Chapter Nine: Gabriel
I was beginning to feel ridiculous.
After I left Lynette at the bar last night, I waited for her to call me, but she didn't. As possessive as I may sound, she should have called me, or texted me at least. When people say they’re going to do something, they should do it.
I can’t say I’m surprised though, considering what she is dealing with.
That still didn’t make it right. I understood that her mind was in a million different places at the moment, but that was no excuse.
I spent most of the night, and the morning waiting by my phone, but it just stayed silent on the side table next to the bed. Then when I did call her, she hung up on me, which frustrated me even more.
To pass the time, I went for dinner at a diner nearby. The coffee was strong and hot. As I glanced out the window, the young waitress walked up to my table.
“Is everything alright, sir?”
I glanced at her and managed to crack a smile. There was no point in me taking out my frustrations on her.
“Yes, everything is good. Thank you.”
“Can I get you anything else?”
“Just a refill, please,” I said and motioned to my empty cup.
“Of course.”
She disappeared briefly but was back again with a pot of coffee. As she filled up my cup, she frowned.
“Are you waiting for someone, sir?”
I glanced at her and shook my head. “No. Why would you ask that?”
“You’ve been staring at your phone the entire time you’ve been here.”
“Do you always keep such a close eye on your tables?”
“Only the one with the good-looking guys.”
I chuckled in amusement and said, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Is she coming?”
“Who?”
“The girl you’re waiting for.”
“I guess not,” I muttered.
“Too bad. She’d be stupid not to show up.”
“Aren't you a little young to be so flirty?” I asked.
“I’m just being honest. Enjoy your coffee,” she said and walked away.
I chuckled to myself. I stayed there for a short while longer and then paid the tab, giving the young waitress a more than generous tip. She looked a little disappointed when she didn't see my number written on the receipt.
I drove to the Speakeasy, but it was closed, which was odd. She didn’t mention being closed. I would’ve expected Lynette to be there early, cleaning up, or hiding from the outside world.
Instead she was nowhere to be found.
Had she opened the package, and was now refusing to talk to me?
The worry gnawed inside me and I dialed her number again.
“Hello?” she answered.
I wasn't sure whether it was relief, or anger from worrying about her the entire night, that washed over me when I heard her voice, but my shoulders relaxed and I let out a breath.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Gabriel, I am so sorry. I had to take care of something and then...”
“And then what?”
“Nothing.”
“Are you okay?”
“I don’t know.”
“Jesus, Lynette. What is going on with you? There’s something you’re not telling me.”
I tried my best to stay calm and couldn’t.
“Something’s not right. I asked you to call me when you got home, and you didn't. Then I had to wait until three o’clock, driving myself crazy that something happened to you. Then you hung up on me. What am I supposed to think?”
“It’s nothing for you to be concerned with,” she said softly. “I’m fine.”
“You don't sound fine.”
“Okay. You win. I'm not fine.”
I took a deep breath, once again attempting to calm myself down.
“Where are you?”
“I’m at home.”
“I'm coming over.”
“Gabriel, no.”
“Why not?”
“There are some things I need to take care of. I can't leave right now. You don’t understand.”
“Then tell me.”
“I have to deal with this on my own. Okay?”
“Please, Lynette. I’m really worried.”
“You can't come here. I'll meet you.”
“Where?” I asked and realized just how urgent my voice sounded.
“There's a park about four blocks away from the bar. It's not very big. If you follow the trail, there's a gazebo in the center. I'll meet you there.”
“Fine. I'm on my way there now.”
“Wait! Give me forty-five minutes. I need to shower.”
“I'll wait for you then.”
“Okay. I'll see you soon.”
Forty-five minutes seemed like a long time to wait. I found the park easily, and even though the gazebo was a bit overgrown, it was also easy to spot. I sat down and checked my watch. She’d be here soon, if she wasn't running late, or outright avoiding me.
The latter seemed just as probable as the former.
The sun started to set, setting the sky alight in hues of orange and red, and suddenly there she was.
I saw her from across the park as she approached in a light green dress with her hair pulled out of her face by a headband. She looked carefree and serene as the breeze blew the soft material of her dress against her legs.
The sight of her made my entire body tingle. Not only in a sexual manner though. She was beautiful, sure, and the way her hips swayed was enough to drive any man up the proverbial flagpole, but the way she made me feel, was different.
I wanted to help her, protect her.
Not only out of duty, as she thought, but because I wanted to. I didn't feel sorry for her because of her circumstances. I wanted to be there for her as she walked through them, conquering them, just as I had conquered mine.
Well, some of them.
I stood up and took a few steps towards her, leaning heavily on my cane. In the whirlwind of worry and frustration, I had forgotten to take my pain medication. Normally the pain would be crippling. Today it was bearable. For now at least.
“You look beautiful,” I said in a low voice.
She looked down at herself as if I had just made the most outrageous remark on the planet and shook her head modestly.
“Thank you. I was in a hurry and didn’t have much time to get dressed.”
“Well, you look good, regardless.”
She looked up at me and grew serious.
“Gabriel, look, I told you that first night that I couldn't do this.”
I nodded again, remembering her words.
“I didn't expect this either. The truth is I want it now. After that night, I wanted you. I can’t stop thinking about you and it’s crazy for me, because I’ve never felt this way before.”
“You didn't know me then. You still don't know anything about me now.”
I closed the distance between us, and glance at her, our faces only inches apart.
“I may not know much about you. That doesn’t change how I feel.”
“My life is such a mess right now and you...”
“I what,” I asked, reaching for her hand.
“You’re just making it worse.”
“Tell me you don't want to see me anymore,” I said.
“You're not being fair,” she whispered, turning away so I couldn’t see the tears threatening to fall. It was too late. I already saw them.
“Look me in the eyes and tell me.”
Her eyes were sad and confused. I was still hopeful.
“This isn’t going to work.”
“Tell me why, and I’ll be gone. You’ll never have to deal with me ever again. I just need you to say those words.”
Her eyes were now focused on me in the half darkness, and she placed her hand on my chest. I knew she felt the way my heart was pounding. A wave of doubt rushed over me, not knowing what she was thinking.
I hoped that she wouldn't tell me to leave, or that she didn't feel anything. If she did, I would know she was lying. The way she looked at me, showed me that even though she was stubborn as hell, there was something real between us.
“Gabriel...” her voice was soft. “Tell me about you.”
So, she wasn't going to answer my question, but at least she was making an effort to get to know me. That was a start.
“Ask me anything. What do you want to know?”
“Everything, anything really.”
“Okay. I’ll tell you.”
I led her inside the gazebo, which had cooled down significantly since we’d arrived. We sat down on a wooden picnic table, overlooking the park.
She fidgeted with the silver ring on her middle finger, avoiding my eyes. Suddenly I was nervous. I wasn’t used to talking about myself, especially when it meant bringing up painful memories. I didn't want anything I was about to tell her to make her change her mind.
To be on the safe side, I asked, “Where do you want me to start?”
“Your full name? Where you’re from? Normal things,” she answered.
“I’m Gabriel Thomas. I was born and raised in a small town in Maine. I joined the military when I was nineteen. I went on five tours. I saw a lot of death and terrible things. More than any person should have to see in their entire life.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. I made that choice, so I have to live with it. I would like to say I knew what I was getting into when I joined up. That wouldn’t really be the truth because how can anyone be prepared for something like that?”
“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
“No, I am only child. Naturally my parents were upset when I was deployed and devastated when I was injured. Now they’re just concerned that the family name will die with me.”
She smiled slightly and lowered her gaze.
“Why would they be worried about that?
“I’m a hermit who only goes on dates when his parents fix him up.”
She laughed.
“How’s that working out for you?”
“Not well,” I reply honestly. “It gets worse. They’re worried that my manly parts might not work right now.” I motioned to my leg, and groin area.
“Should I call them up and give you a reference? The last time I noticed everything was working just fine.”
“Thanks, that is oddly…comforting to know.”
I threw my arm around her shoulders and she snuggled closer.
“Why did you go into the Army?”
“I felt like I had a duty.”
“There’s that word again. Duty.”
“I wanted to do something that mattered. Maybe I only wanted to be remembered for being brave and fearless.”
“And now?”
“I wish I could forget it all.”
There was a moment of silence, and then she asked the question I knew was coming.
“Why did you stay away for so long?”
“Because I was dealing with my own shit and couldn’t make it.”
“What shit?” she asked.
“I was paralyzed from the waist down for almost a year.”
She looked at me with wide eyes and gasped.
“What?”
“After the incident I had to have surgery. More than one. It felt like I was never going to leave the hospital. One surgery after the other and a lot of physical therapy. I wasn’t expected to ever walk again.”
“My god,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry to hear you had to go through all that.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. At least I didn't lose my life. I came home eventually. I should apologize to you.”
“Why?”
“Terry lost his life.”
“It was an accident. We’ve been through this already.”
“One that could’ve been avoided,” I said and hung my head in shame. “By me.”
“All accidents can be avoided. That’s why they’re called accidents.”
I didn't say anything, and I allowed a heavy silence to hang between us. The guilt still filled me to the core, and I’d give anything to change what had happened. Unfortunately, I couldn’t, and the memories that haunted me since that day, would no doubt stay with me forever.
“Gabriel?” her soft voice cut through the silence.
“Yeah?”
“How did you survive?”
“I wasn't as close to the explosion as he was. You don’t need to know the specifics.”
“No,” she said. “I don’t need to know the details.”
“All you need to know is that we had a deal. If anything happened to either one of us, we’d make sure the other’s family was okay. He would personally check in on my parents, and I’d check on you.”
“That’s mildly insulting.”
“Why?”
“I’m an adult. I don't need to be looked after. I’m the one who's been taking care of everything, including the bar.”
“I know you’re an adult. So are my parents. Our deal wasn't just about helping you. I wanted to make sure they were okay if I died, and Terry wanted to make sure that you’re not all alone.”
“I’m just a debt to you.”
I sigh loudly.
“No. Of course not. Stop thinking that.”
“Then what is it?”
“Terry and I wanted to make sure our families knew we were thinking about them when we were over there. All the time. It made us feel better knowing the other would keep their promise. I’m sorry it took me so long. He would’ve been thrilled about that part.”
“You’re here now,” she said. “Can I ask you something?”
I reach over and squeeze her hand, then hold it in mine.
“Sure.”
“Why me?” she asked. “I was just a face in a crowded club.”
I shook my head and tried to explain myself properly without upsetting her, which had proven to be a difficult feat so far.
“That night in the club, I had no idea that you were the person I had come to see. You wore way too much makeup and that dress was…”
“Trashy?” she interrupted.
“Yes.” I laughed and breathed a sigh of relief. “You said it, not me.”
“Let’s call it sexy. The word sounds better. It was the only thing in my closet that remotely resembled anything suitable for a night of clubbing. I don’t go out much.”
“That’s a relief.” My expression grew serious again. “The point I’m trying to get to is that you didn't carry yourself like you were wearing a trashy dress. Sure, your dancing was provocative and sexy as hell, and you have the mouth that could sometimes put a sailor to shame.”
I grinned at her nod of acknowledgment.
“I didn't see a trashy girl in a gold dress wearing too much makeup. I saw a beautiful, witty, albeit sarcastic woman who was strong and vulnerable at the same time. And when I kissed you it was like I had never kissed anyone before.”
Her bottom lip trembled, and she quickly blinked back a tear. She ran her fingers along my arm.
“Your skin is so warm,” she whispered.
“It’s the southern heat. I’m not used to it.”
She looked at me and I couldn’t stay away from those beautiful lips a moment longer. She moaned softly and opened her mouth without being prompted. My other hand trailed over her soft skin, from her shoulder down to her arm.
“Now tell me about you,” I whispered against her lips.
She opened her eyes and glanced at me.
“Like what?”
“Tell me whatever you think I need to know to make it alright for me to feel like this?” I whispered again and placed her hand on my chest, allowing her to feel my heart pounding wildly against my ribs.
She smiled slowly and reached up, wiping the sweat from my brow.
“Not here. You might dehydrate.”
“Good idea. Are you hungry?” I asked.
“Yes, you?”
“Ravenous.”
She chuckled and stood up.
“Let’s go find a place with air-conditioning. I don’t want to see you get all hot and bothered in the middle of a public park.”