Chapter 23
Quinn
When they left, it nearly destroyed me. I sensed Tyler, and I had so many things left to say—that when our eyes met across the grass of our yards, we were joined in sexual yearning. But they were busy, adding box after box to his truck and then shipping them across the country. Despite telling myself that this was the proper move for Rachel, I couldn’t avoid my feelings of melancholy. I found myself out on long walks with Randy, leash in-hand, weaving in and out of the shadows of the late-afternoon sun, wondering if I had made the right decision in moving to Raleigh at all.
My job was my only joy. As Everett grew accustomed to my skills, he gave me more responsibilities, keeping me at the lab even more often. I threw myself into it, creating new sleep studies, as I wasn’t sleeping well myself, analyzing my own behaviors and patterns in a way that aligned with the mice’s. It was a bizarre time, with many late-night episodes of past-loved television shows and many peeks out the window. And then, before I really knew it, Tyler and Rachel were gone. That part of my life was over. Workers came in and out of the house, repairing the kitchen in the wake of their absence, and Randy and I were left alone.
Everett asked me about it after the first week. In the break room, he pointed at my rather sad-looking, plastic Tupperware, and asked, “Why haven’t you been eating?”
I shrugged. “What do you mean? I had a snack. I not really that hungry.”
He knocked his head back and forth, worry glowing in his eyes. “No. I know you haven’t been sleeping. You’ve been forgetful; checking your experiments twice, sometimes three times.”
“I don’t want to make a mistake,” I told him, my voice soft. How had he seen that in me? Was he really such a diligent scientist?
“Anyway,” Everett said, his face glowing red with embarrassment. “I don’t mean to bring it up. It’s just I know you’re still new here. And if you ever want to sit down and talk to someone about your—new adjustments—I’m here.”
The outreach was so kind, and I felt my heart crumple beneath my ribcage. But I just shook my head, still clinging to my Tupperware. “Oh, no. I’ve just been under the weather lately. Thanks, Everett.”
Saturday morning, I had a message in my email inbox from one Emery Hurtzill—ex-best friend. I blinked at it several times, unsure how I should proceed. Was she apologizing? Saying she wanted to be friends again? Would I even welcome that from her, or would it make my now very small life seem even smaller?
Clicking on it, I found myself reading a short, clipped message of joy.
“Quinn, I wanted to thank you. Because you stepped out of the way, Chris and I were able to reconcile our differences and become a happy couple. Thank you for that. And know we will never forget you.”
Jesus! Another punch in the stomach. Quivering, I lifted from the couch and paced my living room floor, with Randy perched in the corner, ready to spring into action the moment I made a false, playful move. As I paced, I felt large tears roll down my cheeks. I had never felt so sorry for myself. I wasn’t sure how to dig myself out of this damn hole. How to find hope again. Did I belong in Raleigh? Could I possibly belong anywhere? Or would I always be ‘the weird science girl,’ just as I had been in school?
A moment later a dark blue car crept into the driveway, clipping over the small pothole and then rolling to a stop several inches in front of my garage door. Ducking toward the window, I peered into the sunshine. The figures in the front seat were dark, especially with the bright light bouncing back against the front window.
But I knew, with a sudden jolt, that it was them.
My face didn’t change. I thrust myself toward the door, yanking it open and standing, poised, with my hands on either side of my waist. I felt breathless, unsure if I was just dreaming. Rachel hopped from the car first, her ponytail bouncing in that familiar way, giving me the same eager smile she’d met me with when I’d picked her up from school.
“Quinn!” she shrieked as if I were the most important person in her world. She threw her arms around my waist and hugged me close. Her tears matched mine. Over her head, I looked at Tyler, who was still standing at the entrance of my porch. His dominance was alarming; his face stoic and firm. Only his eyes—eager and filled with love—told me the truth.
He had come back for me.
“What are you doing here?” I whispered, speaking directly to Tyler.
Rachel didn’t answer. Drawing herself back from me, she allowed her father a path. After three dramatic strides, he stood in front of me. His lips were mere inches from mine. I could inhale the scent of him, and it was intoxicating. My lips began to shake, anticipating his kiss. He drew his hands to my shoulders, touching the soft skin of my neck, and then exhaled gruffly.
“I wasn’t sure I would ever see you again,” he said. “And I think we both realized that the arrangement simply wouldn’t work for us.”
A tentative smile crept around my cheeks. I waited, peering up at him, as he leaned forward and kissed me. The kiss was firm, powerful, an act of his ownership over me. He’d known, all along, that I would wait for him. And now he’d come back for me. I couldn’t imagine it any other way.
As he broke the kiss, he peered into my eyes. Rachel made a face to the side, grimacing, but accepting it.
“I always knew you guys were in love,” she said, kicking her foot through the air. “Daddy was just being stubborn about it.”
Tyler lifted my hands to his mouth, kissing the tips of my fingers. “Will you come with us, Quinn?” he asked me, speaking directly to my broken heart. “I know that I’ve hurt you. I know that you have no reason to trust me. But Rachel and I want to take care of you, the way you’ve taken care of us. Give me a chance.”
I didn’t hesitate. With tears rushing down my cheeks, I nodded, then kissed him again—feeling a gasp escape my lips. Of course, I would go with them. I would follow them as long as they wanted me. I fit with them like a glove, an extension of their once-broken family. Together, we would heal.
Together, we would face the world.