“Maybe I should leave.” I stepped away, but Easton grabbed my hand, silently asking me to stay. I wanted to stay. I wanted to feel his lips on mine again, to be desired by a man. That was, until the revolving guilt swooped in. There I was moving on, and Tyler was dead.
But he wants this for you.
“Stay. Talk to me, please.”
In the short time I had known Easton, I’d been feeling emotions I didn’t want to feel, that I didn’t think I was ready to feel. Yet, my mind begged my heart to listen. To give this a chance and stop fighting every possible good thing that might come my way.
I forced myself to look at him, deciding that if I even saw a hint of pity in his eyes, I would turn around and leave. There was nothing but concern, which was laced with a bit of curiosity.
“Okay.” I sat on the other end of the couch with my hands tucked between my thighs. Scared out of my mind about how to put something I wasn’t quite ready to explain into plain English.
“Come here.” Easton reached over and gently pulled my hands into his. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
Every good feeling since the moment I had arrived at Easton’s had been replaced with an emptiness in the pit of my stomach. I closed my eyes, hoping a deep breath would aid in calming me. I’ve never spoken about Tyler with anyone I didn’t know, and I never even considered talking about him with another man who just kissed me.
“Is he who you were visiting in the cemetery?”
I nodded. “Yes,” slipped through my lips.
“Tell me about him.”
“I don’t know how to do this,” I whispered, looking away, not wanting to be lured by his captivating eyes.
“You look too young to be a wife, let alone a widow. Do you mind if I ask how old you are?” He brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, and my lungs released a heavy breath.
“Twenty-six, and you?”
“I’ll be thirty-one in October.”
I knew he was trying to ease the tension by changing the direction of our conversation, and I was grateful. I took a chance and peered into his eyes. My muscles relaxed and a peaceful calm washed over me. Weirdly, I sensed Tyler giving me the go ahead. Or I hoped that was what I was feeling.
“Come here.” He let go of my hands and then held his arms open, and I didn’t fight it. I knew how good it felt to be wrapped up in him. How safe and protected they made me feel. It had been way too long, and I wasn’t sure if I was slowly realizing that being alone wasn’t something I did very well.
“See, that isn’t so bad, is it?” Easton pressed his lips to the top of my head. “Do you want to talk about him?”
Was it normal to discuss your deceased husband with another man you just shared an incredible kiss with? Maybe. Maybe not. But if I had any hope of moving forward, of pulling myself out of this deep dark hole I’d been living in, I had to try. If Easton couldn’t handle it, then this . . . whatever it was or could be, would never work.
“We were high school sweethearts, after we graduated, I went off to college, and he joined the Air Force.”
“What did he do?”
“He was a pilot.” I smiled at the thought of Tyler living out his dream. Not too many people could check that off their list.
“Impressive.”
“He was. It was always a dream of his to fly. He and his best friend RJ, the guy from the bar the other night?” He nodded, letting me know he remembered him. “They were supposed to enlist together, but unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, RJ didn’t get accepted.” I shook my head. “So, Tyler went in alone.” I closed my eyes and stopped for a second. This was where I would have a hard time. “A year and a half ago . . .” I choked and buried my face in his chest. With a gentle hand, he brushed his fingers through my hair, soothing me with his touch until I could finally talk again.
“All they told me was that he was on a mission and something went wrong.”
“Shit, Lilly. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Easton.” I wouldn’t be able to handle any more pity, especially from him. Besides, I didn’t want him to see me as pathetic. “Please do not pity me.”
“No. Not pity. Empathy maybe, you’re still grieving. It takes time, and I want to be here to help you.”
“Thank you.”
“Anything you need.” And I knew he meant it.
I laid my head on his chest, listening to the steady drum of his heart, the even inhales and exhales of his breathing. Within minutes, I had completely relaxed under his touch.
“How long were the two of you married?”
“Barely two months, but we had been together since I was fifteen.”
“That’s a long time. I can barely begin to imagine what you’re feeling.”
I found solace in Easton’s arms, feeding off his calm, but then asked myself, how he did it. How he held a woman while asking about the man she was married to? Or maybe I was overreacting again. He could very well be a nice guy comforting a grieving woman.
Still, a tiny thought started to take root. Tyler’s letter told me I needed to move on, and it could have been a coincidence that I read the letter the day I saw Easton for the first time. Something about the timing felt . . . orchestrated. As if Tyler was pulling strings behind the scenes. Just like he had done with the second letter. That had a knife slicing through my heart, and all thoughts of a happy ending with Easton vanished.
What if I said I could make your dreams come true?
A baby.
A part of me and a part of you.
I pulled back, slowly untangling myself from his hold. I couldn’t look at him; if I looked into his eyes again, I would lose it.
“Easton, thank you, but I really should be going.” I grabbed my purse and hesitated in making my way to the door. I didn’t want to leave, but I also didn’t want to have an emotional breakdown in front of him either.
“Lilly . . .” My heart kicked up a beat. “I really enjoy your company and would love to get to know you better. Do you think you could give me a chance here? See where this goes? We don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for, but it’s nice to have someone to talk to and hang out with.”
He was right. Possibly having him as my shoulder to lean on and it wouldn’t hurt to have someone to hang out with who didn’t constantly remind me of my past and everything I no longer had.
“I agree. It is nice to have someone to hang out with.” I sighed. “Thank you for dinner, it was delicious.”
“You’re welcome. Let me walk you out.”
This time, I followed Easton down the stairs to the front of the flower shop. His steps were slow and heavy, and I knew he didn’t want this night to end so soon, neither did I. But with the way the conversation turned and that incredible kiss, mixed with how vulnerable I felt, I found it necessary to call it a night.
He gripped the handle with one hand and brushed a lock of hair behind my ear with the other. He barely touched me and already my resolve was slipping, weighing the pros and cons of continuing the evening.
I didn’t want to leave, I just felt like I had to.
“Will you call me, or can I call you?” he asked softly and took a step closer.
My breath hitched as he glided the back of his knuckle along the length of my shoulder. His touch and the warmth radiating from his body to mine started to make my mind fog over, and before I said something I would regret, I answered, “Sure.”
“Thank you again for tonight.”