Bastard! Sazar thought furiously as he rushed through the glass tunnels of Idd, dragging Sarah along behind him. Oath breaker…liar…violator! He was all these things and worse—he had done everything to Sarah he had promised he wouldn’t do.
And the worst thing was, he had enjoyed it—had gotten pleasure from the acts he was committing.
I took her virginity, he accused himself. Not only that—I took her in public, in full view of the entire Alquon court. Then I filled her with my seed which I swore I wouldn’t do. And all the time I was violating her, she had to pretend she liked it.
Of course Sarah had pretended to like it—to like what he was doing to her. She’d played her part well, moaning for him to fill her when she was probably dying inside.
She ran from a forced breeding, escaped from the cult where she was raised at great danger and expense to herself and what do I do the moment she comes to me? Do I protect her as I swore I would? No, I abuse her—strip her of her virginity and breed her. I subject her to the hell she was running from in the first place. Now she’ll hate me and want to leave me—she’ll probably go as soon as we reach the Mother Ship and I don’t blame her.
The fact that he’d taken her virginity was the worst, he thought. Among his own people, a female’s virginity was considered all-important. And a male who took it without her permission—who violated her—was criminal scum—the worst of the worst.
That’s me, he thought grimly. The very fucking worst.
There was only one bright point—at least for Sarah—in this whole dark mess. Though he had filled her with his seed, Sazar had managed to keep from biting her and injecting her with his essence during the moment of ejaculation. They might have fucked—well, he had fucked her—but they had not had bonding sex. So at least Sarah wasn’t tied permanently to him and they didn’t share the mental bond which all Kindred form with their mates at the moment of bonding sex.
Thinking of that bond of intimacy—longing for it—made Sazar even more aware of what he’d lost. He’d come to love his little human assistant—he saw that clearly now. But after what he’d done, he could never have her—never bind her to him permanently as he desperately longed to.
Once more he felt the sharp ache of sudden loss, just as he’d felt when he came home for lunch almost two years before and had found Malinda lying cold on the floor while Tsandor cried in confusion over her body. His young, lovely wife—gone in an instant. Exactly the way Sarah would be gone the moment she had a chance to get away.
And this time the loss was his own fault.
Goddess, he thought. Why must I always lose what I love? Why does everything I touch turn to ashes?
He had no answers—only a pain so deep he felt numb.
* * * * *
Why is he in such a rush? Does he really think The Lord Magnate is coming after us? Is he? Do we really need to go so fast?
Sarah’s thoughts went around and around in a circle and she hardly noticed it when they found themselves in front of their room.
“In,” Sazar growled, unlocking the door with his palm print and pushing her inside. “Put on some decent clothes and pack. We are leaving immediately.”
Decent clothes…
His words made her look down at herself with fresh eyes and she winced at what she saw.
The decadent gold and diamond breast chain and nipple bands still glittered, emphasizing her bare breasts. Her split skirt was open, showing the fact that she was bare underneath it—her tiny golden breeding panties had been left on the throne room floor. Her thighs were still wet with her juices but not with the big Kindred’s seed.
That’s because it’s up inside me, Sarah thought. That cork thing—the stay-tight—is holding it in there.
Suddenly the words of the breeding attendant came back to Sarah’s mind.
“There—now you’re set. The stay-tight will dissolve after twenty-four standard hours but until then it’s going to hold all that lovely seed deep in your pussy and give it time to take root in your belly.”
A big belly—pregnant. It’s going to make me pregnant if I don’t get it out!
And she knew from experience what happened when a woman got pregnant by her boss. She thought of Sister Hope’s tear-stained face as she left the office with orders never to return. She had thought that Father Caleb cared for her—that he loved her. But the moment she was no longer pretty and sexy, he had gotten rid of her.
Oh God, is that going to happen to me? Is Sazar going to fire me now?
She had been about to go to the pink carry-all cube and start packing as he had ordered but she bolted to the bathroom instead, panic rising in her like a wave.
Get it out—I have to get it out! she thought frantically. But though she worked frantically between her legs and scratched herself badly with her own fingernails, the clear stay-tight cork refused to be extracted.
“Sarah?” There was a heavy knocking on the bathroom door. “Sarah we need to go. Get out here now.”
At last Sarah gave up.
If I’m going to get pregnant it’s probably already happened, she thought unhappily. And if Sazar is going to fire me, there’s nothing I can do about it.
Feeling dejected and rejected, she came out and brushed past the big Kindred to go pack.