“OH MY GOD, Pam!” I laugh as Tyler pokes his head through the open window of my car, his crossed arms resting high on the top of the door frame. His bare chest fills the open space.
“Call me on your lunch break.”
I click my seat belt in place after sending an emoji in reply to Pam’s inappropriate text and drop my phone in my purse before looking at him.
“Babe, that’s not until two o’clock in the morning and you’ll be sleeping.”
“I’ll be up working on my bike. They need to drain the gas and change the plugs.”
My nose wrinkles with curiosity as I lean over for another kiss, the hold of the restraint limits my reach.
“But last week I thought your bike went faster than it’s ever gone and you set the new track record.”
“It did,” he confirms confidently.
“So why are you changing things on your bike then?”
“Because records are meant to be broken.”
I raise my eyebrows and widen my eyes. “Yeah… just as long as you don’t get broken!”
***
“WHAT A BUSY night!” Odessa grumbles, throwing herself onto the vinyl-covered seat, stretching her legs out on the table. I look over my shoulder and eye her black Crocs, commenting that she needs to buy new ones based on the worn sole.
“Oh shut it!”
“You make enough money, don’t you?” I tease, knowing she’s still paying off her medical school bills. One of the perks to being an only child was having parents who paid for everything, including my education.
“I make ends meet. I cut corners when I need to.”
The counter is covered with a smorgasbord of ethnic foods for our monthly pot luck dinner. I reach for the ladle and scoop some of Odessa’s Guyanese stew over yellow rice.
“Take that dish you’re about to eat, for example.”
After combining the gravy and rice, I look at her while shoving yet another forkful into my mouth. I hum my appreciation for the savory meal.
“Mmm…so good.”
“It’s goat liver.”
My stomach immediately revolts and I gag, spitting the food back onto the paper plate. I gargle half a bottle of water and rinse my mouth out over the sink. Turning to face her, I wipe my mouth and give her a horrible side eye.
“Why would you do that?”
Clutching her stomach, Odessa laughs.
“It was on sale.”
I dry heave and press my hand against my stomach.
“That’s disgusting!”
“But you said it was so good.”
“Yeah, but that was before I knew it was goat liver. Who the hell eats that crap anyway?”
“My people.”
She rises and stands next to me as she jabs her palms over her eyes, wiping away tears of laughter.
“Oh God, that was funny!”
Perusing the dessert table, she reaches for an Italian cookie with white icing, but I slap it out of her hand.
“No dessert for you!”
“Don’t be such a baby! I’ve made this before and you loved it.”
“I hate you!” I walk over and toss my dinner into the garbage.
“You love me.”
Hours later, my stomach reminds me that I ate goat liver and rises once again in opposition, sending me sprinting to the nearest bathroom.
“I think you poisoned me,” I bark at Odessa as we walk side by side to the waiting ambulance.
“Good Lord, woman, you’re fine.” She rolls her eyes dramatically.
“Says the goat liver eater from Guyana.”
“Maybe you’re pregnant.”
The EMTs unload a man in his early thirties, his neck fastened securely by a brace. His moans emerge as he cries out in apology. It’s reported that he is the cause of a motor vehicle accident involving alcohol. He is the drunk driver who crossed the road and slammed into a tree.
The scene is familiar and still heartbreaking.
Thirty-three minutes later, he is pronounced dead.
Overwhelmed by the death of a stranger, I find a storage closet and sob. I cry for the man whose life ended. I cry for the family now left behind. I cry for missed opportunities and chances not taken.
In this moment, I need Tyler. I need to hear his voice. I need to know he is alive and well.
“Hey babe. I was just going to text you.” The quiet tone of his voice indicates his fatigue.
I open my mouth to speak, but only silence emerges.
“Karrie, you okay?”
I quickly nod my head, not realizing he can’t see me so I muster the strength and release a squeaked “yes.” My single word resembles that of a small mouse.
“Are you crying? Are you hurt?”
I swallow hard and reply, “No.”
The shuffling sound on the other end of the phone makes me think he’s getting dressed.
“Where are you? I’m on my way.”
“No, it’s okay,” I say quietly, sighing into the phone. “I just needed to talk to you. I needed to hear your voice.”
“What happened?”
I desperately long to step into his arms and be comforted by him.
“A man died tonight. It reminded me of—”
He exhales and murmurs, “I understand. I don’t think you’ll ever get over seeing Alex die.”
“Alex?” I gasp. “This isn’t about Alex. This is about you.”
I slide down against the door and pull my knees to my chest.
“Tyler, that night when you were brought in, I worked on you. I held your heart in my hands and prayed so hard that you’d live. I didn’t understand why I needed you to live. I didn’t know then that you were the other half of me.”
Tears flow freely down my face and I hear Tyler sniff then clear his throat.
The door knob jiggles and I hear my name being called.
“I have to get back to work.”
I stand and wipe my face with my hands.
“I’ll be up for a while so call me back if you can.”
“Okay,” I agree.
“I love you, Karrie.”
“I love you more.”
“Impossible.”
I picture his grin as he says the word.
Odessa stands before me when I open the door.
“What’s wrong?”
Choosing not to answer, I smile and shake my head.
“Are you sure you’re not pregnant?” she sneers. “You’ve been all emotional and shit.”
I laugh but then freeze in my tracks. Blinking rapidly, I mentally consider her words.
“Actually…I don’t think it’s the goat liver that’s bothering my stomach. I think I might have morning sickness.”
Her dark arm links with mine and she drags me down the hall to an empty bathroom.
“Here.” She hands me a small empty container. “Go pee.”
***
I DRIVE HOME in a fog while the rising sun burns off the early morning dew. My sense of awareness is acute, everything I see looks different. I glance at the trees in full bloom and think about the never-ending cycle of life, knowing a baby grows in me. Tyler’s child. Our child.
After kicking off my shoes, I crawl into bed beside him and watch him sleep. The gentle rise and fall of his chest signals his serenity. My fingers itch to caress his face as my mind wonders about what this child will look like.
Will she have his bluish-green eyes? Will he have darker hair like mine?
Tyler’s eyes flutter open when I finally slide my arms over his bare chest, my thumb strumming as usual over his scar.
He kisses my forehead and offers a “Good morning, beautiful.” The arms I love so much wrap around me and press me flush against his warm skin. “Are you okay? I was worried about you.”
I reply with a tight smile.
“I’m okay. It was a rough night and my emotions were running high.”
He brushes the hair away from my face.
“I felt so bad. I was ready to get in my truck and come see you.”
I smile.
“I know you were. But I’m okay,” I inhale quietly, “I’m just… a little pregnant.”
Tyler shoots up into a sitting position as I tumble to his pillow.
“What did you say?” he asks, looking down at me.
“I’m pregnant.” I announce casually now that the initial shock of seeing a plus sign on the plastic stick has worn off.
He pounces on me, wedging himself between my legs and bearing his weight on his elbows.
“You’re having a baby? My baby?”
I grin at his disbelief.
“No, actually it’s Mr. Magoo’s.”
He narrows his eyes humorously.
“Yes. We’re having a baby.”
“I’m going to be a father? I’m going to be someone’s dad?”
“You are. And you’re going to be an incredible daddy.”
A rapid succession of blinking makes me think he’s overwhelmed, simply running on autopilot.
“Tyler, are you okay with this? I mean…we’ve talked about starting a family after we got married. The timing is a little off, but…”
He snaps out of the trance.
“Am I okay? I’ve never been happier in my life. Karrie, we did this. We —”
His words fall silent as he buries his face in my neck, the torrent of emotion breaking through the stoic damn.
Moments later with his head hung low, he moves down my body, removing the article of clothing away from my belly.
His lips graze my skin before he places what feels like a thousand gentle kisses.
“I love you,” he murmurs.
I don’t know if he’s talking to me or our unborn child, but either way my heart fills with unimaginable happiness.