Chapter Two
Alyse
Iwake up from a wonderful dream. At least I think it was a dream. Did that really happen? I reach over and the bed is empty beside me. Must have been a dream. Most freaking wonderful dream I’ve ever had.
I roll out of bed and head to the shower when I realize there’s evidence of sex between my legs. Oh, fuck. It wasn’t a dream. Shit, we didn’t use a condom. Just great. The first ever one-night stand and I forget to make him wear protection.
It feels kind of good being bad, but now I’m worried about the consequences. I’m not on any kind of birth control. It’s not needed when you don’t have sex. After my shower, I head directly into the kitchen to the calendar. When was my last period? Great. Fourteen days ago.
Should I go and get the day after pill? What if he has some kind of disease? I can’t believe I was so stupid.
I notice my notepad on the coffee table and see there’s something written on it. I slowly move towards it.
He left me a note and it’s sort of sweet. At least he seems to have some kind of morals. I didn’t even know his name, but I do now.
Kaden.
Military, huh? But he had a beard. I didn’t think they were allowed beards. I think about last night and how he made me feel. He had this incredible body, full sleeve of tattoos, and a smooth bald head. There were no words between us the entire time, but our bodies seemed to communicate on another level.
I shudder as I feel myself getting turned on again. Glancing at the clock, I realize I’ve been standing completely naked, clutching my notebook for the last twenty minutes. I need to get a move on and get the diner opened. Shit, I didn’t even finish mopping last night.
I get started for the day ahead and get the rest of the cleaning done in the diner before I need to open. I can’t stop thinking about Kaden. The day goes by in a blur. I don’t even hear my employee Britany come in later that afternoon.
“Hey Boss Lady, what’s with the stupid grin on your face?” she asks.
“Oh hey! Just a good day. That’s all. How was school?” I respond.
“I can’t wait till it’s over. Coming here is my favorite part of the day,” she laughs.
“Oh yeah, sure. You jest, but I enjoy having you helping me out here, you know,” I say, starting to prep for the next day.
“I really do love working here. I’ll start cleaning up,” she says as she heads to the bathrooms first.
Finding Britany has been a godsend. She only works evenings and weekends because of school, but she helps out a lot. I’m going to miss her when she graduates and goes off to college.
♦♦♦
After the third positive pregnancy test, I’m a blubbering mess on the floor of my bathroom. I reach for my phone and call my best friend, Willow.
I can barely get out the words as she answered the phone. “W…w…wills,” I blubber.
“Babe, what’s wrong? Breath. Do I need to call 911?” Willow asks quickly.
“No…no…I just need you, please.” I finally calm down a little, not wanting her to call for an emergency.
“I’m on my way, honey. Hang in there,” she says through the phone.
Willow is here in minutes, pulling me into her arms, and wiping my face with a wet washcloth.
“Well, I guess I don’t need to ask what is going on,” she says, pulling a test out of my hands. “This may seem like a stupid question. I mean, I know how this works, but how did this happen?”
“I was stupid. I wasn’t thinking, obviously. I don’t even know how to explain it,” I say, crossing my legs and wrapping my arms around myself.
“Start from the beginning,” she says, rubbing my arms as she sits in front of me.
“He was a customer. Just passing through. Oh, Willow. He was a dream and I got caught up in it. I’ve never done anything like this before in my whole life. But there was something about him that drew me in. I was cleaning the floors and this song came on. He got up and came over and started dancing with me. It was the sweetest thing, ever. We mopped the floor together as we danced. Corny, maybe, but wow. There was this immediate connection. The next thing I knew I was practically dragging him out the back door and up to my apartment. It felt so right, Willow. I know it sounds weird, but I can’t tell you how amazing he made me feel. In the morning, he was gone, but he left me a note. I didn’t even know his name until I read it. Shit, Willow, what do I tell this baby? How do I explain to them how this has happened?”
“So, you are keeping it? Sorry, that didn’t come out right,” Willow says.
“Yes, I’m keeping it. I don’t care what people might say. I would never do that anyways. It’s not this baby’s fault their mother had a lapse of judgement. Besides, I don’t know, it’s like it’s fate or something. Again, call me weird, but as upset as I am and clueless on how I’m going to do this, I want this baby. There is a reason this happened.” I let out a sigh.
“Well then, I’m happy for you and will be with you through this journey. The whole way. You’ll get through it. You are an amazing person and will be an amazing mom,” Willow says, holding out her hands as she stands.
I take them and pull myself up. “I’m going to be okay. I have a little human growing inside me. It’s not about my needs anymore. It’s all about this little one from here on out.”
“I love you, chica, you got this. It’s no one’s business anyway. Women are allowed to have babies on their own. It happens all the time. Auntie Willow loves this baby already.” She ends the last part in a baby voice, talking directly to my stomach.
“I don’t know whether to hit you or hug you,” I say, pushing her jokingly. “Thank you for coming so quickly. I love you, too.”
“See, you got this. You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. You run a diner all by yourself, which by the way, you are going to need help now. Regardless, I have faith you can do anything you put your mind to,” Willow says, giving me a hug.
“Yeah, I’m going to have to definitely need help. The trouble is, I’m just barely surviving. These corporate chains are killing me slowly. I succeed because I don’t have the overhead of a lot of staff. Not that I’m so busy I need it,” I say, going to my laptop sitting on my dining room table.
“I have to crunch some numbers, but my head just isn’t in it. I need to make a doctor’s appointment. Shit, there’s so many things I need to do.” I feel the weight hit my chest again and I fight to not break down.
“Take a deep breath. Let me help. I may just be a nurse, but I run that entire floor. I know a little bit about organizing and scheduling. I’m also under a strict budget, so I know how to work those numbers, too. Make the appointment and let me handle some things for you. I have a ton of leave and since I don’t have a life, I’ll be there every step of the way. I’ll lose it if I don’t use it. You are my girl. My sister from another mister and really the only family I have, so whether you want me or not, you got me. Now move aside and let the master do her thing,” Willow says, pushing me out of the way. She sits down and logs into my computer.
“How the hell do you know my password? What is happening here?” I say, watching her go directly to my accounting software and start to pull up random reports.
“Seriously? Your password has been the same since I’ve known you and passwords were required. Go. Call the doctor and let me be,” she says, laughing.
Somehow, she found enough funds to pay for a manager at a pretty competitive wage. Even knowing that I will have a lot of baby expenses, I think I’ll be able to do it. Luckily, my grandparents got into great insurance early on that I’m actually invested in and get great coverage. Willow even went the extra mile and posted an ad on a free job site.
With a doctor’s appointment scheduled, I look over a few applicants that have already started coming into my email. I got this. With Willow by my side, I grow even more confident that there’s nothing that will get in my way.
Chapter Three
Kaden
One month done and seventeen more to go. We’ve only made one flight into non-hostile territory. The flashback and nightmares come back in full force. I try to concentrate on the memory of Alyse’s green eyes and smile, but the screaming and flashes of that night overpower me.
I’m trying to keep my mind busy by studying different languages. I think it’s incredible that Alyse knows so many. We’ve been stuck in Germany the past few weeks. These planes are constantly breaking down. This time the part that went bad isn’t being manufactured any longer. So, while we wait for someone to make one, we sit. We’ve been able to leave base though, which is helping me learn German and French. Nothing like practicing on the locals. I don’t know why I never thought of studying a language before. I’m picking up on it really quickly. I took Latin in high school. Everyone thought it was lame, but it’s really the core of all languages and helps even more in understanding.
My brain has been on overload. I’m not sleeping very well. My flashbacks and memories of Alyse have seemed to start melding together. I woke screaming the other night when her face and screams replaced the ones of Bryce and Jon.
I wish I had a picture of her. The diner has a website, but there are only images of food and such. None of Alyse. I have the diner set as my home page when I launch the browser window. I look at the “contact us” link each time, too.
I’ve thought about sending her a letter. Do people even mail letters anymore? Each time I try to start, I can’t think of anything to say. An email would be quicker, though. I keep getting this feeling like I’m missing something. You know that feeling when you leave the house and you feel like you forgot to turn off the iron? It’s like that.
Sitting up in my bunk, I grab for my laptop and launch the browser. Once the home page loads, I sit and stare at the rolling images and smile at the one with the fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and macaroni and cheese. My stomach immediately lets out a growl. My hand is starting to shake as I roll the mouse over the information section. I read over the history faithfully on every visit to the page.
Originally owned and operated by Charles and Mildred “Millie” Dawson and handed down to their granddaughter, Alyse, when they retired and moved to Arizona. Alyse carries on the tradition of serving homemade meals with a daily special.
There is an email address at the bottom of the page. It’s a generic one with the store name. I hover over it for a few minutes trying to decide what I should do.
Before I lose my courage, I copy and paste the address into my section of a new email.
From: [email protected]
Alyse,
I hope you are doing well. I thought about you today and decided to send you an email. I hope it gets to you okay. I’m currently in Germany with a broken-down plane. But guess what? J'apprends le français. Ich lerne auch Deutsch. You’ve inspired me to learn new languages. It helps that I’m currently in Germany and close enough to France to take a day trip every once in a while. Anyway, hope to hear back from you.
Take care,
Kaden
I hit send, thinking how stupid that must have sounded. I wish I had some of my old buddies around to get some advice from. My new crew has been really great, but I’ve never been able to confide in them like I did with Bryce. They are great guys, but guys none the less. The ones that hide behind the constant jokes in order to cover their insecurities.
I decide to take a walk and stretch my legs. As I round the outside of the CHU, I spot a group of guys playing football. It’s nighttime, but there are flood lights blazing into the common area.
I stop to take in the game. I’ve always wanted to play. I feel like I should have the ability. I have the stamina now and I have a pretty good physique, but I’ve never got over my own insecurities.
As I am standing and watching, I get a glimpse of a man who is huddled down giving out the next play. Holy shit. Is that…
Without even hesitation, I shout out, “Sporto!” His head pops up and I get a surprised look, then one of recognition.
The next thing that happens makes me take off running. Sporto drops the football and starts walking away from me. His pace begins to quicken when he realizes I’m running after him.
“What the fuck, dude? Why are you running from me?” I say as catch up to him. I stop him by placing my hand on his shoulder. I can feel his quick intake and release of breaths.
“Don’t,” is all he seems to be able to get out.
“Don’t what? I have no idea what is happening here right now. Did I do something to you? Damn it! Sporto, what’s the fuck is wrong?”
He keeps his back to me and shakes his head back and forth. “You act like you are happy to see me…”
“Why wouldn’t I be? I miss you, man. I haven’t been able to get in touch with anyone from the old unit. I miss my brothers,” I say, squeezing his shoulder.
“I thought you were smarter than that. Let me go, man,” he says, trying to free himself from my grip.
“You are making zero sense and you are starting to piss me off,” I respond, trying to step around in front of him.
“You should be pissed off. Man, I can’t do this. Would you let go of me?” He looks everywhere but at me, trying hard not to make eye contact.
With all my strength, I use both hands to stop his head from moving. “Look at me, damn it. What the fuck?”
Slowly, Sporto’s eyes meet mine. And instead of unfounded hatred I’m afraid to see or understand, I’m met with the most tormented eyes. Eyes that seem to be filled with guilt along with unsurmountable pain.
“Fuck, dude.” I do the only thing I can think of as I quickly pull him into a hug. “What happened? What am I missing?”
I feel him dig his fingers into the back of my field jacket as he starts to shake. “It’s all my fault, man. I should have been able to stop it. That was my only fucking job, and I couldn’t stop it.”
I feel his legs go out from under him. I can’t hold him up any longer, so I let us both sink down to the ground, never letting him go.
“I don’t understand, Sporto. You aren’t making any sense,” I whisper. “Wait. Are you talking about the attack? How can you blame yourself for that happening?”
“Not for what happened, for not stopping it. I have never missed a shot. Have never had someone get the jump on me. I missed it. I didn’t do my job. I hesitated when I saw a fleck of movement in the hills. A millisecond that I couldn’t spare and it cost Jon and others their lives. I wanted to be punished, but instead I got a handshake for taking the terrorists out. I should have had them before they even had a chance to launch. I fucked up, man. You should hate me,” he ends on a growl.
“You are an excellent sniper. I’m not even going to try to make you feel better because I know you, man. You won’t listen and expect perfection. I get it. But listen to me. I never blamed you. I don’t think anyone would ever blame you. You are our brother. You are one person. There were fifteen of them. It could have been worse, man. You saved so many more lives than what was lost. You did that. Single handed,” I say, cupping his head by his ear.
“Fuck. Do you know how many times I’ve heard that?” he asks, running the palms of his hands through his short-cropped hair. “I almost believe it coming from you.”
“You should, and I’m sure I’m not the only one that feels that way, man.” I say, standing and holding out my hand.
Sporto takes it and pulls himself up. “I’ve missed you. Shit, I really didn’t think I’d ever see you again. Fuck, I was so scared of seeing any of you again. I really thought I’d get laid out.”
“I’ve seen you hit. I wouldn’t have taken the chance even if I was mad. But again, I’m not. I’ve been going crazy not knowing where everyone was and if they were okay. Shit, I was starting to get a complex I was being avoided on purpose…other than because of your reasons. I thought it was because of me.”
“You are one of the goofiest men I’ve ever met, but you’ll always be my brother. I’m sorry. I’m just so sorry,” he says, starting to pace.
“Forgiven, okay. Look at me, I’m good. I just want my boys back. Let’s go grab a water or coffee and catch up,” I say, turning and walking toward the mess hall.
I look back to see him letting out a breath and start following me while still looking at his feet. One brother found, only a few more to go. I’m figuring I won’t get any information from him, though. He was ignoring all of us on purpose.
We spend the next hour laughing and joking like old times. I make sure I get contact information this time around. He promises to answer his phone and emails as we part ways.
Sporto’s deployment is almost up as well as his enlistment. He told me he’s getting out for good. Going to travel the states for a while before he figures out where he wants to settle down.
At least this time, I know I’ll see him again.
♦♦♦
It’s been another month. I haven’t received anything back from Alyse. I still have this weird feeling in my gut that I’m missing something. I guess if she were pregnant, she would have answered me by now. At least I would hope.
♦♦♦
Six months and still no a response from Alyse. I’ve sent a few more basically lame messages. I’m trying not to sound too desperate. I’m about to give up. I guess she isn’t as interested in me as I am in her. I don’t know what I expected. Even with the chemistry seeming to be off the charts, maybe it was all just one sided.