Chapter Thirteen
Kaden
We walk into the little church and scoot into a pew in the back unseen. I recognize Emma and Jessica immediately. Jessica has grown up but still looks like the sweet little girl I used to see chatting with her dad during our deployments. Bryce looks happy. The happiest I’ve ever seen him. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so happy. The gruff exterior I was used to is replaced with emotions I can see pouring from him.
We watch as they exchange vows and rings, and I envision myself and Alyse one day doing the same. I feel almost like a voyeur and feel a little guilty for imposing on their special day. After the ceremony, the three of them sit down on the alter steps. I can’t hear what they are saying, but I don’t want to. I can tell by their faces that this is a special moment meant only for them.
“Man, Rigs. I feel bad for being here. I feel like I’m imposing,” I whisper.
“Yeah, I do too, but I want him to know that we are here for him. He struggled with his feeling for Emma, feeling like he was betraying Jon. I want him to know we support this,” Rigs whispers back.
As they stand and walk down the aisle, Bryce makes eye contact with us. He stops dead in his tracks. I hear Jessica say, “What’s Rigs doing here and who’s that sitting next to him?”
“You didn’t think we miss this, did you? I know you wanted small, but we didn’t think you’d mind two more,” Rigs says, standing and holding out this hand.
I see Bryce’s eyes water up a little as he pulls Rigs in for a hug. He reaches for me and pulls me into a hug next.
“Fuck, dude. I’m so sorry. I was in a bad place. Please forgive me. You are my brother, and I’ve missed the fuck out of you,” he whispers in my ear.
Immediately turning around, he introduces me, “Jessica and Emma, meet Spanks.”
“I went back to Kaden. But you can call me whatever you want. It’s so nice to finally meet you both,” I say, giving them both hugs.
“Well, we aren’t doing a reception, obviously, but I’d love for you both to come back to our place and hang out for a while. You girls okay with that?” Bryce asks.
They both agree so we head out of the church and into our cars. I still feel like I’m imposing, but I want a chance to talk with Bryce. Seeing him again brings back the feelings of loss that I felt, and I want to know that he’s going to be around in the future.
We pull up to a beautiful house set in the middle of trees on a side of a hill. There’s nothing else around. I can see Bryce hunkering up and hiding away from the world here. I heard that he lost his leg, but you really can’t tell.
Emma starts pulling things out of the fridge to make sandwiches. Bryce pulls me out to the back deck.
“Do you hate me?” Bryce says as he walks to the railing and rests his forearms on them.
“I wouldn’t be here if I hated you. I miss you, man. I was overwhelmed when I found Rigs and found out that he had found you. I can’t believe that I landed yesterday from an eighteen-month tour just in time to see my brother marry his girl. I knew, you know?” I say.
“You knew what?” Bryce asks, still leaning over the railing.
“I knew that you had feelings for Emma. I saw it as clear as day. Every time Jon would talk to her, you would take off and fuck some random chick. I also saw the guilt. I wasn’t sure if you just wanted what they had or more. I never judged you. I tried to put myself in your shoes, but I couldn’t. I wanted so bad to help you, but I knew you wouldn’t let me. The hardest thing was when I couldn’t find you. When the phone call I tried to place was met with a disconnected number, I felt lost.
“I understand why. I do. It was hard, though. They didn’t tell me shit. I knew you were alive. That was about it. That doesn’t matter now, man. I just want to know that you are happy and that you will be part of my life in the future. You are my brother. You taught me so many things. Hell, dude. I lost my virginity thanks to you. You built up my self-esteem and I’ll be forever grateful.” I mimic him by leaning over the railing next to him.
“I can’t make it up to you. I just ask for your forgiveness. I promise I’m in a good place and won’t let it happen again,” he says, looking over at me.
“I have a son,” I blurt out.
“What the fuck, man? Ummm…congratulations?” Bryce says, standing up.
“Long story, but man. I believe in fate. It was a chance encounter that led me to Rigs and then led me to you. I think I love her. She has a little diner right outside of town,” I say.
“The subs. Rigs brings them every time he’s in town. Damn those are good shit,” Bryce says, smiling.
“Yeah. You should try the fried chicken. Anyways, I’m being deployed again for three months. Then my enlistment is up. I have three months until that happens, but I’m three hours away. I’ll be here on weekends, but I would love to know someone is looking out for her and K.C.,” I say.
“Let’s make plans for you to bring them over next weekend for a cookout. I got your six, man,” Bryce says, laying his hand on my shoulder and giving it a squeeze.
“Appreciate it. Also, if you know of any land going up for sale, whether Alyse and I end up together or not, I want to be close to my son. I’d like to put down some roots and I really love it here,” I say, looking out across the woods and hills.
“I may know of an acre or two,” Bryce says, winking.
“What’s with the wink?” I ask.
“Between my place and my neighbors, I think there is around twenty acres. I may be able to hook you up,” he replies. “Looks like Emma has the food ready. Let’s go back in.”
“Okay and thanks, Bryce. I’d like to get the ball rolling soon so I have a place to come to when I leave the military,” I say, following him inside.
“I’ll have something for you by next weekend,” he says over his shoulder.
“Shit, man. You two just got married and here we are invading your space,” I say, looking around the room.
“The way I look at it, it’s merely an impromptu reception,” Emma says, shrugging her shoulders.
“Does that mean I can shove one of those cream filled cupcakes in your face later?” Bryce says, laughing.
“Oh, the response I could come back with but won’t. We have company, Beast,” Emma says with a slight growl to her voice.
“Damn, now I do feel like we are in the way,” I say, feeling a little embarrassed to witness the looks they are giving each other right now.
We all fix our plates and proceed to eat around the table. Bryce, Rigs, and I quickly fall back into our old banter of jokes and ribbing each other. My stomach hurts from all the laughing.
After we finish eating, Emma comes over and sits on Bryce’s lap. They start whispering and making faces at one another. I’m starting to feel like a third wheel.
Thankfully, Rigs speaks up.
“So, I think we should get going,” Rigs says. “We’ve over stayed our welcome.”
“Gross, please don’t leave me alone with these two. Rigs, can you drop me over at Gracie’s? I was supposed to go over later for the night, but I’m sure she won’t mind if I come early. Especially if I tell her why,” Jessica whines.
“Sure, I wouldn’t want to be here either. Come on,” Rigs responds. “Later, love birds.”
We get barely a response from either of them. With Rigs and I laughing and Jessica making noises of disgust, we all leave the house.
I can’t wipe the smile off my face. I feel whole again and so much more.
Rigs drops off Jessica, and I’m in awe of the farm. “This backs Bryce’s property?”
“Yeah. Amazing isn’t it? I’ve thought about moving here myself, but my son wouldn’t be too happy about it. Maybe once he graduates. I tried to tell him that football was better in these parts, but he has all his friend that he doesn’t want to leave as well,” Rigs says
“I would have given anything to move when I was in high school. I’m sure he’s one of the cool kids, though. So, I guess I get it,” I reply.
We get back to the diner and walk in so Rigs can get his road subs. Alyse is behind the counter already preparing them.
“I wasn’t sure when you’d get back, but I figured you would be wanting some subs as usual. Perfect timing,” she says as a greeting.
I see K.C. in this contraption that is hanging from the doorway. He’s bouncing away and giggling.
“There’s my boy. Hey, little man,” I say as I round the counter.
The way his face lights up when he sees me gives me the best feeling. I pick him up and give him a kiss, walking over to give Alyse one as well.
“How did it go?” she ask.
“Really great. They want us to come over next weekend for a cookout. Do you think we can?” I ask.
“Of course. I’d love to meet them. I’m so happy for you, Kaden,” she says with a caring smile. “Are you hungry? I can whip you up a sub, too.”
“I actually ate,” I say, bouncing K.C. in my arms.
“Oh, okay. I’m a little hungry,” she says.
“Then eat, babe. I’ll just have some soda,” I encourage.
Alyse finished up the subs and we both hug and say goodbye to Rigs. I take K.C. over and sit down at a table. She pulls over a high chair and gets K.C. situated. Fixing a plate of food, she comes over and sits down with us.
I tell her about the conversation with Bryce as she breaks off little pieces of chicken for K.C. I become more fascinated with how Alyse eats and feeds him at the same time. I listen as she talks about how their afternoon went as she seems to build a rhythm. Bite of mashed potatoes for K.C., bite of chicken for her.
“Kaden?” she says, chuckling. “You zoned out there.”
“Sorry. I like watching you. You always seem to have a certain rhythm to your movements. Like the first time I walked in here and you were slapping the meat and cheese down to the exact beat of the drums of the song that was playing,” I say.
“I don’t even realize I do it,” she says, laughing.
“It’s cute,” I reply.
Sitting there with her and my son, I feel content. There’s nothing nagging in the back of my head making me feel self-conscious. I’m not uncomfortable or feel like I’m boring her with my useless facts. She stays attentive and engaging while making sure K.C. is taken care of and included.
I still have the rest of the week off. Only seeing them on the weekend is going to be tough. I don’t even want to think about being away for three months.
“So,” I hesitantly start.
“So,” Alyse says, giving me her full attention.
“I talked with my parents on the way back today. I wanted to give them a heads up and find out when they were going to be home. My mom wanted me to bring you two today.” I laugh. “I calmed her down enough for her to accept us coming tomorrow as long as I sent her pictures.”
“Oh my God. Okay, I can do this. We have to do this. Tomorrow, huh? My palms are sweaty all of a sudden,” she says, wiping them on the front of her pants.
“It’ll be okay, Alyse. They are going to love you and K.C.,” I say, holding out my hand to her.
She tentatively takes it and squeezes. “I’m still going to be nervous no matter what you say.”
“One day at a time. Together.” I say, squeezing back.
She repeats it back to me and takes a deep breath.
♦♦♦
We pack up a few things and start the drive back to my hometown. I made her pack an overnight bag just in case. I have a feeling my parents are not going to want to let us leave. It’s a pretty good drive of five hours, so I think it would be best if we kept our options open.
The closer we get, the more jittery Alyse becomes. I place my hand on her knee to stop the bouncing. “Babe, you are making me nervous.”
“I’m sorry. I think I’m more worried to meet them then I was telling you about K.C.,” Alyse says.
“Take a deep breath. We are almost there,” I say, taking the exit.
It’s been a while since I’ve been in my hometown. There’s a new Walmart and shopping plaza where the old movie theatre used to be. I almost don’t recognize anything.
I turn down the street my childhood home sits on and everything becomes familiar. I start pointing out things to Alyse. The little park where I used to sit and read. That is until I started to get picked on.
Pulling into the driveway of the simple two-story colonial style home, I see my mom peek around the front window curtain.
I can see her shadow as she quickly jumps off of what I know is the couch and rushes to the door. The door flies open and she stops on the concrete porch bouncing on her toes. My dad joins her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders stopping her movements.
I squeeze Alyse’s knee in reassurance before getting out of the car. I’m engulfed in my mom’s arms before I fully stand.
“Welcome home! My baby boy. It’s so good to have you home. Oh, my goodness. Is that him?” My mom says, pushing me aside and waving to K.C. in the back seat.
I watch as K.C. smiles and waves back. He’s such a happy baby and not quite leery of strangers just yet.
Alyse is currently getting him out of his car seat from the other side of the car. My mom starts to try to round the car, but I stop her.
“Mom, don’t smother her, please. She’s a little nervous,” I whisper.
In typical Mom fashion, she scoffs and continues to move around the car. I see Alyse put on a smile as my mom throws her arms around both of them rocking them back and forth.
My dad comes down off the porch and gives me a hug. “She was up this morning as soon as the sun came up. She’s been driving me crazy all day. How are you, son?”
“I’m good, Dad. Can we go in and get comfortable? I need to use the bathroom, and I’m sure Alyse does as well,” I say, looking at her still being swayed back and forth by my mom.
I see her look up and nod her head. “Laura. Let the poor girl go. She needs to pee, for crying out loud. They’ve been on the road for a while.”
“Oh hush, Ed. I know. Come inside. I’ll show you the bathroom. Can I hold him? Will he come to me?” my mom asks, letting Alyse go and holding out her hands to K.C.
He ignores my mom and calls for me reaching around her. My mom looks a little hurt as I scoop him up and follow my dad into the house.
“Give him time, Mom. He needs to get familiar. Whew, buddy. Smells like he needs changed, too,” I say, scrunching up my nose.
K.C. eventually warms up to both my mom and dad. Trying to explain to them how this all happened was a little awkward. Alyse, being the better communicator, took the lead. She pretty much just laid it out as honest as she could. She said she felt something as soon as I walked into her deli. That she just knew her life was going to change forever. My mom seemed to hang on her every word. I could see her eyes light up as she looked between the two of us. My mom is a sucker for romance. I just sat there and smiled, nodding my head.
I let my mom take my usual duties of helping get K.C. bathed and put down to sleep. We brought a pack and play for him to sleep in beside my childhood bed.
I sat out on the back deck drinking a beer with my dad. We were just shooting the shit when he says, “Proud of you. I knew you would be a good father, but the way you just stepped up without questions, makes me even prouder. He’s definitely yours, though. No question. Make sure that Alyse knows she can visit anytime while you are deployed. In fact, if she doesn’t mind, we may just come up and pay a visit. I know your mom will be having grandbaby withdrawals as soon as you all leave.”
“I’ll tell her. Thanks, Dad,” I say.
I proceed to tell him about finding Rigs and Bryce and how Alyse and K.C. are icing on the cake. Alyse and my mom show up with wine glasses in their hands and each taking a seat. I watch my girl laugh and talk with my mom. The air feels lighter. My breathing clear. I finally feel like things are going in my favor for once.
Heading up to bed, Alyse walks around my old bedroom. It’s still the way I left it when I headed off to boot camp. She snickers at the family photos, pointing out my nerd clothes.
“You look so young. Still handsome, though. I can’t believe you never had a girlfriend in high school. Stupid girls had no idea what kind of gem you were. I can see K.C. in this picture. How old were you?” she asks.
“I think around eight or nine. That was around the time I stopped fitting in,” I respond, looking at the picture.
“I can tell almost when things changed for you,” Alyse says.
“What do you mean?”
“Your eyes. You can see the older you get, the smile is there, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. They seem to get darker as the years progress, too. I wonder if K.C.’s will turn brown,” she responds, looking up at me.
“I hope not. I love the color of his eyes. They are a combination of us,” I say, putting my arm around her and giving her shoulder a squeeze.
♦♦♦
The next day we head back home. My mom is in tears and Alyse is a little glassy eyed as well. We promised to all keep in touch. Alyse whispers something in my mom’s ear and I see her nod and smile.
My family. My girl. I couldn’t be happier.