Chapter 20

He raised his hands up to touch her and then changed his mind and fisted them at his side. “Yes. I have always loved you, Mia. I never stopped.”

“Then please, don’t push me away. Let me stay with you. I need you.”

He didn’t say another word. He put one arm around her shoulders and the other went under her legs as he scooped her up in his arms. He carried her up the stairs to his room. Mia pressed her lips against the pulse in his neck and whispered, “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, Mia, every day.”

When they got to his room, he sat on the bed with her on his lap and kissed her again. This time he used his hands as they kissed to push up the blouse she was wearing. His rough hands felt hot against her skin and she had to struggle for breath. His touch was like throwing kerosene on her already smouldering core. The aches in parts of her body that had not been touched in so long turned into throbs and she whimpered. Her arms were still around his neck and the feel of his huge arms enveloping her was intoxicating. Asher kissed her like a starving man. His tongue devoured her mouth. He moaned deeply as his tongue thrust and swirled with hers. He took what he wanted from her after being denied so long. She felt his hand slid up over her stomach and slip under her bra. She sucked in a hard breath as he massaged her breast and let his thumb swipe across her hard nipple. She was shaking and writhing against his lap as she clutched his shoulders.

“Take these off,” he said in a husky whisper, pulling at her clothes.

Mia stood up and he watched as she stripped off her clothes. The heat from his green eyes was searing and she could see that he was fisting his hands at his sides to keep from touching her until she was finished. As soon as she was undressed he slid his large hands against the small of her back and pulled her forward. When she was right in front of him, he ran his hot tongue around one of her nipples and then the other. Her body convulsed and she whimpered.

He alternated between pinching and twisting her nipple and sucking it hard and deep in his mouth. His teeth gently tugged at the peak and Mia’s back arched and she thrusted against his mouth. Her hands gripped the back of his head and he wrapped his large, warm hands around her waist as he made love to her breasts with his mouth. Then with skills that he definitely didn’t have when they had made love all of those years ago, he stood up and flipped her back onto the bed in one incredibly smooth movement. “Don’t move,” he whispered, as he stood at the edge of the bed and began to strip off his own clothes. Mia watched intently as he reached behind his neck and pulled off his shirt. Her eyes devoured every inch of his skin and she stared at the colourful tattoos all over his body. His arms were covered, and the ink extended across his shoulder and culminating in a burst of brightly-coloured tribal tattoo that disappeared under the waist band of his jeans. His arms bulged with veins and muscles and his chest rippled as his hands slid to his waist to unbutton his jeans. There were scars racing in all directions. His abdomen was rock hard and sculpted and across the top of the hard flesh sat multiple small scars and one large one. There was one on his shoulder underneath a tattoo that looked like it had run deep. Her curiosity was burning but as soon as he dropped his pants and she took in his large, throbbing erection and muscular legs, she knew those questions could wait. She wanted this now more than she had ever wanted anything in her life. He was beyond gorgeous. He was the most beautiful thing she had seen. She slid her fingers up and across the skin of his abdomen. She saw him shiver and then he was back on the bed, straddling her with his knees on either side of her thighs, pinning her to the bed beneath him.

He leaned down and kissed her again. The kiss was so hot and so deep that it actually made her feel lightheaded. Years of pent up passion was exploding between them and nothing would be able to douse the flames until they’d both had their fill. His warm thighs massaged the sides of hers and the length of his rock hard erection pressed down into her as he kissed her. His caressing hands never stopped moving, like they couldn’t stop touching her like he couldn’t get enough. When he broke the kiss he pulled his lips up just enough to hover sexily over hers and he said, “You are so incredibly beautiful, Mia. I’ve never seen anything like you. I missed you so much.”

Mia started to tell him that she had missed him too but as quickly as he finished talking, his mouth was back on hers and he again possessed her. She put her hands up on his shoulders and let them feel the ripple of the muscle as he moved. He was incredible and she could hardly believe that this was finally happening. Still straddling her, he used one hand to slide under her upper back and he pulled her up about a foot off the bed. He nuzzled his face against hers, running his nose down the side of her cheek until she turned her head to revel in it. As soon as she did, his lips were on her neck, nipping at the soft curve of it and sending electricity shooting through her body from his lips to her toes. She gasped and bucked against him, crying out his name as he sucked on a piece of the sensitive skin and ran his tongue against it. When he finished with that spot, he slid off her and lay next to her on his side. He kept one leg bent over her in an almost protective gesture as he slid his hot tongue back into her mouth. Their kiss was erotic as they both sucked and reached and explored. His hands had still never stopped moving, running down her curves up one side and down the other and back up again and across. He stopped to run his palms against her nipples and then he would begin moving them again. Mia was almost out of her mind with lust.

She felt his fingertips brushing against her upper thighs and then she heard herself cry out in a strangled voice that didn’t sound like her own as he suddenly brushed his fingers along the seam of her soaking wet pussy. While he touched her, he looked into her eyes with an intense, burning gaze. It was almost as sexy as the touch and Mia wondered how she had lived without him for so long. With a soft touch, he parted her and slid a finger against her throbbing, swollen clit. Once again she cried out. He seemed to feed off the sounds she was making. With each sound of encouragement, he touched her harder and drove her crazier. She was trying to reach him, but each time her hands got close he would press against her body and stop her. He didn’t want her to touch him yet as he savoured her mouth again with his delicious tongue and manipulated her clit in slow, small circles. Mia began sucking on his tongue and she felt the rumble of a growl from his chest. When she turned it loose he pulled up his head and looked at her again.

“I need you inside me, Asher.”

He shivered again. Then he smiled and rolled onto his back, pulling her up on top of him. She was straddling him and her thighs were pressed into his hard chest. She pressed her hands against him and slid back until she made contact with his pulsing cock. He moved his hips until it was nestled up between her legs and suddenly the slow passion turned into urgent, frenetic movements as she pulled herself up and he pressed the tip of his cock against her.

“Fuck.” he groaned out as the head of his cock penetrated her. Mia lowered herself slowly, savouring the feeling as he entered her one throbbing inch at a time. Slow and torturous. She loved the way his expressive face let her know just how much he was enjoying this. He brought his hands up and circled her waist, bucking up his hips and pulling her down at the same time. He was finished waiting. She cried out as he filled her completely. Every nerve ending in her body was raw and it was almost too much, almost too overwhelming. “Jesus, Mia. Fuck baby. God you feel so good.” His words were strangled and he was flexing his hips up and down, circling himself inside of her. She leaned forward and ran her tongue across his lips and he groaned into her as his hands gripped her hair harder. They both finally couldn’t stand it any longer as much as they both wanted to make it last, they needed it too badly. She began moving up and down on his cock, riding him. His hands went to the cheeks of her ass and covered them, massaging them as he guided her up and down. He thrusted himself off the bed as she ground down against him, taking every inch of him deeper into of her. Their movements became faster and harder and more desperate. Mia’s stomach tightened and she could feel the butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Her breathing was ragged and frantic. She was thrusting down onto Asher faster. “Don’t stop, don’t stop.” She moaned. Asher dug his fingers into her waist and thrust up repeatedly. Her clit rubbed against Asher with each thrust. She was crying out and Asher was holding her tightly against him. He whispered, “Cum for me baby,” against her mouth and then he claimed it as the intensity of pleasure pulsed through her. She gasped and panted into his mouth and exploded around him. Her body clenched over and over around his cock and Asher groaned, “Oh god Mia, I can feel you coming. So hot, baby.” He held her tightly in place and began driving up into her hard and fast. They were both crying out when she felt him go stiff all over. His cock swelled inside of her and he cried out her name just before his explosive orgasm released into her and his body began to shake all over. She collapsed down against his chest and their sweaty bodies slid against each other.

After his body stopped quivering, Asher sat up, still holding her in his lap and still joined to her and wrapped his strong arms around her back and burrowed his face against her chest. He was hugging her so tightly that she could barely breathe, but she didn’t care. She never wanted him to let go. She brushed her fingertips lightly down his back and after several seconds passed she realized that he was shaking again and she felt moisture against her breasts.

“Asher? What is it baby? What’s wrong?” He pulled his head back and looked at her. He had tears in his eyes. “It’s okay…” she couldn’t stand for him to look so sad, especially right after they’d just made love.

One of the tears began to slowly run down his handsome face as he told her, “I’m so sorry, Mia. I’m so sorry I left. I never should have left you. I didn’t want to. God, I loved you so much.” He started to look down again but this time Mia stopped him with the tips of her fingers underneath his chin. She moved his face so she could look into his eyes and she said, “Tell me, Asher. Tell me why you left.”

Asher sucked in a deep, shaky breath and said, “My mother was tired, Mia. She was in pain all the time. You know, you saw her. But it was worse than any of us could have imagined, I guess. She wanted it to be over. She was ready to die.” He paused and Mia waited. He sucked in another breath and another silent tear made a path down his face, as he said, “She asked my father to give her extra morphine and let her go. He couldn’t do it, so she asked me.”

“Oh Asher,” Mia wrapped her hands around his head and pulled him in tighter against her chest. She kissed the top of his head. “Oh baby, I’m so sorry.”

She felt him shake his head. “No, don’t be sorry. It was what she wanted. She begged me. She didn’t want to hurt anymore. But after it was done, my father told me I killed her and we fought. I left the house to get away from him. I should have come to you, but I needed to feel numb. I went to Dean’s instead and started drinking. Travis was there.”

“It’s not your fault. Travis chose to drink and drive. He was a big boy. As far as your mom, that was a lot to put on a seventeen-year-old boy. I can’t imagine Axel having to go through that. I’m so sorry.”

“I wanted to see you. I was going to drive. Travis insisted he was fine. I was too drunk to know the difference.”

Mia’s eyes filled with tears. Her heart was breaking for him and her brother. “You were just a kid, Asher, you both were. Have you been punishing yourself this whole time?”

He shrugged. “I thought everyone hated me. I couldn’t face my own father, or you. I couldn’t stop thinking about what I had done to my mother.”

“Where did you go?”

“I called Dean. He loaned me some money and sent me to live with his aunt in South Dakota. I was only there for a month and then I joined the Army. I worked my way up to Special Ops.” He stopped there and she could tell that he was finished talking about it, for now. She just sat quietly and held him. Every so often she would kiss his head and rock him against her chest. Seventeen years of blaming himself for everything, it was too much.

Eventually Asher laid back and wrapped her up in his arms. She felt cocooned, and safer than she had in years, maybe ever. She drifted off to sleep and for the next five hours or so she experienced the most peaceful slumber of her life. The sun coming in through the blinds the next morning woke her. She smiled when she saw Asher’s face. All the lines of worry that had been there the night before were gone and his long lashes laid fanned out against his high cheekbones as he slept peacefully. She gave him a soft kiss and slipped out of bed quietly to use the bathroom.

As she was washing her hands, she noticed a brown prescription bottle on the counter. She picked it up and took a closer look. It was Asher’s prescription and it had a long name that started with an ‘R.’ Mia didn’t know what it was for and she started to worry that maybe something was wrong with him. What if he was sick? What if she lost him again? She set the bottle back down where she had found it and stepped back into the bedroom. Asher was still sleeping. God, he was so perfect.

She tucked the anxiety away and resolved to enjoy this time. This was what she had craved for nearly two decades. She wasn’t going to waste what time she had with him, worrying about when it would end. She slid back under the sheet and propped herself up on her elbow. She could look at him all day. The smooth lines of his chest made way for the bumpy, deep scars that riddled his abdomen. She let her fingers trace lightly over them and around the tribal tattoo that covered the one on his side. When she looked up at his face, his gorgeous green eyes were open.

“Hi,” he said with a sexy smile.

“Hi.” She was so entranced then by his face and his smile, she had almost forgotten her fingers were on his belly.

“Car accident,” he said.

“What?”

“The scars. They’re from the accident.” She nodded sadly and ran her fingers up to the deep one on his left shoulder. “Gun shot.” She swallowed hard and shivered slightly. Tracing her fingers down to the one on his side she said, “Tell me what happened.”