Letting Loose

 

“TGIF!” Melissa sang out as we opened the doors to her silver Honda Civic.

I sank into the passenger’s seat feeling apprehensive. When I agreed to go out with Melissa and her friends a few days ago, I must have been experiencing a moment of temporary empowerment. At the time, it seemed like the perfect way to take Jessica’s advice and put myself out there. But now Friday had arrived, and I actually had to go clubbing.

Plus, this was the first time—apart from biking to the grocery store—that I was asserting my newly-proclaimed independence from the guys. Earlier in the day, hoping to avoid unnecessary drama, I had texted Theo and let him know I was hanging out with Melissa and wouldn’t be home until later. He told me to have fun and call if I needed a ride.

About thirty minutes later, having navigated downtown San Jose in rush-hour traffic, Melissa parked in front of a row of townhomes. The area was nice with some construction in progress, and Melissa’s building looked older but well maintained. The interior was basic, but Melissa and her roommates had done a good job of making it feel welcoming.

A tiled entry opened into the living room, kitchen, and dining room. The furniture was modern and colorful, mostly newer pieces that looked like they could have been mass produced on an assembly line. There were homey touches—framed photos on the mantle, candles on the table, and a laundry basket full of girly clothes. I could imagine Jess living in a place like this and assumed it was somewhat typical for our age group. For me, it was a reality check, a stark contrast to the level of luxury the guys lived in, at least the loft and Liam’s downtown condo.

Knowing Melissa’s salary was likely comparable to my own, I was reminded, yet again, how fortunate I was to be living rent-free at the loft. I had stashed more money than I could have dreamt of in the safe in my room. Sure, I purchased groceries and other items, but Knox and Theo still refused to let me pay them rent or chip in for any of the other bills, and it wasn’t like I had a car and the associated expenses.

“I can’t believe you’ve never watched Property Brothers,” Melissa said, reaching for her drink.

We’d ordered dinner online and were eating in front of the TV. “What can I say? I don’t watch much TV, but I may have to start making time for Jonathan and Drew.” I smiled.

“Who can blame you when you live with the Bennett brothers? Please tell me they walk around shirtless all the time,” she urged, drawing out the last three words.

“Of course,” I said in a straight voice. “And they make me breakfast in bed, and give amazing back massages, and we regularly play strip poker.”

Melissa sat open-mouthed before glaring at me. “Haley! That’s mean.” She laughed. “Although, honestly, I might be more upset if it was true.”

She took a bite of her salad, looking thoughtful. “You must have the coolest parents—mine would totally freak out if I said I was living with one guy, let alone two.”

I could feel myself sweating at the sudden change in topic and hoped a suitable answer would come to me. Finally, I settled on, “Nah, my dad trusts me,” attempting to sound blasé.

“He may trust you, but I doubt he trusts the two hormone-driven guys you live with.”

I laughed to myself at the thought of Knox or Theo ever trying anything with me. For all I could tell, they weren’t interested in me that way. “It’s not like I’m dating either of them.”

“But you could.”

“Not likely,” I responded without thinking.

She cocked her head, her lips pursing. “Why not? Think they’re more the friends-with-benefits type?”

I inwardly cringed, more than ready for this line of inquiry to end. Luckily, Melissa’s phone buzzed, distracting her and saving me from having to answer.

“Perfect!” she said as she typed on the screen. “Charlie can make it tonight. And on that note, chica, we should probably go get ready.”

I followed Melissa upstairs to her room and attached bathroom. While she disappeared into the closet, I skimmed over her patterned bedding, desk, and nightstands, then studied the pictures on her dresser. A photograph of Melissa and a cute guy caught my attention; they stood close with their arms around each other, smiling.

“Who’s this?” I asked in a suggestive voice. Turnabout was fair play after all.

Melissa’s head popped out of the closet. “Oh, that’s my friend Luke.”

“Luke, huh?” I said, returning the picture to the dresser.

“I hear that tone, Haley.” I could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke from the closet. “We’re just friends; we’ve always been close. Actually, you’ll meet him tonight since he’s coming to the club.”

“Great! I’m looking forward to meeting this ‘just friends’ Luke,” I said, complete with air quotes.

Melissa laughed as she emerged from the closet holding a pile of clothes that she dumped on the bed next to me. “What are you wearing tonight?”

I already had on jeans since Zenith employees were permitted to wear them on Fridays. When I pulled out the shirt, necklace, and heels I planned to wear, Melissa scowled.

“Absolutely not.” She shook her head, tossing my top aside.

I shrugged. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Everything. You’re eighteen, not eighty.”

“Seriously? I wear this to work all the time.”

She inclined her head. “And that’s the problem.” She dug through the shirts on her bed, handing me an emerald green halter top. “Here, put this on.”

Sensing that further protest was useless, I put the shirt on, hoping Melissa would realize I couldn’t possibly wear it considering the difference in our height and size. Not to mention the fact that my bra straps were sticking out. I adjusted the fabric, attempting to pull it down to the waist of my jeans. But when I tried, the front dipped indecently, and I had to pull it back up, which only led to my stomach showing.

“See. I can’t wear this.”

Melissa turned to face me. “Hot mama! Yes, you can and you would be crazy not to. You just need a slight fix, but you look amazing. And tuck your bra straps into the side of your bra. No one will know.”

Melissa adjusted the shirt and then led me to the full-length mirror. I tried not to fidget as I assessed my outfit. My shoulders and arms were left bare, and the cowl neckline draped across my chest, enhancing my already generous bust and showcasing an acceptable amount of cleavage. The hem ended an inch or two above the waistline of my dark-wash jeans. Overall, the effect was definitely more scandalous than my normal attire.

Melissa must have been reading my thoughts when she spoke next. “No, it’s not too much—trust me.”

Melissa went back to her clothes pile, leaving me free to check the message on my phone.

Liam: Hey, gorgeous. As I am still the reigning tennis champion, you owe me dinner, and continued resistance is futile, as well as foolish.

Knowing that a response would only encourage Liam, I switched my phone to vibrate. I wasn’t mad at Liam, per se, but I still needed space, from all of them.

After Melissa selected her own outfit—dark jeans, high patterned pumps, and a plum colored lacy tank top—we finished getting ready, our conversation centering mostly on makeup tips and drama in Melissa’s group of friends. She brushed her hair into a messy ponytail while I opted to leave mine down. Once she had shown me how to duplicate her smokey eyeshadow, Melissa enthusiastically approved my “improved” look, and we headed out.

As we approached the club, two girls standing behind a velvet rope waved. Melissa hugged each of them before introducing me to her roommates, Liz and Megan. Not long after, Charlie and Luke showed up and we made small talk until finally reaching the front of the line. After examining the black “x” inked on my hand by the imposing bouncer, I followed the group down a hallway, my anxiety mounting with the beat of the loud music.

When the hall opened into a large dimly-lit room, my senses were overwhelmed by the sights and sounds, not to mention all the people. Colored spotlights spun about, tinting the space in various shades. Fast-paced music pumped through the speakers, the catchy rhythm and repetitive lyrics perfect for dancing. It was so loud, I felt like every beat was pulsing through my body, urging me to turn around and escape while I still could. Taking a deep breath, I thought, You can do this, Haley. You can do this.

Luke took drink orders, then he and Charlie departed for the bar, and I scanned the crowd, noticing how close some of the dancers pressed together. Girls dressed in everything from slinky dresses to jeans and skin-tight shirts, while guys wore some variation of jeans and a button-down shirt or T-shirt.

Just as I was ready to flee, Melissa grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dance floor, giggling with Megan. Melissa, Megan, and Liz immediately started dancing, blending in seamlessly with the crowd. Meanwhile, I swayed with the music and moved my arms, feeling stiff and hoping I didn’t look as ridiculous as I felt. Why can’t I let loose like them? Sure, Jessica and I had dance parties at home, but this was different. I was completely out of my element, and I wondered how long I had to stay before I could duck out gracefully. Maybe I could take a taxi to the loft or, worst case, call Theo for a ride.

Several guys hovered at the perimeter of our dance circle but fortunately moved away once Charlie and Luke joined us. I noticed that their continual presence was pretty effective at keeping other guys from joining our group, which was fine by me. And while they were basically strangers as well, at least they were vetted by Melissa; if they were friends, they had to be decent guys.

Dancing as a group, I could feel myself lightening up. I stopped focusing on how silly I might look and just had fun. Every few songs, Charlie and Luke would partner with one of us, but mostly we all danced together. I couldn’t help laughing at Charlie and his goofy dance moves like the sprinkler. Jess was right—I needed to get out more and have fun.

Occasionally, I’d notice a look or touch pass between Melissa and Luke, and I wondered if anyone else saw what I did. There was clearly a spark between them; they had chemistry, even if Melissa claimed they were just friends.

After thirty minutes or so of almost non-stop dancing, Melissa yelled in my ear that she was going to get a drink. I offered to go with her, fanning myself and needing to grab a bottle of water. We waded through the crush of dancers and were close to the bar when Melissa halted suddenly.

“OMG. No freakin’ way.” She shook her head as if to make sure she wasn’t seeing things.

“What? Are you okay?” I asked, concerned that something might be wrong, and then followed her gaze until I realized what, or actually who, she was looking at. No freakin’ way was right.

Knox leaned against the bar, holding a drink in his hand as he stoically inspected the crowded dance floor. No longer wearing the dress shirt from work, he had on a fitted black T-shirt and jeans that sat low on his hips. While his appearance was in keeping with the other club-goers, his demeanor clearly was not, and from what I could tell, his glass was still completely full.

Melissa strode toward Knox before I could stop her, and I was helpless to do anything but follow.

“Hey, Knox!” Melissa said brightly.

He nodded but otherwise didn’t acknowledge Melissa. His eyes locked on mine as I glared at him.

“I didn’t know you liked this club,” she said.

He all but grunted, and Melissa must have realized he wasn’t going to be very talkative. She quickly invited him to join our group, then excused herself to order a drink. Taking advantage of her absence, I roughly grabbed Knox’s large bicep and dragged him several feet in the opposite direction.

I was livid, and for the first time all night, I was thankful for the loud music as I nearly shouted at Knox. “Since I’m pretty sure you’re not here for the dancing, what do you think you’re doing?”

He shrugged and looked toward the dance floor as if that was the only answer I was going to get. His lack of a denial, or even a response, was simply fueling my fury.

“I know this can’t be a coincidence.”

Knox threaded his fingers through his hair, clearly agitated, though his voice remained calm. “I’m just looking out for you.”

“I’m dancing with Melissa and her friends at a club. Big freaking deal.”

“Yeah—it is a big freaking deal. You’re at a club with people you barely know. You’re putting yourself in a vulnerable situation, especially considering what you’re wearing.”

I closed my eyes and shook my head. Unbelievable. I wasn’t sure whether Knox’s patient tone or his words were more infuriating. Taking a deep breath, I clenched my fists at my side. “Well thanks, Dad. Now that you’ve warned me, you can go home.” I paused, watching as his expression remained impassive. “Unless I’m wrong and you are here to dance.” I smiled sweetly.

Knox folded his arms across his chest and leaned forward, his lips close to my ear. “If you’re staying, I’m staying.” As I turned away, he added, “Let me know when you want a ride home.”

I stalked back to Melissa and the group, relieved to find that they were all too busy dancing to have paid much attention to the scene between me and Knox.

Melissa edged closer. “What was that about?”

“Nothing.” I shifted my eyes, hoping she would let it go.

“If you say so,” she said, although I could tell she wasn’t buying it.

I danced with the group, willing my frustrations to fade away as the music vibrated through the room. Feeling Knox’s eyes on me, I checked my impulse to glance toward the bar. I refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing his presence affected me.

When the song changed to a slower, more seductive song, Charlie bowed playfully in invitation. After I smiled and nodded, he placed his hands on my hips. It was definitely the closest we had gotten all night, but there was still space between us while we swayed to the music.

Charlie leaned forward. “Whoa, check out the moves that guy is putting on Liz.”

I stole a glimpse of Liz and her partner in my peripheral vision. When I turned back to Charlie, I couldn’t help but laugh at his horrified facial expression. It made me even more thankful for my dance partner; he was funny and friendly but respected my personal space.

Suddenly, Charlie was no longer laughing. His eyes were wide as he removed his hands from my waist. Clearly spooked, he backed away with his hands in the air, and I had a sneaking suspicion it was Knox’s doing. As if stalking me to the club wasn’t bad enough, he also managed to scare off my dance partner.

Expecting Knox to throw me over his shoulder and carry me out of the club, I couldn’t mask my surprise when he said, “I think this is our song.”

I turned to face him and found his hand outstretched, palm up in invitation. Stunned, I placed my hand in his, relishing the feel of his warm fingers closing around mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and felt his hands settle on my hips. We started swaying to the music, and Knox scanned the room as if assessing potential threats. I stared at his shoulder, wondering what had possessed him to dance with me.

“So did you actually want to dance with me, or were you just trying to scare off other guys?”

“A bit of both.” He smirked, looking pleased with himself and causing me to roll my eyes. “But I’d say it was about eighty-twenty.”

I raised an eyebrow, clearly waiting for clarification when he leaned into me, his scruff brushing my skin as he spoke into my ear. “Only twenty percent was about the other guys.” Distracted by his proximity, it took a few moments for his meaning to sink in, but once it did, I felt a blush spread across my cheeks.

He backed away, widening the space between us once more. Too intimidated to look directly in his eyes while we danced, I glanced around and spotted Melissa and Charlie, but other dancers had filled in between, providing a barrier. I could see the astonished look on her face and had to admit that I was as shocked as she was.

When the tune changed to a faster-paced song, I thought Knox would bolt for sure, especially when it became clear that it was a line dance. I liked one of the earlier line dances once I got the hang of it, and this one seemed even easier, since the song practically told you what to do. Knox hesitated momentarily, watching the others around us. But then he quickly jumped in, his execution of the dance flawless.

“Who are you, and what have you done with Knox?” I finally said over the music, laughing as he moved in a smooth slide.

“I can’t let Theo have all the fun.” He grinned, his green eyes gleaming.

I was still fighting the urge to pinch myself when the music slowed again. Knox gently lifted my hands to his shoulders, then trailed his hands down my back and rested them on my waist, his fingers brushing along the bare skin at the top of my jeans. My senses electrified, I moved with the beat, bewitched by his intense stare and the almost surreal feeling of being in his arms.

When a tap on my shoulder brought me back to reality minutes later, I removed my arms from Knox’s shoulders and turned around to find Melissa grinning at me. “Sorry to interrupt,” she shouted, “but we’re getting ready to leave. Do you need a ride, or is Knox . . .”

Knox moved to my side. “I’m taking Haley home.”

“Great! If you guys are ready now, you can get your bag out of my car. Or, I can just bring it to work Monday.”

I shook my head forcefully. “No, we’re ready,” I replied, following Melissa through the mass of bodies and toward the exit.

Now that I had distance from Knox’s intoxicating nearness, it was like waking up from a dream. I suddenly remembered that I was angry with him . . . and why. The music throbbed painfully against my temples when mere moments ago, the sensual rhythm had drawn me in. And my heels no longer felt sexy; my feet hurt, and I could practically feel the blisters forming on my pinky toes.

Once outside, I immediately felt the difference in temperature and crossed my arms over my chest, attempting to preserve heat. Even though I’d been a little chilly while we’d stood in line outside the club earlier, the temperature had dropped at least ten degrees, and I had to clench my jaw to keep my teeth from chattering.

Megan and Liz were walking in front of us, their voices a low murmur. More than once, I noticed them watching Knox, and, of course, I wasn’t surprised. Although Charlie and Luke were both cute, they looked like skinny school boys in comparison to Knox’s broad-shouldered masculinity.

After the girls gave me a quick hug and invited me to hang out with them again soon, Charlie glanced at Knox, then simply gave me a wave. “It was nice to meet you, Haley.”

“You too, Charlie. Bye, Luke.”

Melissa handed me my tote, leaning in close to whisper, “Have a fun ride home,” before winking and skipping away. “Good night, Haley. Knox.”

Knox stared at her car as it squealed out of the parking lot. Shaking his head, he said, “That girl is kind of a trip.”

Feeling defensive of my only female friend in the state, I replied, my voice obviously annoyed, “She’s nice. And fun.”

He stared at me for a few seconds before tugging on my arm. “Let’s go. The truck is this way.”

Once we were on the road, Knox ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. “Okay, Haley. You might as well get it over with. I know you’re mad.”

“Oh, yeah. How could you tell?” I said, the sarcasm thinly veiled in my tone.

Knox chuckled lightly. “I’m incredibly observant, didn’t you know?”

I fought a smile, wanting to hang onto my indignance. But between the heat enveloping me and the exhaustion of the long day finally hitting me, I just wanted to climb into bed.

“Look, Knox. I don’t want to argue with you, but you can’t be surprised that I’m frustrated. It’s been what, a whole week since you guys agreed to drop my protection schedule? Is this how it’s always going to be? I feel like I’m taking one step forward and three steps back.”

“This wasn’t about the protection schedule. This was about you going to a club in a not-so-great part of town with people you barely know. Look what happened at the jazz club when Liam and Theo were only feet away. There’s no way I could leave you to fend for yourself, and you needed a safe ride home.”

“How did you even know I was there? Did you follow me?”

“Your cell phone has a tracker.” He held up a hand. “And before you get all bent out of shape, you should know that all of our phones have them. It’s a safety feature.”

I let that information sink in. It was so obvious, I didn’t know why I hadn’t already considered it. Of course my phone location could be easily monitored by all the guys. Although I understood the reason, it gave me pause. Were they tracking my every move in other ways? How would I ever make it to San Francisco and back undetected, even if I left my phone behind?

“It may be a safety feature, but you used it to spy on me. I’m not okay with that.”

He was silent for at least a minute, then finally said, “Is there any room for compromise here? I shouldn’t have used your phone to find you, but I had no idea where you were apart from off somewhere with Melissa. Will you at least warn me before going out like that again?”

“And you’ll let me go? Alone?”

He laughed. “No promises. But I will at least discuss it with you first.”

I considered his proposal, finally relenting. “Okay, you have a deal.” Although I wanted to assert my newly-won independence, it was nice to know someone was looking out for me. At least Knox was honest about his intentions. And after so many years of having little or no say in my life, I could work with compromise.