Chapter 21
Faith
I couldn't resist Brenden's mouth. Watching him eat the food I had baked drove me wild and I barely waited for him to swallow before I tasted his lips myself. Only then could I shut my eyes and experience the kiss the same way as Brenden.
I felt him smile against my lips, then he drew a heavy breath. I had moved forward to straddle his lap. His plate clattered to the blanket and both hands found my hips.
"Can I?" Brenden asked.
I let him lay me gently on the blanket. The fire was warm but nothing compared to the flames his fingertips created. Again, I forced myself to close my eyes and experience Brenden's touch. It brought me closer to him.
"Were you worried when I walked you down to the beach?" His fingers slipped apart the buttons of my shirt.
"No. You knew where you were going." I wriggled free of my shirt and gasped as his hot fingertips stroked my stomach. "I trust you."
His lips followed his fingertips so that his kisses trailed up between my breasts. "You really trust me?"
"I came here, didn't I?" My breath came out in tight, little pants.
He slipped my bra off and let his breath warm my budding nipples. "How did I know this would feel so right?"
We descended from words into warm murmurs. Brenden's lips encircled my nipples, his tongue licking as I whimpered for more. More even as his lips explored down my hip and across the top of my thigh. His breath made my back arch, my hips rising up to the heat of his mouth.
He tasted me like I was honey, then tickled me with his breath when he asked, "Can we switch? I want my hands free. They help me see."
I sat up and kissed Brenden's chest as he lay down on the woolen blanket. His hands guided me up and over his hips. I lowered down slowly, stretching over him and leaning forward until our lips met again. He moved his hands over every inch of me—up to where my chest heaved with each pleasurable cry and down to where our bodies met so perfectly, so tight.
I put my hands on his chest and pushed up, riding him without reserve. I knew he saw me more intimately than with his eyes and it only made me want to show him more. I plunged us closer and closer, Brenden's perceptive hands strumming over me until every nerve vibrated. I rang inside out like a reverberating bell and felt Brenden's answering shudder beneath me.
After the fire went out, we made our way back up to the house and took champagne into his bathtub. It took until early in the morning before he stumbled across his phone. I was glad for a chance to catch my breath - it hadn't been a dream! Then I saw his face and my heart sank. I knew what he was going to say.
"I have to head back in the morning. Emergency meeting overseas." He swore, then gritted his jaw. "Sorry. I'll be gone for a few days."
I wanted to pull him back into bed and hold him tighter, but he meant too much to me. I didn't want to screw things up. I pushed myself out of the comfortably tangled sheets and started to get dressed.
"That's probably a good thing. I have so much work to do. And I have to go to work!" I pulled myself together and headed toward his bedroom door.
Brenden sprang up and stumbled after me. "Faith, wait. Please don't make me chase you."
I stopped. "You better not. You don't have pants on."
"Can I see you when I get back?"
I blew him a kiss and then laughed at myself. "Yes. I'd like that."
*****
Three days had gone by without seeing Brenden. I had scrambled to finish the schoolwork I had neglected over the weekend. In order to get it done, I had promised to work doubles for the next four days in order to make up my hours. At least I'd be busy if his business trip got extended.
Or he'd just gotten a better offer.
Brenden could wing across the world to have dinner with a princess. His office was full of women more his match. My life was so tiny compared to his daily scope that I was surprised when he called me.
"Just wanted to hear your voice. How's the baking, beautiful?" he asked.
I tucked the phone under my chin as I parked my car and grabbed my purse. "I don't have anyone to feed, and besides I'm too busy to even make toaster strudel. But, how are you?"
"I’m in London. Busy. Back to back meetings. I don't know when I can break away."
"Well, I'll be at the coffeeshop when you need help with jet lag," I joked.
"I'll give you a call later tonight, your time," he said.
I was still smiling when I wrapped on my apron and joined Cheryl at the counter. "He's going to call me later," I told her.
"Well, that answers my question. I won the bet!" Cheryl laughed at Tiffany. "I told you Faith wasn't too shy!"
"You bet on me?" I smacked my boss on the arm.
"Please. It kept us from panicking and calling the police. You haven't taken a day off since you started working here." Cheryl laughed and elbowed me in the ribs. "You deserved it!"
"So, how was it?" Tiffany asked.
My cheeks flamed. "Stop! Brenden is a gentleman."
They both blocked my way.
"It was mind-blowing. Now leave me alone." I pushed past them and greeted the next customer.
We had a small rush of people and all the tables filled up. Still, Cheryl and Tiffany kept smiling at me. Our conversation wasn't over until we'd made every single specialty order and refilled the cream and sugar twice.
"All right, now spill," Cheryl said. She eyed the happy customers at their tables.
I couldn't escape in the obvious lull. "I spent the weekend with him. It wasn't a big thing."
"But it was good?" Tiffany was dying of curiosity.
I grabbed a wad of paper napkins and fanned my cheeks. "It was better than I've ever had."
Cheryl squealed. "Stop, I'm jealous. No, tell me everything!"
"No." I swatted her away.
"It didn't matter about his, uh, eyes?" Tiffany asked.
Cheryl went to strangle her young employee but I stopped her in her tracks by saying, "Are you kidding? It made it better! He used his fingertips to see every inch of me."
We were talking in hushed voices behind the hiss of the milk steamer but still an indignant customer cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
I choked.
"Are you Jake?" Cheryl asked.
Jake's face was mottled with rage and his upper lipped curled in a soundless snarl.
Tiffany shrank back to my side. "That's your ex-boyfriend?"
"Yes. My ex." I glared at Jake. "Can we talk somewhere a little more private?"
"You didn't seem to need privacy a minute ago," he spat.
I waved him around the counter. He stomped behind me all the way to the store room. I stopped him from slamming the door and then jammed my finger in his chest.
"What do you think you're doing? Coming here and acting like this? What is wrong with you?" I jabbed him in the chest again.
He caught my hand and growled in frustration as the storeroom door bounced back open. He measured his voice and then said, "I wanted to see you. That's all."
"You scared my co-workers!"
He flexed his jaw. "I got carried away. I overheard what you said. Faith, you're killing me. I can't believe you're with that guy."
"Are you tearing up?" I put a hand on his shoulder.
He snaked one hand around my waist and blinked hard. "No. I didn't want it to be like this. I mean, like that. This is nice."
I pulled away from my ex. "What were you expecting, Jake? Every time I see you, you cause me problems."
"It's only because this is all messed up," he said. "If we were back together, then everything would fall back into place."
"'Fall back into place?' What if there's something better?" I asked. The look in Jake's eyes hurt my heart. "I mean, what if we're better off with other people?"
"How can you say that? I screwed up, I know that now, but I deserve a second chance. Can you really just throw me away?"
"You're the one that walked out!" I shrieked. Then I slapped a hand over my mouth and pressed tight.
He slipped his hands over my shoulders. "You wouldn't be this upset if you didn't still love me."
I shook off his touch but his words weren't so easy to get rid of. Why was I so upset?
I looked at Jake. He really did have tears in his eyes. He squeezed my shoulders and took short, panicked breaths.
"Did you say you screwed up?" I felt dizzy.
"I did. I panicked, Faith. We took things so fast. The wedding was planned before it even sank in that I'd proposed. I don't know. I screwed up." He squeezed me closer.
"No." I shook my head hard and pushed him away. "No more manipulating me. We're done, Jake. You walked out, I moved on, and I'm going to take my chances at being happy."
"I never made you happy?" he asked.
"I didn't make you happy, either. Otherwise you wouldn't have left," I told him.
His shoulders slumped. "I don't want you to be unhappy, Faith."
"And you can be happy too, Jake," I reminded him. "You don't have to settle for me just because we're single."
"You're not single," Jake shook his head and smiled. "And I hear that you're pretty happy. He makes you happy."
"He might," I said.
"I want that for you, Faith. I do." He turned to leave.
My heart tripped. Was I making the right decision?
I knew I could stop Jake. We would take up right where we'd left off and probably be miserable within the month.
But I let him go. He didn't look back. This time I knew he wouldn’t ask again.
That didn't mean I didn't wonder all through the rest of my shift. Brenden didn't call. I was sure he was busy, as sure as I was that Jake wasn't my fate. The doubt left me jittery and I walked around my block an extra three times before heading inside.
My heart flip-flopped in my chest a dozen times as I showered and tried to rid my hair of that coffee smell. Brenden liked it mixed in with my lilac scent, but was that something he'd get sick of? Should I have listened to Jake and been willing to try again?
I worried that I had taken a crazy chance on a wealthy guy like Brenden and I was very likely going to get dropped hard.
My nerves wound ten times tighter when I saw that I had a voice mail. This one not from Jake, but from the real estate agent.
"Faith, I'm sorry to put pressure on you, but there's been another offer. The seller is really motivated. You have to get back to me tomorrow, as early as you can!"
I closed my eyes. Before my stomach could coil up, I was frozen with one thought—I wished the call had come from Brenden. I wished he were here. His hand wrapped around mine, his comforting voice in my ear, and the solid muscle of his arm as he led me into a room. My stressed-out mind spun around with longing.
"You don't need Brenden to solve your problems," I said harshly to myself. "You just have to face facts!"
The truth was that I didn't have the money to secure the lease. At my current pace, it would take me five years at least before I could even pursue a lease without generous investors. I had messed around, distracted by the coffee shop and Jake and everything, and I had wasted time that should have been spent securing business partners.
It was all my fault. I sank onto my saggy, old sofa. Did I even have the drive I needed to open a small business? How had I already gotten so unfocused?
There was nothing to do. I could be mad at myself all night, but it wouldn't change the fact that I didn't have the collateral. I was going to lose the perfect little store front in the middle of the best foot traffic. My neat and tidy vision of my successful future suddenly had all sorts of loose strings.
I flopped back, feeling too undone myself to figure out all the knots.
"Any chance for a lucky break?" I asked the universe.
My phone rang. I picked it up, laughing when I saw it was Brenden. "Hi. I called the universe but I'm happy you called back instead."
"The universe, huh? Rough night?" Brenden asked.
My tight shoulders relaxed. "It never hurts to ask the universe for a little help."
"Do you think the universe could fix my jet so I can get back to U. S.?" he asked.
I ignored the part where he admitted to having a private jet and told him, "It's worth a shot."
"What did you ask for?" Brenden asked.
I laughed. "I don't want to bore you."
"It was money, wasn't it."
His sympathetic tone made me cringe. "I'm just pouting because my timing's off."
"I like your timing," Brenden said. "And, who knows, things might work out."
"So, you're stuck in London without a flight home?" I asked.
"Yeah, so the little details are kind of messed up, but I swear, everything can work out in the end," Brenden said.
I laughed, feeling so much better just having him to talk to. "I'm sorry I can't help get you a new jet."
"You're helping me just by talking to me. Faith, you have no idea how your voice relaxes me," Brenden said.
I stretched out on my sofa and imagined myself back onto the warm floor of the fire-lit boat house. "I'm glad you called."
We talked far into the night about absolutely nothing and although Brenden was an ocean away, it felt as if he was right there with me. I shut my eyes and felt closer to him. And he was there when we finally said goodnight and I crawled into my bed to dream of him.