Chapter 17
Ryan
Monday came around too soon. It sucked. I didn't want to leave. I wished I were able to ask her to come with me, to introduce her to my daughter. To have a normal relationship. Instead, I was about to put more space between us.
"It might be a little longer before I can come back to Denver this time," I apologized.
I saw the uncertainty in her eyes and her face reflected all the things she wanted to ask. “How long?”
“Not sure. Probably two weeks. There are some things I need to take care of.”
I took the coward's way out and waited until Em had to leave for work before telling her. I’d promised Melissa she could stay with me for a week again. After my conversation with Bob on the boat, I made the decision to meet with my attorney. Was I starting to care too much? Probably. The longer this went on, the harder it would be, and the further away from the truth things would get. I'd talk to my attorney and then go from there.
Hugging Em goodbye at the door, I kissed her. After she had left for work, I packed up my things and said bye to Sierra. “I hope I see you again, girl.” She stood on her hind legs and planted a big kiss on me. What a great dog.
I placed a package on the table for Emma and locked the door behind me.
On the flight home, my mind drifted over the last few days and how much I enjoyed being with Em. I cared about her, but how much? I hadn't allowed myself to fall for any woman in fourteen years. Until now, I didn't think myself capable.
I needed time to come to grip with what we had. Was it just sex or something real? If it was real, what do I do? Unless my attorney had some great news for me, the best thing for Emma would be for me to cut her loose.
I picked up Melissa Tuesday morning. Instead of a week, we were only going to get a few days together. Lindsey had made plans to go shopping with her and wanted her back Thursday morning. I had an afternoon appointment with my attorney set for Thursday. I enjoyed my time with Melissa as always and having my daughter with me at least helped take away some of the sting of not being with Em.
We sat at my kitchen island, chatting leisurely over breakfast before I had to take her back to her mom's.
“Dad, the end of summer vacation is still a month away. Can we go to Colorado?”
I hated the thought of being that close to Emma and not being able to be with her. I already missed her.
“I'm not sure, sweetheart. Let me look over my schedule. I'll try to figure something out.”
“If you're concerned about Mom, I don't think she would mind. She might even be happy. If I'm away, she can go out with her friends more.”
“There are some things I need to work around, but if I can, we will.”
Melissa's eyes lit up.
“Has your mom been going out while you're at home by yourself?”
She didn't look me in the eyes, but she shook her head. I knew from experience that pushing my daughter on this subject would not yield a different answer. She was protecting her mother, and I guess I had to respect that.
“Alright then. Go grab your stuff. Your mom hates it when I'm late.”
Melissa and I were both a little depressed on the ride to drop her off. I hated not being able to be with my daughter every day. Going back and forth between her mother and me couldn't have been easy for her either. Not wanting to deal with Lindsey, I didn't go in when I dropped Melissa off.
Back at my apartment, I was alone with my thoughts, which, of course, drifted to Emma. I hadn't called her since I left. I was a little surprised she hadn't called me, but I assumed she was trying to give me some space. I knew I shouldn't have waited this long. In truth, I had thought about calling her every day.
Any hope I had that these feelings would go away after I spent some time with her didn't pan out. My feelings for her were becoming evident; what wasn't clear was what to do about them.
I fought the urge to call her, even went to dial her number but put the phone down. Maybe I should work off some anxiety first.
My building had an extensive exercise facility, but I wanted some fresh air, so I walked to the gym a few blocks away. I had just finished my routine when I saw a familiar face, Jenna, Stacy's mom, heading my way. Jenna was hard not to notice, though Em had her beat hands down. I was still a guy, and Jenna could definitely turn a few heads.
“Hi. Remember me?”
“Sure. You're Melissa's friend's mom.” I went to shake her hand then pulled back. “Sorry,” I said, wiping my hands on my shorts. “I'm a little sweaty.”
"No problem." She smiled. "Are you a member here? I'm sure I would have noticed you." Her eyes flirtatiously drifted over my body.
"I am, but I usually work out at the gym in my apartment building."
"Well, I'm glad I ran into you. I'm on the school committee for the summer camp program. I thought maybe Melissa and Stacy could go together. Would you like to grab a cup of coffee to discuss the camp when you're done?" she asked.
"I am a little pressed for time. Perhaps I can call you and …"
Before finishing my statement, Jenna grabbed my phone, which was lying on the bench, and typed in her name and number. "In case you lost my number, now you can't lose it. Call me anytime," she said as she turned and walked away.
I watched her as she exited the building. She was in terrific shape. Not as curvy or luscious as Emma, but Stacy's mom was hot.
I went home and started to dial Emma. Realizing I still had no clue what I was going to say, I decided to wait. It was almost time to meet with the attorney. I showered and left for his office.
"Hey, Ryan, great to see you again," Jack, my attorney, held out his hand.
"Good to see you too, Jack. Hopefully you have some good news for me?"
The smile disappeared off of Jack’s face. "I’m afraid not." He shook his head. "The firm did an extensive background check on Lindsey, and at least on paper, she looks like a saint. No DUIs, criminal records, neighbor complaints. Nothing that would put her on the radar."
"So what does this mean?" I asked.
"Unless you are willing to bring Melissa into this, and she can testify in front of the Judge that her mom is negligent, there isn’t much I can do."
"I can’t do that to Melissa. I’m not even sure she would be willing. What about joint custody? If I divorce Lindsey, can I at least get joint custody?" I asked.
"Well, that depends. Yes, if Lindsey doesn’t fight it. If she does, we could be in trouble."
"Oh, she will fight it," I said. "Lindsey doesn’t want a divorce. Why I don’t fucking know. Sorry, Jack, I am just so frustrated."
"I understand. Unfortunately for us, in cases of child custody, the courts are usually more sympathetic with the mother, unless gross negligence can be proven. Without Melissa testifying, I don’t think we can prove negligence. You can afford the best attorneys, but so can she. Honestly, despite it being years ago, your record combined with your alleged reputation, including everything that can be found online, puts Lindsey in a better position. Are you sure you can’t persuade Lindsey to agree to joint custody?" Jack asked.
"Pretty sure," I said, defeated.
"The only other thing we can try is to put surveillance on her. Maybe something will turn up," Jack offered.
"You mean like a private detective?"
"That’s about all we have left. But from the looks of things, it may be a dead end."
I stood up. "Thanks, Jack. I appreciate you trying. I’ll give the detective idea some thought."
"Sorry, Ryan, I know this is tough to hear. Worst case scenario, Melissa turns eighteen in four years."
* * *
Fuck, now what? There wasn’t any chance that Lindsey would be reasonable. Should I tell Emma the truth? I didn’t want to lose her. The thought of never being able to be with her again sucked, but the possibility of hurting her more than I may have already made my chest tighten. I wasn’t ready to call her.
I called my sister in Colorado Springs instead.
Myla and I were close except that first year with Lindsey, my senior year. Myla disliked Lindsey and had warned me about her. But when you were seventeen and horny, and the hottest chick in the school wanted you, you didn't pay much attention to what your kid sister thought.
"Hey, Sis."
"Who is this?" She laughed. "Who is this person pretending to be my brother and calling me sis? My brother disappeared several weeks ago on his way to visit me and hasn't called me since!"
"Yeah, sorry about that. I got a little distracted."
"I would ask her name, but I'm talking to Mr. Never Date a Woman More Than Twice, so it can't be a woman that distracted you," she said, the sarcasm playfully oozing from her voice.
"Emma. Her name's Emma."
For once my sister was quiet. Dead silence on the other end of the phone for at least thirty seconds.
"For reals? Talk to me. Tell me everything about her. What about Lindsey?" she asked, without stopping to take a breath.
"That's why I'm calling, I need some advice."
I told her about Emma, the lies I told, everything.
"Wow, you are an idiot," she said.
"Thanks, I can always count on you." I chuckled.
"Dickhead! By not calling her, you're making things worse! You need to tell her the truth. Either she will accept your situation or she won't, but lying isn't going to improve your chances. Ryan, it was twelve years ago!"
"There is the whole thing with Lindsey and Melissa," I said. "I met with Jack today. Custody isn’t likely to happen. Not even shared custody unless Lindsey agreed to it. Looks like I remain a married man."
"That woman is such a bitch! How long is she going to ruin your life?"
"Well, our vows said till death do us part," I tried to joke. "But more likely for the next four years until Melissa turns eighteen."
"I don't know how you deal with her. I will be so happy for you when you don't have to anymore."
"You and me both."
"You still need to come clean with Emma. Tell her the truth."
"And you think she is going to agree to sneak around?" I said, sarcastically.
"Just tell her. If it's meant to be, something will work out. But she needs the whole truth."
"Something will work out? Like what, a bus falling on top of Lindsey."
Myla laughed. "You don't know how many times I wished for that when we lived together. Trust me, Bro, tell Em."
Myla and I hung up, and I dialed Emma.