“I’m sorry to say that it doesn’t appear things went well for you,” Commander Sylvan said neutrally as they watched Sarah climb stiffly into a ship piloted by a Beast Kindred who had orders to take her back down to Earth.
“No,” Sazar growled. “It’ didn’t.”
“What happened?” Sylvan raised one blond eyebrow at him. “If I may ask.”
“As my commanding officer, of course you can ask—though I wish I didn’t have to tell it.” Sazar sighed deeply. “We were put into a…sexual situation there was no getting out of. The Alquons demanded we attend and participate in their ‘Breeding Ball’.”
“They demanded it?” Sylvan frowned.
“On pain of being fed to a very large carnivorous fish,” Sazar said dryly. “I…” He cleared his throat, wishing he didn’t have to say this but knowing he needed to. “I took her virginity,” he said to Sylvan in a low voice. As a fellow Blood Kindred, the other male would understand the gravity of the situation and the great evil Sazar had done.
Sylvan raised both eyebrows in surprise.
“So…you bonded her to you?”
Sazar shook his head. “No, thank the Goddess I at least managed not to do that. I knew she would hate me after what I did—I didn’t want to tie her to me for life on top of it.”
“I see…” Sylvan nodded, his blue eyes thoughtful. “And are you quite certain she hates you now?”
“You saw how eager she was to leave me,” Sazar motioned to the ship which had taken off and was preparing to go through the permeable atmosphere dome.
“Yes, but sometimes with Earth females there can be…misunderstandings. Cultural differences can magnify arguments and grievances,” Sylvan said. “Just because we learn their languages quickly doesn’t mean we understand everything about our Earth females.”
“Sarah isn’t mine—not anymore,” Sazar said bitterly. “And she never will be again. Commander Sylvan, may I be excused? I know we have to do a debriefing but—”
“We’ll do it tomorrow,” Sylvan assured him. “Until then, try to get a good night’s rest. You must be weary.”
“More weary than you know.” Sazar turned away but not before he saw the ship bearing Sarah back to Earth pierce the atmosphere dome and disappear into the darkness of space.
Goodbye Ladara, he thought, his heart filled with sorrow. I’m so sorry for what I did. I hope that someday maybe you can forgive me.
* * * * *
The ride down to Earth was silent and Sarah thanked the driver who nodded casually and immediately took off again, headed back to the Mother Ship. She blinked back tears to see him go and wondered what Sazar was thinking—then pushed the thought away.
Forget him, she told herself. He’s probably already forgotten you.
She set out determinedly for the shelter but she hadn’t even gotten three steps out of the Tampa Human Kindred Relations building before she realized she’d made a big mistake.
Not by telling off Sazar or leaving the Mother Ship—she didn’t regret that for a minute, she told herself. Her mistake had been telling him off and leaving before she got the big Kindred to help her take the Alquon nipple jewelry off.
She was still wearing the gold and diamond breast jewelry under her red sweater and she had no way to take it off herself. Not only that, it made her nipples poke out like two sore thumbs. She hadn’t gone half a block before she noticed men staring at her, their eyes wide as they took in her large breasts and extremely prominent assets.
Sarah marched down the street, trying to ignore them. She also tried to ignore how hot she was. Up on the cool, temperature controlled Mother Ship the fuzzy red long-sleeved sweater had seemed like a perfect choice. Kat had talked her into buying it, assuring her that she looked fabulous in it. But there was a big temperature difference between the Mother Ship and Tampa, Florida.
Even though it was the day before Christmas Eve and the streets were decorated with holiday cheer, the sun beat down mercilessly. It was eighty-five degrees and humid—Sarah was drenched in sweat before she even reached the corner.
She turned down a small side street to get into the shade of one of the larger buildings and continued trudging along. She wished she could change into one of the thinner t-shirts she had also purchased on the Mother Ship but she knew her nipples would be even more prominent in one of those.
I guess I could try to wear a bra over the jewelry and put on a t-shirt over that, she thought doubtfully. But would a bra fit over the breast chain? She was afraid it was more likely that the compression of a bra would cause the chain to tug unmercifully and her nipples were already sore from wearing the gold and diamond bands longer than she should have.
Go back, whispered a little voice in her head. Go back and talk to Sazar. Ask him for help. How are you ever going to get those bands off otherwise?
But her heart was sore and proud and she couldn’t bear the idea of going back to beg the big Kindred’s help. He’d used her and tossed her away, the big jerk! She never wanted to see him again.
But how are you going to get them off yourself? whispered that maddeningly practical little voice. Cut them off? Melt them off?
Just the thought of anything sharp enough or hot enough to cut or melt metal near her sensitive nipples was enough to make her wince. But still she went on.
I’ll go back to the shelter, she told herself stubbornly. Maybe I can get some help there.
Although from whom she had no idea.
She was just thinking that maybe she would duck into a fast food restaurant and at least try to put on a bra so she could wear a thin t-shirt instead of the stifling sweater when a big silver Buick pulled up by the curb next to her in a no parking zone.
At first Sarah paid no attention. She was too busy thinking about how her nipples were being rubbed raw by the rough weave of the sweater and how hot and miserable she felt in the too-hot clothes she had on.
Then a familiar face appeared in front of her.
“Well hello, Sister Sarah,” a man said.
Sarah gasped and her eyes went wide as she recognized Charlie Dearborn, one of the Controllers from The Brotherhood of Peace.
“Is it really her?” Another familiar face poked out of the silver Buick’s driver side window—Amos Hammond, also a Controller.
“It’s her all right. Can’t believe we finally found you, Sister Sarah.” Charlie began stalking towards her. He had close-set eyes in a big, round head and his breath always stank due to his peculiar fondness for raw onion and mustard sandwiches.
The sight of him made Sarah sick. He was one of the men who might have taken her after Father Caleb was done with her. He only had one wife right now and he’d indicated to her on more than one occasion that he wouldn’t mind having her as a second.
“Get back from me. Get away!” Sarah swung the carry-all cube at him, causing him to jump back.
“But we can’t do that, Sister Sarah,” Amos said coaxingly. He got out of the car and began advancing too. He was tall and skinny with big-boned, freckled wrists that always poked too far out of his coat sleeves. His long, skinny fingers reached for her, making Sarah shudder.
“Don’t touch me!” She held the carry-all in front of her menacingly, wishing she had another weapon.
“Father Caleb sent us especially to bring you back to the Compound,” Charlie said.
“I don’t want to go back!” Sarah exclaimed, backing away from them. “And you can’t take me! You don’t own me!”
“Oh yes we do,” Amos hissed, his thin, freckled face twisted in a sneer. “Once the Prophet’s property, always the Prophet’s property. You know that, Sister Sarah.”
“Stop calling me Sister!” Sarah yelled. “I’m not your sister and I don’t belong at the Compound. I hate it there—I always have.”
“Well that’s too bad because you’re going back.” Charlie lunged at her and she swung her case at him again, catching him squarely in his considerable gut with the heavy pink cube.
“Oof!” He stumbled backwards, his face going red. “You’ll pay for that, Sister. When the Prophet is done with you I’ll take you on as a second wife and teach you some manners!”
“Like hell you will!”
Sarah didn’t waste any more words. She dropped the case and ran as fast as she could.
Back to the HKR building, she thought desperately as she pelted down the sidewalk. I have to get back to the HKR building. I’ll be safe there. The Kindred won’t let them take me!
She was just beginning to think she would make it—the larger street she’d left to get out of the sunlight was just ahead—when someone grabbed the back of her sweater and yanked hard.
Sarah was jerked backwards and the neck of the sweater caught her right in the throat. She began to gasp and choke as she was reeled backwards.
“Grab her!” she heard Charlie yell hoarsely.
“I got her—keep your voice down,” Amos hissed. Long, horribly strong, skinny fingers wrapped around her arm.
Sarah did her best to struggle but she was still trying to get her breath back.
“Leave me alone. Help me! Help,” she yelled, or tried to yell anyway.
But the small side street they were on was deserted. Where was everyone anyway? Probably at the mall doing last minute Christmas shopping. Or maybe sitting on their butts at home shopping online. Whichever it was, they weren’t there to hear Sarah shouting—no one was.
“Help!” she managed to yell one more time but then Amos’s other hand clamped over her mouth and she was dragged over to the idling Buick.
Before she could do or say anything else, Amos was shoving her in the trunk while Charlie took the wheel.
“Time to go, Sister Sarah,” he said, smirking at her. “After all, you wouldn’t want to miss your chance to be a Bride of the Prophet, would you?”
He and Charlie roared with laughter as the trunk slammed closed, locking her in suffocating darkness.
There was a jolt and Buick sped off down the deserted street, heading for the Compound and the nightmare Sarah had thought she’d left behind her forever.
* * * * *
“Commander Sazar, I’m sorry to bother you so late.” The apologetic voice came from the 3-D viewer on the stand by his bed. A vaguely familiar female face was projected there, seeming to hover in mid-air over the small device. Sazar couldn’t quite place her although he felt like he ought to know her somehow.
“That’s all right—I wasn’t sleeping,” he said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. In fact, sleep was the farthest thing from his mind. Though he had lain down and closed his eyes, he was too tormented by guilt and shame and regret to drift off. He kept seeing the tears in Sarah’s eyes when she’d told him goodbye and wishing he had handled the situation differently.
I should have apologized and begged her forgiveness instead of getting so angry and defensive! I knew she would hate me after I had to take her virginity but I probably made her hate me even more by the way I acted. What’s wrong with me?
His debriefing was tomorrow and he needed to try and get some rest but at this rate, Sazar felt he might never sleep again. So he actually welcomed the call and the interruption of his own tortured thoughts.
“I’m glad I didn’t wake you,” the caller said. “It’s about your son.”
“Tsandor?” A cold fist clenched his heart. “Is he all right? Did he hurt himself? What happened?”
“He’s perfectly fine,” the caller said—now Sazar was able to place her, she worked at the constant care house where Tsandor stayed.
“If he’s fine then why are you calling me at…” Tsandor glanced at the clock. “Oh-four hundred hours?”
“I know it’s early…or rather late, to be getting to bed,” the woman said apologetically. “But you see, Tsandor’s been having nightmares and calling for you all night. I’ve tried everything to calm him down and nothing is working.” She made a worried face. “He’s so worked up he can hardly breathe from crying. I’m afraid he’s going to make himself have some kind of a fit if he can’t calm down.”
Sazar felt a stab of guilt. Tsandor had had night terrors in the past but only Malinda had been able to calm the boy down. He thought about telling the care giver that—telling her that the only person who could calm Tsandor was dead and there was nothing he could do.
But then he remembered Sarah’s words.
“He abandoned me the same way you’ve abandoning Tsandor by never going to see him, by not giving him the love that he needs… Kids grow up fast…love him while you can.”
The memory pierced deep.
I abandoned her and hurt her and pushed her away as surely as her own father did, Sazar thought ruefully. The same way I abandoned Tsandor to the constant care house because I couldn’t deal with how much he looked like Malinda…because I couldn’t answer his questions about when she was coming home.
Gods, he hated himself.
“I know you’re a busy man and I probably shouldn’t have bothered you—” the caregiver woman said.
“No.” Sazar shook his head. “No, don’t apologize. I’ll come. Tell Tsandor I’m on my way.”
He got up and threw on some clothing. He had no idea what he could do to calm his son down—he’d barely seen him lately and it had always been Malinda the boy adored anyway. But he had an obligation to try—he was Tsandor’s father and it was time he started acting like it.
It was a short trip to the constant care house and he saw that the lights in the front room were on as he knocked at the door. The woman who had called him—Lola, was that her name?—opened the door holding a sobbing Tsandor in her arms.
Sazar’s heart clenched when he saw the small face, twisted in misery. Tears were pouring down his round cheeks and he was crying so hard he could hardly catch his breath. He clung to Lola tightly, his small body wracked with sobs.
“Tsandor?” he said, feeling helpless and useless at the same time. “It’s me—Patro.” Patro was the Blood Kindred version of “Daddy” as Mamam meant “Mommy.”
At first he was certain his son wouldn’t respond. It had been too long since Malinda had died and Sazar had made too few visits, always running from his own grief, unable to bear to see his small son.
But then, to his surprise, Tsandor looked up, his crystal-blue eyes still filled with tears, and held out his arms.
“P-patro,” he whispered brokenly and then he was in Sazar’s arms and Sazar was hugging him tight.
Guilt flooded him but so did love—a love he had almost forgotten because it had been submerged in grief. A feeling of protective tenderness rose in his chest and he crushed the little boy to him, feeling the strong little arms wrap around his neck as Tsandor clung to him, still sobbing.
“Tsandor,” he whispered, his own voice tight with emotion. “What is it? What has you so upset in the middle of the night?”
And then his son said something which froze his heart.
“Sarah,” he said, pulling back to look at his father with wide, tear-filled eyes. “The bad men took Sarah. And if you don’t get her back they’re gonna do something awful to her.”
“What?” He looked at Tsandor in disbelief. “What do you know about Sarah? How do you know?”
“It’s a bad dream,” Lola the caregiver said quickly. “When your new assistant, Sarah, came to visit Tsandor a couple of days ago he really took to her and he’s been talking about her ever since. I think he just had a nightmare because he misses her.”
“No!” Tsandor insisted. “No, it’s not just a bad dream. I mean it is, but it isn’t just.”
“Tsandor, honey—don’t you want to go back to bed?” Lola asked gently. “Come on now, I’m sure Sarah will come see you again soon.”
“She can’t come because the bad men took her!” Tsandor broke into fresh sobs. “I saw her, Patro,” he said to Sazar. “I saw her walking down the street in her red shirt. And she was holding a big pink box. Then the men came and took her! I saw her!”
The cold hand that had gripped his heart when Tsandor first mentioned Sarah’s name turned to ice. He remembered the red sweater Sarah had changed into before they left Alquon Ultrea. She’d been wearing it when she left the Mother Ship and carrying the pink carry-all cube which had all her clothing in it.
How could Tsandor possibly know that?
“I saw them take her, Patro!” The little boy’s face was a mask of tears. “Please go get her—bring her back before they hurt her. Please!” He buried his hot little face in Sazar’s neck, his words muffled but still understandable. “The Goddess sent her for you and me. And now she’s gone.”
Sazar felt like a big hand had reached down his throat and turned him inside out so that his heart was beating on the outside of his body.
She’s in trouble…the Goddess sent her…the bad men took her…
He remembered the things Sarah had told him about The Brotherhood of Peace. She hadn’t wanted to talk about it much but she’d admitted it was a cult she had escaped from—and that they would be looking for her. It was why she’d wanted to take a job on the Mother Ship to begin with—to keep away from those she’d run from.
And I drove her away—drove her back down to Earth, Sazar thought, feeling sick. It’s my fault she left—my fault if she’s in the hands of The Brotherhood right now.
He had to go find her! He would call the shelter first—maybe she would be there. Maybe Tsandor’s dream was just a nightmare, not reality.
But somehow Sazar didn’t think so.
“Tsandor,” he said, stroking the golden curly head gently. “I’m sorry but I have to go now.”
“Are you going to go find Sarah?” The little boy looked up hopefully. “Please Patro—please find her.”
“I’m going to try,” Sazar said grimly. “Did you dream anything else? About where they took her?”
Tsandor shook his head.
“No—just that it was someplace bad she didn’t want to go.”
The Compound, Sazar thought. It must be the Compound place she talked about, where the Brotherhood’s headquarters are at.
But where was the Compound? Somewhere on Earth was all he knew. Probably in the vicinity of Tampa.
Well that really narrows it down, whispered a sarcastic little voice in his head.
I’ll find it—I’ll find her. I have to!
He kissed Tsandor’s flushed cheek and handed the little boy back to his caregiver, Lola.
She looked back and forth from Sazar to the quieted Tsandor uncertainly.
“So…you’re going to go get Sarah to make Tsandor feel better? Isn’t she somewhere on the Mother Ship?”
“I’m afraid not.” Sazar felt his jaw clench and his hands fisted at his sides. “She’s somewhere down on Earth. But I’m going to find her.”
“Hurry, Patro.” Tsandor’s crystal blue eyes were wide and worried. “Hurry—they’re going to do bad things to her soon. I know it—I saw it.”
“I swear I’ll hurry.” Reaching out, he stroked the boy’s flushed cheek. Tsandor’s face was so like Malinda’s but for once the comparison didn’t hurt. “I…love you,” he said, nearly tripping over the unfamiliar words.
“Love you too.” Tsandor spoke with the uncomplicated sweetness of childhood and gave him a tiny smile. “Find Sarah, Patro,” he whispered.
“I will,” Sazar vowed. “I promise.”
“And then we’ll all live together and be a family, right?” Tsandor asked.
Sazar felt his heart lurch in his chest. Though he could promise to track Sarah down and keep her from harm (or at least try to) he couldn’t promise anything like that. After what he had done, she would still hate him, even if he saved her. He was sure of that.
“I’ll find her,” he repeated. And with a last look at his son, he left the constant care house.
It was time to go hunting.