Chapter 20
Brenden
I changed the subject with a long kiss. The hollow feeling of my best friend's possible betrayal was something I could put off for a night. I didn't want to let anything get between Faith and me, not on our first night together.
"No more talking." I whispered against her lips between kisses. "Please, just let me enjoy this, enjoy you, a little longer."
She curled close to my body and settled into the feather-soft mattress. She fell asleep under my soft explorations. Her gentle curves and slender body were a revelation of sensations. It was the first time I had been completely intimate with someone I had never seen.
The thought squeezed an ice-cold fist around my heart. Was this just some kind of puppy-love all over again? Would I think back after a few more sightless years and shake my head at how foolish I had been? There was no way the feelings I had for Faith could be anything more than the exhilaration of actually feeling that life was going on.
I brushed my cheek against the soft ripples of her hair. What color was it? Did that matter? I knew its scent, its length, the way it fell across her face as I touched her cheek. And every inch of her body had sent sizzling signals through all my senses, so powerful that I had almost been overwhelmed.
Sex without sight was more powerful and satisfying than I could ever have imagined.
It was ridiculous, but the fact that the sex had been mind-blowing made me think there was no way my feelings could be real. Maybe I had just been struck with such adolescent, fairy tale believing passion because I was a sightless sex virgin. Now that it was done, would I realize that Faith was just practice?
I kissed her forehead.
It wasn't fair to her. Rachel and I had been dating before my sight started to fade. I knew what Rachel looked like, and I’d never imagined meeting someone new without my sight.
The thought of Rachel made me squirm. Faith let out a soft sigh and brushed her hand over my chest in a comforting caress. I froze, but my heart did a crazy dance just below her fingertips. Her hand felt so right splayed against my bare skin. I laid a hand over it and held her tight.
I knew I had lost Rachel even before I lost my sight. She couldn't stand all the doctors and discussions and adjustments and concerns. It was all just a big bore to her, but she didn't balk at the idea of moving out of her modest condo and into my mansion. She might have stayed with me just for the real estate.
Or for a bigger score.
My watch quietly beeped my normal wake-up, and I swallowed a groan. I had laid awake all night wondering about Faith and picking apart all my past moments with Rachel. And Darin.
My chest burned. I slipped out from under Faith's comforting hand, found my phone, and felt my way to the bathroom. One quick call and a trusted assistant was back-tracking all of Darin's other meetings. I wouldn't have to wonder, because I would have hard evidence.
I rubbed my chest. I wasn't looking forward to knowing the truth about my best friend.
"Everything okay?" Faith's sleepy voice called me back to the present.
I opened the bathroom door and made my way back to the bed. "Yes, sorry. Just an early morning business call," I said.
She scrambled up out of bed. "I won't get in your way. I have a ton of schoolwork to do."
I groped for her hand and caught her slim wrist before she could escape. "I don't want you to go."
She surprised me with a full kiss that spun me around. She put her soft hands on my cheeks and kissed me again before she said, "I'm sorry to tell you about, um, you know. I just want to be one hundred percent honest with you."
I caught her tight around her waist and held her close. "I trusted you from the first moment I heard your voice, but now I really know it's real. Telling me couldn't have been easy. Thank you."
"I'll give you some space." She slipped out of the room.
I flopped down onto the bed and rubbed my chest again. It wasn't heartache, no. My chest thundered with certainty about Faith.
I knew I could trust her because now I knew what it felt like to really be betrayed by people I loved. The first reports were already pouring in from my loyal assistant and it didn't look good for Darin. Or Rachel.
It took me forever to get dressed and go downstairs. I needed to face Jasper. It would be harder to hear the truth with his caring scrutiny, but I squared my shoulders and marched downstairs and across the grand foyer.
A part of me wondered if Faith might have taken off. I’d been doom and gloom since she’d promised to “give me space.” Would she have asked to go back to the city? Jasper would have driven her home and no one would have blamed her from wanting to get away from me and my drama.
I turned my head from side to side, trying to find her scent.
"She's still here." Jasper cleared his throat from the servants’ hallway door. "Ms. Faith is baking something amazing in the kitchen."
Relief hit me and I had to recount my steps.
"And she's baking?" I asked.
He gave a raspy chuckle. "Baking and singing. I think Maria's helpers are falling in love with her."
"What do you think of her, Jasper?" I felt the high drafty arch of the rotunda and heard the clinking chandelier above my head. Not the most private place, but I needed the truth.
Jasper moved closer. "Sir?"
"Really, Jasper. What am I doing here? Something stupid?" I asked.
I could hear him chewing on his cheek before he answered with a question, "Why don't you trust yourself, Brenden?"
"You know." I couldn’t help my sharp tone of voice.
Jasper took my arm and led me toward the servants’ quarters. I balked in the narrow door and blocked his way. He had to answer my question.
"Fine," he said. "In my opinion, you need more faith in yourself. The two of you together is one of the best things I've seen in years."
"Including Maria?" I dodged Jasper's sharp jab. "All right. I need a little more Faith. And I definitely need some of whatever it is she's baking. Why are you holding me back?"
He shoved me down the hallway with a disgusted sigh, but I knew he was smiling. I didn't need eyes to know how the people I loved felt. It was annoying, but it was possible Jasper might be right; all I had to do was believe in my own perceptions.
Two more steps and I was in the kitchen, my sense suddenly spinning. The kitchen was warm and it felt as if flour dust hung in the air. Faith was humming in the corner while Maria's young helpers milled around shyly by the far door. And the fresh-baked scents made my mouth water.
"You're still here," I stammered. I checked my mouth to make sure I wasn't drooling.
Faith came a few steps closer and leaned on the kitchen island. "Still here? Oh, right! I'm so stupid. You really do want space."
I held up both hands to stop her sudden scrambling. "No, no. I'm glad you're still here. Relieved, actually. I was worried that last night... ahem."
"Sorry, Mr. Porter!" Maria's helpers skittered out the back door.
"I wouldn't have blamed you for ditching me. There's normally no drama in my life." I reached out.
Faith put one floured hand in mine. "I don't want to add to it."
"No!" I kissed the back of her hand and tasted honey. "You're the only thing that's keeping me sane. And hungry."
She giggled as I nipped at the back of her hand. "Well, I wanted to prove to you that I wasn't just messing around this weekend. Baking is really helping me focus and I have all sorts of great ideas for making my business even better."
I pulled up a stool and sat down. "Tell me everything, but, first, for the love of god, please cut me a piece of whatever smells so good. Do I smell peach?"
"And pecan pie," Faith said. She spun around and made me a plate. "And I made mini chicken pot pies. Perfect for a picnic."
Maria returned as I was still speechlessly savoring my first bite of pie. She clattered something big onto the counter close to me and rubbed her hands together in excitement.
"I found the basket and a nice wool blanket. The weather might not hold, but a picnic on the beach is what every weekend needs," Maria said. "Oh, and I took the liberty of choosing a nice white wine. Unless you've already ruined your appetite."
I laughed and wiped pie crumbs off my chin. "No worries there. I'm still starving."
I knew Faith saw my hungry expression because I heard her breath suck in. "Really? Because I understand if you don't have time."
I stood up, skirted around the counter, and caught Faith's hand again. "I know the perfect spot."
Faith fretted as I carried the picnic basket. "Be careful, I don't want the crust to break. It's probably too flaky."
She wasn't worried about a blind man leading her down to the bay. Faith trusted in my perceptions and held my hand without a trace of tension or worry. I pulled her closer and led her down the sloping lawn and past the old boat house.
"Know why I picked this spot?" I asked when we arrived at the beach.
She chuckled. "We can't be seen from the house."
I tugged her closer and kissed her. "And I want to have you all to myself."
She gently pried the picnic basket from my hands and set it down on the sand. Then she gave in to the kiss. I tasted her and the salty breeze. I heard her soft, happy sighs, and the slapping waves.
"What is it?" Faith asked.
"It's going to storm, isn't it?" I asked.
Faith tipped her head up. "It's beautiful, though. The clouds are all folded over each other, some dark, some gray, and some all blue with rain."
Thunder answered my next question.
"Plan B!" I pulled Faith back up the beach.
"Wait, the basket!" She grabbed the basket and followed me at a run.
We made it into the boat house just before another loud clap of thunder. The raw energy of it sparked a smile on my face and I was glad to hear Faith's equally excited giggle. We stood together in the doorway and waited for the rain. I heard it spattering across the water before little thuds raced across the sand, and then sudden it rapped on the roof above us.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't notice the clouds before you mentioned them. I was focused on the food."
I laughed. It felt good to know that other people had blind spots too. "Well, why don't you focus on getting the picnic set up, and I'll start a fire."
I knocked over the poker but redeemed myself by getting a roaring fire going in the old stone hearth. Faith helped me up and guided me to the wool blanket she'd spread out on the floor. The rain outside was a steady patter and the fire crackled merrily. The empty little boat house was cozy and filled with mouth-watering scents. Outside problems and worries were all far away, and I suddenly felt more relaxed than I had in years.
"It was silly of me to drag you out for a picnic," Faith said.
I shook my head and squeezed her hand. "Do you know I haven't been invited on a date in so many years, you could have asked me to shuck oysters on a smelly boat and I would have been happy you asked me."
"If you don't mind my baking, I'll ask you out for a lot more taste tests," Faith said.
I tasted her lips first. She smiled through the kiss and it only whetted my appetite more.
Our glasses of wine, the assorted cheeses and dried fruits, and the fresh green salad were all forgotten as I tried the chicken pot pie.
"I loved it so much I wolfed it down," I admitted. I tipped my empty plate in Faith's direction.
She scooted closer and said, "Here, have a bite of mine."
I opened my lips and let her feed me. My trust was rewarded with delicious bites and then a shy, salty kiss from Faith. She tasted better than anything and I pulled her close to get my fill.