“Are you leaving me, Tommy?” I tried to keep the fear from my voice as I addressed my husband of five years. He looked so serene, so calm as he told me the words I thought I would never hear. He simply didn’t want me anymore. I shook my head wondering how that could possibly be. I had given so much to him, to our relationship. I had given up so much for him, as well. How could he not love me? I had done everything in my power to become exactly the woman he wanted me to be. How was that not good enough?

He didn’t answer at first and then slowly his eyes met mine, “I’m sorry, Bree.” I didn’t say a word for a moment. I just stared blankly into his green eyes that I remembered thinking were so beautiful at one point in time. I’d thought for so many years that when he looked at me, those eyes showed an expression of love. However, now they just showed emotional exhaustion and indifference. He was tired of me. Apparently, he was done being with me. My heart started racing quickly and I tried in vain to breathe deeply in and out, while my brain raced in pace with my heart trying to come up with a way to stop my current reality. I felt as if I were having a panic attack.

“What did I do wrong? What’s going on? Tell me and I’ll change it. You can’t just throw our marriage down the drain.” I know I sounded desperate, but I felt desperate. After all, Tommy was the only family I’d ever known.

He shook his head and looked elsewhere, not wanting to meet my eyes. “I should leave.”

“Leave?” I said startled as if he hadn’t already told me that was his intention. “Where are you going?”

We were in the living room of our spacious townhouse that Tommy had bought only last year. We had agreed to move out of our luxury condo in order to start a family. The townhouse was located in an exclusive neighborhood and the school district was one of the best in the state. Not that it mattered now, I thought bitterly. Apparently that wasn’t going to be my life anymore. I was no longer going to be his wife, let alone the mother of his children. I struggled to keep my emotions in check and pushed that thought aside as tears began to pool in my eyes.

“Out. I’m going out. I think you need some space. It’ll give you time to process everything without worrying about my presence.”

“But that’s just it, Tommy. I do want to worry about your presence. I don’t want to lose this. I don’t want to lose us,” I said grabbing his arm.

“Bree---” And it was then that I knew it was really over. His voice had grown cold. He was done with this conversation. I’d heard him use that same tone before when he was firing a manager over the phone. He was done with me.

“I’m seeing someone else. It’s pretty serious. I’m sorry to tell you this way.”

I slowly released my grip on his arm. I hadn’t been expecting that. I had definitely not been expecting that. I went from desperate to angry in the matter of milliseconds. I had never been angrier in my life.

“Who is she?”

He stood up and said dismissively, “Why does it matter?”

“Who is she, Tommy?”

“Stop punishing yourself---”

“Keep that pop-psychology bull to yourself and tell me who she is,” I shouted, my voice shaking in fury.

“Bree---”

“Who is she, goddamit?!” I said now screaming at him so loudly that my throat hurt. I got up from the table, unable to stay seated, too angry and aggravated to sit with my hands folded and pretend to be the perfect wife. I had done that for years. I had been exactly what he asked me to be. And this was my reward?

As he gave me a look of pity, he straightened his shoulders and walked away from me. I didn’t say a word. I was too focused on thinking of the past as I watched Tommy walk away with my future. I had met Tommy when I worked as a cashier at a local grocery store and he was a manager. I had been on my own for a while since I was no longer a ward of the state having grown up bouncing from one foster care to another. So needless to say, I had been flattered by his undivided attention. He was older and I had found him to be charming and handsome. I felt he was out of my league and was surprised when he pursued me. He had been romantic, attentive and as he moved up in the company going from assistant manager, to district and then regional manager, his salary had increased and so had his sense of entitlement. I had struggled to keep up with all the lifestyle changes: the fancy cars, the fancier friends. But, I had thought, I had managed pretty well. But as he walked out of the door, I realized that I was wrong. Apparently I had failed. And now my husband was walking out of the door and out of my life. I was alone again.