Although Kabuchiko is Japan’s largest red-light district, it doesn’t look that much different from the rest of Tokyo. You still get the city’s famous bright lights, clustered buildings, and crowded streets. Even so, you’d be crossing an invisible line in most locals’ eyes the moment you make it here. It doesn’t matter if you say you’re just there for the sights. Most of them won’t believe anything you say. Kabuchiko is where the host clubs and love hotels are, and if you’re going there it only means one thing.

“Will you please just get on with it and choose one?” I hiss under my breath. This is the tenth love hotel we’ve checked out, and since all of them seem the same, I’m thinking he’s just dragging things out because he likes how the whole process is embarrassing me to death.

“Please be patient, senpai. You may be experienced with stuff like this, but it’s my first time.”

And of course, Yuki being Yuki, he has to say that just when a couple happens to walk past us.

The two look at me in shock. It’s obvious they think I’m taking advantage of Yuki, and if I weren’t so mortified, I’d probably find it funny. Yuki is six-foot-four and several stones heavier. Does it look like I can force him to do anything?

I start to tell them he’s just joking, but then Yuki takes my face in his hands and looks soulfully into my eyes. “I’m truly nervous about this. I know I promised that you can handcuff me---”

I hastily slap my hand over his mouth. “Will you quit it?” I turn to the couple, hoping to explain it’s really not what they think, but they’ve already hurried away like they’ve just witnessed a crime.

Behind me, Yuki starts to laugh.

Whirling back to face him, I grumble, “This is not a laughing matter. What if they report me to the police or something?”

Yuki only grins. “Let them. That’s only going to spice things up.”

“Bully!” I raise my arm to punch him on the shoulder, but Yuki only grabs my hand and brings it to his lips, and just like that my anger is vanquished. I’m a trembling, hot mess by the time he lifts his head, and the way his eyes gleam tells me he knows it, too.

“Someone’s excited,” Yuki teases in a low voice, and my face reddens even more.

“Am not.”

But the words seem to fall on deaf ears, with Yuki finally deciding to end my misery and leading us inside the love hotel. My heart feels torn as we enter. The mangaka in me is excited. It’s my first time to be in this type of establishment, and I’m eager to take in every sight and commit it to memory, knowing how invaluable it will be to my work. On the other hand, the ordinary girl in me is blushing like mad. I never thought I’d have my first time in a love hotel, and even worse is how full of people the lobby is, and of course all of them know why we’re all here.

“Ohayo gozaimasu,” the male receptionist greets us when it’s our turn to come up to the counter. “What kind of room would you be interested in and for how long?”

“Umm.” I have trouble concentrating as Yuki wraps his arms around me from behind and pulls me close. Clearing my throat, I ask, “W-what choices are there?”

The guy takes out an iPad and swipes on the screen. “Here you go.”

“T-thanks,” I mumble as I take the tablet from him. The choices are endless, and I point to the first innocuous name I spot on the list. “This one please.” The word ‘nama’ is written in hiragana, which translates to ‘raw.’ I’m guessing it would have to do with sashimi or something similar. Whatever it is, it should be better than the other suites, which have names like UFO Room and Pee Room.

“Adventurous,” the receptionist remarks. “Lucky guy.”

“Err, thanks.” I wonder if that means they’re going to serve us some weird delicacy that only locals would enjoy.

“How long?”

“Overnight.” My voice rises a little at the end as Yuki holds my hair up and starts kissing the back of my neck. With his lips still pressed to the sensitive skin, he lets my hair fall over one shoulder, and then his mouth starts to move towards the slope of my shoulder.

My fingers grip the edge of the counter, instinctively finding something to cling to as the wetness pooling between my legs makes my legs weaken. How is it I was able to last for years without feeling aroused a single instance, but now that I’m with Yuki I go through my panty liners like I have a month-long period?

When I look back at the male receptionist, he grins, and after a guarded look at Yuki, he switches to English, asking, “He good, right?”

“Uh…” Yuki’s teeth nip my shoulder as I hand over my payment, and I let out a little gasp.

The receptionist’s grin widens. “I’m wrong.” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, saying, “He very good.” He flashes a thumb’s up sign. “Where you find him?”

“F-Find him?” It’s getting harder and harder to concentrate, with Yuki now starting to suck on the side of my neck.

He nods eagerly. “What club? I get tip if I give referral to my loyal customers.”

Understanding dawns, and I turn red. “It’s n-not like that,” I stammer. I don’t know what I’m more appalled of: the fact that he mistook Yuki for the kind of host that offers extra services, or that he thought I was the kind of girl who had to pay for sex.

“No shame,” he’s quick to assure me. “We liberated here.”

“But it’s really not like that,” I insist weakly.

He looks meaningfully at the bills he’s holding, and my cheeks flame anew. Riiiiight. I’m the one paying for our room, which is normally what clients of hosts do. Shaking my head, I say, “Honestly, it’s not what you---” My voice breaks off as Yuki chooses the same moment to bite my ear.

Oh God.

That felt so good.

I mean, bad.

Clearing my throat, I try one last time to convince him. “We’re dating. I’m only checking us in because it’s my punish---” I snap my mouth shut. Shite. I think I’ve said too much.

The receptionist gives Yuki an impressed look. “Very creative.” He takes one of his business cards from the box next to the computer and hands it to Yuki with a bow. “Please contact me if you need more work.”

Yuki accepts it with both hands and bows back. “I will, thank you.”

Oh, for shite’s sake.

Snatching the card key from the receptionist, I grab Yuki’s hand, muttering, “Time to go.”

As we turn away, the receptionist cheerfully calls out, “Itadakimasu!”

Bloody, bloody hell.

He might as well have announced to the whole world that I’ll be the one feasting on Yuki.

The moment we’re alone in the elevator, I moan, “I can’t believe that happened. That was horrible.”

Yuki’s too busy laughing his head off to answer.

“Stop it,” I growl.

“You’re right.” Yuki suddenly snatches me off my feet, and I instinctively cling to him with a gasp while my legs dangle off his arm. “We should be doing something more important now.” His eyes glitter down at me. “Like kissing.”

What?

How did we even get from laughing to kiss---

“Mmph.” His mouth captures mine, and the roughness of the kiss wipes every thought in my mind. Our tongues tangle with each other, our breaths turning into pants, and it’s so, so good I almost weep in disappointment when the elevator doors open and Yuki has to tear his mouth away. I hide my face against the crook of his neck as he strides down the hallway. Our hearts thunder hard against each other, almost as if it’s sharing one beat, one rhythm, and my arms tighten around his neck as I think of what’s going to happen.

After all these years, it’s really going to happen.

My heart thuds against my chest as I watch him tap the reader with the card key. A moment later, and we’re entering the suite, and I find myself torn between excitement and nervousness. On one hand, my mangaka heart is gobbling everything up, wanting to memorize every little detail so it can recreate the place as a story setting. On the other hand, the virgin in me is panicking.

Are we really going to do this?

When Yuki lowers me to my feet, I almost stumble in my haste to get away from him. I need a little breathing space between us, just until my heartbeat stops racing like it’s training for the Grand Prix. Sensing Yuki’s gaze on me, I slowly turn around to look at him.

“Nervous?”

“Who? Me? No?” I want to bang my head against the wall right after, one for each word. “Anyway…” I clear my throat as I desperately think of something else to talk about. “This room is, umm…” I spare our surroundings a quick glance: double bed, dark curtains and matching carpet, and a flat-screen TV. “It’s surprisingly plain?”

Yuki shrugs. “It’s exactly how it should be, for the kind of room you’ve chosen.”

My brows furrow. “The Nama Room, you mean?”

His gaze turns serious. “Why did you choose this room, anyway?”

“Shouldn’t I have?” I ask uncertainly. “I thought it sounded fairly normal, and it is, isn’t it? I figured since nama means raw, maybe it means they’d offer us a free plate of sashimi or---” I break off when Yuki starts laughing. “What’s so funny?”

“You are. Nama doesn’t mean raw in this case,” he says gravely. “As you noticed earlier, senpai, the aesthetic of this room is rather plain. It’s meant to subtly reflect the type of sex that’s going to take place in it.”

I can only stare at him. “I still don’t get it.”

“Nama,” he enunciates ever so precisely, “refers to bareback sex.”

My body jerks at the words. “Oh. Dear.” I know I should tell him right this moment that’s not going to happen, and I do mean to say so, but then a picture starts to form in my mind. It’s Yuki, his handsome face a picture of arousal, looming over my naked body just before he plunges his length into me in all its rawness---

NAMA.

He looks at me under hooded lids. “Is that what you want?”

My lips start to move. “Not…” In my mind, Yuki’s started to move, his length plunging deeper into me. My throat dries, and I hear myself whisper, “…just yet?”

A slight shudder rocks Yuki’s hard body. “Dammit, senpai.” He crosses the room, and I can only stare at him, trembling like some helpless prey just waiting to be devoured. “It’s foul play to say something that sexy when this room doesn’t have a single condom in it.”

Wetness starts to pool between my thighs when he reaches me. His face is hard, his breathing harsh, and his body rigid with sexual tension. Silence throbs between us, and I’m so far gone even that takes a whole different meaning. It’s making me think of other things that can throb. Something really long. And hard. And---

A tiny whimper escapes me when I belatedly notice the change in Yuki’s gaze. It’s almost feral, and I can’t help comparing him to a ravenous beast, straining against its leash at the sight of a hapless slave girl. It wants to pounce on her---

So pounce away, I think with reckless abandon. I can take it. I mean, she can take---

Yuki’s gaze suddenly narrows. “Did you just have one of your fantasies again?”

Oh, shite. “Umm, no?” But I find myself taking a step back as he starts to advance towards me.

“And now you’re lying to me. I don’t like it when my toy lies to me.”

“I’m not your toy anymore---”

“But you are.” Yuki’s tone is lazily possessive. “And you always will be.”

My breasts start to ache. There’s no one – just no one – who can do cocky and sexy the way Yuki can. The back of my knees hit the bed, and as I fall, Yuki’s right there, falling with me, his hard body molding over mine.

“Now tell me what I want to hear, senpai.”

It’s the god in him. He knows he can make women beg with just one word, one look---

“Who do you belong to?”

And now it’s my turn, and heaven help me, but I can’t wait for it to happen.

“No one.” I know I’m provoking him, but I can’t help it. “I d-don’t belong to anyone.” I want…him to touch me. I want…him to feel me. And I want him…to make me beg for it.

His fingers grasp my hair in a grip, and the pain of it is devastatingly erotic. “You’re forcing my hand,” Yuki says roughly. “Aren’t you?” His grip tightens a fraction, and my lips part in a silent moan. Yuki sees this, and his eyes blaze. “I get it now,” he purrs. “You want me to punish you.”

His body shifts, his legs forcing mine, and that’s when I feel it---

I whimper, and his nostrils flare. A moment later, and he rocks his body again, his hard, pulsing length rubbing against my swollen flesh, and my fingers dive into the muscled panes of his back as a gasp breaks out of my throat.

“I’ll give you what you want, senpai,” he rasps, “if you tell me what I want to hear.”

Aaaaah. The temptation is too much. It’s irresistible, intoxicating, and I hear myself moan, “Punish me.”

And he does.

His mouth crushes mine in a kiss, and it’s as punishingly hard as I need it to be. It has me moaning and writhing under him, and I suddenly feel like I’m suffocating inside my clothes. “Please.” Every moment that our bodies aren’t touching each other is agony. “Please, Yuki.” I want both of us naked, now. “Please---”

But because this is a punishment, the torture doesn’t end. I hear the faint rustling of a drawer opening, and then Yuki is bringing my arms over my head. When I open my eyes, he’s already cuffing my wrists to the bed rail.

What? Where did that even come from?

Some of my shock must have communicated itself to Yuki because he suddenly smirks, saying, “Standard supplies in love hotels.” He spreads my legs apart so he can kneel between them. “And now, for your punishment…”

Oh. Shite.

His mouth begins its excruciatingly slow journey with my mouth, nibbling and licking my lips but never quite kissing me. It then moves down to my neck, nipping the tender skin without ever biting or sucking hard enough to make a mark. Further down, his mouth and hands join forces as he starts playing with my breasts – kneading without squeezing the flesh until they’re completely swollen behind the cups of my bra. Even my nipples aren’t safe from the torture, the aroused tips still covered by too many layers of fabric when he clamps them between his teeth.

My control starts to break, and I whimper, “Please.” Bite my nipples. Suck them.

But of course he does neither of these, and by the time I feel his hands running over my legs, I’m already a shaking, sobbing mess. He starts spreading my legs, wider and wider until I’m completely exposed---

“Nooooo.” I moan the word out as my body starts to writhe in his hold. “Stop staring. Please.”

But since this is a punishment, he only does the opposite, his blue eyes devouring my flesh. When I feel myself becoming wetter, I can only imagine the way it looks to him, with the stain of my moisture growing and darkening the scrap of silk that covers my swollen folds.

It’s too much, and I choke out, “No more.”

Yuki cups my chin and says gently, “I don’t think so, senpai. Especially since I’ve only just started.” His gaze takes mine captive as he slowly reaches under the skirt of my dress.

Aaaaaaaaah.

His fingers find my aching flesh, and my eyes squeeze shut as he starts to stroke the silk-covered folds. His touch is painfully soft, almost like a breeze, and it’s driving me out of my mind. “Please.” I sob the word out. I want more. I need more. God, I need so much more---

“Tell me,” Yuki rasps.

I shake my head. I can’t.

“I won’t do anything until you tell me.”

He withdraws his fingers right after, and my body arches in protest. “Yuki!”

“Then tell me,” he growls. “Say you want my fingers on your cunt.”

Oh God. The words he’s saying---

“Say you want me eating your pussy.”

The things it’s making me imagine---

“Say it---”

They sweep all my inhibitions away, and all that’s left is this aching, throbbing core of desire that demands satisfaction. Raising my dazed eyes to him, I whimper, “I want it. I want your fingers on my cunt. I want you eating my pussy---”

They’re the dirtiest words I’ve ever said in my life.

They also make me wetter like I’ve never been before.

And when I look at Yuki again, his blue eyes are also at its brightest---

“Good girl,” Yuki whispers. “Now I’m going to make you scream.”

His fingers find me again, but this time they’re holding the hem of my silk panties. A moment later, I hear a ripping sound, and suddenly I’m naked waist down. My eyes fly to his just as his fingers reconnect with my folds, but this time our bare skin comes into contact----

I scream, just like Yuki promised.

And I find myself unable to stop screaming.

Yuki’s finger easily slips inside of me, and my hips instinctively arch up to meet the slow, gentle movements of his finger. Soon, a second finger plunges inside of me, and I feel my flesh stretching to accommodate his penetrating thrusts. Another moment, and everything becomes just a little faster, deeper, and rougher. He’s shoving his fingers relentlessly into me, and I realize dizzily this is what it means to be finger-fucked.

It’s a good feeling, a really good one, but just when my eyes start to close, I feel him reaching for the hem of my dress, and I open my eyes again, just in time to see him bend his head way, way down---

AAAAAH.

His fingers withdraw to give way to his tongue.

My body arches up, but my bound wrists hold me back.

His tongue thrusts in.

My eyes roll back.

And now, he’s fucking me with his tongue.

“Yuki!” I twist and turn under his mouth, straining against the cuffs, but the exquisite torture only worsens as he reaches for my legs and places them over his shoulders.

AAAAAH.

My back is literally mid-air, but my center of gravity has transferred to that one point between my legs where his tongue continues to plunge in and out of me.

“Yuki, oh God.”

His hands move to cup the cheeks of my bottom as he grinds his mouth deeper against my flesh.

“Aaaaaaah.”

Pleasure starts to unfurl inside of me, and I start to shake, but still the thrusts of his tongue continues. Over and over it pushes inside of me, licking the walls of my flesh---

Too much. Too much. Too, too much.

I scream and sob his name as I come, and my body starts to grow heavy as I feel his tongue lap everything up and lick my folds clean. When I wake up, my wrists are free, and I’m curled under the covers. But the other half of the bed is empty, and I immediately sit up. “Yuki?”

“I’m here.”

My body twists towards the sound, and I see Yuki on his feet, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. The look on his face is painfully familiar. He’s going to leave me. Again. The knowledge hurts, but more than that, it makes me feel like an idiot. How could I have been so stupid enough to hope that what happened here would magically solve things between us?

Swallowing hard, I say unevenly, “It’s okay.”

He doesn’t speak.

“I won’t force you to stay.”

Yuki sucks his breath. “It’s not like that.” He crosses the room in one furious stride, and the bed dips as he sits on the edge. “I have an…emergency.” His eyes will me to believe in him, but his flat tone tells me I can’t ask any other questions. “I don’t want to leave you, but I have no choice.”

I close my eyes. Oh, Yuki. He should remember that love works both ways, and there will be times when I’d know him better than he knows himself.

Like now.

“Please don’t lie.”

“I’m not.”

But you are, I think painfully. You’re telling me the truth, but you’re lying to yourself.

His jaw clenches hard. “There’s nothing I want any more than to stay, but I can’t.” He slowly runs his fingers through my hair. “Please tell me you understand.”

“I do.” And it’s true. I understand that he does have an emergency, but it’s not the only reason he’s leaving.

“Tell me how I can make it up to you,” he says quietly, “and I’ll do it.” When I don’t answer right away, Yuki stresses, “Anything, senpai. You can ask for anything.”

I gnaw on my lip. “I want to…” Oh, how to say this without bursting into tears? “Do you…”

There’s a moment of silence and then Yuki says gravely, “Of course, senpai. Just name the time and date and you can do me.”

“Excuse me?” And then it hits me. I want to…do you. My face turns red, and I shake my head profusely, stammering, “That’s n-not what I meant---”

Yuki chuckles. “I know.” He bends close and whispers against my lips, “But the answer still stands. You can do me---”

“Stop it.” But despite everything, I can’t help smiling as well.

Yuki slowly pulls away to look into my eyes. “We’re alright now?”

I nod.

“Thank you.” He combs my hair with his fingers again, and I want to cry at the way his hand’s shaking. It’s like he needs to keep touching me to make sure I won’t suddenly change my mind and leave him instead.

Taking a deep breath, I reach for his hand and hold it between mine. “I think I’ve decided how you can make it up to me.”

Yuki’s intent gaze settles on my face.

“Ask me how to make it up to me when you know you can give me what I want.”

Silence---

And then he’s kissing me hard, and I know he gets it. And with this kiss, I get it, too. He wants me to wait for that time to come.