I didn’t wait another second. The moment I heard Theo moving about in the kitchen, I quickly snuck out of the study and tiptoed down the hall.
Theo told me about coming to find me, and that’s when I knew.
He was regretful. He wanted to make amends, but he didn’t have the strength to.
I’d be the one to give him a push.
In my hand I clutched the key that I had filched from his inner jacket pocket. If I was lucky, it would open the door to that one room in his apartment that was locked. The flash drive had to be in there.
After glancing around to make sure Theo was still occupied, I slid the key into the lock.
It turned.
“Gotcha.”
I opened the door carefully and slipped in. The room was dark, and I felt around the wall for the switch, flicking it on.
My breath left in a gasp when the lights came on.
“Oh, my god…” I stared in shock at my surroundings.
Canvases lined the walls from floor to ceiling, covering nearly every inch of space. The skill of the paintings varied from simple still-life to complicated landscapes and abstracts.
There had to be over dozens of them in here, and I recognized every single one of them.
Because they were all mine.
I stared in mute shock as I ventured further into the room.
There were paintings I had done on consignment the past few years, paintings I had donated to charity auctions, even the early ones I had done in my college course and forgotten about.
They were all here, proudly displayed like in a gallery.
I jumped when a hard hand gripped my wrist.
“You’re not supposed to be in here,” Theo said tightly. He was furious, his eyes hard and glittering. I had stumbled upon his secret treasure hoard.
“How did you get them?” I whispered. “It must have taken you years.”
Theo’s hand tightened. “Come with me right now, or I swear to god—”
“You’ve been collecting them all this time,” I insisted. “Why?”
Theo looked away, his expression hard as granite.
I ran my hand over the canvas closest to me, feeling the bumps of the paint under my fingers. “This was the first piece I did when I got to college. I got a bad grade for it so I chucked it aside in the studio. I thought someone threw it away eventually.”
I looked at the one beside it. “And that one was for a competition. I got a consolation prize and it was auctioned off by the school to an anonymous buyer…” I turned to him, stunned. “You.”
There was no answer from Theo. His profile remained unreadable.
“Were you ever going to tell me?”
“Why would I?”
“Because they’re my paintings.”
“They’re mine now.”
Pieces of me that belonged only to him.
My eyes widened. Everything became clear to me all of a sudden.
“I painted one about you too,” I said softly. “That one there.”
Theo was wary as he looked where I pointed. “The black circle?”
I went to it, looking up at the canvas before me. “I read before that everyone is born with a hole in their heart. Some try to fill it with material things, some fill it with other people. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t.”
I turned, holding Theo’s gaze from across the room. “For some people, no matter how hard they try, it just can’t seem to fill up. And that hollow feeling hurts more than anything else, like yearning for a place that doesn’t exist.”
Theo’s shuttered expression didn’t change. “Emptiness is not the most painful thing in the world, princess. It’s when you know exactly what you want, and you can’t have it.”
“And what is the thing you want?”
Theo was stubbornly silent, but he didn’t need to say it. I knew the answer. It was all around me, in every artwork that was painstakingly collected and displayed like it was worth its weight in gold. It was in the way Theo refused to meet my eyes, like he had been caught red-handed in a guilty secret.
I stepped closer to him, knowing that he wouldn’t have the strength to turn me down this time.
This time, we were going all the way.
“If you can't tell me, maybe you can show me.”
Theo stared at me balefully. “You’re drunk.”
“A little, but I know what I want. And I want you.”
“Karin…” His jaw was tight with tension. “I don't want to hurt you.”
“Then don’t.”
This wasn't about Estelle, or Ryland or any of the guys, or even my father. It was just me and Theo, learning to trust each other.
“Come with me.” I took his hands in mine and tugged gently. “Trust me.”
“Karin, I can't give you—”
“Forget all that, it’s just us now.”
Our gaze never broke as I led him out the gallery towards his bedroom next door. Theo followed, his brows drawn as if he were in pain. He was battling himself every step of the way.
For the past ten years, I had surrounded myself with people. Theo had done the exact opposite, pushing them away so he didn’t ever have to lose them.
“You have people who care about you,” I said. “Just open your eyes and see.”
Theo’s gaze held onto mine like it was a life buoy in a storm, like I might disappear if he looked away. He seemed torn between wanting to believe what I said and keeping himself safe behind the walls around his heart.
“I don't know if I can,” he said in a low voice.
“It’s okay. Trust is a two-way street, and I’ll go first. I’ll start by trusting you.” I drew a deep breath, never looking away from Theo as if I could save him just by my will alone.
“I trust you,” I said again. “I know that you’re a good man who is capable of caring for others, and I trust that you want to do the right thing, even if you feel like you can’t.”
“Karin—”
“It’s not so scary, really.” I smiled, nervous but hopeful. “I’ll prove it to you. Take me the way you want to. Have me at your mercy.”
Theo went completely still at my words like he couldn’t believe what I’d just said. If not for his throat working furiously, I would’ve thought he hadn’t heard me.
I stopped at his bed and pushed on his shoulders.
Theo eased down without resistance. His gaze never left mine as I began to undo the buttons down the front of my dress. I slipped the sleeves off my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor in a whisper of fabric.
I had worn black lace underwear today in anticipation of something more, and it was now paying off. Theo looked like he was carved from marble, watching in spellbound silence as my body was revealed.
My breasts felt full and heavy under his hungry gaze, nearly spilling over the cups. Heat grew between my legs. I should have been even a little afraid, but I wasn't. The thought of being vulnerable to Theo only made me excited.
“Is this what you wanted?” I unclasped my bra, letting it fall to the floor.
“Karin.” His voice was thick, but his hands remained clenched on his knees, gripping so hard his knuckles went white.
I stood between his parted thighs, holding onto his shoulders for support. His tense muscles were rock hard under my touch, and the tautness in his pants made me lightheaded. I had to remind myself to breathe.
Then slowly, I leaned forward, brushing my swollen nipple against his closed lips.
Theo let out a shuddering breath. His eyes slid shut as he tried to steel himself against me, his nostrils flaring with lust.
“Please,” I whispered, nearly shaking as I pressed my breast against his lips. I was desperate for his mouth on my body. “Please, Theo, don't make me beg… I need you.”
Theo’s eyes flashed open suddenly as he snapped.
He grabbed my waist and pulled me to him. A groan escaped him as he took my nipple into his mouth and sucked hard, lapping at it with his tongue. The pleasure shot through my body and went straight between my legs. I moaned and clasped his head closer to my breast, eager for more.
“How do you want me?” I panted, letting my head fall back as Theo suckled me. “Please. I want you too.”
Theo’s eyes went dark at my pleas, his hands squeezing my hips possessively.
“Kneel,” he said in a low voice.
I got on my knees at his command, bracing my hands on his thighs. Theo watched me with heavy-lidded eyes as he undid his belt buckle and unfastened his pants.
My whole body was trembling with anticipation as I knelt before him. I was already wet and aching for him, but Theo took his time, torturing me with the wait.
He finally took out his erection, and a small whimper escaped me. The thick, hard length of him was so aroused it nearly pressed up against his stomach. The blunt head was swollen and glistening with precum.
The way Theo watched me was blatantly sexual. He took his shaft in his fist and pumped once, bringing more precum to the head. My mouth went dry.
“Open your mouth,” he murmured.
I obeyed, my breathing coming shallow and fast as I waited for his next order. I wanted him so badly I could almost taste him.
Theo wrapped my hair around his hand, guiding my head down his cock as far as I could go until my mouth was filled with him.
“Suck.”
At his command, I wrapped my hands around the base of him and pumped, moving them together with my mouth. My tongue swirled eagerly around the sensitive head of his cock, tasting the salt of him.
Theo cursed viciously, his hips jerking as he thrust deeper into my mouth. “Karin… Bloody fucking hell…”
I shifted on my knees to suck him better, moving my head up and down as I pleasured him. He filled the back of my throat and nearly choked me, but I couldn’t stop.
“God, Karin… You do it so fucking well…”
Theo’s praise turned me on even more, and I moved faster, sucking so hard that my mouth ached.
I was rewarded with the ragged groans that escaped him. He sank his hands into my hair, wrapping the long locks around his fist as he thrust helplessly.
I hummed my approval as I felt him grow even bigger in my mouth. I could feel him approaching his orgasm, and I eagerly took him deeper. The thought that he was about to lose control inside me aroused me so damned much.
“That’s it,” he gritted. “Christ, you’re so fucking good…”
His clipped accent was revealing itself as he lost control, and just the sound of it alone had me moaning softly. I felt his erection swell in my mouth, but before he could come, Theo cursed and eased me back.
“Karin, wait.” He groaned again when I reluctantly released him from my mouth with a pop.
“What’s wrong?” I breathed.
Theo’s brows were drawn like he was in pain. “Needs to be perfect,” he said in a ragged voice. “I've waited too damn long…”
I nuzzled his length, which was so hard it looked painful. “It is perfect.”
“You know what I mean.”
Keeping his burning gaze on me, Theo took off his jacket, then his shirt and tie. His every muscle was tense with desire, making the sculpted planes of his body stand out starkly. I barely had time to take them in when he shed his pants as well.
I sucked in a breath when I finally saw all of him. I’d always been a girl who could appreciate a hot guy, but Theo was beyond anything I expected. Even with the scar at his side, he was the most beautiful, most perfectly formed man I had ever seen.
For all his otherworldly beauty, Theo was breathing unsteadily like a mortal man, his chest rising and falling like he’d just run a mile. He watched me like he never wanted to look away, as if I would disappear if he even blinked.
And his erection… it bobbed in front of my face, big and proud and impossible to ignore. Theo lusted over me, and that feeling was intoxicating. It made me feel powerful.
“Get on the bed.”
I was helpless to obey, but I couldn’t resist teasing him as I did so. Theo made a strangled sound when I flashed him a glimpse of my swollen pussy as I crawled into his bed.
His eyes darkened as he advanced on me, but as I shifted back against the headboard, my fingers brushed onto the black tie that he had discarded.
“Hold on.” I picked up the length of silk, not quite believing what I was doing. “Do you want to…to tie me up?”
Theo’s gaze sharpened. “Are you certain?”
I had never done it before, but I could tell from the way he watched me that he wanted it.
And if the way I had begged him when he blindfolded me that night in Berling Straits was any indication, I might be more welcome to the idea that I’d expect.
I held the tie out to him, trying not to seem nervous. “I don’t mind. I want to share it with you too.”
Theo’s eyes were dark and smoldering as he took the tie and pushed me back into the mattress.
But he didn’t restrain me immediately like I expected. He trailed the tie over my stomach, letting the cool, smooth fabric tickle my skin.
My skin prickled with sensation. “W-what are you doing?”
“Letting you get used to it. I may be in control, princess, but make no mistake that this is about your pleasure.”
I bit my lip, torn between giggling and moaning. The latter worn out when Theo skimmed my sensitive breasts with the tie, letting the silk trail over my hardened nipples.
“Ohh…” I arched my back. “That feels nice…”
Then Theo dragged the silk down my stomach, between my parted legs.
“Uh, Theo? Are you—” I cried out when the cool silk brushed over my clit.
Theo’s faint smile was all sin. “You were saying?” He began using the smooth fabric to pleasure me in featherlight touches.
Oh, god…
“I’m used to it now,” I said breathlessly. “Go ahead.”
“I might take my time to torture you,” Theo murmured, cocking his head to watch me. “That’s only fair after what you just did to me, don’t you think?”
“No, it isn’t,” I choked. “I wanted to go all the way, you’re the one who—” A moan broke in when Theo traced my pussy lips with the tipped end of the tie. The stiff silk sent pleasure rippling through my body.
“So sensitive,” he marveled. He teased me some more until I was arching my back and moaning incoherent pleas and threats.
“Easy,” he said in amusement when I threatened to do the job myself. “The only one who gets to pleasure you today is me.”
I watched him in a haze of lust as he took my wrists and eased them over my head. I felt the silk knot around them securely, then Theo tightened them around his bed frame.
“Does it hurt?” he murmured.
“No, it feels…” I tested the tautness of the restraints, but it was clear that I wouldn’t be escaping them. The feeling of being at Theo’s mercy gave me a sudden rush. I was spread out in his bed, my naked body displayed for him like a feast.
“This feels strange,” I whispered, stunned and aroused by my helplessness. “But good.”
Theo touched my wrists lightly. “It’s about to get better.”
He ran his fingers down my arms, trailing to the points of my breasts. He took his time with them, squeezing and massaging the flesh, pushing them together. His eyes went dark at the cleavage they formed. It made my head go light to see how much I affected him.
Theo grew impatient suddenly, taking my knees in a firm grip. He parted them to reveal my pussy that was wet and aching for him. I knew from his entranced expression that he liked what he saw.
Feeling more daring in that moment, I parted my thighs wider, giving Theo a perfect view of what he wanted. I knew that I was wet for him, already soaking the curls there.
Theo watched my expression as he stroked me, building a slow fire that climbed. It burned hotter and hotter with the teasing of his finger, with every glide over my swollen, aching clit. I was panting in minutes.
“I adore the sounds you make,” he said in a low voice as he petted me. “I’d come running like a mindless bastard the moment I hear your moans.”
The image made me go hotter and wetter for him. Theo eased up on his knees and hooked my thighs around his waist.
I tightened my legs around him eagerly, impatient for him to finally come inside me.
But Theo was apparently into sexual torture.
“Not so fast,” he smiled. “I need you on the edge.”
My head fell back as the blunt head of his cock touched the sensitive skin of my inner thigh, just inches from where I wanted him. It was pure torture, being denied relief when it was so close.
“Put it in,” I panted. “Please.” My body arched helplessly as I tried to get closer to him, but Theo’s restraints on my wrists held fast, keeping me exactly where he wanted me. He was playing with me at his leisure, using me, and there was nothing I could do.
“Asshole.” I fell back in defeat, nearly shaking with need. “You’re the most annoying, frustrating—” I cried out when Theo thrust against my thigh, the blunt pressure pressing right next to where I needed him. “Asshole!” The denial was worse than not having it at all.
“Go ahead and scream,” Theo taunted. “There’s no one who can hear you.”
His slow smile made me even wetter. A new tension had come over him, simmering and hot.
The biceps on his arms bunched with effort as he held my hips still, and I realized that Theo was holding himself back too. A light sheen of perspiration had gathered on his abs, making the lines look like they were cut from granite. He was so damned sexy that even watching him was a torture in itself.
“I fantasize about you,” he said casually, taking my breast and testing its weight in his hands. I gasped as his fingers squeezed my nipple. “Every night, and every morning,” He smiled slowly, looking like an angel with a sinful secret. “I take you in my bed, over my desk, in every position conceivable. I fuck you so hard that you’re drunk on lust and insensible with pleasure.”
I swallowed audibly at the thought of Theo jerking himself off while thinking about me. I imagined him pumping his hand and spilling his cum all over as he groaned my name. A whimper escaped me at the image.
“Please,” I begged.
This time, Theo relented.
His hands left me, and I heard a rip of a condom wrapper. My hips arched, already anticipating him inside me, yearning for that hard thickness to fill me.
I got what I wanted when Theo positioned the head of his cock against my slick entrance. A low moan escaped me as the blunt thickness began to push into me. The insistent pressure was up against my inner muscles, and all I could feel was how big he was. My breaths were coming fast—I had never craved anyone one as much as I did Theo.
“More,” I whispered. “Faster.”
“Easy,” Theo murmured, taking his time to savor the moment like it was a treat for him. My inner passage began to clench from the prolonged torture, desperate for something to hold on to. I needed Theo. I needed him filling me to the brim, and I needed my pussy squeezing every inch of him.
“Please.” My arms were bound, but my hips weren’t. I rocked them against Theo, rubbing my core right on the length of him. “Now, please.”
Theo swore at the contact. The veins in his arms stood out with effort, every muscle in his body straining.
“You win,” he rasped. “You win.”
I nearly wept in relief as he gripped my hips and held me still for him. His eyes went heavy-lidded as he positioned himself right at the entrance of my core.
For a breathless moment our eyes met, and I saw how much this meant to him. More than any blowjob or dirty talking or bondage, this was Theo’s greatest fantasy—me.
Theo entered me in a slow, steady glide, burying himself inside me all the way to the hilt. I gasped in pleasure at the fullness of him, my hands twisting against the restraints that held fast.
He began to move, sliding out of me and thrusting all the way in again. His eyes never left mine, watching me for my reaction. He looked so determined to make this good for me that a giggle slipped out of me.
His lips twisted wryly. “You’re terrible for a man’s self-esteem, you know that? What are you laughing at?”
“Sorry, it’s just… you look so serious.”
“And you’re not serious enough. When I’m fucking you, I expect you to pay attention.” He punctuated that with a thrust so deep my body jerked upwards from the impact.
“Yes!” My head fell back in pleasure, and Theo pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the side of my neck as if he couldn’t go too long without tasting me. I wrapped my legs around him, silently demanding more.
Theo gave me what I needed, thrusting into me with deep, steady strokes that made my vision wink. His thickness filled me so completely that my mind went dark, feeling only the pleasure he gave me. It was like nothing I’d ever had.
I twisted against the bonds on my hands, desperate to touch him, but the tie held fast, arousing me with the blissful torture.
“I dreamed of this.” Theo worked his hips mercilessly as he thrust in and out of me, possessing every inch of my body. “Dreamed of fucking you as you moaned for me.”
I wanted to tell him the same, that he had raided my dreams and left me hot and wanting, but my words left my lips as pleas for more, faster, harder. Our bodies were slick with sweat, moving urgently as we fucked each other.
“Don’t stop,” I whispered. My eyes slid shut as I felt pleasure taking over my entire body. I felt my climax building, and soon, my whole body began to clench, reaching for the final explosion of ecstasy.
“Christ, I can feel you squeezing me.” Theo’s breathing came fast as he moved within me. His bicep muscles framed either side of my face, solid with tension. His cock swelled inside me, thrusting so hard the bed frame slammed against the wall.
“I’m coming.” My head fell back, eyes shut. “Theo, I’m coming—” I cried out loudly as my climax took over. “Theo, yes!”
My arms pulled against my bonds so hard it hurt. I wrapped my thighs around Theo, holding him inside me with my inner muscles. I gripped on to every inch of him, relishing his hardness filling me.
Theo’s expression went dark as I ground against him in my climax. He groaned, burying his face in the mattress beside me as he came in sharp, uncontrolled thrusts.
I couldn’t take my eyes away from Theo as he lost himself inside me. His hands gripped my hips as he thrust, sending sensation sweeping through my every nerve. I never felt more alive.
As we came down from the high, Theo collapsed into the bed beside me, breathing unsteadily. He took me in with an expression of wonder and shock.
“I know I’m good, but am I that good?” I joked weakly. My limbs were trembling, and I had all the energy of a wrung-out piece of laundry.
Theo tried to catch his breath as he discarded the condom and untied me. “You may have ruined me for anyone else.”
He lay back down beside me, touching the red marks on my wrists gently. “Did I hurt you?”
“In a good way,” I assured him.
He watched me with a look of contemplation, his brows slightly drawn. “You were the one tied up. Why did it feel like I was the one at your mercy?”
Because you’re in love with me.
Theo raised a brow at my secretive smile. “Say something I’d never expect you to say. Just so I know I’m not dreaming.”
“I like your ass.”
“I already know that.”
“I like your cock?”
“You’re real.”
I snickered, and Theo’s lips curved in that bittersweet way. He looked like he’d just fought a battle and wasn’t sure if he had won.
I bit my lip. “You don’t regret this, so you?”
“I’m reeling. You're in my arms, in my bed with me… I’ve just had my deepest fantasy come true.” Theo played with a lock of my hair, but that faint notch between his brows was still there.
“I’m not sure I should have done this,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to hurt you again.”
“You didn’t.”
Theo looked unconvinced, so I wound my hands around his neck and tugged him to me impulsively. Theo took me in his arms, pinning me into the bed and kissing me so thoroughly I couldn’t breathe.
I laughed when we finally came apart for air. Theo stared like he couldn’t look away from me.
“I seem to lose all my wits around you,” he mused.
“That’s nice to hear, but what will I do with you if you’re not witty anymore?”
“You’ll have this.” He urged his hips against mine. “I can’t speak for you, but I can think of a few uses for it.”
I snickered, my face growing hot as he began to grow hard again. This side of Theo was one I was surprised to see, but liked very much.
Theo’s lips curved as he watched me. Then he seemed to come to a decision.
He turned and reached for the side table by the bed, popping open a false bottom in the drawer.
My eyes went wide when he took out the flash drive.
“Will this make you happy?” he asked solemnly.
“It will.”
Not only because it would save the guys, but also because it would save Theo. Giving Estelle up was the first step in him letting go of the past and healing.
“Then it’s yours.” He dropped the flash drive into my hands.
I stared at it in disbelief.
Estelle’s confession. The guys’ freedom. I was literally holding it.
“I'll also give you her location. Ryland and the two idiots can rest easy now.”
Both Theo and I knew that doing this made him vulnerable. Without the confession hostage, there was nothing stopping any of the guys from turning him over to the authorities for helping Estelle.
For once in his life, Theo had nothing protecting him. He had only his trust in me.
“How does it feel?” I said softly, knowing how momentous this was.
“Terrifying,” Theo admitted. “I’m not sure I won’t regret it.”
“If that happens, I'll be there to tell you that you’re doing the right thing.” I bit my lip. “Just trust me, okay?”
He brushed aside the hair clinging to my cheeks, lingering to caress my skin.
“God help me, but I do,” he exhaled.
I smiled, lacing my arms around him. “Good.”
Theo’s walls were not completely down yet, but we were on our way there. It was a start.