Three years ago
MY HEAD FALLS FORWARD, LANDING on his chest.
“You close, baby?”
“Mmm.”
His chest vibrates with laughter, and he squeezes my ass before sliding his hand up and fisting my hair. With a gentle tug, he pulls my head back and holds his lips over mine. His fingers work their magic, pressing, twisting, teasing, pumping until I’m up on my toes.
“Jay.”
He’s playing with me. Figuratively and literally.
“I’m right here, love.” His breath mingles with mine.
Just when I think I can’t take anymore, he presses his thumb to my clit and slams his mouth to mine, swallowing my cries of ecstasy.
When my toes lose their strength and I fall back to my flat feet, my knees wobble, but Jay steadies me and reaches down to yank my pants back up. I wrap my arms around his neck and catch my breath then pull back and kiss his cheek. “Hey, Blue Jay.”
“Hi, Butterfly.”
I knew he was coming to pick me up from work tonight, but I didn’t exactly know what time. He picked me up from my apartment during his shift today and brought me here, but before that, I hadn’t seen him for two days. Way too long. So as soon as he arrived tonight, I jumped him. Shamelessly. It’s just what he does to me every time I see him.
“Let me run to the bathroom real quick.” He kisses the top of my head, and I reluctantly step back and sit behind my desk.
My teeth bite into my bottom lip as I watch his sexy ass walk out of my office. He comes back a few minutes later, kisses the top of my head again, and then sits in the chair across from me. Working with Jay sitting in my office is so distracting. His presence surrounds me, and even if he’s not looking at me, I feel like he’s always watching me, which sounds way creepier than it makes me feel.
I’m lucky as hell that I have a man who comes to my job and waits for me to finish work just to drive me home. I work at the Corner Bar & Banquet as the banquet manager, organizing parties and events. I really want to open my own wedding planning business, and although this isn’t the perfect job to get me to that place, it’s at least a stepping stone.
While the bar is in the front of the building, I’m in the back, across from the banquet hall. There’s an event going on right now, so while they’re still here, I try to get caught up on invoices and reminder emails.
But then I remember Jay’s hands were just down my pants twenty minutes ago, and my face heats. He brings out something in me that nobody else has ever been able to coax out. In fact, over the past two years we’ve been together, he’s brought out many things in me that I didn’t even know I possessed.
I had no clue I could laugh so much. No idea my heart could feel full enough to burst. Never felt a fear so deep thinking about losing someone. I’m very close with my family. My three younger sisters are my world. My parents are my role models. I’m blessed. Beyond.
But Jay… he’s it. He’s what completes me. He’s the one. We’re not married yet, but he’s already my better half. Every day with him gives me nothing but happiness. And I look forward to having even more perfect days with him. I want the rest of all my days with the man of my dreams.
As I’m finishing up with some emails, there’s a knock immediately followed by the door opening. The gentleman who rented out the hall tonight sticks his head in to smile at me and then walks in. “Hello.”
“Hi, Gary.” I find his invoice on the top of the stack of papers on my desk and hand it to him.
Just as I give him his bill, he holds up a check and chuckles, his salt and pepper hair shaking on the top of his head. “We’ve done this dance a time or two.”
“This is true.” I double check the amount of the check even though I know it’ll be correct before quickly marking the invoice paid and reprinting it. While this is happening, I glance up and see Jay looking at Gary not so kindly.
“Jay, this is Gary. Gary, my boyfriend, Jay.”
Gary sticks his hand out, and while Jay doesn’t get up, he shakes it nonetheless. “Nice to meet you.” This coming from Gary while Jay grunts at him.
“Gary’s the owner of the Maple Leaf Credit Unions, and he’s a repeat customer.”
“You’re a gem to work with, dear. Makes it easy to get me to bring my company back.”
I swipe his updated invoice off the printer and smile as I hand it to him. “I’m glad you think so.”
In exchange for the invoice, he slides a hundred dollars in my hand. I try to protest, but he uses his other hand and covers mine. “You deserve it.” He gives a squeeze before backing up. “See you in a few months, Livvie, and th—”
“Olive,” Jay interrupts. “Her name is Olive.”
I shoot Jay a look to tell him to shut the hell up, but he’s not giving me any of his attention. Instead, he’s still glaring at the older man.
Gary’s eyes widen, but he remains professional. “I apologize. Olive. See you in a few months.”
“Yes. Please let me know if you need anything before then.”
“I will.” He nods at me before walking out and shutting the door behind him.
“What was that?” I hiss at Jay.
“Does he always walk in like that?”
“He knocked.”
“No, babe. When you knock, you wait for someone to invite you in. What if he’d come in twenty minutes ago when my hand was inside your pants? Someone walks in on us and sees you how only I get to, I won’t be a happy man.”
I sigh and tuck the tip money from Gary into my back jeans pocket. I’ve continually tried to refuse it, but he always insists. My paycheck comes from the banquet earnings of the bar, and I’m paid at a really nice hourly rate, so I don’t need tips like the front end does. “We’ve been working together a long time, and he—”
“We’ve been together two years, Livvie. Never met him before. And I don’t like the fact that he walks in your office where, if I weren’t here, you’d be alone. I don’t like that he called you Livvie, and I definitely don’t like that he slides you a Benjamin.” Of course, he noticed that. Can’t get anything past the guy. He stands and runs a hand through his hair. “Clay and I are having a conversation.”
Quickly, I rush from behind my desk and block the door. “You are not talking to my boss about this.”
“Love spending as much time with you as I can wherever I can. Even if that means sittin’ in here while you work. But when I’m not here, Clay needs to have a man watching you.”
Here he goes again, Mr. Overprotective. “It’s fine, Jay. I’m fine. I’ve worked here going on four years, and nothing’s happened the entire time.”
“It can, though.” The hint of fear in his voice always gets me. I know why he cares. I understand that on top of being in law enforcement, he’s witnessed the aftermath of an assault on his sister. And I love him for it; I really do. Because I know that I’m always safe with him… in more ways than one.
But on this, I’m asking him to back off. “Please, Jay. I organize events and cater to mostly work functions or birthday parties. Sometimes it’s even a baby shower. I’ve never felt scared and never needed a bouncer back here. I promise if I felt like I did, I’d say something.”
He cracks his knuckles then runs his nose against mine. “Fine.”
I’m not stupid. I know he’s going to talk to Clay anyway. “Thanks, honey.” I put my hands on his stubble then kiss him. “Let me finish up here.”
“Take your time.” He grabs the back of my neck and kisses the top of my head before walking out where he props a leg on the wall and waits for me.
Is he irrational sometimes? Yes. But I have an irrational fear of birds, and he still loves me. Relationships are all about give and take. He takes my safety to an extreme, and I’m okay with it because he gives me his heart. I know his heart has been through the wringer, so I’m honored he picked me to help him put it back together again.
I close down my computer and lock my office then meet him in the hallway where his hand immediately goes for mine. When we get to the main bar, I walk behind it and hand Clay the check from Gary. “Thanks, Liv.”
“No problem. See you guys tomorrow.”
“Bye, Liv.” Allie wiggles her fingers at me from the end of the bar after she serves a drink.
Jay wraps his arm around my waist and leads me outside to his Tahoe where he helps me in. The drive to my place isn’t that far, and once we’re inside, I head directly for the shower while Jay whips up some dinner.
We have a routine now. It took a little while to perfect, but now we’re a well-oiled machine. I always offer to cook something, but Jay either makes or orders food himself because he wants to spend as much alone time with me as he can.
So by the time I get out of the shower and put on my pajamas, he’s got a glass of wine and some chicken and rice in a bowl waiting for me on the coffee table. He’s eating his own and sipping on a beer.
Once I sit down, I hit play on the show he pulled up on the TV. We take turns picking out a series and watch an episode every night as we eat dinner and wind down from the day. I snuggle into him as I eat, sitting beside him but not nearly close enough. Especially since these couple of hours at the end of the day are about the only time we get alone.
Sometimes we go to his house, too. But when we do, his sister, Mellie, is there. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, because I really do like her. She’s younger than I am, but we get along great. It’s just that we can never be alone there since she very rarely leaves the house. So Jay and I always spend our alone time here. Plus, he doesn’t want me to have to get up and leave, especially in the winter when it’s cold out.
Our schedules don’t match up often. He works first shift, and I usually don’t start work until three or so, just when he gets off. Unless, of course, he’s working overtime. Weekends are my busiest time and usually his slowest. It sucks, but we make it work as best we can.
However, knowing my favorite part of the day is arriving shortly, I tingle in anticipation. Desire surges through me, warming my skin, and butterflies flutter around my stomach in excitement.
I try to sit still and show restraint, but I’m impatient. We only have about fifteen minutes left of this show, and I’m literally counting the seconds in my head. Jay’s cool as a cucumber next to me. His eyes are on the screen while I keep glancing at him, hoping to find the heat in his face that I feel in mine.
My left arm wraps around his torso, and I throw my left knee over his bent legs. I’m not at the right angle, but I don’t want to look desperate even though that’s exactly how I feel… how I always feel when he’s near. Subconsciously, I flex my hips. My fingers twist in his shirt, and I raise my head so my lips skim his neck.
“What are you doin’, Livvie?”
“Snuggling.”
He tosses his head back and laughs. A sound that hits me right in my heart. A beautiful noise, rare and precious. My man carries around a world of problems on his shoulders. Worries about the safety of the women in his life. The sanity of his sister. The future of us. He takes such good care of me that I fear he’s neglecting himself in the process. But when I try to tell him that, he shuts down the conversation before it can even start. He’s selfless.
When he lowers his head, he has the heat in his face I was hoping I’d find. “God, I love you.”
“I know.”
He advances on me, pushing me down onto the couch until I feel his hard body on top of mine. Immediately, I raise my hips to get some pressure where I feel ready to combust.
“What do you want?”
“Anything,” I pant as he runs his hands beneath my shell top cami.
“You already had my hand tonight. Do you want it again?” His fingertips trace down my stomach to the outside of my flimsy pajama shorts between my thighs. Gently, barely there, and so, so light, he skims over my throbbing core.
“Anything, Jay. Whatever you want,” I whine.
“My sweet Livvie. I love that you’ll let me give you whatever I want, but I’m asking you. What do you want?” He pushes the fabric aside and teases me. “Tell me.”
I arch into him but lose his hand. Dammit. I like when he talks to me—uses his filthy mouth to tell me all the things he wants to do to me or that he wants me to do to him—but I have a hard time saying what’s running through my mind.
“Tell me, Livvie.”
“You, Jay. That’s all I want.”
Sick of waiting for me to be more specific, he reaches behind him and pulls off his t-shirt. I admire his upper body in the process. My hands trace the hard muscle and intricate ink on his arm. He lets my fingers explore as his do the same, making a path around the curves of my breasts.
We shed our clothes, and they land in a pile on the floor. As he slides inside me, I wrap my legs around him, and he embraces me so we’re almost like one, and it is phenomenal. Nothing in the world feels better than being somebody’s everything.
What we have is amazing. It’s passionate and perfect. It’s fucking beautiful.
A man so rough isn’t supposed to treat me so gently. But he does. Brings me up slowly and makes the climax last and last before it fades away. Even when he’s rough and dirty or hard and fast, no matter what, he always gives it so damn good.
In his arms and under his touch, I completely surrender.
He gives me him. All of him. And while he does that, in return, I give him everything I am. We consume each other. Devour. Obsess. Until there’s only one thing left to give.
“God, it still gets better every time,” I pant as a pleasure greater than any I’ve ever known threatens to slam through me.
“Yeah, it does. Didn’t think after I felt how perfect you were the first time it could get any damn better, but every single time, it’s more amazing than the last.” He pulls out and slides back inside me; every thrust calculated and precise.
I claw at his back, and my core spasms. He growls against my throat, and his arms tighten around me as we come together. An explosion of more than just our bodies… a soul-deep connection ignites and sets us aflame. A union of two people who have discovered exactly what it means to be in love.
I lie beneath him as he peppers kisses across my chest while we both return to reality, which is nearly as good as the heaven we just came down from.
He carries me to my bed and holds me close, running his fingers through my hair until I’m almost asleep. A huff of frustration leaves his mouth as the bed dips and he gets up. A moment later, he comes back with his clothes on and tosses my pajamas next to me. “Come lock up behind me, sweet pea.”
I’m practically dead to the world, so he chuckles and sits me up to help me get dressed then carries me to the door. I watch as he walks around my apartment to check all the windows.
I was comfy right where I was, but Jay won’t leave until I lock all the deadbolts and slide on the chain lock. I don’t have an early day tomorrow, so I’m fine. But Jay starts his day at seven in the morning, if not sooner. I hate that he has to leave.
His arms wrap around my neck, and he holds me just as close as he did in my bed. I glance at the clock hanging on my kitchen wall to see it reads a little after one in the morning. Giving him a final squeeze, I back up and reach for the knob. He’d stand like this forever, and although I wish we could, he needs to get sleep.
His lips skim the top of my head. “Lock up.”
“I will.”
I step aside so he can walk out, and just as he’s passing me, I say, “Text me when you get home.”
“I will.”
A quick peck on my cheek and a moment later, he’s pulling the door shut behind him and I’m locking everything. Once I’m done, he gently taps on the door then I hear his footsteps fade.
I dive back under my covers and mess around on my phone until he lets me know he’s home. Then I fall asleep, unconsciously counting down the hours until I can see him again.
“Hey, Dad,” I say as I’m walking up to our usual table.
My father stands and hugs me. “Heya, Ollie.”
I sit across from him and hook my purse strap on the back of my chair. “How are you?”
“Good. You?”
“Great.” I pause as the waiter walks up, and my dad places our order.
“You didn’t forget about Sunday, did you?” he asks as I glance at the menu.
“No way. How could I forget my sisters’ eighteenth birthday party?” My younger twin sisters, Oakley and Onnika, are celebrating their birthday and their high school graduation. It’s going to be a huge party, and I’m so excited for them.
“Jay coming with you?”
“Should be. Why?”
“No reason. Just wondering.”
He never asks that. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, Ollie. I was just wondering. Haven’t seen him in a while is all.”
I love that my dad loves my man. “Yeah, he’s been really busy. Said he’s working on a case that’s been nagging at him for years. Finally got a lead or something.”
My father sighs. “That boy works too hard.”
I don’t disagree. “He loves his job.”
“Understand that, and thank God for men like him, but with how many hours he puts in, I worry he’s going to work himself to the bone.”
“He’d probably take that as a compliment.”
We both have a chuckle at that and continue with our lunch as normal. My parents plan a ‘date’ with each of us girls once a month or so. We usually go out to eat with my dad—hence, why he has a round belly—but with my mom, we do things like shop or get manicures. I’m so blessed to have such a wonderful family.
I can only hope and pray to have the same kind of family with Jay someday. I know he’ll be an amazing husband and father. The way he is with his sister is admirable. He shows so much dedication to the ones he loves that just knowing I have him at my back makes me feel like I can do anything.
“I started looking at some offices last week.” Jay is also part of the reason I’m really starting to get more serious about opening my own business as a wedding planner. His support means more than he could ever know. Although my parents do support me, they’re obligated to since I’m their flesh and blood. Jay believes in me enough to make me believe in myself. To take the leaps I’d been afraid to make before I met him.
“Fantastic. I’m so happy you’re finally going forward with it. It’s about time.” He lifts his glass, and I clank mine with his. “To my Olive. Let the road ahead lead her to paths left untraveled.”
After my dad and I finish our lunch, he walks me to my car, and I drive to work. I have a booking tonight for a surprise birthday party for a woman whose husband is overseas. Her friends told her she’s just going to go out for drinks while her family will be in the banquet room for the surprise. Then a little later in the night, her husband will surprise her, too.
It’s really an incredible event, and I’m so happy to be a part of it. I get misty-eyed just thinking about how excited she’ll be. Just as I’m walking into the bar, my phone rings, and I answer it with a smile. “Hey, Blue Jay.”
“Hi, Butterfly.”
I can tell right away something is wrong. “Are you okay?”
“Fine, babe. But I’ve got a huge fuckin’ caseload, and I don’t think I’m going to be able to swing tonight.”
An emptiness creeps up my stomach and clogs my throat, knowing I won’t see him until tomorrow, but I swallow it down. Just sucks it has to be this way. I’d much rather be in bed waiting for him to come home; if only just to sleep with his arms around me. “It’s okay. I understand.”
“I know you do, Livvie. Wish it were different, though.”
“Me, too.” And I do, but it’s just not in the cards right now. His sister needs him more than I do. It sucks, but it could be worse, so I try not to dwell on it. Instead, I focus on what we do have. And that’s each other.
“Gotta go, honey. I’ll call you when I can.”
“Love you.”
“You too, Livvie. So much.”