The heat of Rhys’s anger directed at me as he fired me and kicked me out prickled my skin and made it hard to breathe. I hadn’t worked to preserve his legacy, I’d helped Killian destroy it. Instead of doing what I needed to do and stopping him, I let myself get seduced. I’d given into the thrill of what he made me feel. Like I was free falling, but it was only a matter of time until I crashed.

I showed up at Killian’s apartment. The smug look on his face as he swung the door open made me want to punch him. Even with the cut on his lip and bruises on his face, he looked so happy with himself.

He flipped through some papers like nothing out of the ordinary had happened today. Like he hadn’t gotten me fired today.

“Your suggestions about the takeover worked perfectly. Finished up the paperwork today. I am now the proud owner of the final piece needed to make Rose & Thorne mine,” he said, a lazy smile on his face. The cut above his eyebrow was taped shut.

“Is that all you have to say to me?”

“Come on, Rachel. You knew where this was heading. You helped me along the way.” I closed my eyes and tried to control my breathing. His chair scraped across the floor as he stood. His footsteps thudding on the carpet. I could feel the heat of his stare and body as he got closer. I opened my eyes, coming face to face with my blue-eyed obsession.

“You went in there today, knowing it would get me fired,” I said, holding back my tears. Stupid, stupid girl. My fingers tingled and for the first time in my life, I longed to smack someone. I wanted to smack him…hard.

“I went in there with a plan. Something you knew I’d been planning from the moment we met. And even though you knew, you came to me night after night.” He stepped closer. For every one of his, I took a retreating step until my back banged up against the door.

“Because we had a deal.” He reached up to touch my cheek with his bandaged hand, but I jerked my head back, banging it against the door.

“We had a deal and you got some of what you wanted. I was never going to let you stop me.”

It was my fault just as much as his, but I wanted to punish him, hurt him, like I was hurting. I wanted this to end and I wanted him to have scars just like I would. And I wanted to feel his hands on me one last time. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I needed it, one last time.

I slammed my lips into his. It wasn’t gentle or pretty, it was raw and angry. I bit his lip until the coppery flavor of blood hit my tongue. I didn’t know if it was his or mine from the angry way he returned my kiss. He held my head in his hand as he clawed my clothes off my body.

My pussy throbbed and clenched in anticipation of what he was going to do next. I returned the favor. I’d give as good as I got. That was one thing he’d taught me well. I unfastened his pants and shoved them down over his ass. We didn’t even wait to get to the bed. He pushed me to the floor and I was more than happy to go, the carpet rubbing against my back. The friction was nothing compared to the angry heat raging between us. He followed me down, covering my body with his.

His hands were everywhere, in my hair, on my breasts, pinching and twisting my nipples as I cried out before he shoved his fingers between my legs. He was the conductor and the orchestra all at once, driving me higher and pulling and plucking every string I had. For an instant, I slammed my eyes shut. Some part of me knowing what a mistake this was. How much trouble he’d already brought me and could only do more.

“Don’t try me, sweetheart. I know you want this as much as I do. Don’t make me make you beg. I know how much you hate it,” he said, giving me a look that flooded me even more. One nip on my breast and I was spreading myself open for him. The sound of my own wetness was the only thing I could hear over our heavy breathing. He pumped his fingers into me, adding more, so I was teetering on the edge of pain. But he kept going, letting me adjust. Always making sure I was ready, but not too ready.

His belt buckle jangled as he pressed himself into me. His cock sent shivers of pure bliss radiating through my body.

“So wet,” he groaned. I felt him everywhere. I’d never been so full. Every time with him was like the first. He stretched me and hammered into me. I cried out, but the sound got caught in my throat as he pounded into me. The carpet rubbed against my back. I knew I was getting a rug burn, but right then, I didn’t care.

I didn’t want to be anything more than the pleasure he gave me and the pain I could inflict on him. I dug my nails into his back and he groaned, staring down at me. A smile twisted his lips and I knew he liked it. He liked giving as well as he got. He redoubled his efforts and without even touching my clit, he set me off.

I screamed, my body arching off the floor. Screaming his name and coming apart at the seams. Completely destroyed. But he didn’t stop. He’d never been one to stop before he got everything he wanted. I was so sensitive, on the razor’s edge of painful and ecstasy.

“You broke my rule, sweetheart,” he said, nipping his way along my neck.

“Please, please,” I begged. I didn’t even know what for. For him to stop or for him to keep going. I didn’t know. He lifted me. Carried me into the bedroom, still embedded inside me. Still pumping me up and down on his cock as smaller aftershocks made me tremble and moan. My back slid along the cool bedspread.

I hated him. I hated him so much and myself for allowing this to happen. Even as my legs trembled and my eyes rolled back in my head. I couldn’t stop.

“Are you ready, baby?” he asked, but he didn’t wait for a response. He spun me around, putting me on my hands and knees. My arms collapsed under me and he slid his arm under my body, between my breasts and up to my neck. His hand wrapped around my neck tight enough to hold me up. I could barely breathe, but continued pushing back against him.

He placed kisses on my shoulders. The tenderness I didn’t want from him before he drove into me, making my toes curl, and I screamed again. I screamed out my lust for him. My love for him that he killed. And my anger that burned so brightly. For everything he’d done to destroy my life.

My screams died in an orgasm so strong, I blacked out. The room winked in and out as his body tightened against mine and he whispered in my ear. I couldn’t even make out his words, I was so far gone. Another orgasm ripped the breath from my lungs and I felt him swell before coming.

He collapsed on top of me before rolling onto his side, still inside me as he held me against his chest. The strong arms I’d enjoyed so many nights when I shouldn’t have were like anchors holding me down. I pushed on his arms, trying to get him to let me go. To get him off me. I rolled away. He reached for me.

“Rachel, do I need to show you again just how hard it is for you to deny me? I’m more than happy to go another couple of rounds, if you give me a few minutes to recover. I like whatever got into you tonight, sweetheart. You need to bring that every time we’re together.”

And I couldn’t deny him. His touch set me ablaze, a churning cauldron of longing that threatened to boil over, destroying everything in its path and it had—me. Every command, every demand, every stolen moment left me gasping for air, afraid I’d never be able to breathe again.

But now that the haze cleared, the sexual spell he put me under, that I allowed myself to be put under, I saw what I really was and who he’d made me into. I was weak, so weak I hadn’t been able to resist him. That was my shame to bare. No one to blame but myself as the orgasmic high careened back to earth.

An ugly pain unfurled inside of me and I winced as I stood. The rug burn on my back smarting with each step. A sob caught in my throat.

“He knows now, Rachel. There’s nothing to hide. Don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy yourself. Haven’t been enjoying yourself. You may have thought you were doing this for Rhys, but I know the truth,” he said, sitting up in the bed. His eyes were intense, staring into me with a cocky smile on his lips. My chest tightened.

He was getting everything he wanted. Everything he planned. I’d helped him while betraying someone who’d taken a chance on me and I’d ruined everything. So many people would be devastated by whatever Killian had planned. I’d ruined the life I tried to build for myself. I glanced up, tears in my eyes, and the smile slid off his face.

“I let you use me,” I said, more an accusation at myself than at him. He didn’t give a shit about me. He used me and I let him. I deserved this and I’d have to face the consequences.

“Rachel,” he said, leaning forward, trying to catch my hand. I pushed away from him, trembling. I stared down at the evidence of our torrid tryst on my thighs and I couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. Ragged sobs burst free from my chest. I raced out of the room, grabbed my clothes from the living room floor, dashing into the hallway bathroom.

I slammed the door behind me and slid down the door, clutching my knees to my chest. I buried my head in my knees, tears pouring down my cheeks, and let the waves of regret crash over me. I needed to remember this moment. Remember who I allowed into my heart and into my bed. I jumped at the thumping of Killian’s fist around the door. Perfect timing.

“Rachel, come on. So what if you got fired. You can always come work for me. I’ve seen how much you can do. Being an assistant is so much less than you’re destined for. But you can have so much more with me. Come work for me. We can do this together,” he said, through the door. I couldn’t see him, but I knew he had that carefree smile plastered on his face. The one that said he didn’t give a shit about what anyone thought. The one that made the flapping wings in my stomach beat a little bit faster, but not now. I’d wanted to be like him so much.

To not care what other people thought.

To finally forge my own path away from the life I’d been born into.

To prove myself.

All I’d done was prove my parents right. It would have been safer if I’d stayed home. Listened to them and joined my father at the office, or even my mom at the foundation. But I’d been stubborn. So stubborn, and now I’d have to go crawling back. All those people in the hospitals. Organizations that could have used Rhys’s help. I’d failed them. All of them, because I couldn’t think straight about Killian Thorne.

I wiped the tears from my face and wiped my nose on the back of my hand. I stared at myself in the mirror. My red ringed eyes staring back at me. The clothes I couldn’t wait to get out of only a little while ago lay crumpled on the floor. I quickly threw them on. Shoving my arms and legs into them like they were at fault for what happened. Stupid clothes, just falling off for a man who wanted nothing more than my body and what he could get out of me.

I braced my hand on the door, the cold metal centering me. Cold and hard. That was what I needed to be. I channeled Killian as I swung the door open. His bright blue eyes, the color of the ocean in some far away destination that you wanted to dive into before you even got to your room. His eyes were wide and he didn’t have the shit-eating grin I thought he would. He stared back at me before turning it back on.

“Rachel, just calm down,” he said, his charm ratcheted up to eleven. He stood there, his cock swinging in the wind like it didn’t matter one bit that he was trying to reason with me while completely naked. I just glared at him and pushed past, searching for my bag. It peeked out from under the couch and I knelt to tug it free.

Killian’s shadow fell over me as he stood beside me. I glanced up and came face to face, well cock, with the one piece of him I’d come to love and hate. Loved it for how it made me feel and hated for how weak it made me. The rest of him, I completely hated. I glared and stomped to the door. His heavy footfalls behind me as I tried to ignore him.

“Be reasonable,” he said as I pulled the door open. His hand caught it and he pushed it closed. I refused to turn around. I didn’t want to face him. I didn’t want him to know he’d won. He warned me the first time we met that he’d get what he wanted and more. Why hadn’t I believed him? Why hadn’t I run the other way and never looked back? Because I never backed down from a challenge. It was why I was in the city in the first place. I thought I could chart my own course, but I’d never come up against someone as formidable as him.

He slid his hand along my neck, and I flinched. He pushed my hair aside, exposing my skin to him. “Why are you denying what’s between us? Are you going to run back to Rhys and beg for forgiveness?” he whispered against my neck. I could hear it. His smirk. He didn’t give a shit about me. For some reason, I thought he did. He told me over and over what this was to him and I didn’t want to believe him. Joke’s on me.

His body heat radiated off him, and even through my clothes I could feel his hard, muscled body. The flutters that showed up whenever he was near me were back, but the tingly feeling I got before was dead. It was like an automatic response. I’d confused my body’s reaction to his beauty for something else. Something real. But this wasn’t real. He wasn’t real and even I wasn’t real. I’d been pretending for so long. I liked to think this was my real life, but I’d run away from that. It was time to go back. I rested my forehead against the door.

“Just let me go, Killian,” I said, the fight and fire gone. I’d have to run back home just like they said I would. I turned the handle and tugged on the door, but he wouldn’t let it budge.

“I don’t want to let you go,” he said, his lips dangerously close to my skin. The hairs on my neck stood up. “We’re not done,” he said, plastering his wet lips on my skin. Everything was focused on that spot. My body hyperaware of his erection digging into my back and his hands trying to work their way under my shirt. I threw my elbows back, right into his stomach. He let out a whoosh of air as I turned around.

“I’m done. I’m finished with whatever this thing it is we have going on. You used me and I let you, but I’m done,” I said, as fiercely as I could. I blew out a deep breath, the prickle of tears in the backs of my eyes. I would not cry in front of him.

“We’re not done until I say we’re done, sweetheart,” he said, the lazy smile back. His perfect white teeth on full display. He stroked his already hard cock and out of reflex I glanced down. “You can’t resist me Rachel, and I don’t want you to go. Come back to bed and I’ll make you forget all about it,” he said, turning back to the bed like I was just being a silly child. Like I didn’t have my own mind and would be cock-mitized by him. Maybe that was true before but not now.

“I’m done.”