Chapter 16

Asher dressed and headed to the funeral. The town seemed empty for a Friday morning as he drove his Mustang through it. When he got to the cemetery, he understood why. It looked like most of the town had turned out for his father’s funeral. Asher parked and walked across the grass. He stopped about six feet back from the mourners. The Priest, Father Byrnes was conducting the service. Asher didn’t want to attract attention to himself, but he wanted to hear what Father Byrnes was saying. He took a few steps forward and came to a dead stop as his eyes landed on Mia. Jesus Christ she was still beautiful. As a matter of fact, it was like time had stood still when he looked at her. She was wearing a dark gray sweater dress and a pair of black leather boots without a heel. She looked so small. Her thick hair shone underneath the summer sun and he closed his eyes for a fraction of a second and remembered how it used to feel in his hands and the way she always smelled so fresh. He opened his eyes and looked at her again. It was amazing how seventeen years of absence seemed like only yesterday. His heart filled with the love he used to feel for her. It was so full that it ached.

He saw her arm go around the person next to her and his eyes moved over. She was standing next to a young man. He looked about the same age they were when he had left. Frank was on the other side of her. Asher was a little confused about that. His father and Frank couldn’t stand each other. As he pondered that he felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped, but then he heard a familiar voice. Thank God he hadn’t throat punched him. It was Dean.

“Hey man, I’m so sorry.” Dean wrapped him up in a bear hug. When they parted Asher said, “Thanks. It’s good to see you. I didn’t know you were coming.”

“I didn’t know if you would either. When Dad called me for your number I was deep in a meeting and I couldn’t get out of it. I texted it to him and prayed you weren’t going to be pissed at me for it.”

“Nah, I needed to be here. I’m glad he called.”

Asher looked up as the crowd began thinning out. He watched Mia again as she laid a rose down near the urn that held his father’s ashes. The boy next to her did the same and so did Frank. Then suddenly, Mia’s eyes were on him. As their eyes locked he could see sadness and something else, longing maybe, on her face and his heart once again ached. At least longing is what he wanted it to be. There was definitely hurt there. Hurt that he had caused. He saw her say something to Frank and his eyes landed on Asher before he put his arm around the young man and they headed towards the parking lot. His stomach was in the biggest knot he had ever felt in his life as Mia came towards him. He almost felt sick with the anticipation of speaking to her after all of these years. She was so beautiful. He had been all over the world in his travels as a soldier. He could honestly say that she was the most beautiful woman he had laid eyes on.

He took a deep breath and a step towards her. Father Byrnes reached him first. “Asher?”

Asher looked at the priest. He had been the one that baptized him and gave him his first communion. He had heard all of his confessions, except one. “Father, hello.”

Father Byrnes took his hands and held them between his. “I’m sorry for your loss, Asher. Your father was a good man.”

Asher nodded and managed a small smile. “Thank you, Father.” He once again tried to make it to Mia when Lyle Kentworth stepped up.

“Asher, I’m glad you made it. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you, Mr. Kentworth. Thank you for calling me.”

He nodded and gave Asher a sad smile. “If you’re up to it maybe we can get together in my office tomorrow?”

“Yeah, around ten?”

“Perfect. I’ll see you then.”

Asher said hello to a couple more people at last making his way to Mia. Once he was close enough to smell her and she smelled the same as she did when they were kids, he suddenly couldn’t breathe. He felt like a fool standing there with dry mouth and trying to form his words.

“Hi Mia.”

She gave him a small smile…but it was gorgeous nonetheless. “Hi Asher.”

“You look great, just the same.” Mia’s eyes ran over him as he said that. He hadn’t worn a suit. He didn’t mean to be disrespectful, it just wasn’t something he even owned or was comfortable with. He had worn a black polo shirt with short sleeves and black slacks. He watched her pretty hazel eyes rake across his tattoos and move back up to his face. He almost shuddered under the heat of them. They stared at each other again for several long minutes before she said, “You look great too. But different.”

Asher laughed nervously. He wondered if she could see it. “Thanks, I think,” he said. She laughed too. He remembered how he used to love the sound of it. “So the town hasn’t changed much.” What the hell was he doing? How many things did he need to say to her? Yet here he was making awkward small talk instead.

“Yeah, it never really does, on the surface.”

“How are your folks?”

She looked sad again. Fuck! He said the wrong thing already. “My mother passed away about ten years ago.”

“Shit! I’m sorry.”

She smiled again. He would have given every penny he had and anything he was likely to earn in the future to see that smile. Jesus, it was beautiful. “It’s okay. It was a long time ago.” He watched as her eyes flitted to the car where her father had taken the young boy. He thought about asking her who he was but that was none of his business. “I should go.”

He nodded. “It was really good to see you.” He thought he saw the glimmer of a tear in her eye, but she held it back.

“It was good to see you too.” He watched then as she headed for the car that her father and the kid had gotten into. The kid stepped out and opened the door for her. She slid inside and he closed it.

“Hey.” Dean was back at his elbow. He had magically disappeared when Asher and Mia were speaking. Asher started to turn towards him just as a man Asher didn’t quite recognize came up to him.

“I’m Mr. Proctor Asher; we only met once so I doubt you remember me. I just wanted to offer you my condolences.”

“Thank you,” Asher said. The man gave Dean a look Asher didn’t understand. As he walked away Asher heard Dean say, “Asshole,” under his breath.

Asher raised an eyebrow and Dean just shook his head. “I’m going to give you some time with your dad,” Dean said. “Mia and her father are having the reception at their place. Are you going to go?”

Asher shuddered at the thought. He would give his right arm to see Mia again, but a gathering of the whole town offering condolences was just too much. “Nah, I think I’ll pass. Why don’t you come by later and have a beer with me. We’ll catch up.”

“I’ll do that,” he said with a smile. He clapped Asher on the shoulder and said, “It’s really good to see you, man.”

Asher watched his old friend walk away and then he turned towards his mother and father’s graves. He walked past a basket of roses someone had sent and plucked two from it. He got close to the graves and knelt down on one knee. Dusting off his mother’s headstone he laid the first rose across her grave.

“I’m sorry it’s been so long, Mom. I think about you and miss you every day. I still talk to you sometimes; I hope you can hear me. My life is not what you wanted for me but I promise you that I’m doing my best. I love you so much and I also promise I’ll visit more often.” He turned towards his father’s then and said, “Hey Dad. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you. I read your letter. I wish I could tell you in person how much it meant to me. I wish that a lot of things were different just like you wrote. I never stopped loving you. If I had been older and more mature, maybe I would have been able to see how much you just needed help. If I would have come home sooner, maybe things could have been different. I’m going to tell you that I will keep the promises you asked me to make in the letter. I love you and miss you. I hope you and Mom are back together now. I’m glad at least neither of you have to be alone any longer.” He got back to his feet and stood there for a few more minutes. Finally he bent down and laid the rose across the site where his father was laid to rest. “I love you,” he whispered again, and then he turned and walked away.