Chapter Thirteen
Leah
It isn’t until Maddie is tucked away in bed that I find out what Alistair was so preoccupied by.
I’ve just come out of the room we stay in every time we come here - it used to be ‘the spare room’ but now…let’s be honest, it’s ours - and Alistair turns from his usual glass of wine at the kitchen island counter, cocking his head at me.
“Do you want a glass of wine?” His voice rumbles in it’s usual timbre.
The one that shudders right through me, screaming sex and heat and everything I haven’t had for so long. The one that reminds me of what we did last time we shared wine here.
I haven’t said ‘yes’ since then. Because if I start that again, I know I won’t stop.
But this time I hesitate, the pit in the bottom of my stomach growing bigger.
Thinking about everything we need to talk about. Everything we should talk about. All the things I want.
Thinking about walking over there and kissing him with the kind of passion that’s burning me up inside.
Thinking about finally getting over myself and just doing it.
But tonight - he doesn’t wait for me to say no.
I hear the sloshing of the wine into the glass, and then he’s handing it to me across the counter - our fingers brushing as he keeps hold of it for just a second longer.
“Alistair…”
It’s almost a sigh. I’m so out of my depth, and I don’t know what to do. I almost wish I hadn’t stopped him, before. That I hadn’t demanded time and a chance to think about things - a chance to really see that he meant it all. Because now that I’ve stopped it, I have no idea how to throw myself back into it.
And I wish that he’d do it for me.
“Maddie asked me if I was her Daddy today.”
I freeze, all my internal debate suddenly vanishing as I look up at him.
“Oh shit.”
Oh shit.
“I’m sorry - god, I’m so sorry. I forgot—she’s been doing that, recently. Asking about it. I should’ve warned you. God, that’s totally unfair for you to deal with—ah, fuck it—what…what did you say?”
He meets my gaze with such an intent look that I swallow, my heart in my throat. It feels like he’s looking right through me - watching me so carefully that he knows more about how I’m feeling than I do myself.
“I asked if she wanted me to be.” He says, his voice far more measured than I would be in his situation.
So fucking unfair. And I did it to him, just like everything else I’ve done to him. Nothing he deserves.
The guilt tears at me, the feelings that have been building up the longer I’ve seen him with Maddie threatening to come bubbling up.
I don’t say anything. I can’t. I just look at him, unable to break that contact.
I can hear my heart beat in my ears as I wait for the answer.
Does she want him to be her father?
“She said yes.”
The wave of relief that sweeps through me takes me by surprise, and I cling onto the edge of the kitchen counter, blinking hard.
“Oh, thank god.” I say, then look back at him, offering a weak smile. “At least, well…I guess that makes things easier, right?”
But his expression doesn’t change, and it’s deep and unreadable enough that I start getting goosebumps down my arms. He’s not done.
And when he speaks, his voice is so soft - so gentle - that I fear it might undo me completely.
“She told me she was looking for her Daddy because…because sometimes she sees you upset, and she thinks it would make you happy.” His head tilts as I feel my heart start to break, and the compassion there is too much for me to bear. “She wants to find a Daddy to help you.”
I sit down on the stool, blinking hard to try and clear my eyes.
“Fuck.” I whisper. My hands come up to my head, and it’s all I can do not to break down sobbing. “She sees too much.”
And then Alistair is there, his arms wrapping around me - and I bury my head against his chest. His strong, masculine scent surrounds me - warmth and comfort and things that I really don’t fucking deserve right now.
But I can’t resist him - I can’t bring myself to pull away, even as I try to pull myself together and not picture the things my poor, beautiful little girl has had to see.
“It’s been hard for you, raising her alone.” He murmurs.
I bite my lip, then just shrug, not wanting to say anything. It’s hardly fair to tell him about that. He would’ve been there if I’d let him.
“Tell me about it, Leah. Maddie is the most remarkable, beautiful little girl - and I’ve spent the last couple of weeks admiring what you’ve done for her, and how you’ve raised her. It’s impossible to believe…and all alone. I want to hear about it, I want to take some of it from you - all the things you’ve gone through along the way, all those difficult moments. I want to be here - for you both.”
I shake my head roughly, trying to pull back from his grip. He doesn’t let me go.
“It was my decision, Alistair. Sure, it was tough, but…I can hardly complain about it. Especially not to you. Y-you haven’t known her for years, because of me—”
“Oh, damn that, Leah. You’ve always been so fucking strong willed. But that doesn’t matter, Leah. Just because you chose it doesn’t mean that it hasn’t been hard - doesn’t mean that you don’t need to talk about it. To tell someone all those struggles, the daily battles, the stress and worry.” He finally lets me pull back, and I look up to see nothing but care and admiration in his eyes. None of the accusation I keep imagining. None of the resentment and anger I’m afraid of. The things that have been holding me back ever since I realized how fucking perfect he really is. Too perfect for me. “You don’t have to deal with that alone anymore. I want to share it with you, baby. You didn’t let me for four years…let me now?”
I shudder - I can’t help it - and he sits down next to me, pulling me onto his lap. His arms enclose me and I curl up in a ball against him as I can’t control it anymore - it all comes out, sobs wracking through my body and tears flooding down my face.
All those years alone…all those years I didn’t have to be alone.
The pain and heartache and grief. The regret for the things I didn’t or couldn’t do - and even worse, for the things I did.
The times I got something wrong, made the wrong choice, and Maddie suffered because of it. All the doubts that I was doing it wrong. All the fear that things would never get any better. That I wouldn’t even get through the next day.
The times I almost gave up - again and again.
He murmurs to me, whispering my name, soothing and comforting - and I can’t believe how it feels, to let go in his arms. To have someone stronger protecting me - every part of him surrounding me and guiding me through the storm of my emotions. To have him hear all the times I messed up with his baby girl, without judging me.
A solid rock that’s been missing from my life for so long.
Simply the scent and feel of him around me would’ve been enough to soothe me, after a while - those strong arms encircling me, the hard, muscled chest I’m lying against, the soft press of his lips against my forehead. But he tells me it’s all going to be okay, too. That we’re going to deal with the rest of the challenges together - that we’re going to make the same stupid mistakes together. And that it will be okay.
Because we have a beautiful little girl who adores us both.
And all the stress…all the endless stress that I’ve carried with me for so long…somehow, the weight of it finally starts easing. Just a little.
“Leah…” He murmurs, after my sobs finally start easing, saying my name again and again, almost like it’s some kind of reassuring litany in itself.
And after a while, it feels like all my tears have run dry, and my emotional outburst subsides enough that I can look up at him again - through a tear-stained face, maybe, but with a lighter feeling in my chest. A little bit more hope, maybe.
His hand caresses my cheek, and he leans in to kiss the last couple of tears from my eyes. I shudder again, but not from sobbing this time.
“I’ll take care of you both any way you want, you know that. Whether you want me to or not. I’ll give you anything you need, no matter what you decide or how you want this to work. But what I want…fuck, Leah, I want so much more than that. I want to be Maddie’s Daddy - and I want you. I want to be a family. I want you living here with me, where I can see you every day, make you happy every day.” He shakes his head, and I hear his voice roughen with the emotion behind it. “I’ve been going out of my mind for the last week - wanting you so badly I can’t even describe it. Terrified every day you don’t make a move that this whole thing will slip away - that the best thing that ever happened to me will disappear. Again. I want you, Leah. So fucking badly.”
I moan at the need I hear in his voice, a light, fragile sound coming from deep within me. I feel it too - that same need, that same desperation.
The same fear.
That the best thing I could’ve imagined…will disappear.
I look up at him, our raw, emotional gazes meeting each other, and feel like I’m being pierced straight through my chest.
And I finally say what I’ve been holding back. The thing that’s made it impossible for me to talk to him - to ask for more. Because I don’t know how to get over…what I did.
“Alistair…I did it all alone - I raised Maddie by myself - because I didn’t want you in our lives. I made that decision. For both of us. I didn’t talk to you, didn’t give you a chance - I just decided. I saw the way you were with me, with your business, with everything…and I thought you’d be terrible for my little girl. But you’re not. You’re the most amazing Dad I’ve ever seen. And it kills me - because I was so wrong. And…and I’m so sorry. So sorry. For what I did. But I don’t…I don’t know how I can ever make it right. How we can be together, knowing that I took away four years of Maddie’s life from you. It’s why…why I haven’t said anything. Because - because I don’t want to hear how much you must hate me for that.”
Alistair takes a deep breath above me, and I close my eyes, unable to bear seeing his expression as he tells me what I’ve been running away from for the last couple of weeks.
But instead, he tilts my chin up - and he kisses me. Nothing like he did two weeks ago - no, this is soft and gentle…an exploration. And a reassurance. A light touch, a little bit of tenderness - and enough to have my heart rocketing out of my chest.
When he breaks it, I finally risk it - I open my eyes.
And, even after all that, I don’t quite believe the compassion I see in his face.
“I don’t care about all that, Leah.” He says, so softly I have to strain to hear him. “You were right - about the way I acted with you. And, if I’d had a child then…I don’t know. It did something to me, when you left. When you gave up everything I offered you - I thought it was so much - and when that happened, I couldn’t believe it. Maybe that changed things. I don’t know - yes, it kills me to think of those years Maddie grew up without me. Time I’ll never get back. But what I care about? I care about the future, Leah. I want to be in her life. I want to watch her grow up and love her like she deserves.”
“Really?” I breathe it, unable to believe how he could feel that way…after everything.
“Really.” His face takes on a smirk, and the familiar mischief in his gaze makes my heart flip over again. “I’ve only tried to say that a few dozen times.”
It coerces a slight smile out of me, and I lean back into him with a sigh. I almost feel like a child myself, curled up on top of him like this. Letting myself be taken care of, for once.
“Leah…” He catches my attention again, and I raise my head. “Move in with me. Let me date you again. You and Maddie. I want to make you both the happiest girls in the world.”
Date you again.
Unbidden, the corner of my mouth turns up at that idea. The simplicity of it.
Like when we were so much younger…but different now, of course.
A chance to learn each other again - to explore. All the things we used to love about each other, all the new parts of our lives to understand and appreciate.
It takes another weight off of me, and I breathe deeply as I realize just how difficult I’d been finding this. Being so close to him…and so distant.
I nod, very slightly.
“Okay. Yes. I’d like that.” I say, trying out the words one at a time. Tasting them on my tongue. And then I smile up at him. “We can…date.”
He smiles - the kind of smile that goes straight to a girl’s heart. And other places. A beaming smile bright enough that it’s impossible not to see how happy you’ve made someone. I feel a similar energy jolting through me - as if it’s infectious. As if pure happiness is something you can catch from each other.
Or maybe it’s just that I want him - I want this - as much as he does.
Then his gaze turns stern, and I hold my breath.
“Just so long as I get you living here while we’re doing the dating thing.” He points out. “No coy six-month timetable, or anything like that.”
I grin, my emotional outpouring of only minutes ago seeming so far away now, the fear and pain and stress of it all dispersed on everything that Alistair has said and done. Now, I feel free in a way I can’t even remember - not just from all the difficulties life has thrown at me, but from the emotional baggage that was slowly weighing me down, too. It’s suddenly easy to laugh again - to be around Alistair. To enjoy him. To enjoy this.
My grin shifts into a slow smile as I throw a deliberate glance around the apartment.
“I don’t know. I still say this place is completely unsuitable for a little girl—”
“We’ll change it, then. Any way you want. Or another place, then. I’ll buy a new one. I don’t care. I want you and Maddie and me living together. The rest of it? Whatever you want, baby.”
I smirk.
He really does know how to make a girl feel special. I shift closer to him, suddenly appreciating his firm body against mine in a completely different way as I finally take him in.
Alistair.
The Alistair Sinclair.
My baby daddy.
And maybe…mine.
“I suppose I could allow that.” I say, my eyes dancing with his. “But I have a request of my own.”
“Name it.”
“Can we have our first date right now?”
He laughs, looking back at me with a curious gaze.
“Well…I was planning something a little more elaborate - a rooftop bar, maybe, or a night at the opera…something to impress you.”
“Fuck that. You know what would really impress me?”
“Oh yes?” He murmurs, but I’m already on him.
I lean in to kiss him, drawing his head down to meet me and finally capturing those lips against my own. The thing I’ve been wanting since I broke off that kiss far too long ago.
The thing I’ve been wanting for five long years.
He responds immediately, his arms shifting around me and picking me up - until we’re both standing, and he’s pressing me back against the counter, nibbling at my lips and growling my name. My pussy spasms in response, and I let out a breathy sigh.
Ohh, yes. This is exactly what I wanted.
His hand holds my head to him, keeping my lips pressed against his while his other hand starts to explore - caressing my neck, then down my collar bone, and lower…until I’m shuddering and want him more than words can say.
“Okay.” He says, when he finally breaks to take a breath. “This can be our first date.”
I’m still laughing at him when he presses forward hard, and my back bumps hard against the counter. The heat that has always been at some kind of simmer around him starts building inside me, running through my veins until I’m breathy and moaning out his name.
I nip at his lip and then push my tongue inside, tangling with his until he returns the favor, our mouths clashing while my hands run down the smooth silk of his shirt. I can feel every muscle perfectly sculpted under it, and I want nothing more than to trace them all with my mouth. My pussy starts throbbing, the ache that’s building in it feeling like it’s been there for years. Fuck, it probably has.
His hands start moving over my breasts a moment later - the two of them in perfect tandem, instantly driving me crazy. My nipples feel solid as rocks, hard enough that I can feel every slight twitch of his fingers, even through my bra and top, and every touch sends lightning straight to my center.
The lust in his eyes matches every feeling rippling through me - and his own stiff cock, pressing against my belly and making me remember what it was like to have it inside me. Filling me. How full and whole and perfect it was between us.
Whatever else went wrong - sex was never a problem.
I cut that thought out of my mind. Problems don’t belong there anymore.
This is a new start. A new chance. For both of us.
And for my little girl.
I force that out of my mind too. She’s far too innocent to be lurking there with all my other thoughts, right now.
I jump up, and he helps as I wrap my legs around his waist - those strong arms supporting me while his hands explore my ass. I grin at him, then wriggle forward, and almost giggle when he groans against me, his rock-hard cock pressing right where I want it to.
“Leah…fuck, you’re going to drive me crazy.”
I smile, leaning forward to nibble his ear and run kisses down the side of his neck, murmuring. “Just like before, huh?”
He grinds against me, his mouth seizing mine for a passionate kiss before pulling back, eyes wild and a matching grin on his face.
“Not quite like before.” His voice rumbles, and I can feel it in his chest, that’s how close together we’re pressed now. “This time, you’re the mother of my child, too. My sexy baby momma.”
“Ugh.” I think about the stretch marks, the baby fat I still have four years later, and the aging Maddie has put me through, and groan.
“Yeah, I was kinda hoping you wouldn’t notice that. Can’t we just pretend I’m still a hot young college student?” I ask, eyes wide and sparkling up at him.
He frowns, his hands moving over my body as he shakes his head. “Why would we want to do that? You’re ten times hotter than you used to be, Leah.”
I can’t help it. I burst out laughing at that. It’s a nice thought, but, y’know…would’ve been a little more believable if he’d just stuck to you’re as sexy as you always were. Ten times…yeah, sure.
“You like baby fat and wrinkles now?” I ask, irreverent. I don’t really care about what Maddie’s done to my body - she’s been worth it millions of times over. But I’d rather not pretend. “Your tastes really have changed.”
The teasing frown narrows into a real one at that, and he pushes me back up against the island counter, until I’m caught between the weight of his body and the hard, stone weight of the dramatic centerpiece. I know which one of those I prefer - but having the strength of both is a thrill of it’s own.
“I think…you don’t quite see what I do, Leah.” Alistair’s gaze roves over me - and as it does, his hands follow. “So I’m going to have to show you.”
And without warning - he rips open my top. It’s a damn good thing his hand presses over my mouth a moment later, because that yell definitely would’ve woken Maddie.
What the hell…?!
“That was my top!” I sputter, redundantly.
He chuckles. “It needed replacing anyway.”
I try to scowl - I’m still very much in the mindset where new clothes are a scarce luxury, but I guess for a billionaire, maybe they’re a little more disposable - but I’m too distracted by the way he’s touching me.
Hot hands roaming over my bare flesh, every inch of skin responding to his touch, my nerves dancing as those strong caresses light me up from the inside.
“Beautiful, soft skin…” He starts murmuring. “Just a hint of a sweet, round belly…full, sexy curves that were just made for touching…and…”
His hands glide around to my back, and with one skilled touch, my bra slips free. I stare at him, still not quite believing I’m sitting here half naked in his kitchen, but completely caught up in his spell. In the way he’s looking at me. In the things he’s making me see - and feel.
Satisfied, he smirks as he looks down at my breasts - admittedly, the one nice part about pregnancy. Even if they are a little less pert than they used to be. His hands run over where the band of my bra was only moments before, until he’s cupping them between both palms. I can’t help it - I arch into him immediately, needing more.
“…and the most beautiful breasts I’ve ever seen.”
I moan again, at his words this time. At the idea that maybe pregnancy hasn’t ruined my body. Maybe, as he seems to think, it’s only made it better.
He tilts my chin up, then takes my mouth in a long, sensuous kiss. The kind that leaves my pussy throbbing and my ass squirming where he’s keeping me perched on this stone counter. When he finally let’s me take a breath, the pure desire in his eyes sets my body on fire all over again.
“And let’s not forget everything else it’s changed. The look in your eyes. Your maturity. Your knowledge and understanding. Your compassion - that ultimate kind of love you can only ever really have for your children. You were a kid yourself, before - we both were, I guess. But now…now I’m looking forward to knowing every inch of my sweet, sexy baby momma.”
I shudder, and feel the blush rising within me. I really feel it. The truth behind everything he says.
And, damn it, it even makes me feel a little shy. Like maybe he can see more inside me than I can myself.
Then that naughty grin returns, and he glances down. “I’ll start with these.”
His mouth lowers to my tits and that’s all it takes for my momentarily shyness to vanish entirely. Instead, I’m clutching onto his shoulders as he lavishes the kind of attention on them that I’ve only imagined for years.
“Oh, fuck…” I whisper, my legs trying desperately to draw him closer.
I’m not even sure he can get closer, but I want it anyway.
We kiss - powerfully, passionately, possessively - and my hands start clawing at his shirt, fully ready to rectify the unfairness of being half-naked while he’s there fully clothed.
All I get is a couple of buttons popping off, and he laughs at me.
He actually laughs at me.
I growl back, my hand pulling his head into me for another kiss while I mutter the demand. “I want that off.”
He laughs again, but it takes a different tone - a sexy, heated one. And, to my surprise, he obliges. He even rips it open for me, ruining what was probably a way more expensive shirt than what I was wearing.
But, I guess, billionaire.
“Happy?” He murmurs, his hands on my breasts and his mouth nippling and nuzzling at my neck.
I run my hands over the rock hard muscles that have suddenly appeared under my grip, feeling the heat on him as my own body practically sizzles with the electricity of skin-on-skin contact.
I moan, unable to respond any other way, as his fingers tease and play and pull at my sensitive tits, and the wetness between my legs threatens to leave an entirely unwholesome mark on his kitchen counter. As if he senses it, one hand starts slowly riding up my thigh, and I practically whimper from need. Those strong fingers, so close…
I reach down, my fingers playing at the edge of his suit pants as I follow that perfect ‘V’, not even hidden by the soft smattering of hair. For a business guy, Alistair seems to keep himself in insane shape.
You’ll have to ask about that. See if you can get any workout tips now that you have the time to—
My ridiculous, mile-a-minute mind stops thinking entirely as that hand starts caressing my inner thigh - so, so close. At the same time, his mouth lowers to suck in one of my tits, his tongue lashing me until I feel like I might just cum from the friction of him being so close, being right there.
Fuck it.
“I want you in me.” It comes out as a coarse need, my voice rough and my mind spacing out. “Ugh…damn it, Alistair. I can’t…I need you.”
I reach down between us, palming the beautifully thick cock through his pants, just in case he isn’t sure what I’m talking about. I remember this cock so well. I’ve thought about it so much. My favorite fantasy…hell, all my favorite fantasies were with Alistair - he blew all the other sex I ever had completely out of the water.
“Leah…” Alistair murmurs, sounding amused. “My, my…I didn’t know you were the kind of girl to put out on the first date.”
I can’t help it - it rips a laugh out of me, and I tilt my head back to see his eyes sparkling back at me.
Bastard.
“Yeah, well…this first date has been five years in the making.” I remind him.
He grins at me. “You can fucking tell me that again.”
Not that he gives me the chance to - his mouth meeting mine in one demanding motion, and then he’s pulling me back from the counter, my legs wrapping around his waist again and my arms around his neck. I fucking love this position. I love that it puts me eye-to-eye with him. I love that I feel held and secure and wanted, deep in his eyes. And I love that his cock is pressed right against my pussy.
I wriggle against it and get another growl, which only makes me grin further, my mouth on his as he starts carrying me towards the bedroom.
Somehow, along the way he gets the zipper on my skirt loose - and then he’s tugging it off me. So by the time we’re at his bedroom door, it’s just me. My exposed breasts pressed against his hard pecs. My bare legs wrapped around his suit pants.
Just me. And, I guess, my panties.
He eyes those with a hungry look, and I wonder whether he can feel the damp patch where it presses against the thin material of his suit. I certainly feel like I’m wet enough for him to be able to. And I know exactly what’s on his mind as he throws me onto the bed.
And I mean throw - I land with a thump, and I’m momentarily breathless. I can’t quite tell whether that’s from the impact, or suddenly seeing him towering above me. His bare chest in all its glory. And his hands slowly opening his belt.
There’s something stupidly sexy about the way a man takes off his belt. The slow, sensual seduction there. The promise of what lies underneath.
If he does it right, anyway.
And Alistair…fuck me, he does it right.
I moisten my lips as I watch, and when his pants drop to the floor and I see his cock thrust out…I actually swallow.
Fuck.
I’m not sure I remembered it right, after all. That’s…a little bigger than I was expecting.
He sees my eyes widen and gives me a slow, decadent grin.
“This is what you wanted inside you?” He growls, climbing onto the bed on top of me.
I moan, but my pussy spasms its own answer. And I can’t help myself.
I nod.
I’m so not used to this anymore, and I’m going to feel stretched for days…but, damn, I’ve needed that in my life for years. I’ve missed that used feeling.
He settles himself between my legs, and then slides my panties off with such gentle care that you wouldn’t believe he’d practically torn all my other clothes off. It makes me even wetter, and as his mouth hovers above me, I whimper.
“God, I’ve waited to taste you again for so long. You look fucking stunning lying there like that, Leah. Stretched out. Splayed across my bed sensuously, and not even aware of it. Heat and need in your eyes. I’ve been picturing this for…fuck, I’ve been thinking of it for years.”
He doesn’t give me a chance to respond - his mouth is on me a moment later. Or, when I say on, I mean, right fucking above. But not quite there.
Just blowing, teasing, playing. He starts nibbling at my inner thigh, his lips and tongue and teeth tempting me with the promise of what they should be, but not quite getting there. I groan, complaining, and try bucking up against him - but his head moves with me effortlessly. So I bring my hands down instead, ready to pull his head into me. Into where it should be.
But he preempts me - his hands clasping mine and pushing them back into the bed. I mumble a curse, squirming against the soft sheets - and then he finally obliges.
And I don’t have a chance to think about anything else. I’m suddenly glad for his hands clutched in mine, and I squeeze them tight as pleasure explodes behind my eyes. His tongue strokes up from my entrance, tangling with my clit and flicking back and forth, while he suckles and nibbles and sets every nerve on fire. Electricity and heat shoot straight to my core, building immediately. Desperate and wanting.
I moan, and he tries to quiet me with a murmur - I realize belatedly what he’s thinking of. Maddie. And I groan again, flinging my head back into the bed as I think about all the noise we’ve probably already made.
Thank god she’s a heavy sleeper.
Then he slips a finger inside me, and all thoughts of my daughter disappear. I love my girl. Honestly, I do. But…not even a saint could hold a thought in their head when he’s doing this to me.
“Fuck, Leah…you’re so fucking tight.” He looks up at me, a question in his gaze, and I shut my eyes against it.
Before admitting it. “I haven’t…since Maddie. Since you. Too…too busy.”
That’s the understatement of the year. Guys and sex and fucking…not exactly registered on my priority list for the last five years. Sure, there were nights I got horny - but not enough that it was worth the effort of trying to find someone. Besides, that’s how more accidents tend to happen. And as much as I love Maddie…I couldn’t have coped with another.
It still makes me flush, though, as if it’s something to be ashamed of. If you asked Mathilda or Emma, it probably would be.
“Oh…god, Leah.” Alistair mutters, his voice rough with lust. He looks up at me, and the intensity there makes my toes curl against the bed sheets. “I was going to take this slow. Make you scream for hours. But, fuck, you haven’t…fuck. I’m not waiting any longer.”
His tongue swirls around my entrance again, lapping against his own finger until it reaches up to circle my clit - he sucks it into his mouth and makes my whole body melt against the bed…and then he’s right up next to me.
And I can feel his thick, hard cock pressing against my entrance. I whimper again - with need. With the deep pulsing ache that’s been driving me crazy for far too long. With the passion I’ve felt every time I’ve looked at him.
“I have to take you.” He murmurs it into my ear, his hands still clasped in mine, still pressing them down into the bed underneath him - and his gaze heavy with need. “I’m going to take you back, Leah.”
I shudder at that, open my legs wider, and arch up into him. Wanting every part of this. Wanting his mouth on my breasts, his cock pressing against my pussy, and his fingers interlocked with mine - exactly like this.
He rubs his cock against my wet, desperate entrance, teasing me mercilessly as he makes it slick and ready. I’m gasping with every breath now, so ready for him, and as I feel him position himself, hovering just above me - our eyes meet. Lock. And I’m suddenly struck by what we’re doing. What we’re about to do.
He pauses for one moment, as something occurs to him. “Do I need…”
It takes a while for the meaning to work its way through my desire-fogged mind, but when it does, my eyes widen and I shake my head.
No. It’s safe.
And the idea of him filling me like that…it’s what’s setting my blood on fire.
Taking me back.
The question is enough to bring reality back for one, brief moment though. I might have been fantasizing about this for…longer than I care to admit. But it’s one thing to think it, and another entirely to do it. On our first ‘date’. When we’re supposed to be taking it slowly.
Something in between anticipation and anxiety runs through me, and I squeeze his hands, forcing the words out through the haze of lust and need and every biological impulse telling my brain to just shut up.
“We’re…not rushing into this too fast, right? Still just…just a date?” I ask, inanely, as he looks down at me with the promise of everything he’s about to do. The smoldering heat in his eyes flickers, just a little, and I can see the amusement there as he smirks.
“Sure thing, baby. This is just the best fucking date.” He chuckles slowly, and I finally give in.
To everything I know is about to hit me.
And it’s just as fucking powerful as I thought.
His hands push mine up above my head as he thrusts in with one powerful stroke - holding nothing back, entering me entirely. I didn’t even think that was going to be possible, but…fuck.
I feel everything at once. Full and aching and so totally complete. The need in my pussy filled so thoroughly that I gasp, throwing my head back as my hips arch up to meet him. It’s painful, just a little - but the perfect type of pain. And I whimper as my body adjusts, as my pussy shifts around him, learning his weight. Remembering it. Wanting it.
His growl rumbles in my ear, and I can feel what I’m doing to him - feel the silken steel of his cock inside me, throbbing and pulsing with his own need.
“You are…so…perfectly…tight.” He mutters, his mouth at my ear as he slowly starts to draw out of me.
I moan in complaint, not ready for the emptiness - but then he’s thrusting in again hard, and every nerve I have lights up as that beautiful cock glides past it. The friction sends tremors through me, heat building deep inside, as his mouth finds mine. His hands let go of mine, and suddenly we’re all over each other again - my nails scraping down his back, his hands pulling at my breasts, so that it feels like he’s taking and using every ounce of pleasure I have. Every sensitive part of me. Driving it all further - up and up until I can barely breathe.
And once he starts, he doesn’t slow down. His thrusts come hard and fast, spearing me to the bed, and my weak legs wrap around his hips as I arch up into him - needing it, desperate for more. For how everything he’s giving me feels. With every thrust, he slams against my clit and my body tingles. The sensation, the pleasure rising too fast for me to be able to think anymore.
I gasp. And I can feel him gasping with me. Our breaths mingling and mixing with how close we are together, with the lust and need that’s driving us and how fucking amazing it feels to finally have him inside me.
His lips take mine, and I fight for breath as we kiss desperately. The way only five years of separation can do.
And then, as I feel his cock twitching within me, both of us driving towards that one, shared place of bliss - he pulls back, just a little. To look at me. To touch my hair, to caress my face. It’s completely at odds with what his hips are doing to me, but I can’t stop staring at the look on his face. The passion and need there. The desire. The depth of it. And the emotional intensity behind it all.
“I love you, Leah.” He says, voice rough with passion…and everything else, too. “Fuck it, I never stopped loving you - even after all this time.”
I stare at him, my breath leaving me completely, and I can feel my eyes widening. Even in the midst of all this.
I struggle for breath, my arms still around him, still clutching his shoulders. His pace eases off for just a few moments, while our eyes lock together.
“What…what happened to taking it slow?”
“I’ve been waiting two fucking weeks…we did slow already, babe.”
I can’t help it. He startles a laugh out of me, even in my confused state. “I thought we were going to date.”
He can’t be saying that…already. Can he?
But I can feel the truth of it, slowly sinking into me. The truth that’s been obvious from everything he’s done over the last two weeks. What does it matter, how fast he says it…if it’s true. This feeling between us. That not even five years could change.
He chuckles, and it’s like pure fire straight through me.
“Oh, we’ll do that too. Believe me, girl, I’ll be pulling out all the stops - full-scale seduction. Until there’s nothing you can do but melt in my arms - again, and again, and again.” He starts thrusting again, going deeper with every word, and I gasp under him. “But I want you to know right up front - I love you. I’ve loved you for fucking years, and I’m never going to let you go. I’m never going to let you want anything else.”
The words ripple through me, the feeling of safety and security and being wanted. Being cherished and desired. All of it overwhelming me - even more than the physical need that’s building to an impossible crescendo.
They combine, somehow, and as our bodies join together - his hard cock burying itself deep inside me again and again - it seems like an extension of what my heart and soul are feeling. How deeply connected we are. The emotions behind it overwhelm the physical, until every thrust feels like a declaration of his love, of his need, of everything he’s promised me.
I reach up to grasp his face between my hands, bringing him down to kiss me again, feeling like I could get lost in these kisses forever.
And as I let him take a breath, it escapes. A whisper. A sigh.
“I love you too.”
An admission of everything I’ve been too scared to feel. Of how badly I’ve fallen for him over the last couple of weeks.
I don’t get the chance to say or think anything else - as if it’s a trigger, that propels him forward, and he pulls my whole body into him as his hips work fast, thrusting and pounding into me.
His mouth meets mine again, and our tongues twist together as my pussy contracts, and aches, and shudders with the power of the heat building within me. We’re groaning, grunting, clutching at each other, until I don’t think I can hold on anymore.
Everything I’ve wanted for so long. Everything he’s said. And done.
I shudder, and he muffles my cry with his own mouth as it all overtakes me. Flashes of light and intensity and pure, electric release ripple through me. My body explodes, then contracts, then explodes again as I shake with the force of the climax. He groans, deep in his chest, and as my pussy clenches down on him - buries himself deep inside me.
I feel him pulse and throb inside me, and then warm wetness fills me - soaking my already wet center with heat that sends aftershocks running through me. We moan and gasp together, clutching at each other as we come down from the insane high of finally being together. Joined. In every way possible.
He slides out of me a moment later, shifting onto his side behind me, and then brings my body into his chest. His mouth nuzzles and kisses at the side of my face, my neck, while his arms surround me. I’ve never felt particularly small before - but in his arms, that’s exactly how it is.
Small, and safe, and protected.
I sigh deeply, leaning back into the cuddle and smiling as he curls his whole body around me. I’m tucked up tight, but my spirit feels free and light and so deeply satisfied, I could die happy right now.
“I love you, Leah.”
He murmurs it in my ear, again and again, and I feel complete. In a way I haven’t been for so long.
I’m not sure when he stops saying it. Stops telling me how much I mean to him.
I drift off to the sound of those words in my ear.