CHAPTER 20
Gavin
“Where are you going?” Charlie asked, sounding confused.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
I’d hoped that I’d be able to satisfy myself with just a taste of Charlie, but all it had done was solidify my unrelenting need for her. I fished into the pocket of my discarded pants to pull out a condom. Hell, even before we’d gotten here I’d probably known that I’d find myself in this position.
I was screwed.
I always had been when it came to the beautiful, adorable, innocent woman in my bed. Maybe I’d known that making her mine was inevitable, even when I’d bought a box of condoms on a pit stop when we were coming to the safe house.
“You have condoms?” she asked in a quiet voice. “Do you always have one in your pocket?”
I clenched the package and plopped back onto the bed. Hearing the vulnerability in her voice, I knew it was time to tell her one more truth. Stretching out next to her, I stroked her damp hair, marveling over the fact that this amazing creature actually wanted me. “No, love. I never have them with me these days. I won’t bullshit you and tell you that I haven’t had my share of women, but I haven’t had sex with anybody since what happened with Kane. I couldn’t.”
She scrunched up her brows in the adorable way she always did when she was thinking. “Why?”
I shrugged. “I couldn’t. Every time I thought about sex, it brought up my past, so the two became linked in my mind. As a result, I’ve avoided sex altogether.” But holy fuck…I was making up for lost time with Charlie.
Charlie reached up and grasped my hand and laid it on her chest. “We’re different when we’re together,” she said in a soft, soothing voice. “This is something wonderful for me, Gavin,” she confessed.
Looking at the wide-eyed innocent expression on her adorable face, I had to completely agree. I was different when I was with her, and my need for her was raw and real. Maybe that intensity pushed aside my guilt and my past.
Releasing her hand, I rolled on the condom, savoring the sensation of my cock pulsating in my hand before I slowly lowered my body over hers, unable to take my eyes away from her adoring gaze.
Charlie wanted me.
She needed me.
But most of all, she accepted me for exactly who I was, and that realization had my chest aching and my heart galloping as I stroked some loose strands of hair away from her face.
Finally, I answered, “This is something incredible for me, too, sweetheart. Maybe it’s something I don’t deserve, but I don’t want to fight it anymore. I need you, too, Charlie. More than you could ever imagine.”
This woman was starting to mean everything to me, and I knew as sure as the sun was going to rise that there was no way I’d ever let her go once I had her.
Mine!
“Don’t fight it,” she insisted. “I’ve been waiting for you, for this. All my life I’ve been desperate to feel wanted, even if it was just for a short period of time.”
“Baby, I’m always going to want you. Make no mistake about that,” I said gruffly as I shifted my body to take her. “There’s never going to be another period in your life where you won’t be wanted. Not as long as I’m breathing.”
I had no idea what kind of number the people in her life had done to Charlie, but it made me fucking insane just to think about her not feeling adored and cherished like she should be.
Her happy sigh made me feel like the most powerful guy in the world, and as I lowered my head to kiss her, I buried myself inside her with one strong stroke, hoping I could quickly move past the painful part.
I inhaled her gasp of surprise as I covered her lips, coaxing them open as I struggled with the desire to pound into her tight little body. And God, she was tight. I could feel her muscles stretching to accept me, slick and full to capacity.
Her body was tense, but her arms wrapped tightly around me, and as I stayed still and nipped and licked the sensitive skin of her neck, Charlie relaxed. “You okay, love?” I asked in a husky voice.
“Yeah. I’m okay,” she said in a breathless voice.
I peppered kisses on her face, her neck, and her shoulders, waiting for her to give me a sign that she was ready.
It was the longest minute I’d ever experienced.
My cock was throbbing inside her, wedged tightly inside her like it belonged there and always had. My control was dangling by a thin thread, the only thing keeping me from losing it was her innocence and a fear that I’d hurt her.
I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding when she hesitantly wrapped her legs around my waist. “More, Gavin. Please.”
They were the sweetest words I’d ever heard, and my body, damp with perspiration from holding back, finally shuddered in relief as I pulled back, then buried myself again.
“Yes,” she moaned.
That was all I needed to finally let go.
I started as slowly as I could, but I was pounding into her after a few strokes, guided by her body lifting up to meet me, our skin slapping together in our urgent need for each other.
“Mine,” I barked, so overwhelmed by the animalistic desire to claim her completely as my own that I couldn’t stop the compulsion.
Her nails bit into my back, but I loved the erotic pain. Charlie was claiming me just as surely as I was claiming her.
“Gavin!” Her pleasured scream was sweet, and I shifted to grind into her with every thrust.
“Take what you need, baby,” I demanded.
I could feel the pressure at the base of my spine, and I knew I wasn’t going to last much longer.
Charlie’s sweet body started to undulate against me, and I nipped at her shoulder and her neck, getting lost in the feel of our bodies both straining together to reach one goal.
“Fuck me harder, Gavin.”
Her desperate plea made me lose it. I pummeled into her hard and fast, and she pushed up against me, unafraid of taking exactly what she wanted.
My heart was fucking hammering by the time she started to climax, and the clenching, hot flesh of her tight pussy milked me to my own explosive release.
The orgasm rocked me, tilting my whole damn world off-balance as I came with an intensity I’d never experienced before.
“Charlie!” I shouted in a hoarse voice, holding onto her like she was the most precious thing I’d ever had. She was worth hanging onto with everything I had because she actually was the best thing that had ever happened to me.
My chest was still heaving as my world finally tilted upright again, and all that could be heard in the bedroom was the sound of our heavy breathing. I knew I should roll off her, but I couldn’t bring myself to let go of her, or disconnect myself from her body while I was trying to recover from something I already knew was a life-changing event for me.
Burying my face into the side of her neck, I willed my heart to slow down, and the emotions I was experiencing to calm. My body eventually responded, but my feelings were still raw. I relished the feel of Charlie stroking her hands over my hair and then my back, wallowed in the sense of not feeling alone for the first time in my life.
“I have to move,” I finally told her.
“Why?” she asked as she stretched against me like a happy cat.
Slowly, I disconnected our bodies and rose to my knees to dispose of the used condom, my heart sinking as I saw the smudges of blood on her thighs and the surface of the latex. I rolled off the bed and strode into the bathroom, dumping the condom and bringing back a moist, warm towel.
I wiped the perspiration from her face, and stroked back her damp hair, then used the towel to swipe the blood from her thighs before I placed it against her core.
“I hurt you,” I stated flatly. “I’m sorry.”
“That feels good, but I could have cleaned up,” she protested weakly. “And it only hurt in the beginning. I don’t think there’s a way to avoid a little bit of pain. But the rest of it was worth it.”
Charlie had given me something special and amazing, a precious gift of innocence in a world where I’d known very little except survival. I still didn’t quite understand why, but I wasn’t going to question something this fantastic.
I stretched out beside her and gathered her into my arms, not even trying to resist the possessive and protective instincts I had for her.
She reached down and tossed the towel to the floor and cuddled up against me.
We fell asleep in a mass of tangled limbs, sleeping hard until we woke up in the exact same position.