I was a complete and total mess. I’d had plans about what I was going to do about Killian. I’d fly to New York and meet him and talk to him. Sure, that had been almost two months ago, but that was my plan. I should have known what happened when you made plans for anything in life and what happened when you put them off…

And him standing in front of me was something I thought I could prepare myself for, but no. I could not. The initial shock from before had worn off and I was out of my depth. I could barely form thoughts when he was around. I couldn’t even walk properly, even after years of practice in my heels. But I stormed through the exhibit, trying to figure out what to do next.

“When were you going to tell me, Rachel?” His question froze me in my tracks.

“Tell you what?” My voice came out a squeaky mess and I hated that. I kept my back to him, but I knew he was there. He was always there. The heat from his body leached into my skin.

“Tell me who you really were?” So close now, his words made my hair around my face brush against my skin, tickling me.

“I didn’t plan on ever saying anything because I didn’t plan on being her anymore.”

“Why not?” he asked, his fingers trailing across my bare shoulder. A slight tremble raced through me as I reached out and steadied myself on one of the glass cases holding ancient artifacts.

“She’s gone now. I learned the hard way what happens when I leave my lane.”

“Why are you so wrapped up in trying to leave everything behind? It’s so easy for you to pick up and leave without any warning.” The accusation in his voice stung. I had been running away after I graduated high school, just like I ran away after what happened with him.

“I ran because I didn’t know what you were capable of, Killian. You were determined to destroy one of the best men I’ve ever met in my life.”

“I told you there was a lot more going on there, than you knew.”

“You told me enough. You decided to be his judge and jury and there was no deterring you. I know I tried. I tried so many times to get you to stop what you were doing.” My anger that he couldn’t just drop it. He shredded any last hope I had that what we had might have been worth it when he showed up to my office that day. My stomach dropped just thinking about it.

“That’s done and it’s over. I’m talking about us. I didn’t do anything to him that did any permanent damage. I fixed my mistakes. I did everything I could to stop what I’d set in motion.”

I ignored the statements about Rhys. I saw the headlines. He was lying to my face.

“There is no us, Killian. There wasn’t an us from the minute you showed up at my office and fought with him. From the moment you fucked me on the floor of your apartment. Making your final claim. It was a game to you and I was a stupid pawn.” Tears prickled in my eyes. Don’t you dare cry. I’d thought that the old pain was gone. That I’d managed to push it down and start over, but I hadn’t. I hadn’t at all and he was here in front of me looking as gorgeous as ever and it made me so mad I wanted to scream. He got everything he wanted.

“You think you weren’t using me too? You think you were innocent in all this? You came after me for a specific reason. You came after me to find out what I was up to. You were using me just as much as I was using you. I was a job to you. Tell me I’m wrong.”

I bit back my reply. He was right. It certainly started out like that. My way to prove myself. To prove that I could be indispensable. To be the person to save Rhys Thayer and the thousands of lives he touched.

“Exactly. It wasn’t just me. You ripped my fucking heart out.”

“What heart, Killian?” I asked, scoffing and his gaze changed. He wasn’t the contrite man I’d seen before. The fire was back in his eyes. He was a predator again. Before I knew what was happening, he slammed his lips against mine, pressing me up against the wall behind me. His hungry, searching lips crushed against mine as he bit and nipped them.

I gasped and he took the opening of my lips as an invitation. My hands were angry on his back, gripping his suit jacket, tugging on it, fisting it. But I didn’t push him away. I couldn’t. He tasted just as good as I remembered. So good. So easy to sink into him and forget. And be his again.

That thought hit me hard and jolted me out of his gravitational pull. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away as hard as I could. He stumbled back, panting just like I was. I clutched my hand against my chest, trying to slow my pounding heart.

He took a step forward and I held out my hand.

“No. No, we are not doing this.” Tour be damned. He could see the rest of the displays on his own. I needed to get out of there. I raced out of the exhibit and out the back exit, signaling for Charles. He had the car pulled up to the side of the museum in an instant. I stepped inside and as I closed the door. Looking back, I saw Killian standing in the doorway I'd just bolted out of. He caught my eye and I hesitated for a second before slamming the car door behind me.

* * *

I closed the door to my bedroom behind me, my heart still thumping at a mile a minute. Killian was here. He was in the city. And now he knew who I was. As much as I’d pretended like I’d go back to the city to face him eventually, deep down I knew I’d be more than happy to hide out forever. To pretend like my little jaunt in Manhattan never happened and it was all just a dream. I glanced around my room. Other than packing up some of my books, it was the same as when I got back.

I was so ready to slip back into being the old me. Into my old life. Dahlia was the only connection I had to New York. She was the only person I didn’t want to leave behind, well not the only person, but the only one I would allow myself to think about.

Was Killian lying? Rhys was out of all the foundations he chaired. I’d seen headline after headline roll in. Killian said he’d given up his vendetta? It hadn’t seemed possible only a few months ago. Why was he here now? How had he known where to find me?

There was only one person outside of my family and the rest of Chicago who knew I was going to be there. He hadn’t been able to find me since I left so why now. A sting of betrayal stabbed my hard in the chest.

I changed into my pajamas and flopped down on my bed. My wet hair sticking to my face. I hesitated before unlocking my phone and pulling up the number. Why did she do it?

“Hey, Rach,” she said, the buzzing of the tattoo gun droning on in the background.

“Did you send Killian here?” I put her on speaker and set my phone down on the bed, hopped up and began pacing.

“You saw him, then?”

“Of course, I saw him. That invitation was for you. You were supposed to come here, not him.”

"Rachel, I'm sorry. I told you fifty times that I couldn’t come. I know you don't want to hear this, but you should talk to him."

"That wasn't your decision to make, Dahlia. It wasn't up to you. It was up to me and I wasn't ready."

"And you were never going to be ready, Rachel. You are never going to come back here. We knew you were taking your sweet ass time and that there was a good chance that day would never come.

"We?"

“‘We’ is me and Dahlia," my mom said, pushing my door open.

"What?" I shrieked, glancing between my phone and my mom. "You two plotted about this behind my back?"

"Rachel, I've never known you to be afraid of anything. To back away or back down from anything. And I'm not going to let you use this," she said, gesturing around my room, "as a hideout for living a real life."

"I am living a life, Mom. I'm doing what you've always wanted me to do. I am helping you plan all the best parties, all the best galas, attending brunches, everything you've always begged me to do."

"Yes, and you are doing it because you're afraid. You're not doing it because it's what you want to do. I wanted you by my side because I love you. And I miss you every day that you're gone. But I'm not going to let you give up on the life you want because you're afraid."

“Mom, you have no idea who he is. You have no idea the things he's done. I don't understand.”

"You need to talk to him," Dahlia said from the phone in my hand. "You need to at least hear what he has to say. Just hear him out and then you can make your decision."

"I can't believe you two did this behind my back.”

"It's for your own good, Rach," Mom said, squeezing my hand.

"You just want me to come back, so my mom will start sending those care packages again, don't you Dahlia?"

She laughed, a watery laugh. "I'm not going to say it’s not something I’ve thought about, but I'd much rather have you back here than anything else. Just talk to him, alright? Please? For me."

I hadn't thought about how my disappearing might have affected her. I’d missed her so much and kept promising to visit her. She was booked solid through next year, so she couldn’t come out to visit me, either. No matter what happened I would make sure I spent time with her.

"Okay, fine. He has one more exhibit tour anyway. I'll talk to him. Hear what he has to say, but no promises about anything."

"Yes," Dahlia’s shout out over the phone made me smile.

“Weren’t you the one ready to cut his balls off when I left?”

“I mean, I’ll still cut them off if he fucks this up, but I think you at least deserve some closure and I think he probably needs some too.” That sounded ominous.

“Okay, you two are getting your way. And Mom, don’t you dare complain about me being too far away, if I end up going back to New York.”

“Of course, I will, dear. That’s what moms do. But I’ll also convince your father to swing by every couple of months, so we can drop in on you. Will you let us this time?”

“I will,” I said.

“Night, Dahl.”

“Night, Rach. Good luck.” She ended the call.

“Night, Rachel,” my mom said, kissing me on my forehead. She smoothed my hair and kissed me again on the cheek, before breezing out of the room, her jewelry glittering in the hallway light. I sat for a long time, more confused than ever. Nervousness working away at a ball in my stomach.

I pulled my contacts on my phone, found his name and tapped on it, and unblocked the number.

Me: I'll meet you at the exhibit at 9 am tomorrow.

His reply was immediate.

Killian: I'll be there.

The bubble popped up like he was going to say more, but then it disappeared. I waited to see if he was going to say something else, but he didn’t.

I tapped on another name on my phone. One I’d been afraid to think about contacting since I left.

“Hello?” My voice froze in my chest.

“Hello?”

“Hi Mel, it’s me, Rachel.”

After our call, I was even more confused. He’d been telling the truth. Gave up on his mission. Even let Rhys beat the crap out of him. Now what? I fell asleep with my hand wrapped around my phone, trying to figure out just what tomorrow would bring.