CHAPTER 37

Drake

Elsie’s temperature had dropped drastically, and she’d swallowed a lot of muddy water. Antibiotics and fluids were being run through her body as the doctors tried to get her temperature to come up. I was scared. The needles she was being poked with threw her into a fit and the random people surrounding her were raising her heart rate to dangerous levels. Against my insistence, they had to sedate her just to run the tests they needed to run.

When Elsie came to, waking from the drugs they used to knock her out, I tried to make the room better for her. I turned the sound down on all the machines, turned them away from her, and shut the lights off in the room. I tucked her in with blankets to try and warm her and made sure there were no wrinkles in the fuzzy socks I’d bought to slip on her feet. Tammy was smoothing her hair back, trying to get her to focus as tears poured down her cheeks.

“Elsie, honey. Why in the world did you wander off?” Tammy asked.

“The birds outside wouldn’t stop chirping. I went onto the porch to shoo them off,” Elsie said.

“Then how did you end up getting all the way across the yard?” Tammy asked.

“There were people standing at the edge of the fence asking about Drake. I figured I could answer their questions,” Elsie said.

“There were what?” I asked.

“People. At the fence. They kept asking about you,” Elsie said.

“Elsie, how many times have I told you stay away from the people who gather at the damn fence?” I asked.

“Drake, now’s not the time,” Tammy said.

“Then when the hell’s it gonna be time? Elsie, we’ve had this conversation over and over again. The people at the fence aren’t our friends. They’re tourists wanting to take pictures of our house,” I said.

“They were asking if you were okay after rehab. I thought they were friends of yours,” Elsie said.

“That doesn’t explain how you ended up in the gully,” Tammy said.

“I tripped. They left before I could get to the fence and I tripped and fell into it. I don’t remember much else about it,” Elsie said.

“The creek’s runnin’ high,” I said. “Water probably washed her into the cement drain.”

The doctors wanted to keep Elsie overnight, so I stayed. Tammy wanted to stay in the room, so I camped out in the waiting area. I called Hank, bitching to him about placing whatever call he had to in order to get my fucking house off the tour guide’s list. I wasn’t doing this bullshit anymore.

Elsie was able to come home the next day, but she was not happy with me. I kept reprimanding her for what she did, I couldn’t help myself. It wasn’t smart, and it wasn’t my best form, but I didn’t know what else to do. Just because Elsie had autism didn’t mean she was an idiot. She knew she had no business walking to the edge of the fucking property alone.

From the porch to the road was a little over half a mile of land.

Elsie knew she was being scolded and she was just as angry with me as I was with her, but I knew both our anger was just covering up how scared we were. Elsie and I were similar in that regard and we’d gotten that trait from our momma. When she was frightened, she was one fucking pissed off woman.

“The two of you are staying here for a few days,” I said.

“I wanna go home,” Elsie said.

“You’re staying at my house, and that’s that,” I said.

“You can’t keep her prisoner. If she wants to go home, I’ll be there with her,” Tammy said.

“Like you were with her a few days ago?” I asked.

“Stop it!” Elsie said. “Just stop, Drake!”

“Elsie, you were barely breathing when I found you. Covered in mud, shivering from the cold. Your lips were blue, damn it,” I said.

I clenched my jaw as tears rose to my eyes.

“Just—let me watch over you for a few days. Give Tammy a break. She’s just as tired as you are, and both of you could use the rest,” I said.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Blackthorn,” Tammy said.

“It’s over. I just—we should all get inside and get some sleep, we’re all thrashed,” I said.

We finally pulled up to the house. I carried Elsie inside, her legs still aching from yesterday’s ordeal. I carried her up the stairs and bedded her down in the guestroom while Tammy tried to settle herself down. We all needed a break. Every one of us. I needed to get some rest and calm down my anger, Elsie needed to rest and find her strength, and Tammy needed to rest and relax.

“You can sleep in my bed,” I said. “It’s just across the hall.”

“Actually, I think I’m gonna sleep in here,” Tammy said.

“You need to rest now, not to be watching over her. You’ll never get quality sleep that way. I’ve got it for a little while. Tammy, you haven’t even taken any vacation since I hired you full-time to take care of my sister.”

“Your sister doesn’t get to take vacation from her autism.”

“Where the hell are you gonna sleep?” I asked.

“In the chair in the corner, just like I did last night. I’ll grab a blanket, prop my feet up, and I’ll be good to go.”

“I’ve got a blanket downstairs. Come on, I’ll get it for ya.”

The two of us headed downstairs and I found the pot of coffee still sitting on the kitchen table. The coffee was cold, but I could feel it calling to me. I reached for someone’s dirty mug and poured me a glass, chugging the liquid down as it filled my veins with life.

I guzzled a second one before my eyes dropped to the note on the table.

“What’s that?” Tammy asked.

I picked up the note as my eyes scanned the words.

Off work at five. See you at 5:30. Delia

“Shit,” I said.

She wasn’t here when I got home, but the truth was I hadn’t thought about her up until that point. I had been so immersed with what was going on with my sister that I hadn’t even called her last night to tell her I was staying over at the hospital. I sighed as I set my mug down, then shuffled into the living room to get Tammy a pillow and a blanket from the couch.

“You’d be stupid not to marry that girl,” she said.

I whipped my head over and saw Tammy standing in the doorway. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was playfully grinning in my direction. I straightened up and held out the pillow and blanket to her, watching her take them as she held them close to her body.

“She’s not here, but she’s coming back. She puts up with your shit. Supports you when you need it. Ain’t afraid to call you out on something. She’s marriage material. And if you can’t see it, someone else will.”

My gaze held Tammy’s hotly as she turned and walked back up the steps.

Marriage? Was she serious? I'd never considered getting married again, not after losing my first wife. It almost didn't seem right. Like I was betraying Shannon somehow. Besides, I’d only known her for three or so months, and we hadn’t even interacted for the whole of them. Yeah, she was pregnant. And yeah, we were trying to make that work. But that didn’t mean we were gonna get married. That required so much more than just a baby. That required commitment. Respect. Trust.

Love.

Did I love her?

I looked up through the window and saw my reflection as the sun streamed through the glass. I looked myself dead in the eye and gave myself time to really answer that question. Did I love Delia? Was I in love with her? Or was I simply protective of the woman carrying my child?

I thought back to all the times I’d had her in my arms. Against my body. In this house rattling on about fuck-knew-what. I smiled at her ferocity and the way she was so damn stubborn. How graceful she looked on the back of Pixie and how entranced she had been by the simplicity of the lake.

It warmed my chest simply to think about her. And that was when I understood.

Yes. I did love Delia.

But was that enough? Was it enough for a recovering alcoholic that reminded her of her father to love her and want the best for her? Maybe she was looking for something more. Something different. Fuck. I hadn’t considered the idea that we might only be co-parents. That this whole relationship thing might not work out between the two of us.

I was lost in my thoughts for so long that I didn’t come to until Delia was coming through the front door.

“Brought dinner,” she said, with a grin on her face. “Is Elsie back from the hospital?”

I looked over at her, taking her in as she walked into the living room. She bent over to kiss me, her plump lips warm against my skin. They lingered a little longer than usual, and when she pulled away she nuzzled her nose against my jawline. I could smell the burgers and fries she had brought in from that wonderful place downtown.

I looked up into her eyes, taking her in as I leaned into the couch.

She came back.

“Yes,” I said. “Elsie’s back. Tammy, too. They’re upstairs sleeping.”

“Good. Come on. I’ll divvy up the food and you can pour the sweet tea,” she said.

I watched her walk away, her hips swaying in the wind as her little paunch sat just beyond her dress. She had on these cute little boots that shone with the sunlight as she turned to look at me. Her flowing blond hair and her dazzling eyes beckoned to me as I rose from the couch, her hand outstretched for mine as I took it. Our fingers intertwined slowly. Naturally. Like two lovers who had known each other for years.

I didn’t know if this was enough for her. But I knew one thing for certain.

It was more than enough for me.