This weekend is one for the books.
Inclined to work the rest of the week with a relaxed mind about Brielle, Luke watched over her during the day, and kept me satiated each night.
We had lunch dates. Dinners cooked and on the table by the time I got home. Thursday night when I had to unexpectedly work late, Luke and Brielle had done the grocery shopping I intended to do. If he didn’t cook it, then he was taking us out to be served. Luke was loving all the gourmet options he couldn’t get in Calusa.
Saturday morning he let me sleep in. Not in the least bit normal for me, but I also never slept so sound after being satisfied in indescribable ways. It may have been his intention not to wake me, nevertheless, I rose from the bed and found him and Brielle making breakfast in the kitchen.
That was a sight that pulled at my heart. Giggles and pancake batter aplenty.
We spent the entire day outdoors, sightseeing and having lunch by the water at Curtis Hixon Park.
Luke loaded Brielle’s bicycle in the bed of his truck. She was riding it now around the park while we sat on an iron bench after eating sandwiches we order from a French-Canadian deli.
“I want to tell her about Brady tonight.” I sat in my favorite position, curled into his side with his arm stretched out behind me. “Will you sit with me when I do?”
“Absolutely.”
“You don’t have to. It’s understandable if it’s too weird for you since he’s your brother, her father, and I’m your girlfriend. Am I your girlfriend? We’re dating but we didn’t discuss titles. Not that we have to have titles, if that’s not your thing.”
I’m rambling. Worse, I’m nervous rambling.
Before I asked him to sit by my side when I tell Brielle about her father, I had to work up the courage to form the question. Luke believes I should get accustomed to asking for help. This was my first step towards that. But asking for any kind of help, even with small situations, leaves me vulnerable to let down. Then, if accepted, leaves me at someone else’s disposal. I’m better at relying on myself rather than another person—I get it done—but I’m trying for Luke. No promises for the rest of the world.
It’s a beautiful May day in Florida. We’ve had nothing but rain, and when we woke up to clear skies we jumped at the idea of spending it outside. Hot as hell with high humidity from all the rain, but regardless, an absolute gorgeous day.
Luke lowered his gaze from Brielle’s figure gliding from one end to another in front of us. He smirked knowingly at my prattle.
“Titles are a given even if we don’t clarify it. You’re my girlfriend, Liv. As for Brady, it’s not weird for me. He’s my brother and I’d be lying to you if I didn’t come clean and say a part of me is rooting for him to straighten his act and fix his mistakes. But Brielle is more important. Her happiness is all I want.”
He shifted in his spot, draping his other arm over my bare legs. His fingers played with the threads dangling from the bottom of my jean shorts.
With this humidity the last activity anyone could possibly want to do is cuddle their sticky, sweaty bodies together. Alas, Luke’s face inches from mine promised indecent amounts of PDA that has me forgetting about the ghastly heat.
“I’m not rooting for your brother, if I’m being honest.”
“Don’t expect you to,” he replies. “He did you wrong.”
“He did Brielle wrong. That’s his biggest offense with me.”
I gaze out ahead to check on Brielle, and make sure she remains in our sight.
“I had to work two jobs,” I tell him, watching her circle around in her hot pink helmet. “I struggled with breastfeeding because I didn’t produce milk easily, and part of the problem was my daily diet, according to the doctors. My diet was nonexistent. I ate maybe once a day. I had assistance for formula, food stamps, and walked down to the nearest church every Tuesday morning for my weekly box of food. When I left Calusa that was not the life I imagined giving my daughter.”
Tears coated my eyes, blurring Brielle’s small figure coasting ahead.
Luke wrapped a hand in my hair, bringing me in close and laying a kiss at my temple.
He didn’t reply with a nonsensical apology and I’m thankful for it. Pity was not what I wished to obtain with the retelling.
“I befriended one person in that first year. The old lady across the hall. She died. Things didn’t turn around for us for two years. That’s when I got my current job, and even after that it took awhile to make our life a little bit better. So I really want nothing to do with Brady, but my daughter has never had a father figure and she never brings it up. I don’t know if it’s because I’m enough for both roles, or if it’s causing emotional damage that will effect her in the future. What I do know is that if she wants a dad, then he better be the best damn dad in the world.”
Luke tilts my chin up and places a gentle kiss on my lips.
“You are amazing, and the best mom in this world. Brielle is the best kid because you set such a great example. She’s going to be an amazing, strong woman just like you one day. Whether she has a dad in her life or not.”
But he’s rooting for his brother. I can’t deny Luke that right. I can’t get on board with it either.
He’s found the silver lining in our situation, but I’m still searching.
And I won’t give up, because I need more pancake batter flinging mornings, and passionate sex filled nights.
Lost in his dark eyes, I fall down in to their depth. There is promise and security and endless adoration. The eyes speak louder than any voice can. They hold truths and secrets. We just have to be willing to accept what we find in them.
My greedy inner conscience is flashing the popular gif of Katniss Everdeen shouting, “I volunteer as tribute!”
Grabbing his face I close the space and land my mouth on his. I tilt my head and open for his tongue, inviting and then dominating.
I feel new and wild. A little more carefree. More like the woman I searched for in theory, and never found six years ago.
I’m who I want to be when Luke is by my side.
Pulling my mouth away, but holding onto his face with both hands, I lick the taste of him off my lips.
“Let’s go get ice cream,” I say out of blue.
Luke grunts. “You’re gonna have to give me a minute. I can’t stand up just yet.”
I smile big. “I’ll go get Bri.”
“Oh yeah that’s going to help my situation,” he calls after me as I leave him sitting alone. “Watching you walk away in those ass hugging shorts.”
A family of four glare in Luke’s direction when he shouts the word “ass” out loud. Well, the mom glares. The dad looks at said ass.
Luke jumps to his feet, shifting himself with a hand. He runs at me, wrapping his arms around me from behind, and conveniently blocking my backside from wondering eyes.
“Bri, you want to go for ice cream?” I ask as she comes to a stop in front of us.
“Ooh yay!”
Holding hands with Luke, we walk back to where we parked the truck. Brielle rides her bike on the narrow walkway a short ways in front of us.
The park is swarming with people out enjoying the sunny day. The playground is full, the field is clustered with pick-nickers and frisbee games, and a photo shoot was taken place by the river.
“Olivia!” A deep voice calls out from the right side of the park.
Turning my head towards the shout, I find a new, but friendly face waving and jogging our way.
Halting our pace I wait for him to approach. Luke calls out to Brielle, and she guides her bike in a u-turn to head back to where we stopped.
In coral docker shorts, a light blue button-up tucked in and sleeves rolled back on his forearms, Gio beams a pearly white smile in greeting.
“Hey, girlie.” He eyes up Luke, and then winks over at Brielle. “Out with the fam today, I see.”
“Finally stopped raining, so we had to get out.” Gesturing a hand in his direction, I say to Luke, “This is Gio. We work together.”
Luke extends his arm, shaking hands with Gio. “Luke. Boyfriend.”
From the outside looking in this would seem like a normal, friendly greeting. But Luke’s hardened, chopped words would only be acceptable in the BC era.
“Gay,” Gio responds shortly.
I groan.
Luke tilts his head.
“You have the whole heterosexual, caveman look going on.” Gio wiggled his fingers at Luke’s pinched face. “No need to worry. I won’t steal your girl. Liv, however, should be concerned. I’d love to whisk you away.”
Gio’s eyes snake up and down Luke’s body. I crush my lips together, holding back my laughter.
Luke loosens, chuckling and shaking his head. “Sorry. Happily taken.”
“So is he,” a cross, wispy voice says from behind Gio. Another perfect smile appears in front of us. The ginger haired man stops beside him, smacking him in the stomach.
“Liv, Luke, this is my boyfriend Matt.”
Gio’s dark to Matt’s light. They’re like the gay version of HRHes Megan and Harry.
“Liv,” Matt repeats. “So your the boss lady.”
“Technically, Gio is the new boss.”
“That’s my title, but I learned on the first day you run everything.” Gio lowers his brown eyes to Brielle. “And you are a doll, Brielle. You’re mommy talks about you all the time.”
“Hi,” she replies with a sweet voice, curling her body next to Luke with sudden shyness.
“The new guy Connor hired?” Luke asks me. I nod, knowing he remembers our conversation the other night.
“That sounded daunting,” Matt remarks. “Do I smell office gossip?”
“No,” I laugh.
“She used to date Connor,” Gio adds. With an aside to me, he throws perspective my way before continuing on with gossip. “You traded up, by the way. I’m in his old position before he took over the company. That way they have less interaction now that Liv dumped him.”
“I didn’t dump him.” I try to defend.
“Whatever,” he shrugs. “It got me a job.”
“Glad I could help.”
“So where are y’all off to?” Matt asks.
“Ice cream,” Brielle replies.
“Yum. What’s your favorite?”
“Cookie Dough.”
“That’s a great one. I like mixing Cookie Dough with Chocolate Peanut Butter.”
“Sounds good.” Brielle brightens. “Can I try that, Mommy?”
“Whatever you want.”
“Do you want to come with us?” she asks, taking to Matt.
“I was just complaining about the heat. I’d love to go for ice cream. What do ya say, babe?” Matt turns to Gio.
“I’m game. You don’t mind, Liv?”
“Of course not. You’re the one person at work I actually like.”
“Aww. I feel so special.” He places a hand on his chest, relishing the moment.
“Have you been to Dough Nation?” Matt asks. At my shake of the head no, he gasps dramatically. “Then that’s where we have to go. They have so many concoctions of cookie dough. And it’s literally right around the corner.”
We all walk to the parking lot and get in our separate vehicles. Luke follows behind Gio’s Camry and parks on Tampa Street.
The ice cream shop is overloaded with people, but I find a table to snag and wait with Gio while Luke, Brielle, and Matt place the orders.
“Your man is a hottie,” Gio says as soon as we sit down.
“As is yours.”
“Seriously, though. Why even bother with Connor when there’s men like Luke?”
The cold air inside the pink shop is cooling off the little bit of sweat I gathered just from the walk from where we parked to here.
“It’s hard meeting new people. Connor and I hit it off in the beginning.”
“Right. I heard you dated him before he took over. So how’d you meet Luke?”
“I’ve known Luke since I was a kid. We became friends during high school.”
“Oh, an old flame, huh.”
“Er. Kind of…”
“I smell a juicy story.”
“You and Matt are like freaking hound dogs when it comes to gossip,” I reply, laughing. Before getting with Luke I would have closed myself off and not opened up about my history with anyone. I’m starting to see I might have been majority of the problem when making new friends. When someone started digging, I became unwelcoming. This was hard, but I was about to put myself out there with the new guy, possibly new friend. “Luke used to date my best friend. And I was dating his brother, who is Brielle’s father.”
“Oh damn! The juice is loose! And the best friend? Still around?”
“Yes. Recently, anyway. We’re working through some things.”
Gio squints his face. “She still hung up on him?”
“No. She’s happily married.”
“Buuuut…”
I pick out Luke in the crowd, in line and placing their orders. Flicking my gaze back to Gio, I say, “My past is a whole sordid story that I’ll tell you one day, but today is a really great day and I don’t want to ruin it. That being said, Della and I are picking up where we left off. We’ve been friends since kindergarten. There’s a lot of history. But sometimes you grow apart when you become adults.”
“Makes total sense. I fell in love with my best friend, and when I told him it was never the same again. I haven’t talked to him in years.”
“That’s terrible. I’m sorry.”
He shrugs one shoulder. “It is what it is. I rather be honest with myself than live a lie just to keep others happy.”
“I don’t know how much I can share with Luke yet. They remained friends after I left home.”
“With the way that man looks at you, it’s safe to assume you could tell him you’re in to chili dogs and he wouldn’t run off.”
I stare at him in curiosity, wondering what chili dogs have to do with anything. Then it clicks.
“Oh! Oh god! That’s gross!”
Gio loses it. Banging on the table and laughing hysterically.
“What’d you do now?” Matt asks when he approaches the table. Luke and Brielle are paying at the register. Gio tells his boyfriend what he said to me. “Giovanni! This is why we never make new friends!”
~~~
After Dough Nation we parted ways with Gio and Matt. Matt made me promise Gio hasn’t nor won’t scare me off so we can hang out in the future. Not only did I crave new friends, I secretly delighted in the fact that they were guys. I tried it out with the women, but they weren’t my type.
The three of us spent the rest of the day relaxing. We checked the movie times but the most recent Star Wars film prohibited an early dinner. And with all of us agreeing to being famished from the outdoor activities, we decided to go in the morning.
Not a fan of the cult following myself, I agreed to go to spend the time with with the two of them. I love the way Luke has bonded with Brielle.
She throughly enjoyed these days he’s spent with us despite my speculation. No doubt she loved her uncle, but its always been her and I, and I assumed with an outsider in our space for a long period of time she would have gotten restless and eager to have our routine back.
But Luke was making an impact. Her and I would never have picked Star Wars for movie day. When I arrived home late Thursday night I found Brielle sitting beside Luke on the couch watching episode blah blah blah. After it ended and she asked if there were more movies, his eyes sparkled with endearment when he recognized he had a little partner to watch every last movie with him. She already had a coloring book of the famous characters.
Luke kissed my forehead when I tilted it back to look at his handsome face. We were about to go in the living room to speak with Brielle. I ran my fingers under the hem of shirt riding the top of his shorts. I drew strength from the taut flesh of his abdomen. Strength and other strong emotions that were going to have to wait until later.
We sit down on the sofa, asking Brielle to have a seat with us.
On the floor, laying flat on her belly with feet sifting in the air as she colored, Brielle eyes the spot between us before rising to her knees and walking over.
“Are you breaking up already?” She asks in a sad voice before taking her seat.
“No. What makes you think that?”
“Cassie said her parents sat her and her brother down just like this when they told them they were breaking up.” She plops down dramatically between us.
“That’s not why I called you over here, Bri,” I smile at her, lifting my gaze to find Luke’s lips twitching.
“Is it because we don’t live in Calusa?” She goes on. “Brandon said his parents divorced because his dad traveled for work and was never home.”
“Are all the kids in your class children of divorced families,” Luke retorts.
“Almost. Mom, if it’s the distance we should move. I want you to know I’m okay with that. I love Calusa.”
I stroke her silky hair. “Luke and I are not breaking up, kiddo.” Bending a knee, I twist on the couch to face her. “Bri, your dad reached out. He wants to meet you.”
“Oh,” she replies on whisper.
If this were a game of cards, she would excel at the poker face. No shock, no excitement, only unfiltered stoicism.
“Is this something you want?” I ask.
She shrugs her small shoulders.
I glance up at Luke and he lifts his chin with encouragement to continue.
“It’s okay if you don’t.” I’d love nothing more than to leave the conversation terminated right here. To keep her and protect her from any future hurt Brady may cause. But I must be the bigger person, too. “But if you do, I will be right beside you.”
“Why?” She looks up at me. “He’s never wanted me before. Why now?”
“I don’t know, sweetie. Only he can answer that. Sometimes people deserve to be given second chance.”
“Am I going to have to live with him?”
Hell no.
“You live with Mommy. That will not change. And that is a long way off before we have to even think about that, okay?”
She nods. Then looks at Luke. “If I see him, will you go with us?”
“I’m there if you want me there,” he answers, no hesitation.
“I do. Is he here? Am I meeting him today?”
“Not today,” I answer. “We’ll set it up when you give the say so.”
“I don’t want to meet him yet, Mommy. I don’t want anything to change.”
“Nothing is going to change, Bri. And after you meet him, who knows, maybe you’ll welcome the change.”
“Did you love him? When he left us before I was born?” She gazes up at me with a serious pinch in her brows.
“No,” I shake my head. “Your father and I weren’t that type of way with each other. Remember that for when you grow up.”
I poke her belly and she smiles in return.
The night wound down. Brielle didn’t ask anymore about Brady. We turned in for the night and Luke spent hours worshipping my body, consuming my soul.
I’m beyond grateful he had been here for this moment with Brielle. And I adored him for enriching our lives. Luke was here for more than the moment we had today. He wanted all our moments.