“I can’t believe I’m wearing these,” Emmaline said as she pulled on the edges of her shorts. They were super short. I was surprised that her butt managed to stay in them.

“They’re hot pants. They’re supposed to be short,” Misha responded as she shifted uncomfortably in her shoes.

“I feel like my privates can’t breathe.”

“They’re not supposed to feel comfortable,” Misha said again, “They’re supposed to be sexy. Stop complaining.”

Misha then started yanking at the fabric of her dress which kept riding up her thighs. “This stupid dress won’t stay down.”

“Oh, so it’s alright for you to complain, but not me. Point taken,” Emmaline said as she fought with her shorts.

“Ladies, ladies, let’s not fight,” Lacey said, stepping around the car. We all looked at her and couldn’t help but laugh. Ever since she had shown up dressed like a member of the Bee Gees from the seventies, we couldn’t keep it together.

She had on a curly blonde wig, tight bell-bottom pants and a shiny, blue metallic shirt. She was also about six inches taller since she was wearing platform heels.

“My feet already hurt,” she complained. “You guys are lucky you’re wearing go-go boots.”

“Yes, I’m lucky that my feet are covered, but my butt might fall out any time.”

“Well, if it falls out, I’ll tell you,” Lacey said, clearly tired of the complaining.

Emmaline was Lacey’s other best friend whom she’d met in college. Emmaline, Misha, and Lacey were a dynamic trio and closer than most sisters I knew.

I adored them and seeing them all bicker with each other brought back fond memories.

“It would be a fun break from the kids, you’d said,” complained Misha.

“It’s going to be so fun, you’d said,” complained Emmaline.

“And instead we look like very old and very unsuccessful prostitutes,” finished Misha, finally giving up on tugging her skirt down. I directed my eyes away. She was dangerously close to flashing everyone.

Lacey tossed her hands up. “Well, this is what happens when you don’t go with me to pick out your costumes. I gave you guys a chance and you were all like, ‘Just pick whatever, Lacey,’” she said in a whiny tone. “So I picked whatever.”

“As punishment—” Misha said.

“You know, I don’t like your tone. I’m giving all of you a break from suburbia and this is how you thank me?”

“I thought you were going to get me a fairy costume?” Emmaline whined.

“Yeah, and I thought I was going to be Gene Simmons from Kiss,” Misha said, folding her arms over her chest, which made her dress rise a tiny bit more. Yep, she was wearing polka dot panties, and by the end of the night everyone in the building would know it.

“You guys. It’s a seventies themed party. None of those costumes would have made sense.”

There was more grumbling of unhappiness when suddenly Lacey stomped her foot, making me laugh, and said, “Listen, we’re not here for us. We’re here to provide some moral support. Ok. Is that clear?”

Emmaline, Misha, and I looked at each other and then back at Lacey. “What are you talking about? Moral support for who?”

Lacey pointed at me. “For Lesli. Do you guys just tune out when I talk or something? I mean this is ridiculous.”

“What? Why do I need moral support? What are you even talking about?” I was totally caught off guard. I felt like I spent nearly every day since leaving West Virginia caught off guard in some way or form.

“Because your best friend, you know, Violet, is dating your man!” Lacey said in disbelief as if she couldn’t understand why I wasn’t more upset.

“What?” Misha growled. She looked ready to fight someone.

“Seriously? What kind of friend is she?” Emmaline added. “Stealing your man!”

“I never trusted Violet, what a bi—” Misha didn’t even know Violet.

I put my hands in the air and cut off Misha before she could continue. “Don’t say it. Because she’s not a you-know-what. She asked me if I would mind if she dated Magnus and I don’t. I really, really don’t. I mean, I didn’t at the time. But whatever, it’s my own fault. So all this—” I began gesturing to the three of them in costume. “Is unnecessary. I’m fine. The situation is under control, ok? It’s fine.”

“She’s in denial,” Emmaline said, shaking her head.

“I’m not in denial,” I protested.

“No. You are, but don’t worry,” Lacey said, looking at me as if she pitied me. “We’re all here for you.”

I shook my head. “Seriously guys, I’m fine.”

But I wasn’t fine. I was far from it. I wasn’t ok with Violet dating Magnus or Magnus dating Violet. I was just pretending that I was when actually it tore me up inside.

I thought being on friendly terms with Magnus would make the hurt go away, but it hadn’t. As I’d promised that day after our first Brain Pain challenge, I’d answered his call. And every day for the past week, we’d talked. Some days we talked so long, I fell asleep on the phone. We were behaving like infatuated teenagers, talking to each other until the break of dawn most evenings. It would have been romantic if it weren’t for the fact our conversations never strayed to that zone. We were strictly friends and I was careful to keep it that way. After all, Magnus was still dating Violet. I didn’t want to betray my friend even though I sort of was by having an emotional affair with the man she was dating.

But just talking to Magnus made me feel more alive than anything else. We talked about the most ridiculous subjects and I learned so much about him. We talked about aliens and pseudo-anthropology. We talked about old sci-fi TV shows and our favorite characters. For two people who’d grown up in two very different worlds, we had a lot in common. And I felt it was fate that we met. Which was silly, because I didn’t believe in fate until I’d realized I was in love with Magnus.

“You’re too good for Magnus anyway. His loss, not yours,” Lacey said suddenly.

“Really? A few weeks ago you were saying he was such a good catch.”

“I’m running on two hours of sleep most days, so just ignore everything I say.” Lacey turned to the others. “Ok. It’s time to put Operation Magnus into action.”

There were a few half-hearted cheers from Emmaline and Misha who were still trying to adjust their clothing but to no effect. The costumes were garish and there was no getting around it.

“You guys...” Lacey said, her voice dropping in warning that she was getting angry.

“What?”

“Operation Magnus,” she snapped.

“What’s Operation Magnus? I thought this was just a girls’ night out.”

“Yeah, I just wanted to eat ice cream at your place and watch Netflix uninterrupted.”

“We’re supposed to infiltrate the party, find Magnus, tell him he’s making a big mistake, and then lock Violet out of the room so Magnus and Lesli can reconcile.”

“What? That’s a terrible plan.” Misha was the abrupt one. She always spoke her mind. I think it was the tough city girl upbringing that made her that way.

Emmaline, the ever-practical friend, shook her head. “You’ve been watching too many romantic comedies.”

“What? No, I haven’t. I mean... they’re on late at night when I’m up with the baby...” She paused and said, “Oh God, look at us. You’re right. I think I saw this in a romantic comedy. I’m officially losing my mind.”

Lacey looked sadly down at her outfit.

“Yes, you’re totally losing your mind,” Misha said. “But let’s not ruin the night. Erik is home with the kids tonight so I’m making the most of it. I might actually have a few drinks.”

“Me too,” Emmaline said, finally leaving her shorts alone.

“But first ladies, I need some jeans... I can’t flash people all night. I do have some standards.”

“I have a pair of sweats in the backseat. Hold on.”

Lacey started rummaging through her backseat, tossing various baby items out of the way as she did. With much fanfare, she pulled the sweatpants from the back of her car. “Ta-da!”

“You’re the best,” Misha said, snatching them from her hands. She put them on quickly and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Nice look... It has that whole stay-at-home mom meets—”

“1970s prostitute?”

We all began to laugh and I was happy for the light-hearted moment until a limousine pulled up to the curb. I instantly recognized who it belonged to. After all, there was only one like it in the country, maybe the world, even.

The driver came around and opened the door as we all watched. As I figured, Violet stumbled out in go-go boots, white hot pants and a cropped sheer, white top. She saw us and gave us a wave and started approaching us. She looked fantastic, of course. I looked like Velma from Scooby Doo in comparison.

“Love the costumes, ladies,” she said. She frowned when she saw Misha. “What’s up with the sweatpants? Get rid of them and show some legs.”

“No, thanks. I don’t want to catch a cold or something.”

Violet laughed. “That’s something my grandma would say. No offense—”

“No offense taken,” Misha said with a tight smile. I was surprised Misha was able to control herself. Clearly, she was offended by Violet’s comment, but she’d managed to restrain herself. Having children had apparently mellowed her.

I noticed then that Magnus didn’t get out.

“Didn’t Magnus come with you?” I asked, unable to help myself.

“Oh, he’s showing up later. He had some business to take care of. He’s kind of a bore. Always working. I thought dating a billionaire would be much more exciting, but it’s been pretty much boredom after boredom. I had to practically beg him to come to this party.” She shook her head. “Sad, isn’t it?”

“Tragic,” I muttered.

“Anyway, let’s go get this party started! Wooohooo!”

We cheered too, with about a quarter of her enthusiasm, and then headed up the steps into the community center where the party was being held. It was a party held every year by a nonprofit who provided leadership training to other nonprofits in the city. Every year, various nonprofits in the area gathered for the party. It was the perfect networking event and the shindig attracted quite a few newscasters and famous people. Apparently, everyone wanted to be seen giving back to a good cause. Tickets weren’t cheap. All employees for the nonprofits got in free, but everyone else paid a whopping $100 per plate. The proceeds were then awarded by a vote to the nonprofit deemed most deserving. I hoped Ophelia’s Angels won, but I was biased. I loved working there.

The music was loud and pumping. To my surprise, there were already people on the dance floor, busting moves to seventies hits. Maya was there in full seventies dress, complete with crutches, and she instantly pulled me on the dance floor as soon as she saw me. She started dancing around me, yelling out, “Go, Lesli! Gom Lesli! Go, go, go, Lesli!” And soon a circle had formed around us with other people cheering me on. I looked to Lacey, Emmaline, or Misha to save me, but they were all at the bar. Then Violet joined us and the three of us jiggled and wiggled around. I found myself laughing and actually having a good time.

I thought about how just a few weeks ago, I probably would have run from the dance floor, but now I was busting a move, badly, but I was having fun. Finally, the song ended. Maya high-fived me and went off with Violet to get a drink.

“Tearing up this dance floor has got me crazy thirsty,” Maya said and Violet concurred. As I’d known they would, they’d gotten along instantly. They were so much alike, it was either they would get along great or hate each other. I was glad it was the former and not the latter.

As they walked away, I looked around, wondering if Magnus was there yet. From my position on the dance floor, I could easily see the entrance and exits. Magnus and I hadn’t discussed the party the other day on the phone. We had just talked about his family and how his parents were finally reconciling after over a decade of not even speaking with each other. I was happy for him and wondered if it were family business or actual business that was making him run late today.

I tried to focus on the party instead of Magnus’s appearance. There were a ton of older people there, shaking it to music I hadn’t heard since my youth. Mom had been a huge fan of music from the seventies. I was glad so many members of the community had shown up to support such a great cause.

I slinked away toward the side of the room as the dance floor began to fill up again. It was then that I saw him, and he instantly saw me too.

He made a beeline straight across the dance floor, smiling as he headed toward me. A couple twirling to a song being played by the DJ ran into Magnus, but he seemed to barely notice as he made his way to me. I watched him watching me. My whole body responded to his presence. I shyly looked his way as goosebumps appeared on my bare arms.

Finally, he was standing in front of me and I wanted to wrap myself in his arms in greeting. It took every fiber of my being not to.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“I—”

“You—”

We both started talking at the same time and then laughed. “You first,” I said, still smiling. He looked so handsome even though he was wearing a white leisure suit that looked like something John Travolta wore in Saturday Night Fever. The movie had come out way before my time, but my mother loved John Travolta so I’d been commanded to watch all of his movies.

“You look great,” he said to me. He then let his eyes scan my body. It was brief and discrete, but enough to make me feel flushed. I was wearing hot pants too and a cropped top. Thankfully, my shorts actually covered my bottom.

I blushed and said, “You look very John Travolta-ish.”

He raised a brow and said, “Thanks. I think.”

“You just look... gorgeous. The seventies suits you.”

“The clothes, not the era,” I said. I couldn’t help myself. I was a history major after all.

“So do you want me to get you a drink or something?”

“Or something,” I said facetiously. And then without thinking I reached my hand out to his and he took it. At that very moment, I saw Violet coming toward us. I guiltily removed my hand from his and opened my mouth to apologize. I know she saw us, but she seemed unconcerned as she made her way to us.

“Magnus! There you are! Come on, Channel Seven is here. Let’s get a picture. I’ll bring him right back, Lesli. I promise.” And just like that, Violet whisked him off.

I wondered about her last comment, about bringing him back to me. Did she know that I was secretly interested in him? Or maybe it wasn’t all that secret. She did just catch me holding hands with him. I didn’t know what I’d been thinking. The only excuse I could give myself was that it was becoming harder and harder to keep my feelings in check when Magnus was around. I didn’t know what to do from here, but I decided then and there to stop being afraid of how I felt. I vowed to tell Magnus by the end of the evening how I felt and I’d also have to tell Violet. My shoulders filled with tension again and my stomach did somersaults at the idea of how my words would hurt her, but I knew I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I couldn’t hide how I really felt from the world, not to mention from a friend.

I caught up with Misha, Emmaline, and Lacey. They’d been staring in my direction and when I approached, they tried to appear nonchalant. They didn’t say a word but their silence spoke volumes.

“What?” I said with a hint of annoyance.

“You and Magnus seemed awfully cozy until Violet showed up.”

“We’re just friends.”

“Friends don’t stare into each other’s eyes and hold hands,” Emmaline said matter-of-factly as she helped herself to another flute of champagne as a waiter made his rounds.

I followed her lead and helped myself to one too. I needed a little liquid courage for what I planned to do tonight.

And then I thought to myself, maybe I needed to practice saying it out loud.

“You guys,” I said taking a deep breath. “I’m in love with Magnus.”

“I knew it,” Lacey said.

“You need to tell him,” Emmaline immediately added to the conversation. “From what Lacey’s told us, he just started dating Violet, but you don’t want things to progress too far along before telling him how you feel.”

“So true,” Misha said nodding. “Tell him how you feel and then rip his clothes off and have dirty sex with him in his limo. It’s what I would do.”

I giggled. “I’ll definitely consider it.”

“You do that,” she agreed before waving to someone behind us. “Oliver and Grandma are here!”

“He made it,” Lacey said as we moved as a group toward them. On his arm was Kat, Misha’s grandmother.

We all hugged and fussed over each other.

“Welcome back! How was the vacation?” I asked.

“Great. Wonderful,” Kat said.

“But I was ready to come home,” Oliver said. “This old body isn’t what it used to be. Kat, here,” he said kissing her forehead. “Now, she could have stayed in Greece. You should have seen her, dancing on tables in the Greek isles.”

Kat laughed. “I had a grand time. But I missed my apartment.”

Oliver sighed. “I took her to the fanciest hotels money could buy, but this one wanted to experience hostels. I stayed at a hostel for this woman. I had to share a bathroom with strangers. It was almost inhumane.” His tone was incredulous, which made the rest of us laugh.

Kat pinched the tip of his nose, in a very cute, affectionate manner, and said, “Oh, hush. You loved every minute of it.”

“Only because I was with you...”

“You’re too sweet.” They shared a brief kiss.

“Ok, ok, get a room,” Misha said, making a face.

“I might be your grandma but I’m also a sensual, hot-blooded woman with needs—”

Misha held her hands up and said, “Alright, alright. I get it. Ok. Cool. Whatever. Let’s change the subject. Lesli’s in love with Magnus.”

I opened my mouth, closed it and then opened it again. “Thanks for telling the world, Misha.”

“I knew love was in the air!” Oliver said giddily. “I’m so happy for you. Magnus is a great guy. Hard worker. You know he single-handedly rebuilt his family’s wealth. His mom, Jenny, gave away the entire family fortune to some charlatan in Sri Lanka, I think it was.” He shrugged. “But Magnus didn’t feel entitled to her wealth like his father did. He couldn’t have cared less, but his dad was always looking for a handout. I sort of got the feeling that’s why he married Jenny. They never really had much in common. Anyway, Magnus made it his mission to build back the family fortune. Been working hard at it for nearly a decade. I have nothing but good things to say about him. You chose a real winner, Lesli.”

I knew he was right. Magnus was a great guy. I wouldn’t have fallen for him if he wasn’t.

“So are you guys going to tie the knot?” Oliver asked.

“Woah, hold on Oliver,” Lacey said. “He doesn’t even know how she feels yet.”

He looked at me in confusion. “But why?”

“It’s a long story, Oliver, and he kind of has a girlfriend—”

“What?” Now he was frowning.

I filled them all in, leaving out any X-rated parts.

“Wow, the situation does sound pretty complicated,” Kat said, looking concerned.

“It is.” I felt forlorn suddenly. Why had I let things spiral out of control? If I hadn’t been so stubborn and insecure, my relationship with Magnus would have progressed like all other normal people, but nooo, I had to make things difficult.

I was trying to find something to say when suddenly the music came to a sudden stop and we all turned in the direction of the DJ who was looking a little bit afraid. Standing next to him, waving a microphone threateningly at the security guards was a familiar looking man. I just couldn’t place him. He was young, tall, blonde.

And then it hit me. “That’s Violet’s boyfriend!”

“Violet’s dating Magnus and has a boyfriend. How does she find the time?” Kat wondered out loud.

“I mean ex. That’s her ex-boyfriend.”

“What’s he doing here? And why is he fighting the security guard over the microphone?”

“Leave me alone. I have something to say and I’m going to say it,” Violet’s ex-boyfriend shouted into the mike.

The security guards grabbed him and he ducked around them, disappearing under the table with the mike.

“Violet, sweetie,” he said while kicking at the security guards’ hands as they dragged him from underneath the table. “I only want to be with you!” he crooned.

I looked around for Violet who was standing there in shock. Magnus was by her side looking bewildered. The others and I moved closer, not wanting to miss a moment of this show.

The security guards now had Violet’s ex-boyfriend by his underarms and were trying to drag him out.

“Oh wait, wait. Don’t hurt him. He’s the love of my life!”

There was an audible gasp from the audience, myself included. Magnus continued to look bewildered, turning from Violet’s ex-boyfriend to Violet.

With much fanfare, Violet reached up and kissed Magnus on the cheek. “You’re great. You really are but, you know, I just don’t really feel anything between us.”

Magnus opened his mouth to say something when Violet pressed her finger against his lips and said, “Shhh. Don’t say anything. I know you’re in shock. I know you’ll never meet anyone else like me in your entire life and I’m sorry for you about that.” She stood back and took his hands, continuing, “But trust me that I’ll always have a special place in my heart for you. And you can always follow me on Instagram.”

She happily reached for her ex-boyfriend’s hand who took one last parting jab at Magnus. “Yo’ man, you better not follow my girl on Instagram, got that?”

Violet giggled. “Oh, Steve. You’re so virile and protective. I always loved that about you.”

“Anything for you, girl. You know you’re my girl, right? I love you so much. I messed up. I’ll never kiss another woman again unless that other woman is you.” His eyes were red as he started to tear up and his lips trembled.

“I love you, too,” Violet said as her eyes began to water. That was the end of the sweetness as they started slobbering on each other while the rest of us watched in shock.

“Get a room,” someone shouted. I was pretty sure that someone was Misha.

“Let’s get married. Haven’t you always wanted to visit Vegas?” Steve said.

To everyone’s surprise, Violet balked. “Slow down, buddy. I’m young and fun. I’m not going to let marriage ruin what I have left of my twenties. Are you freaking kidding me?”

Steve actually looked relieved. “Cool. Want to go get some noodles? There’s this Vietnamese noodle place out near downtown. They let me park my camper there.”

“You brought your camper with you?” she said, unwinding her arms from his neck and stepping back. “That’s so gross. I always hated that camper.”

They walked away arguing while the rest of us looked on.

“Well, that was something,” Emmaline muttered.

“God, how embarrassing,” Misha said as she helped herself to the pile of shrimp at the buffet table. “These are delicious.”

Oliver popped up next to me with Kat by his side. “Here’s your chance, Lesli. He’s sad and single. Get ready to pounce.”

I looked at Oliver and shook my head. No, I couldn’t. This couldn’t be the right time to tell him. He’d just been publicly dumped.

“He’s right,” Kat said. “He’s ripe for the picking... All vulnerable and sad.”

I wanted to cover my ears and hide when suddenly Magnus walked in our direction. During Violet’s speech his face had registered shock, then disbelief and then finally amusement. He didn’t look amused now, he looked determined.

“Shhh... he’s coming this way... he’s coming this way,” Lacey murmured. “Quick everyone, Pretend we weren’t talking about him.”

To my embarrassment, everyone started fake laughing and awkwardly talking about the weather.

Oliver was the worst offender. “Oh, Magnus. We didn’t see you there.” He patted him on the back with a hard hit. “Don’t worry about the breakup. Things will turn around. We’ve all had our share of public humiliation.”

Misha laughed and then quickly tried to cover it as a cough.

Magnus winced. “Yeah. That was pretty bad. I think I’m going to head out and lick my wounds.”

“Nonsense. Stay. We’re all friends here. No one’s going to bring up the fact that you got dumped so publicly.”

“No,” Magnus said with a sigh, “I think I’ll head out. I’ve given the papers enough to talk about for one night.” He looked at me then and I couldn’t read the expression in his eyes as he said, “Goodnight, Lesli.”

He turned to walk away and people cleared a path for him. Most were still whispering among themselves about the commotion Steve had caused.

I watched him walk away until he disappeared. My heart went out to him, but Oliver and Kat were right. Maybe this was my moment. I looked at Lacey and said, “Don’t wait up for me.”

I could hear cheers behind me and knew Oliver, Lacey, and the rest of the gang were cheering me on.

I picked up the pace, racing through the crowd and down the stairs. People looked at me curiously, but I knew it was now or never. I had to tell him how I felt or at the very least I had to show him.

“Hey,” I called as I closed the distance between us.

He turned around and looked confused but pleased to see me.

I swallowed hard, “I could say that I’m sorry about what happened, but I’m not sorry at all.” I surprised myself by my own bluntness.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” He looked confused and on guard.

“I don’t know what I want you to say either, but I do know that I’m glad that it’s over between you and Violet. She wasn’t right for you.”

He looked at me quizzically, “Really? Then who is?”

I raised my hand and he gave a gruff laugh.

“You?”

I nodded and gave him a partial smile. “I think, just maybe, that I might be.”

He stared at me and didn’t say a word and then he took my hand and pulled me into the limo with him. I knew I should have waited, but I couldn’t. I had already waited too long in my opinion.

I unzipped his pants as soon as the limo door closed and he spread his legs, allowing me better access. I got down on my knees and pulled his already straining sex into my mouth. I wanted this. I wanted to taste him. I wanted to claim what I felt was rightfully mine.

I sucked at the tip and he shifted, trying to maintain his cool. I looked up at him and he looked down at me as I pulled not just the tip but the rest of him deep into my mouth.

He groaned then and grabbed my head. He kept my face to his cock as I moved it in and out of my mouth, adjusting the speed of my licks and teasing him with my tongue. I used my other hand to play with his balls and I didn’t know it was possible, but he stiffened even more, getting harder and longer.

I couldn’t wait, I needed him right then and there. I didn’t care that the driver might hear us. I climbed into Magnus’s lap and he pulled my shorts off and pushed my panties to the side. He began to finger me as he kissed me all over, planting kisses along the tops of my breasts and freeing my nipples with a sense of urgency, sighing as he sucked one and then the other into his mouth. I ran my fingers through his hair and moaned.

And then as I did, he fingered me harder, pushing one finger and then another deep into me. I gasped and begged him.

“Put it in,” I whispered against his ear.

“Say please,” he teased.

I decided to take matters into my own hand. I grabbed his length and lowered myself on it. I wanted to take him all in at one time, but it had been a while since our last encounter so I had to take my time.

But that made it even more pleasurable. I slowly took him in inch by inch and he tossed his head back and let me control the rhythm of our lovemaking as I buried him in my wetness.

I began to move up and down, almost letting the tip of his sex exit my center before settling back down. He took over then, unable to control himself, and began speeding up the rhythm of our lovemaking.

“God, you feel good...” he moaned, his head still tossed back.

I couldn’t respond, I was on the point of no return. An orgasm hit me and I closed my eyes and luxuriated in the feel of it. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. My whole body tensed, and with a gasp, I collapsed forward as my inner muscles shook, clenching around Magnus’s still hard cock.

He grabbed my waist then and easily bounced me up and down, penetrating me as deeply as he could in our current position, as my head lay against his shoulder, until he too found his sweet spot and finally, with one last thrust of his hips, he came inside of me.

I didn’t stir. I sat there with him still buried in me as the limo continued to move toward what I assumed was his home.

He began to rub my back and he kissed my neck.

“That was...”

I put a finger up to shush him. “Don’t talk. You’ll ruin the moment.”

“Yes, ma’am,” was all he said, and I smiled. He wrapped his arms around and me and said, “So does this mean you’re spending the night?”

“If you’ll have me.”

“I can’t imagine anything better.”

He surprised me then by tilting my head up. “This time... I would like to wake up next to you. Deal?”

I shrugged. “We’ll see.”

He frowned. “You know, I do have some handcuffs somewhere. I can handcuff you to the bed.”

I was feeling wanton. “Oh really? Kinky.”

He squeezed my bare behind. “Seriously. Tell me that you’ll stay.”

Something about his voice was vulnerable and his eyes held an emotion that I wasn’t ready to identify.

I buried my head in his neck and said, “I’ll stay.”

He wrapped his arms around me. I was cognizant of the fact that he was getting hard again and I was getting wet again.

I kissed him long and hard. “Round two?” I said as I began moving my hips.

“Yes, please,” was all he said as I slowly began again to make love to him.

The next morning, the spray of the shower cascaded down my back and front. I couldn’t help but think yet again how fancy Magnus’s shower was. There were shower heads positioned strategically on several walls which meant no matter where I turned, the warmth of the water caressed my body. His shower was pure luxury and I loved every minute of it.

Seconds later, Magnus peaked in. “Care if I join you?”

I don’t know why I felt shy, but I did. We’d spent the entire night making love. I’d let him do things to me that I’d never done with another man, things I’d only read about but never experienced. I’d done all those things plus more with Magnus. But under the moonlight, it hadn’t been any big deal. It was almost as if nothing at night was real, but in the harsh judging light of the day, I felt differently. I felt exposed.

Maybe I was some sort of sex werewolf, I thought nonsensically. I turned into a wanton, sex goddess at night, but was a prude in the light of day.

Trying to sound confident but failing, I said, “Sure.”

He stepped in with me and I tried to ignore his cock, which was partially erect and getting harder by the minute.

He stepped up behind me and gathered some soap in his hand.

“Do you want me to wash your back?”

“Sure.”

Apparently, my morning vocabulary was limited to just saying sure.

His warm hands slid across my shoulders and I sighed.

“God, your hands feel good.”

He chuckled and when he was done he pulled me back into his arms and just held me. I knew I should have been comfortable and felt relaxed, but for some reason I was tense.

As if noticing, he let me go and said, “Is something wrong?”

“No.”

I busied myself by reaching for a loofah.

He didn’t say anything and I turned around to look at him. He was looking at me with a resigned look.

“Do you want me to get out?”

“No. This is your home, your shower. You have every right to be here.”

He didn’t say a word and I pretended he wasn’t standing there as I began to lather myself. “I’m making you uncomfortable. I’ll get out.”

I didn’t respond, I just let him leave. And when the shower door closed, I gave a sigh of relief. But then I quickly felt disappointment. My emotions when it came to Magnus were so conflicted. I didn’t know what I wanted. And clearly, he wasn’t happy with that.

I grabbed a robe that I found hanging up and didn’t bother looking for anything to wear. I figured Magnus would let me borrow a t-shirt and shorts.

I found him in the kitchen, making toast.

To my surprise he didn’t acknowledge my presence. He didn’t even look at me.

“You hogged all the toast?” I asked, attempting to make my tone light. I could tell the mood between us had changed. And I knew that was my fault.

“I didn’t think you would be interested in sticking around for breakfast,” he said succinctly, standing up to go to the refrigerator. He pulled out some orange juice and drank it straight from the jug. He wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand and sat back down and kept eating.

I stood there awkwardly, not knowing how to act or what to say. I didn’t know why, but I felt out of place.

“Why’d you agree to spend the night?” he asked, catching me by surprise with his question.

“What?”

“Why did you agree to spend the night?”

“You asked me to,” I said, meeting his eyes and seeing regret there.

For some reason, that hurt me. He regretted what happened between us?

“I don’t understand you, Lesli,” he said gruffly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said more testily than I’d intended. Great. I was already getting on the defensive.

“You know what I mean. We spent all night making love to each other, but yet you treat me like a stranger in the morning. We’re friends. At least I thought we were and we’ve been lovers several times over, but yet I still make you uncomfortable?”

I shrugged and avoided his eyes. “It’s not you—”

“Then what is it?”

I didn’t know what to say. What was my problem? Why was I always pushing Magnus away?

“Are you going to answer me?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” I said truthfully, finally meeting his eyes again. “I don’t know why I keep pushing you away Magnus. I really don’t. But does it really matter? We’re two different people from two different walks of life.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” He narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms.

“Everything,” I said shortly.

“Explain.” His tone was equally curt.

“What don’t you understand? We’re from two different worlds. I grew up poor in a state no one even thinks of visiting and you grew up rich in a cool, international city. I’m a just a geeky girl who never fit in anywhere and you’re Florida’s most eligible bachelor. Come on, Magnus. Admit it. We’re too different.”

“Too different for what?”

“To make this work.”

“You haven’t even given us a chance.”

“There’s no need. I already know how it will turn out in the end. I’m not your kind—”

“My kind? What the hell are you talking about, Lesli? Is the chip on your shoulder really that big?”

I instantly tensed up. “Yes, yes, it is. If you grew up how I did—”

“And how exactly did you grow up? Because it sounds to me like you had a great childhood. That you grew up with people who loved you and encouraged you to be whoever you wanted to be. So spare me the sob story. You’re just making excuses. The only one who feels like you don’t belong is you.”

His words hit deep. He read me too well and that was scary. I was used to being the outcast. I was used to being the one that didn’t fit in. Was I creating that reality here in Florida? Had I been the one to create that reality in school? Had I really been the problem this whole time? Me?

I couldn’t refute his words, but that didn’t mean that I couldn’t be angry.

“You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me. So please stop trying to psychoanalyze me.”

“Trust me. I wouldn’t even try. I don’t have a millennium to figure out why you refuse to be happy.”

“Are you done?” I said, securing the belt of the robe around my waist with shaky hands.

“No, I’m not.”

“Well, I’m done listening.” I marched back into his bedroom and resigned myself to wearing the seventies costume I had come in the night before.

To my surprise, Magnus followed.

“So that’s it then? You’re just going to leave.”

“Apparently, you just want to fight. I’m not in the mood for fighting, so yes, I’m going to leave.”

He shook his head. “I care about you, Lesli. More than you realize, but for the life of me I can’t figure you out.”

I ignored him as I began to get dressed. The room was tense with emotion and I could feel it in the air. It made me decidedly uncomfortable.

“I’m just asking for a chance. I feel like I’m always begging you or chasing you.”

“Then stop begging me. Stop chasing me,” I said viciously. I was getting frustrated, not with Magnus but with myself.

“I can’t. It’s not that easy for me.”

“It’s not that easy for you to stop chasing someone who doesn’t want anything to do with you?” My comment was a low blow. I knew it was nasty, but I felt like an injured animal and I was just lashing out, rather than face being hurt.

He called me on it. “Stop lashing out and just talk to me. Tell me what’s going on in your head.”

“I don’t want to talk. I’m just not interested in this—” I gestured toward him.

“Not interested in what?”

“A relationship. You. All of it. Ok? That’s it. Can we just leave it alone now?”

“No.”

“Why not?” I said, turning on him angrily.

He said softly, “Because, against my better judgment, I’ve fallen for you, Lesli.”

I felt like my whole world had shifted out of focus. My eyes became blurred by tears and a million emotions welled up inside me.

“I got to go,” was all I was able to say.

“Aren’t you going to acknowledge what I just said?”

I laughed harshly and said, “You’ve fallen for me, but you’ve been dating my friend. Ok. Likely story.”

“You know my relationship with Violet was just friendly. I was just a placeholder while she waited for her boyfriend to see her with a rich dude on the news.”

“My heart goes out to you,” I said again in a nasty tone. I got my bag and stomped out toward the door.

“Lesli, come on... just talk to me. Stop running from me. Tell me what you’re thinking. Tell me what you’re feeling. I know you care about me.”

I had my hand on his doorknob when I felt his hand on my shoulder. I wanted to turn around and tell him that I felt the same way, that I wanted something to happen between us too, but I was scared. I was too scared of being happy. I was scared that if I let him into my heart, he would find a reason to leave me. And I didn’t know if I could handle that.

“Lesli, don’t leave. I love you.”

And with those words, my next action was sealed. I couldn’t accept Magnus’s love. I was too afraid. I was too afraid that one day he would stop loving me and take those very words back.

And so without a word of acknowledgment, I turned the knob and left. I shut the door behind me and slowly made my way to the elevator. I prayed that he wouldn’t follow me and he didn’t.

As I stepped into the elevator, I placed my head against the wall and let the tears fall. And as the elevator doors shut, so did the future I had that would contain love.