights. Bad idea, I should have gone at a more leisurely pace.

I bang on the door out of breath and slightly agitated by the state of my physical fitness. I’m 24 for crying out loud, not a 76-year-old who smokes two packs a day.

“Finally!” Jill answers the door and pulls me in by my arm.

“Finally? Your elevators broken again.”

“Really? That sucks.”

“You don’t say.” I roll my eyes following her into the living room.

“So, I was thinking while I was waiting for you. This isn’t that big of a deal. Who cares if my catholic parents see the tabloid while checking out at the grocery store. It’s fine. They’ll only disown me. No biggie.”

“You could give them a heads up and say it was all a misunderstanding? That, shocker! You aren’t really a lesbian but are acting to cover a lie.”

“Good idea. Why didn’t I think of that?”

I laugh. We sit on the couch together in silence for a while.

“This is what your life’s like right now?”

“Yup.”

“Have you heard from your mom? This is the exact thing that would catch her attention.”

“Not yet thank god. If the only reason she can reach out to her only daughter is because of who she’s rumored to be dating, I don’t want her to.”

“Understandable. But you know she’s gonna catch a sniff of it sooner or later. I mean, Grant Donovan!”

I shrug my shoulders because I don’t know what else to say. She will find out and she’ll be all up in my grill for information. It’s inevitable like Jill says. She’s a user and she’d find some way to use Grant in the grand scheme of things.

“What’s Grant up to? I’m surprised he let you out of his sight.”

“He left after seeing the photo and told me not to go anywhere. It was all very ominous.”

“But here you are.”

“Here I am.”

“You’re a total badass.” She laughs.

“I’ve been hearing that a lot lately. I’m going to start believing it, maybe start fighting some crime.”

“You could be Baggie Aggie and wear those parachute pants from the 90’s. It’d be epic.”

“I never liked that look. Thank god we were born after that trend.”

“You know I love the 90’s. Give me some Zack Morris, giant pants and platform shoes any day.”

“Noted for your next birthday.”

“Thank you.”

I’ve missed hanging out with Jill. Because of the whirlwind my life has become our visits have gotten less frequent. We’d always manage to squeeze in a hangout sesh between shifts or catch a movie if I had an off night.

“Let’s go do something. We are a couple of hot chicks in our early 20’s.”

“Don’t forget lesbians.”

“How could I forget? We’re 24-year-old lesbians, let’s see the world! Let’s do something spontaneous!”

“I’m off for the next two days, I’m game!” She runs for her closet and whips out her suitcase.

“I was thinking more along the lines of going to see a movie or something.”

“You started this. Come on Aggie, our lives are so predictable!”

“Speak for yourself. Something new pops up in mine every day.”

“Well, we need this. I need this and I’ll pack enough for the both of us. Let’s go where the wind blows us!”

And the wind blew us hard…