WITH THE FINAL race of the season just days away, Tyler spends every spare second tweaking and perfecting his motorcycle. Air shifter. Nitrous bottle. Tire pressure. He leaves nothing to chance as this is one opportunity to prove he’s the best grudge drag racer in the country.
Each night, he fires up the laptop and reviews videos, statistics and times of his previous races and those of his opponent.
He wants to win. He wants to be the best of the best.
***
“SO OTHER THAN that one time, you haven’t experienced other symptoms?” my doctor asks after completing an exam.
“No.” I shake my head. “Just that once.”
“I think she was getting sick. That’s the day you cancelled lunch, isn’t it?”
I swallow, feeling agitated. “Yeah, I had a headache or something.”
After a series of questions, my doctor is convinced that I’m fine. Our baby is showing signs of perfect health and growth. I just wish he’d let me sleep at night.
“Do you think I’ll be fine to travel down south for the weekend?” I ask, knowing despite what the doctor recommends, I’ll be right beside Tyler.
“You should be fine. Stay hydrated. It’s pretty hot down there.”
“Have you stepped outside this morning? This heat and humidity is killing me! Look at my feet!”
Tyler suppresses a smile at my cankles then shakes the doctor’s hand, thanking her before she steps out of the room.
“Guess you’re going to be wearing flipflops to our wedding.”
I sigh in exasperation.
“We should’ve waited until after I had this baby to get married. I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea.”
“Because you said you couldn’t wait to marry me!” He leans in for a kiss, tickling my lips with his.
I smirk. “I think it was the other way around, mister.”
He nods slowly, eyeing me with desire. “You’re right. I have waited a long time for you.”
With our September wedding around the corner, the venue has been paid for and secured. The seaside restaurant patio is the perfect setting for us to exchange our vows. Only those closest to us, important people who have been there from the start of us, will be in attendance.
Tyler and I don’t need to put on a show for anyone.
***
LITTLE MAN CONTINUES to keep me awake at night; only the sound of Tyler’s voice settles him.
Exhaustion from sleep deprivation is clear with each passing day. My mother insists on taking me for a pregnancy massage. I grab my bag and waddle outside when I hear her car pull into the driveway. If I sit, I won’t be able to get up again. If I blink too long, I’ll fall asleep.
“Oh, Karrie! You look so tired.”
After struggling with my seatbelt, I break down into a fit of tears. I’m a hot mess.
My mother wraps her arms around and encourages me to release the emotion.
“What’s wrong? Are you having second thoughts?” She eyes me knowingly.
I shake my head and wipe my eyes.
“No. Not at all. I’m a thousand percent sure about Tyler. It’s just…look at me! I’m fat and swollen and he hasn’t touched me all week.”
My mother chuckles.
“He’s a typical man! You know he’s probably afraid to hurt the baby, but let me tell you something…no man is that big!’
Laughter erupts and fills the air.
“You have such a way with words, Mom!”
“What else is bothering you?” she asks using a tone laced with her motherly concern.
After an internal battle with my insecurity, I confess the truth.
“This woman Penny has been calling him.” I quickly defend him. “But he never takes her call.”
“Who is she?” My mom asks as we pull out onto the street and drive on the main road.
Clearing my throat, I inhale sharply. “Alex’s lover.”
My body thrusts forward when my mother slams her foot down on the brake.
“Alex was having an affair?” Her eyes grow wide and wild with shock.
I cast my eyes down to my belly and nod solemnly. “He wasn’t very faithful to me or our marriage.”
“That son of a bitch! It’s no secret that I never liked him, but I never suspected infidelity.”
“He changed so much throughout our marriage. He wasn’t the same man when he died that night.” I stare out the window in remembrance as sadness overwhelms me.
“Did…did he ever… hit you?”
My heart cracks and my eyes fill with pent up anger and pain.
“Karrie?”
My eyes meet hers. Wordlessly I confirm her worst nightmare.
Devastation drags her mouth down into a hard frown. Her head shakes in disbelief and her chin quivers violently as her grip on the steering wheel tightens.
“Don’t tell your father.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “I won’t. I never planned on telling you either.”
“That bastard!”
We pull into the parking lot of the day spa; the two of us agitated and upset.
“This is the last thing I will say about Alex Parker,” my mother hisses vehemently, slamming her index finger into the ignition button and turning off the car’s engine. “The only good thing that came from knowing him was meeting Tyler.” Her voice cracks before she clears her throat. “That man is crazy about you. I know he would never hurt you, Karrie.”
I nod in agreement, adding “I know. He’s a really good man.”
For the next ninety minutes, I forget about my former life, suppressing any lingering thoughts as I lose myself in an incredible pampering from head to toe. I return home later that afternoon calm, cool and collected. Every muscle has been worked, the tension in my back now gone, my mind restored fully on my upcoming nuptials in less than a month.
My mother has enjoyed herself immensely planning the big day after not having had much of a say the first time around. The wedding planner I was essentially told to hire had ideas of her own. With Alex footing the bill for the huge and spectacular occasion, she aimed to please him not me.
“What are you thinking about?” Tyler asks, coming behind me and kissing my neck.
I stare at the newest round of creative logos designed by my mom, my hand resting on the mouse.
Craning my neck to the side, I close my eyes and enjoy the deluge of affection.
“Our wedding,” I mumble, relishing the feel of his lips on me. “Thank you for letting our moms have such a big part in it.”
“It’s not like we’ve done this before,” he whispers in my ear and then freezes, realizing his error.
“We’ve not done this together. None of this.” My hand drops and caresses my big round belly. His chin rests on my shoulder as his hands cover mine.
I turn to face him and run my palm over his two-day old scruff.
“I can’t wait to meet him.” His excitement is shaded with a hint of apprehension.
“Me, too.” I smile.
“I remember when Tre was a baby. I wanted nothing more than to protect him since my brother wasn’t there to do it. It’s insane how much I love this little man and I haven’t even seen him yet.”
“Are you going to cut the cord?”
“Absolutely! I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”
“Good!” I seal my word with a kiss.
***
AGAIN, I AWAKEN in the wee hours of the morning, but this time it’s a sharp stabbing sensation in my lower abdomen that forces me up. I howl in pain and inadvertently wake Tyler.
With wide, panicked eyes, Tyler inquires about my state, kneeling quickly before me.
“Shit!” I hiss, blowing out a slow breath. My face contorts as my eyes scrunch into tight slits.
“Karrie! What can I do?”
“Get me to the bathroom. I think I peed on myself.”
Tyler hops off the bed and tosses the comforter back. Shrieking in horror, he tells me there’s blood everywhere.
Dread immobilizes me. Doom threatens me.
“Call my mother.”
Seconds later my mother advises me to go directly to the emergency room and promises to meet us there.
“Ty, I’m scared,” I cry as I scramble to get unsoiled clothes on.
“Don’t be scared, baby. We’re okay. He’s okay.”
I want to believe him, but distress steals his confidence and assurance.
All the way to the hospital, I cry quietly and pray for my baby boy.
Thankful for my mother’s forethought to call her friends in the department, I’m rushed into a waiting room as Dr. Stephens comes in followed by Lisa, one of the other nurses I normally work with.
“Hi, Karrie. What’s the matter? You couldn’t stay away from us?” He smiles, trying to ease the tension radiating from me.
I smile weakly at Dr. Stephens and confess, “I’m really scared.”
“I know you are, but we’re going to do everything we can for you and this little one of yours.”
While my mother steps out of the room, Tyler remains by my side during my exam.
“Placenta previa.”
“Placenta what?” Tyler ask with great concern.
Dr. Stephens provides a detailed explanation of the complication which affects women in their last trimester.
I nod. “Okay. So now that we know what it is, what can we do about it?”
“You’ll need to be on bedrest for a few days. No intercourse. No traveling.”
I glance at Tyler.
“What about the baby? Is he going to be okay?”
“We’re going to start you on steroids to make sure his lungs mature normally.”
“That’s it?”
“Rest. I can’t stress that enough. Think of it as an early vacation before the sleepless nights.”
Dr. Stephens accepts Tyler’s extended hand of thanks and shakes it firmly.
“Good and strong. I’m glad to see you’re doing so well, young man.”
Captivated, I watch as the two men share a silent private moment.
Before I arrive back at home, my mother has cleaned the blood stain and changed the sheets. I finally settle in and fall asleep in Tyler’s arm.
I dream of the open grassy field once again.
***
“ABSOLUTELY NOT! YOU are not going to miss the finals! Are you out of your mind?”
The argument is now going on ten minutes with my insistence that he continues to race while I stay home and rest. Although I hate to miss it, I need to follow the doctor’s orders and keep our little boy safe.
“I don’t care about the goddamn race! I can’t leave you! And besides, it won’t mean anything if I win and you’re not there.”
“Losing your confidence, I see.”
“What?” he snaps.
“You said if you win not when you win.”
“I’m not going.”
His voice fades as he rounds the corner and leaves the room.
I huff with exasperation, contemplating a plan to get him to go.
Carrying his laptop, he walks back into the room and props himself up in bed.
“What are you doing?”
“I have a couple of bids to finish,” he answers without looking at me which proves he’s more upset than he’s letting on.
“Do you love me?”
His fingers freeze on the keyboard as his eyes meet mine. “You know I do.”
“And you’d do anything for me?”
“You know that, too.”
“Then please race. I want you to. It’s important that you do.”
“But—”
“But nothing. I’ll be right here, probably still in bed when you get back.”
His eyes light up, shining briefly with happiness, but then the struggle ensues.
“Please…for me.”
“I’ll come right home. I won’t even spend the night!”
“That’s crazy! I don’t want you driving home that late. I’ll be right here. I promise.”
His mouth crashes against mine.
“I love you! Do you know that?”
I shrug nonchalantly. “Yeah, you might’ve said it once or twice.”
Suddenly Tyler reaches for his laptop and types feverishly.
“Here!” He points the screen. “They live stream everything so you can watch.”
A smile spreads across my face and my heart races with excitement.
“Just be careful!” I caress his face then slide my hand to my belly, rubbing in small circles.
“Our baby boy needs his daddy.”