I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t want to face Lacey and Jude or the questions I knew she would have for me. Instead, I called Oliver and he welcomed me.

I sat in his garden just thinking about my life and everything I’d been through recently with the “Magnus Situation” when Oliver decided to join me.

“You’re one contemplative lady today.”

I sighed. “Yeah.”

“Care to share?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me. No, come on. I might be old and weathered, but I know a thing or two about affairs of the heart.”

I looked at Oliver’s face. He had more wrinkles now than I remembered, but he seemed so happy. I knew it was because of Kat now in his life. They had instantly hit it off and I knew they were talking about marriage, but Kat valued her freedom and wasn’t interested. I heard that Oliver respected her decision, so maybe he’d understand my dilemma, even though I was the one running, while he was the one who wanted the relationship.

“I just don’t know what I want out of life anymore. All I’ve been good at is school. It’s all I’ve ever done well. I moved to Florida to try something different. I came to Florida and I got what I wanted. A different life. Adventure.”

“And you’re upset about that?”

“Yes,” I sighed in frustration. “No. I just—life is more complicated now. I’ve been defined by being the smart girl. The geek. The nerd. But here, I’m just me... but I don’t know how to be just me.”

“It really sucks when people accept you for who you are and don’t put a label on you, doesn’t it?” he joked.

I gave a harsh chuckle. “I’m having an identity crisis and I’m only twenty-three.”

He shrugged and crossed his ankles. “Better than having one at fifty. Trust me. I know from experience.”

“Oh, Oliver, what am I going to do with my life?”

“How about you just stop overanalyzing everything?”

“What?”

“You’re a smart young lady. You and Lacey are a lot alike, you know?”

I shook my head. “She’s a sassy, determined, take no prisoners, type of girl. I’m more of a fall in line and do whatever comes next type of girl.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit. Sometimes you just need to let go and let life happen.”

I looked at him again. He was wearing a plain t-shirt with a rainbow-colored Toucan on the front. He had on neon yellow shorts that were threadbare and a pair of gold running shoes. He was also wearing red-tinted sunglasses that resembled the ones Jerry Garcia always wore.

“I wish I could be more like you, Oliver. More carefree, less uptight.”

“You’re not uptight.”

“That’s what everyone at school thought.”

“You’re not in school anymore.”

He was so right. I wasn’t Lesli, the little girl who didn’t belong.

I was just plain Lesli. And hadn’t that been enough? I’d made friends: Violet and Maya. Just being Lesli was enough for them. Everyone at work liked me. No one else cared about my IQ or anything. They just liked me for me. Magnus liked me. He accepted me for who I was and instead of embracing that, I’d fought it. Even when I realized how I felt about him, I’d fought those emotions.

My rejection of Magnus had nothing to do with him or his stature in life. It had everything to do with my insecurities. I couldn’t love someone else if I didn’t even know how to accept myself. And that was the problem. Magnus wasn’t the problem. He loved me.

But I didn’t believe him, because I didn’t really love me. If I couldn’t accept myself, then how did I think someone else would accept and love me for me?

“Do you think I should talk to him?”

“Him?” Oliver pretended to not know what I was talking about. Typical Oliver.

“You know... Magnus.”

“Why not? That’s all up to you.”

I nodded. “Thanks for listening, Oliver. I appreciate it. You really helped me figure out some really confusing things.”

He patted my hand. “Life is confusing. I get it. Half the time I don’t know if I’m coming or going.”

I had to laugh. “You’re great, Oliver. You really are. Thanks for everything.”

“Anytime, my dear.” He stood up then and said, “Care to join me for lunch? Kat is making a salad. She promises that it’ll be the most delicious salad known to man. It’s probably just going to be lettuce and tomatoes, but I’m determined to pretend it’s delicious and exotic.”

My first inclination was to say no, but I thought better of it. “Why not? Lead the way.”

The next day, I drove to the studio where the final episode of Brain Pain’s charity event was supposed to be filmed. Oliver had insisted I use one of the cars in his garage. There had been at least five of them, and so I had selected the smallest and least expensive. A Mercedes SUV. I felt so pretentious as I handed the keys to the valet.

Inside, the set was just as busy as before. The host looked calm and relaxed sitting in a lounge chair watching the chaos unfold.

The production assistant Celeste saw me and came right toward me. “It’s about time you got here. Where’s your partner?”

“I don't know. He’s normally early. I’m not sure where he is.”

“Aren’t you guys a couple?”

“What? No.”

“Oh. You two act like a couple, I figured that you were together. Well, you know what they say about assumptions....” She let her voice trail off as she led me to my spot.

Dr. Joseph was there with her partner. They were exactly where they needed to be. Only Magnus was missing. I started getting nervous. Maybe he wouldn’t show up. Maybe he hated me so much for how I’d treated him that he was just going to throw the championship.

All those thoughts and more passed through my head before I squashed them. No, Magnus wouldn’t do that. No matter how much I messed up, he wasn’t selfish. He wouldn’t jeopardize Ophelia’s Angels’ chance at a million dollars. Magnus was too good a guy to do that.

The production team was giving me a hard time and now people were making phone calls when suddenly Magnus showed up with his personal assistant trailing behind. “He’s here. Let’s get started,” said the personal assistant breathlessly.

“Where were you?” I immediately asked.

He ignored me. “Why does it matter to you?”

“You’re my partner,” I said. “You matter to me.”

He didn’t answer me. He just ignored me. I figured I deserved that.

And then, we were on. “Welcome back to Brain Pain. And if you’re just joining us. We have with us our four finalists from last week’s episode, Magnus and Lesli from Ophelia’s Angels and Alexandra and Pete from Cycle Psychos. Alexandra and Pete, what would winning today mean to you?”

Pete talked about the bicycles that the organization refurbished and distributed to poverty-stricken women, men, and children around the world at low to no cost. It was then our turn and we answered the same question.

I answered for our team, saying, “Ophelia’s Angels’ mission is to provide the elderly with necessities such as food, water, and medication. We would like to expand to every country in the world. By winning today, we can make that happen.”

The audience clapped politely and then it was time for the game. We all went to stand at our places in front of the huge glowing buttons that said Brain or Pain.

“It’s that time to choose and since Alexandra and Lesli chose last time. We’re going to let Pete and Magnus choose this time. So, fellas, what will it be? Will it be pain or brain?”

Magnus without a thought stepped forward. Pete followed, and they were in agreement. They chose Brain.

Apparently, they were nicer than us women.

“And it’s time for the brain challenges. Ladies, you’re up!”

Magnus and Pete watched from the audience while Dr. Alexandra Joseph and I answered question after question. We were tied by the end of the round. I was just excited that I’d been able to keep up with her.

I said as much to her when we stopped for a commercial break.

She laughed. “Why are you surprised? You were light years ahead of me when you were just a teenager. It was me who was trying to keep up with you during that brain round.”

“You remember me?” I couldn’t believe it.

She smiled. “Of course, I remember you. You were one of the smartest young ladies I’ve ever had the pleasure to teach. And I’m happy to see you developed so much grit and confidence over the years. You’ve grown up to be quite a force to reckon with, but then again, I always knew you would be.”

Before I could say another word, the commercial break was over and our partners were taking our places.

“Good luck,” I said to Magnus, and he just grunted. Yeah, he hated me. My hurt heart at the idea, but could I really blame him?

I turned around to look at the audience, some of them had large handwritten signs in their hands that supported various charities, or the signs were hello to the host. Many read, “Good luck, Ophelia’s Angels!” and one even read, “Magnus Deacon, you’re hot!” I laughed, wondering if Magnus had seen that sign yet and suddenly I had a very, very good idea. Dr. Joseph had said I had been a force to reckon with. And I was going to prove her right.

I signaled for the production assistant Celeste and asked her for exactly what I needed. She looked at me as if I were crazy, but I put my hands together and begged her. “Pretty please, Celeste.”

She grudgingly went away and came back with a black marker and a huge piece of paper that was about half the size of my body. I gave her a big smile and got to work.

As big as I could, I wrote exactly how I felt. Then, I positioned myself near the middle of the audience, right in Magnus’s line of vision.

He was in the middle of answering a question when he caught sight of my sign. He frowned, missed the question and Pete answered it instead.

It lost us the lead and I started to regret my sign, but I saw the unmistakable smile on Magnus’s face as his eyes met mine.

He took his eyes off mine and focused on the next question and to my surprise, he got question after question right. And finally they were tied, but the end of the game was nearing.

“With only ten seconds left in the game, now it’s time for the bonus round,” said the host. “Winner takes all.”

Silence descended over the audience. “Magnus, Pete, the first person to answer this question correctly wins the game. Are you ready?”

The hush over the crowd was deafening and the tension that filled the building was unreal. No wonder Brain Pain was so popular. The drama was more than I could bear.

And finally, the last question was read: “What is the capital of Uzbekistan? Is it Buenos Aires, Tashkent, or Bukhara?”

I knew this one and it took so much self-control not to scream it out.

Both guys hit their buttons at the same time it seemed, but according to the host, Magnus had been faster.

“Is it Bukhara?” he said with a smile, totally confident.

I slowly let my breath out as I sunk into my chair.

“Sorry, Magnus, you’re wrong. Pete, you have the opportunity now to win the million dollars for your charity if you can tell us the correct answer.”

Pete smiled, looking just as confident as Magnus did a minute ago.

“Is it Tashkent?”

The host took a deep breath and then yelled, “Congratulations to our winners, the Cycle Psychos!”

I clapped politely, but felt terrible for Magnus and more so for Ophelia’s Angels. I was sorry it had come to this. We had failed.

I saw Magnus hug Dr. Joseph and shake Pete’s hand. The host said goodbye to the audience and then Magnus made his way to me.

I was suddenly nervous, and I wanted to hide behind my sign. Speaking of which, he stopped in front of me and reached for my sign.

“Nice sign. It was very inspirational.”

“Not inspirational enough. It distracted you, otherwise, you would have easily won.”

He shrugged. “It’s not every day that a woman tells you that she loves you in front of a live studio audience.”

I looked down at my sign, written from the heart. It simply read, “I love you, Magnus.” He pulled the sign out of my hand and pulled me toward him.

Nervously I licked my lips and said, “I’m sorry you lost.”

He pulled me closer to him, wrapping me in his arms. “I didn’t lose today. As far as I’m concerned, because I have you in my arms, I won.” And with that, with the production assistants and stragglers from the audience still remaining, he leaned down and kissed me and what followed was deafening applause.