When I awoke, I was warm and dry, wrapped in a soft blanket.
A beeping sound nearby came from a small array of machines that kept track of my vital signs. I opened my eyes to the sterile whiteness of a hospital room. My body ached with every breath. I cringed when I tried to turn my head to watch a woman in hospital scrubs record my information on a clipboard.
She glanced at me over her shoulder and smiled.
“You’re awake.”
“Where am I?” I asked, my voice a hoarse whisper that burned its way out of my throat.
“You’re in Paxton Memorial Hospital,” the nurse asked brightly, coming over to check my IV line. “How do you feel?”
“I’m thirsty,” I answered in a dull voice.
“I’ll get you some ice in just a second. I bet you’re probably hungry, too.”
“I am.”
Starving in fact.
“They brought you in this morning. You’ve been asleep since you got here. I have to say, you’re in good shape for someone who spent the night in icy water. Your lungs are clear, and you don’t have any broken bones. You had a few nasty scrapes and one cut that needed stitches, but other than needing a tetanus shot, you’re okay.”
“That’s good news, I guess,” I said soberly.
I closed my eyes against the harsh white light in the room, and let my head fall back against the crinkly hospital pillow.
Unlike in the movies, I remembered everything.
Every small detail.
I remembered the shadow of Mustang falling and disappearing beneath the muddy water’s surface. I also remembered the way his ghostly image and his voice appeared to me, giving me the strength to fight my way out of the flood.
It was all for nothing.
Now, I was alive and empty inside.
I almost wished I’d never met Mustang in the first place if fate was only going to take him away, ripping him out of my arms and out of my heart.
I knew on some level that there had to be a reason, a purpose in all of this, but for the life of me I couldn’t figure out what it could be.
Hadn’t I been a good person?
Hadn’t I even found a way to use the ranch to help other people?
Was it too much to ask that I be allowed to keep the one person who’d made me happier than I’d ever been?
I’d already endured more than I should’ve had to, losing my dad to a horrifically violent crime.
Why did I have to lose Mustang, too?
“Of course, it’s good news,” the woman said cheerfully. “The fact that you're finally awake is even better news,” she continued with a big smile.
“Why is that?”
“Because now I can go tell your husband that you’re awake,” she answered. “Maybe then he’ll get off our backs and quit hounding us every two minutes. He’s been parked outside in the hallway since they brought you in.”
My husband?
“I think you have me confused with someone else,” I said, frowning.
“You’re not married to that big hunk of muscles with the tattoos and the gruff voice?” she asked.
My heart jumped, and a lump formed in my throat.
I raised my eyebrows and asked, “Mustang? He’s really here?”
He’s alive! It wasn’t a dream.
“Yes.” the nurse answered. “He’s not your husband?”
“Not unless I missed the wedding.”
The nurse laughed, opened the door and spoke to someone in the hallway. I heard pounding footsteps that sounded like someone was running, then he was at my side.
Mustang appeared beside the bed and took my hand from beneath the sheet.
He held it tight in his without speaking.
I struggled to speak and couldn’t find the words.
“Hey there,” he said softly, placing a kiss on my lips before stepping back and grabbing the chair beside the bed.
He pulled it over close so that I didn’t have to turn my head to see his handsome face. An angry red slash above his eyebrow glistened from ointment, but otherwise, he looked fine.
Better than fine.
I’d never seen anything that looked so good.
I was still too confused to speak. I’d seen him get carried away by the flood, and then in the morning was certain it was his ghost that helped me through.
Yet here he was, warm, gorgeous and very much alive.
“Hey, yourself.”
“How are you feeling?” he asked. “Are you hurt?”
“I don’t know,” I started to cry even as I smiled at him.
“Now, now, no crying,” he said, suddenly concerned. “It’s all over. You’re okay.”
“How is this possible? I saw you fall,” I began, doubting my own memory of the incident. “And then...”
He nodded and leaned down to kiss the back of my hand.
“I did fall, then I went along with the current for a while. I slowly started veering towards an overturned tree and wedged myself between it. I couldn't see you, and I guess I must’ve passed out from exhaustion. The sound of the helicopter woke me up again. I saw it was hovering upstream so I knew they had spotted you in the water. That’s how I found you again.”
“What happened then?”
“You were hoisted up into the helicopter. Then they hauled my big ass up too. They brought us both to the hospital here.”
I shook my head with no recollection of most of that.
“I thought you were dead and that I’d lost you forever.”
“I’m not. I’m right here,” he said, taking my hand in his and holding it firmly as I shook with the sobs I was trying to hold back.
“I’m sorry, I can’t stop crying,” I began, still overwhelmed from the emotional strain of being alone and wanting to die, to being so overjoyed that Mustang was alive and real.
“No more tears, baby. I’m fine,” he assured me. “Unless it makes you feel better to cry.”
“That’s not why I’m crying,” I said, laughing as I wiped at the tears with the back of my other hand.
I lifted it and gestured to the hospital room and the building.
“You’re inside a building!”
Mustang laughed too and whispered, “The next time you want me to come inside, promise me that you won’t try to die. Just tell me, and I’ll come in. There had to be an easier way than this to fix my broken head.”
“Nope, no more dying for either of us. Indoors, outdoors, I don’t care. We’ll pitch a tent, live under a rock, whatever. Just as long as you’re still there.”
I smiled at him and was a little bit shocked to realize I meant it.
Every single word.
The city woman who once lived in a home with stainless steel appliances would give up everything just as long as it meant a lifetime with Mustang.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he promised me. “I’m here. I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”
He stood to lean over me and kissed me again, lingering with his lips pressed against mine. I reached up and put my hand on the back of his neck, refusing to let him go.
“I love you, too, Mustang,” I said after finally releasing him.
We both laughed at the sudden increase in speed from the heart rate monitor that beeped near the head of my bed.
The nurse rushed back into the room.
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
We both laughed sheepishly.
I tilted my head at Mustang.
“The big hunk of muscles with tattoos gave me a kiss. We might’ve gotten a little carried away.”
The nurse gave Mustang a disapproving look.
“She needs her rest,” she ordered.
“Yes, ma’am,” he said solemnly. “I hear you loud and clear.”
He winked at me as soon as she turned her head.
“For now,” he leaned over to whisper in my ear.