I slipped on a pair of jeans and found them to be too uncomfortable around my waist. I rolled my eyes, annoyed that I would now have to rethink my choice of clothing. The worst part is that I had already changed four times in the past hour and I was supposed to meet Phoenix within the next ten minutes.

I poked at the pudge that seemed to have shown up from nowhere. I had always been super skinny and now my flat belly wasn’t so flat anymore. I figured all the late nights sitting up eating ice cream while doing homework was finally starting to show. I always had such a great metabolism I thought to myself mournfully, now I would actually have to work out. And maybe give up ice cream. The mere idea made me depressed.

I looked through my clothes and found a simple cotton romper. It was a more conservative choice than I wanted to wear, but it was pretty in a simple feminine way and it showed off my legs. It was white with soft pink flowers dotting the fabric. It wasn’t an overpowering floral and as I turned in the mirror, I admired the way it made my already long legs seem even longer as I slid on a pair of heels.

I then added a hint of red lipstick, pushed my dark black curls away from my face and let them hang loosely around my shoulder and winked at myself, my green eyes sparkling in excitement. I was going on a real date with a man who desired me as much as I desired him. Post-divorce life was treating me very well.

I heard a knock at my door and sauntered over while spraying myself down with perfume. I regretted it instantly, knowing that maybe Phoenix could possibly be allergic to it as many people were and not wanting to spend the whole night with a date who sneezed every other second or worse, couldn’t even breathe in my presence.

Hoping for the best, I opened the door and gasped, “Wow.”

Phoenix smiled at me, looking handsome in black dress pants and a black dress shirt that was covered by a black vest which he wore with a black tie. He had pushed the sleeves up around his elbows and I was again reminded of how well defined and sculpted his body was.

He handed me the flowers he held in one hand, a bouquet of red roses and I smiled at him gratefully. “You smell wonderful,” he said as I took them and I smiled.

“I’m glad you like it. I thought it was a bit overwhelming.”

“No just perfect. Strong enough for me to smell it, but not strong enough for me to resist doing this,” he then bent down towards me rubbing his nose against the delicate skin of my neck, placing little kisses there and then down towards my collar bone. He walked me backwards towards the wall and once he had me pinned there, he raised my hands above my head and started to kiss me. He was gentle at first and then he became greedy, taking what he wanted, bruising my sensitive lips with his heated kisses. I purred against them, letting my hips raise up to cup the warmth of his crotch and he pressed his knee between my legs then and I shamelessly begin to ride his knee, rubbing my sex up and back against his leg as he devoured me. And then abruptly he stopped kissing me and pulled away, leaving me gasping as he pressed his forehead against mine, his breathing shallow resembling my own.

“Apparently you like my perfume a lot,” I joked when I could finally speak.

He laughed harshly, kissed me on the mouth and said, “That’s not the only thing I like. Let’s get out of here before I take you straight to bed.”

I gave him what I assumed was a suggestive look, “That’s not such a bad idea.”

“Don’t tempt me, woman…”

I daringly trailed my hand across his still erect flesh, which I could clearly feel through his pants and he grabbed my hand.

“I thought you were a good girl.”

“You fucked me in an alley.” I said looking at him as if saying: How could you forget?

“And even then I knew you were out of your element...”

I placed my hands on my hips, “Are you saying you didn’t enjoy yourself? Was I not experienced enough for you?” I challenged him.

“Are you kidding me? You were THE experience of a lifetime, but I have other things planned for tonight. You deserve more than a quickie or another unintentional one-night stand.”

For the first time, something stirred in me when I looked at Phoenix that wasn’t sexual in nature. I thought our relationship was going to be mostly about sex and I had accepted that, even welcomed that. But it seemed that this fighter wanted more and that excited me, but scared me too.

I didn’t know how to feel. So instead of over-analyzing it, I took his hand and let him escort me out of my apartment and then down the stairs. He walked me to his car which I was delighted to see was a sports car and I climbed in when he opened the door for me.

“You look beautiful. Did I already tell you that?” He said to me, breaking the comfortable silence that we had fallen into as he drove.

“Maybe, but I won’t grow tired of hearing it.”

He grabbed my hand and placed it to his lips. “Good, because I won’t get tired of saying it.”

I looked at him then, really looked at him and admired how the glow of the moon highlighted his strong jaw. His nose clearly had been broken a time or two and scars I realized covered his arms coupled with the tattoos. The man sitting next to me was the polar opposite of Tommy and I couldn’t be happier about that. In fact, I made a mental note to send Tommy a Christmas card to show him how much I appreciated the divorce.

We eventually arrived at the restaurant and I was surprised to see the expensive restaurant he had chosen for our dinner. It served wild game such as antelope and bison and I was instantly curious.

As we waited for our entrees, we talked about our past. I didn’t want to dwell on my divorce so I said very little about it. Instead I talked about school and he seemed impressed that I was studying accounting at the local community college, hoping one day to become a CPA.

“Not many people would have done what you did. He knocked you down and you just got back up and kept on moving. That’s admirable.”

“That’s called survival.”

He nodded, “I know a lot about that. I grew up in a rough area of Miami. Who am I kidding? Almost all Miami is rough.” He said with a humorless laugh. “I spent most of my youth fighting and getting in trouble, kicked out of one school and then the next.”

“So you were a troubled kid?”

“Nope, I was just a kid who liked to get in trouble,” his laugh then was real. “I was a hell raiser. My grandma adopted me after my parents died in a car accident and I was just so bitter; I took my pain out on everyone else--including her. I never was violent or anything towards her, but I did stupid things. I stole her car once and almost wrecked it. I was disrespectful and an all-round jerk as a kid.”

“You stole her car? How old were you?”

He drank a sip of water before saying, “Don’t judge me too harshly, but I was sixteen and an asshole.”

“You were sixteen.” I said dismissively, feeling compassion for the sixteen year old boy Phoenix had been struggling with coming to terms with his parents’ deaths.

“And knew better...” he argued.

“Well, I’m sure your grandmother forgave you.”

He smiled widely, “Yeah, she’s the best. She just got back from vacation in Jamaica, which I gladly paid for. So what about your childhood and your parents?”

I shook my head, “I never knew them. I was given up for adoption to a friend of my mom’s and then that person couldn’t afford to take care of me and she just dumped me at a fire station and left. I had to have been about five. I don’t remember much else, but I was in and out of foster care since then. They never could find my birth parents or any relatives.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said and I could tell that he was.

I shrugged, “Life sucks sometimes, but you just keep moving forward, just like you said.”

He didn’t get a chance to say anything else as our food arrived. The waiter sat a bison chili dish in front of me and I inhaled deeply my mouth watering when abruptly the aroma that I’d fantasized about mere seconds ago made me violently sick.

My stomach cramped up and the wave of nausea that hit me had me falling off balance as I struggled to stand and flee. I grabbed that table to keep steady and stood up abruptly. I braced my hands against the edge of the table and then Phoenix’s hands were on mine.

“Careful, Bree. What’s going on?”

I looked at him, batted his hand away and sprinted for the bathrooms that I had noticed on the way in. I made it to the toilet just in time. I didn’t know how long I stayed there being sick. If I had been at home, I would have been hugging the toilet seat. And when it was all done, I felt strangely better.

No more bison for you, I said to myself as I flushed the toilet, picked myself off the floor and went to tidy myself and wash my mouth out at the sink. I shook my head, not knowing what was wrong with me when a thought buried far back in my subconscious wiggled free.

I was late, I thought turning white as a sheet. I counted on my fingers. I hadn’t had a period in two months and I was extremely regular unless under stress. I just thought it was school related stress, but I had missed two in a row. And it all coincided with the evening I met Phoenix. With those thoughts on my mind, I realized that I couldn’t face him right now, but I didn’t have another choice. I couldn’t just disappear from the restaurant without him noticing. And it wasn’t like I could take a taxi home or something given that I had left my purse at the table. Like it or not, I would have to go back to face him. I just needed to keep my mouth closed and not tell him my suspicions.

I patted water on my face, squared my shoulders and walked calmly out of the bathroom and into Phoenix.

“What happened?” He demanded.

“Calm down,” I said getting already defensive. “The bison just didn’t agree with me.”

“You didn’t even take a bite of it.”

“The smell just wasn’t appealing.”

“And so you threw up? Has this happened before?”

“No. But then again I never had bison before. Listen, I don’t want to discuss this any longer. Can we go?”

He looked at me long and hard and then said, “Let me go pay and grab your purse.”

“I’ll wait for you outside. Feels stuffy in here.”

He reluctantly walked away from me, striding purposefully across the elegant dining room lined with chandeliers and I did as I said and walked outside.

I breathed in deeply and then my nostrils were assaulted by the scent of garlic and onions. I gagged and covered my nose with my sleeve and that’s how Phoenix found me with my shoulders hunched, hiding my nose and mouth in my romper.

He looked at me strangely, called for the valet and then got into the car. My stomach finally stopped protesting when we began to drive.

I sat silently, trying to maintain composure even though my stomach and mind were doing tricks of their own. Phoenix kept his eyes trained on the road and didn’t say a word. Every now and then he snuck a look at me and I pretended to be looking elsewhere; normally my default way to avoid his eyes was to look down at my hands.

Finally we pulled into the parking lot and I was feeling close to normal again. I gave him a hesitant smile, hoping he didn’t suspect anything. But he was a man, what could he possibly suspect?

“Sorry for ruining the evening with my queasy stomach.”

He didn’t respond. He just continued to sit there with his hands still on the wheel. I dared to look at his face and his jaw seemed tense as if he were holding something back. I gulped hard and without a word reached for the door handle.

His hand shot out and stopped me.

“When were you going to tell me?” He asked coldly.

I stared at him. He couldn’t possibly know? I didn’t really even know.

“Tell you what?” I asked innocently.

“Don’t play innocent, Bree. I didn’t use protection that night in the alley. You can’t look at certain foods without feeling sick to your stomach. You threw up in the bathroom. Just don’t sit there and lie to me. You know what’s going on.”

I felt attacked and immediately went on the defensive, “It’s none of your business. And you’re way off base. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Goodnight.”

And then as I went to open the door, he stopped me again and turned the car back on. He drove like a madman out of the parking lot.

“Where are we going? Where are you taking me?” I asked actually afraid of the answer.

He ignored me and promptly pulled into a pharmacy. “Stay here,” he ordered as he jogged away towards the entrance of the 24-hour pharmacy.

I knew what he was getting and I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me right then and there. I knew that wasn’t an option nor was running away, but gosh I wanted to. I would just tell him that he was crazy and not do it, I said to myself. Yes, I would stand up to Phoenix and tell him that he was being silly and that we needed to take a break from each other even if we hadn’t exactly finished our first date.

But apparently that’s not what happened and instead I found myself in my apartment in the bathroom, peeing on a stick while Phoenix waited on the couch arms crossed again, face expressionless. He had been super pushy, shoving the box into my hand and gently pushing me into the bathroom while I shouted at him that this was stupid and he was jumping to conclusions.

Frankly, I was just scared that he wasn’t. What if he were right? What if I were pregnant? Part of me became excited about the idea and the other part of me just hoped I was stronger than my parents. I wouldn’t give my child away. I knew that. If the test was positive I would love that child more than anything. I was just afraid being a bad parent could be genetic.

And when I saw the faint line grow stronger I nearly fainted, catching myself up against the bathroom door.

“Are you okay, Bree?” Phoenix said from the opposite side, now knocking gently on the door.

I looked down at the test and then shook my head. He couldn’t see me, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t okay. I was scared to death and beaming with joy. I was far from just okay.

He knocked again and when I didn’t answer, he tried to knob. Thankfully, I had locked it.

“Bree, open the door. We need to talk.”

I knew he was right and so with a deep breath, I unlocked the door and stepped out.

I didn’t meet his eyes until he said, “Well?”

Fostering all the courage I had, I lifted the little plastic stick so that he could see the results and said, “Congratulations, you’re a father.”