Chapter Nine

The next day came, and as I woke, I immediately wished for an alternative to my debacle. I knew he had his reasons for prom, but there were none for the years and countless attacks that happened previously. What was I thinking kissing him yesterday was a question I had no answer to. Getting that close was just stupid. All of it was ridiculous considering I was getting out of Montana as soon as I got the call.

I sat up and grabbed for my crutches, not willing to put any more thought into Jase Jergensmeyer. Walking through the house, I noticed the use of the crutches that I had finally began to get used to would be null and void hopefully after my visit with the doctor.

Making use of the extra time I had on my hands, I went into the bathroom and cleaned myself as best as I could without standing in a hot shower, which was something I truly missed. You never realize what you take for granted until it's gone. 

Down on my knees, I flipped my head over the bathtub faucet and scrubbed my hair until it felt clean. Being crippled didn't mean there was any excuse to not have hygiene. By the time I had wrangled in my curls and applied a little makeup, I felt almost presentable. 

Three hours later, Jase's voice was coming from the front door. "Is it okay to come in?"

I had left only the screen door open for the house to air out.

"Yeah, come on in," I yelled from the kitchen where I had just finished making a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich. 

I heard him say, "Something smells good in here," as he made his way into the room. The breeze coming from behind him sent the smell of his cologne right for me to enjoy. As I took a deep breath in, I closed my eyes, drowning in pleasure. Something about a good-smelling man could bring me to my knees, even if it was Jase that was responsible. 

"Yes, something smells very good."

"What?"

My eyes sprung open as I realized once again I had made my thoughts known unintentionally. 

"Oh, um, I just meant the sandwich, it does smell good."

"Sure you did."

He placed his right hand on the countertop next to him and let his eyes travel from the floor all the way up my body until they reached my eyes. Never had I felt so on display. When he opened his mouth to speak, I didn't expect what I heard. 

"You about ready? We have to be there in an hour."

Looking down at my sandwich, I tried to right my mind from the dark place his eyes had taken me. "Can I eat in your car?" was all that I could think to say.

When he began to walk toward me with a purpose, my body locked up. Predicting Jase was never something I mastered. 

"First of all, no man drives a car in these parts. That's a truck out there, Red, and you know I don't want to hear any smart ass joke about it. Now—" he was so close that one simple movement of his arm brought his left hand to my face "—are you ready to get going, or do you want to stand here all day teasing me?"

"Teasing you? I—"

When he looked down at my chest, I knew he didn't mean what I originally thought he did.

"Just grab the sandwich."

"But …"

"Pick up the sandwich, Red."

I did as he said, and a second later, he was carrying me out the front door of the house. 

"This is ridiculous, you know. Crutches are meant to be used for this very reason."

"Let's just say I didn't need to watch you bounce out of that dress."

"Put me down."

He didn't budge until I was placed in the front seat of his truck. 

"Go get my crutches, Jase. I'm not about to let you carry me into the damn doctor's office like I can't function on my own."

"You're lucky I'm in the mood to be nice to you today."

He closed the door and walked back into the house, coming back out with my crutches in hand. A small smile crept up my face knowing I had won the battle, but the war was far from over.

I waited until we were on the highway before I grabbed my sandwich from the seat and began to eat it, thankful for something to do to kill the awkward silence. Halfway through, I asked, "Do you want some?" and lifted it toward his mouth. I didn't really expect him to take a bite, but half of what was left was gone instantly as soon as it touched his lips. 

"You might as well finish it now."

"You aren't hungry anymore?"

Even though I was, something about him made me give in. He was, after all, helping me.

"Not really. Go ahead, it's all yours."

He leaned forward and took the remaining bite from my fingers. The sounds coming from his throat as he chewed made me laugh. 

"I would have made you your own if I knew you would enjoy it that much."

"Nothing that's yours ever tastes as good as someone else's. Haven't you ever noticed that?"

"We are talking about food, right?"

It took him a second before, he said, "Hell yeah, I'm talking about food. I'm not into sloppy seconds."

"Well, that's good to know."

"The only girl I ever wanted enough, that was worth sitting back and waiting for, Red, was you. You just never saw me the same way."

I wish I had something to argue back with but he made a point that left me silent. He was right. I always saw him as this mean jerk. Never did I look past that to see the beautiful man beneath it all. The gorgeous smile that lit up my niece’s world, his eyes that somehow penetrated me. The loving nature he showed my family. The dedication he gave to my brother-in-law every day when he came to work. The last one drew up a question I needed an answer to.

"What made you want to work for Canyon?"

"Well, that's a good way to change the subject."

I adjusted myself in the seat so I could face him.

"I wish now that I did, that I wasn't so blind. You made it so hard to see anything other than—"

"I know, and I don't blame you for it. I was a stupid kid with a crush, and I hated that you ignored me. It was wrong, but the way you would look at Mitch Holstein or Bryson Conway—your eyes lit up every time one of them would walk into a room. I just wanted that look. I craved it."

"And yet all I ever did was hate you. I—"

"I hated you too, it wasn't easy, but I did."

"Can we move past this? I don't want to hold onto all this forever. It's time we let it go."

"Kissing you did nothing but make me want more, so no, I don't see moving past any of this. If anything, you added fuel to the fire."

I turned back in my seat to face the side window and watched the trees fly by. What had I done? I didn't want to cause this man any more hurt.

"I'm leaving."

Nothing was said initially, but when he asked, "When?" I was forced to turn back and look at him.

"As soon as I get the call."

"Where are you going?"

"San Diego."

He didn't say anything right away, so I can honestly say I never expected what eventually came out.

"Cool place to live, actually. I was stationed there for a while."

"Yeah, I have been dreaming of it for over a year now. Izzy, my best friend, is already there."

"Well, that's exciting. Good for you. You deserve to be happy, Red."

The conversation ended there. He wasn't willing to add more and I was torn. I knew where he was coming from about that kiss. I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it. Hell, I wanted more. But knowing I was leaving meant there was no reason to allow anything to happen. 

"You never answered my question from earlier. Why Canyon?"

"Would you think I was a freak if I said you?"

"Me? What do you mean, me?"

"Answer the question. If I said I worked there hoping to see you, would you think I was a freak?"

"Yes. Without a doubt, yes."

"Then it's safe to tell you I needed the money and he needed the help. Get over yourself, woman, you're not that hot."

He laughed as I slapped him hard, and then I followed him laughing until we both were gasping for breath.

"I got you!"

"You so did. I was a little worried there for a minute."

"You should have been. Any guy stalking you to the point he's waiting for you is a sicko and needs help."

"Thanks for the laugh. I needed that."

"My pleasure."

Not too long after that, we pulled into the doctor's office parking lot. Jase was kind enough to help me out of the truck after he collected my crutches from the back and let me walk in on my own. He even carried my purse which blew me away. I was so impressed by his generosity that when he opened the door for me, I began to thank him but was cut off by him saying, "Damn, if I knew you'd bounce like that I would have never carried you to begin with."

I nudged him playfully as I laughed and was grateful I didn't thank him after all. Pig.