CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT - CAROLINE
My mouth was dry as I slowly came to. My head felt heavy and my limbs were weak. I couldn’t open my eyes or speak but I could hear people moving around me. My throat ached from where they put in a tube and as I laid there, unable to move, I began to panic. Was I safe? Did something happen during surgery? Was I okay? Was Daniel?
My thoughts ran wild through my mind, the panic settling in my chest. I told myself to breathe slowly, focusing entirely on the air moving through my nose. My chest rose with the effort and then fell. While I calmed down, I began to recognize the voices I heard around me.
Just as I knew he would be, Dean was there. I could hear his deep, gentle voice coming from my right and when I listened harder, Stephanie’s high-pitched laughter rang out through the room. I smiled to myself, not sure if it reached my lips. As I listened, I could make out another voice. It was softer, less coherent and it took me a few seconds to place it. When I did, I was surprised to hear my dad.
The sound of his voice made my stomach clench and my heart swell. I was happy he was there. Despite our issues and the problems we’d faced, I was still glad to find him there when I awoke from surgery. The only voice I didn’t hear was my mother’s. I listened closely, trying to decipher if she was in the room but I couldn’t.
I tried to force my eyes open but the effort was too great. I quickly grew frustrated. My body felt fine. My fingers and toes were regaining some feeling and the only complaint I had was the soreness of my throat. I even tried to see if my incision sight was painful but I didn’t feel anything at all. Groaning slightly, I finally found my voice.
My eyes remained closed but I worked through the knot in my throat, groaning and coughing roughly.
In an instant, everyone flocked to my bedside. I felt three pairs of hands find me, grabbing on to different parts of my body while I struggled to speak.
“Caroline?” Dean asked. “Baby, can you hear me? Can you open your eyes?”
Hearing his request was all it took to force my eyes open. I blinked slowly, keeping my eyes narrowed against the bright lights. My eyelids still felt heavy as they fought to remain closed but I held them open, fighting against the lights in order to see the one face I craved.
When my eyes fell on Dean, he laughed and leaned forward. He kissed me gently, barely brushing his lips against mine.
“Hey,” he said. “God, it’s good to see you awake.”
“H… How… How long have I… been out?” My voice was ragged as I spoke but I was pleased to know I could use my voice at all.
“Just a few hours,” Stephanie said. “They brought you out of surgery two hours ago. You’ve been in here ever since.”
I nodded but it hurt my head so I stopped quickly. My eyes fell on my father’s face and he smiled kindly, his eyes twinkling with an emotion I’d never seen before.
“Hi Dad,” I said weakly.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said.
I smiled and looked around, searching for a sign of my mother. She wasn’t anywhere in the room. I frowned and look at my dad, a silent question in my eyes.
“I don’t know,” he said softly.
“What?” Dean asked.
“My mom?” I asked.
“Oh,” Dean said.
“She left to get coffee about four hours ago,” Dad said. “She hasn’t been back since.”
I nodded again. This time, it didn’t hurt as bad. I wasn’t surprised to find that my mother didn’t stick around. A hospital waiting room wasn’t exactly her scene. If I knew her, she was currently at the club with a martini in her hand. She would be there well into the night, anything to distract from the reality of her life.
Still, it hurt to find out she didn’t at least stick around to make sure I was okay. I pushed that thought out of my mind and turned to face Dean. He was holding my hand and staring at my face as if he thought I might suddenly disappear. I laughed at his worried expression and stroked his cheek gently.
“I’m okay,” I said. “You can relax.”
The second the words left my lips, I regretted them. I was awake but that didn’t mean anything for Daniel.
“Wait,” I said, frowning deeply. “Where’s Daniel? Is he okay?”
Panic set in as I demanded answers and everyone quickly quieted my nerves.
“He’s okay,” Stephanie said.
“My mom is with him now,” Dean said.
“He hasn’t yet woken up, but the doctors are confident he will,” Dad said.
I nodded slowly and breathed deeply. Knowing Daniel was okay was more than I could have hoped for.
Dean, Stephanie, and my dad all stayed by my side for a long time. We didn’t talk about anything important. Instead, they distracted me with laughter and jokes. It felt amazing to just be there with them until the doctors came in to check on me. Everyone had to leave while the doctors and nurses poked over my body.
I was sore and tired and everything they did hurt like hell but I knew it was worth it. Soon, I would leave the hospital and everything would return to normal. For now, we just had to wait until Daniel opened his eyes.
After a while, Teresa poked her head inside my room with a radiant smile on her face. I’d never seen her look so happy.
“He’s awake,” she said. I cheered along with everyone else.
“Go,” I said to Dean. “Go see him.”
“I’ll be right back,” Dean said, kissing my forehead and hurrying after his mom.
I smiled while I watched them disappear into the hallway. Stephanie took my hand and squeezed it gently, tears in her eyes.
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
“Nothing.” She laughed. “I’m just really happy you didn’t die.”
We both laughed and hugged each other while my dad stood off to the side. I could tell he wanted to talk to me but he didn’t want to do it with Stephanie in the room. I asked her to go get me some ice water and another blanket, giving me and Dad a chance to talk.
Once it was just the two of us, he moved closer to my bed but he didn’t reach out to touch me. Things were awkward between us and I realized that we’d never truly had a conversation just the two of us, not a real one.
I watched him closely, waiting for him to speak. When he did, his voice was low and strained. I could feel the emotion pouring out of him.
“Caroline,” he said. “I just want you to know how happy I am that you’re okay. This entire ordeal has been terrible for everyone. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”
I nodded and waited for him to continue. He paused and sniffed, running his fingers through his salt and pepper hair.
“I should have been more supportive when you came to me,” he said. “When you first told us about Daniel’s condition, I was shocked. I truly had no idea Teresa had another child and when you said he might have been mine, I didn’t know what to think.”
“That’s understandable,” I said softly.
“But, I didn’t handle it right,” he said. “For that, I’m sorry. Even though Daniel isn’t my son, I’m still happy he’s okay. And, Caroline, I do love you very much. I know I probably haven’t been the best father to you. I’ve been demanding, and downright critical, and I want you to know that I know how wrong that was. Sitting in that waiting room waiting for the doctor to come tell us if you were okay or not, made me realize just how much I love you, even if I haven’t been the greatest at showing it.”
“I love you too, Dad.”
He nodded and moved closer to me, his eyes suddenly growing more serious. I knew he wasn’t yet done talking but I couldn’t imagine what was left to say. He told me he loved me and that was all I needed to hear.
“I can see how much you care about Dean,” he said. “And I know he cares very deeply for you. The way you two look at each other—it’s special.”
“It really is.” I smiled.
“But,” he said firmly.
“But?” I asked.
“I still don’t think he’s right for you,” he said quickly. “He’s not from our world and honey, I just worry about you. This boy already broke your heart once and what’s to say he won’t do it again? I don’t want you to open yourself up to someone you can’t trust.”
“I do trust him,” I said.
“But, how can you?” Dad asked. “After everything he’s done.”
“He’s a good man,” I said with a smile. “I know you can’t see that yet, but you will.”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head.
“Dad,” I said firmly. “Listen to me. Dean and I are going to be together. I love him more than anything, and he feels the same way about me. We’re together for the long haul, okay? He’s it for me. I know that’s hard for you to hear and I’m sorry for that but I’m an adult and this is my decision. I need you to respect it.”
Dad stared at me for a few seconds, his eyes searching my face. I could tell he was trying to think of another argument but eventually, he gave up. He sighed and nodded, sinking into a chair beside my bed and sitting with me for the rest of the day.