CHAPTER 19
Danica
As soon as I had gotten a few yards past Remy, my composure broke. I ran into the restaurant and headed straight to the bathroom. I locked myself in a stall and just wept. The tears flowed like rain, and grief enveloped me like fog. Everything was gone, everything... I truly had lost everything now. And telling Remy that it was over had been the hardest part of it all, even harder than handing over all my money. Everything in my heart had screamed out for him the moment I had stepped out of the alley and saw him standing there, everything.
I had wanted, more than anything, to just run over to him and jump into his arms and hug him with all my might and cover him with kisses, and ask him to never let me go – but I had known that that would not have been the right thing to do. He didn't deserve this; he didn't deserve to be dragged into the mess that my life had become. Cutting him out of my life was as painful as severing one of my own limbs, as awful as cutting myself open and ripping out my own heart – but it was the right thing to do, however agonizing it felt. The wounds would one day heal, and Remy would move on and find a nice girl, a girl without an abusive, drug-dealing father, a girl who hadn't run away from home and lived on the streets, a girl who wasn't a thief who had stolen ten thousand dollars, a girl who didn't have broken dreams that there was no hope of realizing.
And me... whether I would ever find anyone like Remy again, I didn't know. It wasn't likely though. It had been a total fluke that someone like him had fallen for someone like me, and it wasn't something that I was likely to ever encounter again. And as much as thinking about that hurt, there was nothing I could do but accept it, because it was what it was – the truth.
Someone else came into the bathroom, so I did my best to dry my eyes and stop sniffing. Still, she heard me in there, and as soon as she spoke, I knew who it was.
“Hey, whoever is in there, are you okay?”
“It's me, Tessa,” I said. “And... I don't know. I don't know if I'll ever be okay again.”
“Aw, no, Dani. Can you at least open the door so we can talk about it?”
I unlocked the stall door and let her in. She immediately gave me a big hug.
“Aw, Dani, you look so sad. Jeez, it's even making me want to cry. Look, this is no place to talk, and I really want a cigarette. Do you want to come outside with me quickly? We'll just step across the street and find a quiet spot in the park. There's still a bit of time before our shift starts.”
“All right,” I said, nodding. I took some more toilet paper and dried my eyes off and then followed her across the road to the park.
Tessa took out her box of smokes and lit one up.
“I thought you were quitting,” I said.
“I tried,” she said with a shrug, “but I had a big fight with my boyfriend last night and I just had to have one. And then 'just one' became, well, a pack. Damn. And I was doing so well...”
“You were. What was it, three weeks?”
“Eighteen days, so let's say three weeks to make me feel better. But anyway, this isn't about me, this is about you. What's going on, girl?”
I sighed, and all the pain seemed to wash right back through me, flooding through my system like poison.
“This guy has been following me around, this real rough-looking guy, he looks like a street thug or ex-con or something, and the other day he actually came into the restaurant.”
“Oh, my God!” she exclaimed. “You told me about that, but I didn't realize the guy had actually come in and spoken to you! Did you, like, call the cops or something?”
“I couldn't, because then I would have been in trouble as well.”
“Oh, yeah... Well, what the hell did this creep want?”
“He said he knew my dad, and that my dad wanted his money back.”
“Oh, boy. But what was that old drug dealing scumbag gonna do to get his money back anyway? That was drug money, and there's no way he could tell the cops about it or like, open a case against you or anything.”
I shook my head. “No, he couldn't do anything like that... but since when have people like him played by the rules? This guy opened his jacket and showed me that he had a gun, and told me that something really bad would happen if I didn't get the money back to him in a week. He also threatened to do something to Remy.”
“Damn... that's crazy. So... what did you do?”
Tears started running down my cheeks again. “I... I got my dance school to give me a refund on the classes I won. I told them my dad had late-stage cancer and that there were a lot of medical expenses we needed to cover.”
“So, they gave you a refund? They gave you money?”
I nodded. “Seven and a half thousand in cash.”
“Damn, Dani, that's a lot of money.”
“It is... And I added it to the three thousand dollars I still had saved from the ten grand I originally took from my dad, and I gave it to the guy.”
Tessa's jaw dropped with shock.
“Wait. You... you just gave ten grand in cash to this creep, just like that?!”
I nodded and started crying again. “I had to... There was no other way.”
She hugged me tightly. “Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. That's terrible... But look, I'm here for you, okay? Please, if something like this comes up again, you gotta tell me before you do anything. I'll help you, I don't care what it takes, I'll help you.”
“Thank you, Tessa,” I said, still sobbing. “Thank you. You're a wonderful friend, a truly wonderful friend.”
“And you're my best friend,” she said, “no matter what happens, okay?”
We hugged for a while in silence, and it made me feel better.
“And look,” she said, “the money might be gone, but at least you still have Remy, right?”
Now I really felt awful. I shook my head. “I just saw him now, and told him that we couldn't see each other anymore.”
“What?! But why, Dani, why? I've never seen you so into a guy before! It really seemed like you were falling in love with him, for real. And from everything you told me about him, he seems like such an amazing guy. Why would you do that?!”
“Because I just know that more crap like this is going to happen to me. And that ex-con threatened him, and I knew that if I stayed together with Remy that I would bring nothing but trouble into his life.”
Tessa shook her head. “You shouldn't have done that! Look, you know that I respect your fierce independence, and your strong sense of self-reliance. And I understand that it comes from living on your own, with nobody to help you, for so many years. But there comes a point where you have to learn to trust other people, where you have to actually allow people to be there for you, and to help you through the tough times. And I don't know Remy that well, admittedly, but he seemed like the type of guy who would do anything for you, who would stick by your side through thick and thin. And you want to throw that all away because of the chance that your father might cause more trouble with you in the future? No. Come on, Dani, you can't be so pessimistic about this. Give love a chance! Seriously! Don't throw everything away. Don't do it.”
“Hey!” yelled an angry voice from across the street – our manager. “You two, get the hell in here, you're late for your shifts! Hurry the hell up!”
“We'd better go,” said Tessa. “But please... think about what I just said. Please... just think about it.”