“I BOUGHT A RING YESTERDAY,” I tell Don, Olive’s dad. I take my attention off Livvie as she walks away and turn to fully face him.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Gonna ask her to marry me. I’d like your blessing.”
He looks beyond me, his shoulders slumping. “She’s my baby girl.”
“I know.”
“The strong one of all my girls. She was the one who always pretended to be happy to make everyone else that way. She thought we didn’t know, but we did. Debbie and me, we knew. Had a rough go of it for a while there, and at night when Deb and I’d be trying to figure out how we were going to keep a roof over our heads, we always said we wanted our girls to have better than us.”
I nod and listen as he talks. Livvie told me her family had some financial trouble while she was growing up, so this doesn’t surprise me.
“I know she’ll never have to be in the kitchen crying and hungry because she let the kids eat all the food and you barely had twenty cents to your name. I know you give her that security, Jay. You give her better and make her happy. Truly happy. I see it in her eyes. Of course, you have my blessing.” He shakes my hand and pulls me in for an unexpected hug, leaving me no choice but to reciprocate.
“Thanks, Don.”
“I’m always here for you, Jay.” He straightens out but doesn’t release my hand. His eyes, much like his daughter’s, don’t leave mine. “Always. I’m not your father, and I know I could never be even close to what he meant to you, but I’m always willing to be what I can. I hope you know that.”
My throat seizes, and I can only nod. I’m not unintentionally refusing his offer, and I certainly hope I don’t come off as ungrateful, but it’s hard for me to accept help from anyone. And I don’t want the father of the woman I’m going to ask to marry me to think I’m weak.
I’m not a weak man at all, but Livvie makes me vulnerable. She instills a fear in me that I’ve never felt before. The good scary and the bad scary. It was the panic I felt when I walked into Corner Bar & Banquet after responding to a call and saw her, freaked out and hugging her body, that I knew deep, deep down that she was it. If I’m being honest with myself, it was probably the very first time I saw her, but seeing her later that day did nothing but seal our fate…
“Who’s the chick?” Brandon asks me as we ride back to the station.
“Nobody.” I lie to him. Don’t need him giving me shit. I know I won’t hear the end of it if he really knows what is on my mind when it comes to her.
“Damn, Jay, you walked across the bar like she was tethered to you. Didn’t look like nobody…”
He won’t shut up unless I give him something. “I met her earlier today. Was just surprised to see her again.”
“That’s why you’ve been acting so weird today. I knew something was up.” He laughs and slaps his knee. “You gonna see her again?”
“Soon’s I’m off.”
He glances at the clock. “T-minus thirty minutes, bro.”
I rub my suddenly sweaty palms on my pants. “I know.”
Just as I think I’m clear for the night, we get a call, and I have to respond… duty and all that. Takes us almost two hours, and by the time I get a quick shower at the station and am ready to go, it’s three hours past the time I said I’d come to her.
After a not so long debate, I decide to push my luck and head to her house anyway. It’s after one in the morning, and I’m a little peeved when I walk up to her apartment building and find the main door wedged open by a newspaper.
I kick it away and make sure it closes behind me then head up the stairs to her place. When I picked up her receipt earlier today, I memorized her address the second I read it. Not that I couldn’t look her up anyway, but I just figured memorizing it was less stalkerish than running a background check on her.
When I get to 4C, I gently knock on the door. Hearing nothing inside, I knock harder. After a moment, some shuffling sounds from inside and a shadow passes over the peephole.
Good girl.
“Who is it?”
“It’s me, Livvie.”
A chain slides and two locks click then the door opens a crack. And I swear on my parents, God bless them, that an angel stands in front of me.
Her hair is in two braids, and she’s wearing a pair of pajama pants with little hearts all over them. The white tank she’s got on is practically see-through, and her nipples push against the fabric. But it’s the soft glow of her makeup-free face. The slight pink on her cheeks and the softness of her brown eyes that have been bright when I’ve seen them before. “You’re late.” She leans on the doorjamb, not letting me in. She probably thinks I’m a dick.
“I know. I’m sorry. We got a call and—”
“And you couldn’t give me one?”
My lips twitch. “Didn’t have your number, Livvie.”
She sighs. “I guess you didn’t.”
“You gonna let me in?”
“Why should I?”
“So I can kiss you.”
Heat flashes in her eyes, yet she shakes her head. “It’s late.”
“I know.”
“I was sleeping.”
“Then at least let me say good night properly.”
Just when I think she’s not going to let me in, she tosses the door open. “Oh, all right.”
I step inside and close the door behind me. She stands a few feet away, biting her lower lip. I tear my eyes away from her and take in her apartment. It’s clean and girly and suits her perfectly. Without thinking about what I’m doing, I begin walking the perimeter.
“What are you doing?”
“Making sure your windows are locked.”
“They are.”
My sister’s attacker climbed up the fire escape and broke in through her window, so I want to make sure for myself. I continue my rounds until I’m back in the kitchen. Her apartment is a loft, so she could see me the entire time.
I tug on one of her braids. “These are cute.”
“If I braid it, I don’t have to curl my hair in the morning.”
I rub my thumb across the bumps. “It’s so silky.”
Her chest rises and falls slowly. “I use two different conditioners.”
“Do they both smell like coconuts?” I drop the braid then run my hand up, skimming over her collarbone and finally stopping when I cup her face.
When I rub my thumb along her cheek, she leans into me. “I like coconuts.”
“I’m allergic to ’em.”
She pulls her head back and her nose crinkles. “Really?”
“Yeah. I had a reaction when I was eight that I’ll never forget. My throat swelled up, and I could barely breathe. Hated the smell ever since then. But now”—I shake my head in disbelief almost—“now, I fuckin’ crave it, and I’m dying to taste it.” I slide my hand around to the back of her neck as she pushes up on her toes.
Our eyes lock and I have to put my hand on the wall behind her to keep upright. She’s slaying me, completely slaying me, and I’ve barely even touched her. I need to rectify that, so I pull her the last couple of inches until our bodies line up and our lips touch. Softly, I kiss her. Taking my time, I slant my mouth and nip at her bottom lip then run my tongue along the same spot.
Her tongue peeks out and brushes against mine, and I growl—I fuckin’ growl—at the feeling and lose my control for a second. I lick her mouth, trying to discover everything I can and memorizing how she tastes. How she feels. Every inch of her that I can.
She moans and reaches up, wrapping one arm around my waist, digging her fingers in and clutching my t-shirt. I open my eyes and pull my mouth away, waiting for her to look at me again. I press my lips to hers once more and pry my hands off her. “Night, Livvie.”
Her fingertips cover her mouth, and her cheeks are a shade darker. “What?”
“Told you I was gonna give you a kiss good night. Just did that.”
“But I thought…”
“What did you think?” I prompt when she doesn’t finish her sentence.
Another shrug. “Nothing. Never mind.”
“Not gonna fuck you tonight. Especially, because you’re pissed I’m late. Not only don’t I have the time right now, but I also don’t want you thinkin’ you’re not a priority. You need to be so sure you want this that you’re begging for me to fill you up.”
She drops her hand from her mouth and crosses her arms; the movement is nothing but a distraction for her rubbing her thighs together, but I don’t call her out on it because I’d love to have something rub up against me right now, too. “I. Okay. You’re right. I barely know you.”
“Feels a lot different, though, doesn’t it?” I continue without giving her the opportunity to answer. “Like we’ve known each other forever. Kinda feels like I already know this is gonna be big.”
“Yeah. It feels exactly like that.”
Don slaps me on the back, pulling me from my memory. I was right, though; it is big. Being with her is the biggest and the best thing that’s happened to me. “Let’s get a beer, shall we?” My future father-in-law squeezes my shoulder.
I follow him over to the deck and take the beer he hands me from the cooler. We clank bottles and shoot the shit for a few minutes. As we’re doing that, I’m looking around the yard for Livvie. There are about thirty people, but I can’t seem to find her. “You seen Livvie?”
“No. Not since she took off to put the twins’ cards on the table.”
I begin to walk away. “Thanks, Don. I appreciate you.”
“Thank you for making my daughter happy.”
I raise my bottle in the air, and he nods at me before doing the same. Turning around, I walk through the backyard, smiling and nodding at people I know. I’m not worried that I can’t find her, but I am curious where she went. I usually have eyes on her all the time, so I’m more irritated than anything that I don’t know where she is.
“Trouble one and trouble two,” I say behind the twins’ backs.
They both turn and laugh at me, their long light brown hair swaying with their tall, thin frames. “We’re the good ones. The middle children are always the most well behaved.”
“Doubt that. Don’t forget I know your sister.”
Simultaneously, they roll their eyes and shake their heads.
“Stop doing that.”
“What?” they ask at the same time.
“Your girls’ twin connection or whatever has always freaked me out.”
They look at each other and shrug, not even realizing how their movements mimic one another. It’s kind of creepy.
“Speaking of the good sister.” I wink. “You seen Livvie?”
Onnika points at the back door. “I saw her earlier. She was walking into the house.”
“Thanks. And Happy Birthday, troublemakers.”
I walk over to said door and into the kitchen where I’m bombarded by Livvie’s female relatives. Knowing it’s too late to escape, I lean against the counter and sip my beer, laughing at their jokes and agreeing with how much of a snob Esther from across the street is because she didn’t even bring the girls a card for their birthday.
That feeling I get whenever Livvie’s near, the one where my chest buzzes, makes me glance toward the hallway when she walks in. She takes in my surroundings and tries not to laugh, knowing I’m silently suffering. I raise my arm as she reaches me and pull her close.
I kiss the top of her head, and she wraps her arm around my waist.
“What’s wrong?” I ask quietly, feeling the stiffness in her spine.
She raises her head and gives it a small shake. “I’ll tell you later.”
“Okay.”
We stay in the kitchen for a little bit, and once even more people arrive, everyone ends up scattering outside. Livvie grabs my hand and pulls me away from the crowd to the front of the house. We sit on the porch steps, but she angles her body so she’s looking at me.
“Opal is pregnant.”
“What?”
“She’s pregnant. She just found out this morning.” Livvie bites her lip and shakes her head.
“She’s sixteen fuckin’ years old,” I growl. Anger at the little punk who got her pregnant immediately makes my jaw clench.
Looking around, she lowers her voice. “I know. And she hasn’t even told her boyfriend yet.”
“Fuck,” I groan. “How is she?”
“Freaked out. Understandably.” She looks at the street when the sound of a motorcycle engine gets louder. “Here comes the baby daddy.”
My hands ball into fists. I love Livvie’s sisters and would protect them as if they were my own. And seeing this fuckin’ kid pull up to the curb with his Ducati pisses me the fuck off. Stupid little shit. Not making sure she was protected.
I shift to stand, but Livvie grabs my arm. “Don’t. He doesn’t even know yet.”
I grit my teeth together, but do as she asks. We watch as he gets off the bike and takes off a backpack. After digging around in it for a minute, he pulls out two small wrapped gifts then loops the bag on his handlebar.
“Hi, Olive,” he says as he’s walking up to us. “Jay.” He nods at me. “Know where Opal is?”
“In the back.”
“Thanks.” He smiles and heads to the backyard.
Livvie leans her head on my shoulder and sighs. I’m waiting for it. We haven’t discussed it yet, but I know it’s coming.
The dreaded baby talk.
I don’t know how I’ve managed to avoid it this long, but I’m going to keep avoiding it. Makes me a coward, but it’s something that could make her leave me, and I’m not willing to take the risk yet. I know she wants kids. She comes from a large family and will want that of her own someday.
I don’t.
My family was shredded and ground to dust, and I was left to scrape up the molecules. My sister grew up without parents, without a mother to help her mature into a woman. She only had me. I refuse to bring kids into this world when there isn’t a guarantee I’ll be around to raise them or, God forbid, something happens to their mother.
It was hell for me. Made me a short tempered, possessive bastard—guarding what little I do have with my fucking life. I won’t do that to a kid.
Every fuckin’ day at work, I see people who get killed. I see the brutality of what’s really out there, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to bring a new life into this fucked-up society.
Worrying about Mel and Livvie and making sure they’re safe is all I care about. But now I have three other sisters who I need to watch after and now a little baby. Nope, no way can I handle a kid of my own.
The thought makes me hold Livvie a little tighter. I can’t and won’t imagine my life without her. I know I’m a prick for not telling her, but I don’t care. She’s too much to me. She’s everything, and she’s all I need.
The front door crashes open and instinct has me jumping up, pulling Livvie behind me, but when I see Josh stomping out, I relax slightly.
“Josh,” Opal calls, running after him.
Her face is red, and she practically trips down the stairs. I reach out and catch her, but she fights me. I let her go because I don’t want her to hurt herself, and she continues running at him.
“Shit,” Livvie whispers. “I’m guessing he didn’t take the news too well.”
“Guess not.” I start to walk down the steps, but when I get to the sidewalk, Livvie pulls on my arm. “Give them privacy.”
“Fuck that.” I know the look on that kid’s face, and he’s not about to miraculously calm down. No way am I standing here to watch Opal be used as the target for his anger for a mistake he participated in. I continue to walk, dragging Livvie down the sidewalk with me.
Opal reaches Josh just as he’s getting on his bike. He puts the backpack over his shoulders and revs the engine. Opal grabs him as he starts to pull away, and he shoves her. It’s not hard, just enough to get her off him, but it’s still not okay.
“Shit.” Livvie gasps and lets me go. I run down the path and reach the curb just as Opal’s grip falters from his leather jacket. She stumbles back, and I catch her as Josh takes off, not even looking back.
“No, no,” Opal cries.
I hold her, and she buries her face in my chest and softly cries. I’m gonna kick that little shit’s ass.
Livvie comes over and takes her sister. “Let’s go inside before everyone else comes out here, okay?” She wraps her arm around Opal’s shoulder and glances at me as she’s walking away, rolling her eyes in frustration.
After about a half an hour, Livvie comes to the backyard where I’m waiting for her. “How is she?”
“Sleeping. She cried herself to sleep.” She huffs. “I told my parents something in her tummy is upsetting her, so they’ll leave her alone.”
“Something in her tummy.” I laugh at the irony.
“Shut up, I didn’t want to lie to them.” She elbows me in the ribs right before she sticks her hand in the back of my jeans.
“Don’t fuckin’ try it, baby.”
Her giggle is such a beautiful sound, but I don’t let it distract me. “What are you gonna do?”
“Just ’cause we’re surrounded by your family doesn’t mean shit, sweetie.”
Her lips tilt up just as she says, “Prove it.” She yanks on my boxer briefs, trying with all her might to give me a wedgie.
I quickly turn and hitch her over a shoulder then smack her ass. “Ow.” She’s still trying to pull, so I fake like I’m going to drop her, and she lets go of my boxers and grabs me. I take advantage and bring her to the ground, falling to my back first to avoid her getting hurt then roll us over so I’m on top of her. I pin her arms above her head and lift her shirt up. “Stop.” She wiggles around and tries to buck me off. “Don’t do it.”
A wicked grin makes her giggle harder, and she takes a breath, tightening her abdomen before I ascend on it and blow. She ferociously laughs and fights me to get off her. “I gave you a warning, love.” I give her one more raspberry before letting her hands go.
She wipes under her eyes and catches her breath, a laugh coming out every few seconds. “I don’t know why I even try.”
“You just want to use any excuse you can to get my mouth on you.”
The redness in her cheeks from laughing turns a shade darker. “I like it when you touch me,” she whispers.
Her telling me what she wants or what she likes makes my cock hard as a rock. I lean down and take her lips in a kiss. She grabs my hair and digs her nails into my scalp, knowing damn well how much I like it. Just when I’m about to slide my hand up her side, a slow clap breaks out. I look up to see we’ve surprisingly not moved from the backyard, where virtually everyone from the party has stopped and is now laughing at us. This is what she does to me sometimes. I don’t even notice other people around us.
Livvie gasps, and I curse under my breath as I drop my head back against Livvie’s neck. “Didn’t know Mom and Dad hired entertainment for the party,” one of the twins says. I can’t tell which one because I’m currently reciting the alphabet backward in my head.
After a minute of a bunch of people cheering and clapping obnoxiously, I’m finally able to stand. I pull Livvie up with me, and she links our fingers together. We bow dramatically, and Oakley throws a piece of a tomato at us, making everyone laugh even harder. Livvie looks up at me, and with her smiling eyes, she says everything without saying a word.
“Love you too, baby.”