KOA
“SHE’S COOL, DAD. REALLY GREAT. But why does she keep asking if I’m all right?”
I smile over my coffee cup as I watch my son make his own drink. It’s just hitting me how much I’ve missed him.
“She’s not. All right to the English is like us saying hey or hi. She’s not actually asking if you’re all right and doesn’t expect you to go into any kind of detail regarding your well-being,” I try to explain Gracie’s weird way with words as concisely as I can. It barely makes sense to me, so I’m not sure if he’s getting it any better.
“Well, it’s weird.”
“Son, you have no idea.”
“She’s nice, though, apart from that. Pretty, too.” He turns, and his eyes meet mine. “Like, gorgeous.”
“She is.”
We eye each other for a few moments before he grins. “You really like her, don’t you?”
“I really do,” I admit.
“Good. It’s about time you found someone.”
I wasn’t really concerned with Kai’s reaction to Gracie, but I’m glad he likes her. Our heads both turn towards the door when she walks through it. I’d left her upstairs deciding what to wear today. I’d told her that Thanksgiving lunch over at Dean and Shannon’s would be a casual thing, but I’m not sure that Gracie really knows what casual is. Either way, I’m pleasantly surprised, and instantly hard.
She’s wearing black suede ankle boots, a pair of black jeans that look like they’ve been sprayed on and are full of rips, a black top that has fabric cut out at the shoulders, allowing her bare flesh and ink to show through. Around her neck, she’s wearing a leather choker, the sight of which does all kinds of strange things to my dick. Her hair is in a loose braid that hangs over one shoulder, and if she’s wearing any makeup, then it’s minimal.
She really is beautiful. Kimmie’s words, come back to me, “Tell her, let her know she’s special.” I hesitate because Kai’s there and I’m acutely aware that he’s watching my reaction.
Before I get a chance to not give a fuck and just let her know, she asks, “Will I do?” And then she twirls around in front of us.
Kai gives a long, slow whistle of approval.
“You look perfect,” I say. Wishing that I’d got the words out before she had to ask.
“Thank you. You don’t look bad yourself.”
I reach out for her hand and pull her towards me. “You smell good, too,” I let her know.
“Thanks.”
“Kai, stop staring and go get showered, boy, we’re gonna be late.” I bust my kid checking out Gracie’s ass and order him upstairs. “You and I’ll be having a talk later.”
“Yeah, yeah. I was only looking. This is what happens when you send me to live where there are no women under seventy.”
“We’ll talk about that later, too, but not if you don’t keep your eyes off my woman’s ass. You’ll be staying put till you’re twenty-one.”
“Whatever,” I hear him mumble.
I place my hands on Gracie’s hips and pull her against me, burying my face into the side of her neck.
“You doing okay?”
I know that she’s nervous about today, and as much as I hate it, I also find it kinda cute. Gracie likes to put up a feisty, independent persona, but it feels good to know that maybe she’ll need a little support from me today.
“Yeah, I’m all right.” That damn word again. “Are we s’posed to take anything with us?”
“Shannon’s family will have the food covered, and I’ve had a case of Cuvee delivered.”
“Ooh, go you.”
I look down at her and watch as she chews on the inside of her cheek.
“You giving yourself a headache with the overthinking again, Essex?”
With her chin tilted down, she looks up at me through her lashes.
“When people ask how we met, what are you gonna tell them?”
“That you’re a homeless person from England that I rescued off the mean streets of London.”
She looks up and rolls her eyes at me.
“I’ll tell them that you rented my aunt’s cabin, I was there to do some renovations and the instant I laid eyes on you, my heart, my life, my whole damn world flipped. As soon as we started to talk, I knew that you were everything I didn’t know I wanted, and no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I was certain that there was no going back.”
My mouth is dry, and my chest feels tight when I finish speaking, and her eyes fill with tears.
“That’s the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me,” she whispers and starts swaying from side to side. I move with her.
“Get used to it, Essex, ’cause I plan to tell you beautiful things every day.”
She wipes a finger under each eye to catch her tears, and I suck it into my mouth, swallowing down the salty taste.
“Now you’re making me horny.”
“Good, get used to that, too. I plan to keep you that way all day every day.”
My phone vibrates in my back pocket, and I pull it out to see Lucy’s number displayed.
“Gotta get this, baby.”
Gracie steps back to give me space, but I grab her hand and keep her at my side.
“Carmichael.”
“Can you collect Malia tomorrow rather than Saturday? Something came up.”
My ex-wife doesn’t even bother with a greeting before making her request. I’m not surprised or upset, what concerns me is what influence this lack of manners might be having on my daughter.
“Sure, happy to.”
“Good, we’ll drop her to you early.”
“I’m at the cabin. I’m not in Aspen.”
“Oh, how come?”
“None of your business.”
“Don’t be petty, Koa.”
“Not being petty, just saying.”
“Well, I guess we’ll drop her at the cabin. Like I said, it’ll be early, before nine.”
“That’s not a problem. Can I talk to her?”
I fucking hate asking.
“I suppose. Just make sure you’re awake and not wallowing in a hangover of bourbon and self-pity when we get there tomorrow morning.”
“I’ll do my best.”
I don’t know exactly what it was I did to make my ex so pissed with me. I gave Lucy everything, and she took it gladly. Shannon reckons she’s a narcissist, I reckon she may be that and more.
Gracie has laced our fingers together and is staring down at her boots. She’s standing close enough to be able to hear both ends of the conversation, but I’ve no clue what she’s thinking.
“Hey, Daddy. Happy holidays day.”
My daughter’s voice carries through the phone, and I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. I love my kids equally, but the urge to protect my daughter and keep her safe from the world is something I worry might be a little irrational. I hate being apart from her and not having her in my life every day.
It’s not that I don’t feel it with Kai, I do, especially after his recent fuck up, but he’s older and can protect himself to some extent. Malia’s only four and lives with my self-serving bitch of an ex.
“Hey, baby girl. Happy holidays day to you, too.”
“It’s your weekend to have me, Daddy. What we gonna do?”
“Not sure yet. Is there anything you’d like to do? Kai’s home, too.”
“He is? Well, that’s so cool. We can hang out and maybe watch a movie together.”
My kid sounds like a teen already, and I shut that thought down in an instant. I have at least nine years before I need to worry about all that entails. Twenty if I can find a way to lock her up without alerting the authorities.
“Sure, we can do that. We’ll be staying at the cabin.”
“Cool, can we go to the diner that Kai goes to for pancakes?”
“Of course. The winter festival is going on this weekend, too, we can go visit that if you’d like?”
“That sounds perfect, Daddy. I’ll be sure to pack my new jacket. You should see it. It’s pink and purple and has blut-buf-butterflies on it.”
Kai reappears in the kitchen, freshly showered and dressed for the day.
“You be sure to bring it then, and I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Okay. Love you, Daddy.”
“Love you, too, baby girl.”
I listen to a few muffled sounds before the call ends without anything else from Lucy, and then I slide my phone back into my pocket.
“Your ex-sounds like a right charmer. Can’t wait to meet her.”
Kai looks at me, and we both start to laugh.
“Hope I’m here to witness that one when it happens,” Kai states. “My money’s on Gracie to win that smackdown.”
“Son, you wouldn’t be wrong. You should’ve seen how she handled Misty Walker in the diner the other weekend and then Logan Barnes on the sidewalk.”
“Shit, see? This is what I’m talking about. I miss everything living in that commune you sent me to.”
I throw the keys to my truck at Kai, and he catches them with one hand.
“Quit complaining. You’re the DD today, so no alcohol for you.”
I’M DRUNK.
I hadn’t meant to get this way, but good food and great company have me more relaxed than I have been in a long time.
I’m standing in Dean’s kitchen with my ass against the counter, Gracie’s back pressed to my front, listening to Mason, Dean’s younger brother, tell a story I’d heard a thousand times.
“The third time I went under, I thought I was done for. My lungs were filled with water, and I knew there was no room for air. I’d just started to pass out when I felt myself—”
“You wanna get out of here?” I ask Gracie, missing her ear completely and talking into her neck instead.
She turns around and winds her arms around my neck as I slide my hands to her ass.
“Will it be rude to leave this early?”
I notice that the room has fallen silent and everyone is watching us. The game finished an hour ago, and there’s music playing from the lounge and the sound of people laughing and talking carries from in there.
“You good, bud?” Dean asks.
I frown and try to bring him into focus. “I’m great,” I announce, holding my glass up in the general direction of his voice.
“I bet.”
The rest of the guys in the room seem to find that amusing, but I’m not sure why.
“What the fuck? Dean. Dean!”
All heads turn at the sound of Shannon’s voice.
“Where is he? Where the fuck is he?” A different voice screeches. A voice that I’m unfortunately familiar with.
“Shit,” everyone seems to say at once. Kai, who had been standing beside me, steps right in front of Gracie, who turns around to face the way the commotion is coming from just in time to see Danielle stagger through the door. Misty, Curtis, and Cal, Dani’s brother, following close behind.
This time, the whole house falls silent, and I’m instantly sober. I move my hands to Gracie’s waist and force her to step to my side. She looks up at me confused. She’s had a fair bit to drink herself, but even if she hadn’t, she still wouldn’t have a clue as to what’s going on.
“Well, just look at you.” I watch my ex-wife, the woman I once would’ve laid down my life for, sway on her feet in front of our son and me.
“Mom.” Kai’s voice has a pleading tone, and I hate that he knows that there’s gonna be trouble. Dani’s here, so that’s a given.
“Oh, so you do remember me then? You are aware of my existence?”
“Of course, Mom. I only got into town last night, I was gonna come visit you tomorrow.”
“Like fuck you were,” she spits.
“Amy, get the kids outta here,” Dean orders his sister-in-law. A few of the other women help round them up and take them upstairs.
Gracie is absolutely rigid beside me. She’s had a great day, made new friends, and visited with about everyone. She whooped Dean’s and Kai’s asses at pool, but she couldn’t beat me. She made fun of the players and their padding when we were watching the game and almost caused another riot when she once again declared soccer a much better game than football.
“Don’t panic, people. Your kids are safe, I’m walking, not driving a car. So, no chance I’ll be killing anyone today.”
That crass comment hits me right in the chest, which I’m positive was Danielle’s intention.
I move forward, not entirely sure what I’m gonna do to shut this down, I just know that I need to do something.
Gracie’s hand reaches out and grabs my arm, holding me in place.
“Mom, why don’t you come with me? I’ll take you home, and we can talk.”
“Talk? Now you wanna talk?” I’ve been calling you for weeks, Kai, and you haven’t wanted to talk. You didn’t even bother to let me know you were in town. I had to find that out from your friend, Tanner’s mom.”
“It was a last-minute thing. Grandma and Billy went on a cruise, so Shannon invited Dad and me to spend the day here.”
My heart hurts for my son. He doesn’t deserve a mother like this, and I feel in some part responsible for the way our lives have turned out. I chose her, so this is on me, if that even makes sense.
“Dani, let the boy take you home.”
“Oh, and here he is. The great, the wonderful, the amazing Koa Carmichael.” She announces me like I’m a circus performer, and I go to step forward. This time, Gracie keeps her hand on my arm but puts her other one on my chest to keep me in place.
Danielle stretches her neck like she’s a boxer about to fight and looks right at Gracie.
“And who do we have here? Heard you’d been seen around town with a new woman, Koa. Who is she? She know your track record?”
“Mom, please.” This time Gracie steps away from me and holds on to Kai’s arm, her other hand reaches up and starts rubbing his back reassuringly.
Her actions, the intuitive way she moves to soothe my son has my heart feeling like it’s too big to fit in my chest. Gracie’s gonna make a great mother one day, and I know for sure that I can’t wait to put my babies in her belly.
“Leave it, Kai, just take her home,” Gracie says quietly.
“Get your fucking hands off my kid,” Dani screams right before she launches herself at Gracie.
For a moment, all fucking hell breaks loose. I move, Kai moves. Everyone in the damn kitchen moves, but somehow, Dani still seems to manage to get a hold of Gracie’s braid and pull her forward by it.
I’ve never hit a woman in my life, but at that moment, if that bitch lays a hand on Gracie, I swear—
“Let go of my fucking hair!” I don’t think I’ve ever seen any living thing move as fast as Gracie. Her arms and legs are flying as she makes contact at least once with Dani’s face. Cal appears and grabs his sister around the waist, and I’m tempted to knock him the fuck out for standing there this long and letting it happen.
Gracie flips her braid over her shoulder and stands up straight, apart from her hair looking a little messy—and sexy as fuck—she’s fine. Dean has a hold of Curtis Walker, and Misty is fighting with Mason.
“What is wrong with you? What the fuck is wrong with you?” Gracie screams at Dani. “He’s your child. He’s your little boy, don’t you care about how your behaviour affects him? How you rolling around drunk makes him feel?”
“You best shut your mouth, bitch. This has nothing to do with you.”
“It has everything to do with me. I’m with Koa, Kai is part of Koa’s life, therefore making him a part of my life, so like it or not, it has everything to do with me.”
Dani breathes deeply, her hair, which was once the colour of sunshine and as soft as silk, hangs limp and lifeless over her shoulder. Her face is puffy and bloated, so is her body. Dani still has money, she’s a wealthy woman because of what her daddy left her, and it’s obvious that her clothes aren’t cheap, they’d just look better on a woman twenty years younger and four sizes smaller.
“Haven’t you already done enough to fuck up his life, both of their lives?” Gracie moves her hand between Kai and me.
“You know nothing about them and me.”
“I know plenty.” Gracie spits out, the whole place is still silent apart from the music playing in the other room. “You could’ve put things right. You could’ve got help and built bridges, instead you stayed drunk and became a total embarrassment to both of them. Have you no shame?”
Dani points a finger at Gracie. “You best watch yourself, little girl. You have no idea who you’re messing with.”
Gracie waves her away. “Yeah, yeah. Heard it all before, love. I’m not scared of you or your skanky mate. Now, fuck off out of here.”
My dick chooses that particular moment to get hard, and at the same time, my heart punches itself out of my chest and lays itself at Gracie’s feet.
Shannon and Dean usher their uninvited guests to the front door as the rest of us stand there in stunned silence. Mason is the first to speak. “You plan on marrying that girl, Carmichael?”
At some stage, I’ve pulled Gracie flush up against me, and I can feel her body shaking from the adrenaline rushing through her. Kai is pressed into our sides, and I rest my hand on his shoulder, all of us needing the contact.
“Don’t see as that’s any of your business, Mase,” I tell him.
“Well, I’m making it my business, because if you’re not gonna marry her, I sure as hell am.”
“Erm, hello?” Gracie puts her hand up as if she’s in the classroom. “I’m right here, and I’d actually like a say in who I marry.”
“So, who’s it gonna be, Gracie, me or Carmichael?”
“Fuck off, Mase,” I warn. Kai chuckles beside me, and I give his shoulder a squeeze.
“Well, neither of you have actually asked me yet.”
In an instant, Mason’s on his knees in front of her.
“Get up,” I warn, poking him with my boot. “Get the fuck up.”
Everybody else seems to be finding the whole show amusing. I’m not. Gracie tilts her head and turns around, smiling up at me.
“Don’t panic, Cowboy, you’re the only man for me.”
“Damn fucking straight I am. Get your coat, we’re leaving.”
Shannon, Dean, and the rest of their guest's boo. “Show’s over folks, sorry. Gotta get my girl home. The other ex-Mrs Carmichael is coming to visit tomorrow, Gracie needs to rest before she takes her on.”
“Great, can’t wait. Thank fuck you’ve only been married twice, Cowboy, else I’d be knackered.”
Everybody else looks confused, I just laugh and shake my head.