When he opened the door, this wasn’t what I thought we’d be doing. I thought we would get right down to the sex. That seemed to be the MO, but stripping… that wasn’t something I’d ever done before. Hadn’t even thought of doing. I was too afraid to do one of those pole fitness classes Dahlia raved about, but when I saw the way he looked at me, I didn’t think he’d care how shitty I would be at it.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. Game on. Let’s see how far I can go with this. I glanced over at the windows once again and figured, screw it. The other buildings were far away, and they might be able to see something, but not much. Maybe I wanted to put on a show.

He turned the music up and the song started again. I took my glasses off.

“Leave them on,” he said, leaning back in his chair. I pushed them back up my nose and closed my eyes, letting the rhythm of the music flow through me. The pulsing and pounding of the beat made my body throb and I slid my hands up and down my body. Slowly, I unbuttoned my shirt, popping each button out of the hole to the beat of the music. I slid my shirt down my arms and danced in front of him. My pussy throbbed and I could feel the wetness in my panties. I wasn’t nervous anymore. I just wanted to put on a show. A show he’d never forget.

He adjusted himself in his seat. I could see the outline of his cock in his pants. I decided to get a bit bolder and turned around, unzipping my skirt. I glanced over my shoulder and slid it down over my ass. I wasn’t wearing a thong or anything, but my cute black underwear with lace details got a nice reaction. I heard him groan behind me as I bent at the waist to slide the skirt down my legs.

I stepped out of my skirt and I spun around on my sensible kitten heels. I kicked them off and stalked closer to him. I did my best sexy walk, putting one foot in front of the other until I got closer to him. I dropped down, putting my hands on the arms of the chair. My bra and panties were the only thing between him and me. The song changed and I did a dip, swinging my hips from side to side, bringing my breasts inches from his face. His eyes burned with a fire so hot I thought it might burn me.

I turned and rubbed my ass on his lap. His hands slid along my waist and I pulled away.

“No touching,” I said, over my shoulder. “Isn’t that the rule in strip clubs? No touching the performers.” I helped myself up with the arms of the chair and slid up and down his lap, leaning back against his hard chest.

“That is the rule in the clubs. But we’re on my turf, so house rules apply and those say I can touch as much as I like.” He fingered my bra strap, sliding his finger under it and rubbing it along my back. I shivered and let him drop it down.

“And aren’t strippers supposed to get naked? You’re still practically in a bathing suit. The rest,” he said, pulling the other strap down. I stood from his lap and turned toward him. My breath caught in my throat and all the bravery I’d had before fled.

My heart hammered in my chest. I undid the clasps on the back and let the bra slide down my arms. It hit the floor and the sound bounced off the walls. That was when I realized the music had stopped. There weren’t any other sounds in the room, except the sound of my breathing and his. I crossed my arm over my chest, covering my breasts. I don’t know why I was suddenly self-conscious. I’d just been grinding on his dick and he’d seen my boobs before, but not under this much scrutiny.

“All of it,” he said again, more firmly. There would definitely be a wet spot on my panties when I took them off. I slid my hands under the waistband.

“Come here. I want to see,” he said. Of course, he did. I walked to him on unsteady feet and stood between his open legs. He leaned forward and tucked his fingers along the sides of my underwear and tugged them down, exposing me to him, excruciating inch by inch. There was no hiding now. His focus was completely on me. I fought the urge to squirm, to squeeze my thighs together to relieve some of the tension building between my legs.

He slid them completely off and showed me the wet spot.

“It looks like someone is enjoying herself.” My cheeks heated and I ducked my head.

“More,” he said, tucking my underwear into his pocket. I could feel the wetness coating the inside of my thighs. My clit pulsed and throbbed. I wanted to reach down and touch it, but I didn’t know if that was allowed. How screwed was that? I was wondering if I was allowed to touch myself in front of him.

“I…I don’t want to make a mess,” I said, nibbling my bottom lip. “Do you want me to take your pants off?”

“No.” He stared at me. His breath coming out hot and heavy. He was gripping onto the arm of the chair, like he needed to hold himself back. At least I wasn’t the only one affected. I dropped down onto his lap, facing him this time.

I dropped my arm from my breasts and he sucked in a breath. I got bolder and dropped myself down, rubbing my wet pussy against him. The feel of the smooth fabric of his pants against my bare, heated flesh increased my desire. It was so naughty. Here I was sitting on the lap of a man, completely naked and dripping, and he was completely clothed. I slid up and down, rubbing myself along him. The cold metal of his belt buckle brushed against the top of my pussy and made me shiver.

My clit was pounding now, throbbing, ready for attention. I dipped my fingers between us and tapped it. His eyes were on me the whole time. Boring into mine. Daring me to stop. But I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to keep going. I wanted him to fuck me. I wanted to come. I wanted to be who I was with him. Bold and daring.

Without warning, he grabbed onto my waist, raising me up, before the sound of his zipper broke through the silence in the apartment. He palmed my ass with one hand and slid on a condom he got out of nowhere with his other. His hands dug into my cheeks as he slammed me down onto his cock in one smooth breathtaking motion. I was so full, I screamed out, wrapping my arms around his head and dragging him to my chest.

“Fuck,” he bit out before he took control, bouncing me up and down on his cock. He pushed into me and withdrew before hammering back in. His smooth belt buckle rubbing against my clit. I was so close.

“Please,” I cried out. “Please let me come.” I trembled in his arms, doing everything I could to keep myself from coming.

“Not yet,” he groaned. His assault continued. He sucked one of my nipples into his mouth, his teeth teasing my peak. I whipped my head back and forth and cried out. It was too much. Too much to handle. I was racing toward my orgasm and the waves were crashing over me, threatening to push me right over the edge. He picked up the pace. His lips ran over my neck, biting me there, which inched me towards the edge, but only the slightest bit. My thighs shook and my back went rigid.

“Now,” he ground out along my neck. I bucked and his strong hold was the only thing that kept me there. That kept me from rocketing away. He roared into my neck, squeezing me to him until we were nearly melded as one. A study in denial of pleasure and its eventual release, as he came down from his high.

His heavy breath danced across my neck. He lifted me, pulled off the condom, and dropped it on the floor. The sweat that covered my skin cooled me as I went to slide off his lap.

He held me tight. His strong arms wrapped around me, molding our bodies together.

“Stay here for just a little,” he said, not lifting his head from where it rested on my shoulder.

“Okay,” I said and wrapped my arms around his neck. I leaned into him, letting my weight settle into him, and if he minded he didn’t say anything. He stroked my back, his fingers running along my spine. I ran mine through his hair. The blonde silky strands sliding through my fingers. He shuddered under me. We stayed like that for a long time, so long my legs went numb. The buttons of his shirt pushed against my naked flesh.

The awareness that I was still totally naked while he was completely clothed started the wheels of self-consciousness spinning in my head again. I tried to pull back from him to see his face. He let me lean back enough to see his eyes. The sadness there made me want to hug him back to me. Wrap him in my arms to help him forget whatever had pushed away his usual cocky, ridiculous self and replaced him with this sadness.

“Are you okay?” I asked, holding his face in my hands. My heart was thrumming for a different reason now. Something happened. I didn’t know what. I don’t even know if he knew, but the mood in the room changed and I wasn’t sure what to do next. Sexy, fuck you ’til you scream, Killian, I could handle. At least, I could pretend to handle. This other Killian was one that might worm his way into my heart and I couldn’t afford that.

“Let’s go to bed,” he said. He stood and took me with him, his hands firm on my ass. My legs wrapped around his waist, as he carried me into the bedroom and laid me on the bed. The look in his eyes was something else now, not the sadness from before, but I couldn’t place it. He stood over me, slowly undressing. His own striptease.

His eyes were on me the whole time, like he was afraid if he looked away, I’d disappear. I wasn’t going anywhere. I lifted up on my knees and helped him undo his belt buckle. It had been very good to me already. I slid his pants and boxers over his hips. His cock sprung out, ready for another round. I reached to wrap my hand around it when he caught my wrist.

“No,” he said, sliding into the bed and pushing me back. I tried to snatch my hand away, but he wouldn’t let me. He guided me up to the top of the bed and pulled back the covers. My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to figure out what he was doing.

He laid down and pulled me down after him. My back rested against his chest with his arms wrapped around me. I still wasn’t sure what he was doing. This wasn’t his usual self. He wasn’t a tender man. He was raw, primal, overwhelming. This threatened the game we’d been playing. This wasn’t just fucking. It was something else. And I didn’t know if I could handle whatever that might be.

He threaded his fingers through mine.

“Sleep,” he said, into my ear. His head snuggled in tight behind mine, his breath warming my neck. We stayed like that, breathing in unison, our bodies plastered together. His cock nestled against my ass, but no movements to do anything other than lay there. My eyelids were heavy and I felt myself sinking in deeper into his hold.

“I saw my dad today,” he said, so low I wasn’t sure he really said it until he continued. “I flew back tonight.” His dad? How long had he been gone? Questions fired through my head in rapid succession.

“I didn’t know you left town.” There was so much I didn’t know. So much I wanted to ask.

“I know. Because I didn’t tell you.” He tightened his arms around me.

“Is that why you seem upset tonight?”

He took a breath like he was going to deny what I said. I felt his body tighten before he relaxed.

“Yeah. I don’t like visiting him there.”

“Where is there?” Rhys told me he was in jail, but I didn’t want him to know I’d been talking to Rhys about any of this.

“Prison.” I froze, waiting for clarification. What do you say to that?

“I can imagine that would make you upset.”

“I’m not upset. I’m angry.”

“That he’s in prison?” I’m sure that wouldn’t be something he liked to think about, let alone having to visit him there.

“That he’s getting out,” he said, into my hair. It muffled his voice and tickled my scalp.

“That’s not good news?” Shouldn’t he be happy to have his dad back? To be able to see him?

“No, it’s not. He’s not a good man,” he said, holding our hands up, so he could look at our fingers laced together.

“What did he go to jail for?” I took a risk. Maybe he’d tell me it was none of my business, but I wanted to know. I needed to know what his dad had done that transformed Killian’s life. It was quiet for so long I thought he wasn’t going to say anything.

“Murder,” he said. “Now sleep.” My breath caught in my throat. Murder. His murderer father was getting out of jail. What happened that summer his dad went to jail and how did it involve Rhys? So many questions I wanted to ask. I gathered my courage trying to figure out which question to ask first. But before I could ask anything, his slow and steady breath brushed against my neck.

Sleep. He needed it. I needed it. My questions could wait for tomorrow. His arm rested across my shoulder, his thigh over my legs. I was completely enveloped by him and there was nowhere else I wanted to be. Even with everything that happened, he opened up to me. Showed me there was so much more to him than what everyone thought. Maybe I could get him to believe that too.

My eyelids were heavy as I closed my eyes and drifted off to a place where I wasn’t betraying myself or anyone else by being here, in this bed, with a man who turned my world upside down. Sleep dragged me under and nothing else existed but me and him.