Chapter 12: Lydia
I was roused from sleep the next morning by a call from Theo which lasted close to an hour. He told me about how the crisis with the pipeline was finally being resolved and that the authorities were being helpful getting things back to normal in the area. I pleaded with him to be careful. When Theo talked about missing me I felt guilty when I realized I hadn’t given myself the chance to do the same for him.
“I’ll make this up to you, I promise,” he said deeply. “Not sure I’ll be stuck here more than a few more days, a week at most.”
“You just stop worrying about me,” I said with a gentle tone. “Do whatever needs to be done to have everything under wraps. I only wish that business didn’t take so much of your effort and time. I know you thrive on the pressure and love what you do but you need to think about making more opportunities to relax yourself. You’re human, not a machine and it’s not all about work. Though I get it that it’s your drive that’s all part of being the success you are today.”
“Exactly. No rest in the empire, baby,” Theo said with a chuckle. “But you’re making perfect sense. I’ll think more about it now that I’m about to jump into marriage with the most understanding woman a man could want.”
His tone held deep warmth and I felt even guiltier for some reason. I couldn’t help the underlying feeling of relief I felt when the call ended. I stretched and as I smiled with enthusiasm for the new day, I knew it had nothing to do with Theo’s wakeup call.
I thought of the great time I’d had yesterday with Brian and of course Brandi too.
I got ready quickly while thinking about what options might lie open for more adventures. Just as I was putting finishing touches to my makeup, Brandi came knocking.
She looked around the room with obvious admiration, saying it was much different from hers though she liked her own room too. “I’m really glad I went for this resort; it lives up to its name. These small boutique locations always seem a lot more rewarding than those ‘all-inclusive’ spots. I’ll be truly sorry to leave. What’s on the agenda for today?”
I shrugged. “I’m thinking of finally trying out one of those boat excursions that leave from the marina. If I’m feeling more daring I could maybe rent a kayak, go paddling and just get the best out of that beautiful water. Or, I might feel like simply picking out one of those nice loungers on the beach and catch up on the latest bestseller.”
“Forget the book, Lydia,” said Brandi with a snort. “All that excursion stuff and kayaking sounds great, but shouldn’t we call Brian and ask him where he might think of showing us today? After all he obviously knows what’s available more than we could.”
I sighed, placing down my tube of mascara. “And what if he has work to do? He’s not here on a pleasure trip like we are. Brian has already gone above and beyond to make us enjoy our time here. I don’t think we should expect him to be at our beck and call.”
Brandi paused thoughtfully. “You’re right. But after breakfast, there’ll be no harm in keeping an eye out for him just in case, at least before we make up our minds about today.”
I still thought Brandi was being impractical with her insistence to seek Brian out. Yes, I would love to see him again and spend time around him but that wasn’t my privilege. Besides hadn’t I promised myself to work on getting things right in my head about everything that was happening in my life in terms of my relationship and future? I couldn’t stay focused if I kept letting Brian into the picture. He was confusing me enough as it was.
So why did I feel somewhat put out when we ended up catching no sign of him? We had breakfast and then tried his number, but it was unavailable. We even checked with the reception desk which was manned by other employees I didn’t recognize. They couldn’t say where Brian had gone, only that he wasn’t available. I would have been happy even to see Jem but she was absent as well.
“I’m sure he’s off on something to do with the resort. I told you he would be busy,” I said as we headed outside to join the trolleybus that would take us around the intended stops which included the shops and then the beach.
Brandi sighed with disappointment. “Well. I guess it’s just you and me.” She linked arms with me and we had a slightly dejected air that seemed to follow us for the rest of the day of sightseeing and marine activities. But at least we had each other, as Brandi had pointed out.
By night time we found our way back up to our rooms to rest. Neither felt like going down for dinner so much later we ended up in Brandi’s room, ordering up a huge midnight feast while watching movie after movie. I was reluctant to crawl back to my room so I crashed with Brandi who was only too glad for the company.
The next two days went by with more resort activities or just simply relaxing. I made inroads into some of the books I had saved on my e-reader device that had been left unread in my library for months.
The day for Brandi’s departure was drawing close and both off us chose to enjoy dinner in one of the resort’s outdoor eateries overlooking the moonlit beach.
“Admit it, you miss Brian,” Brandi said suddenly, breaking into my faraway thoughts.
I hadn’t even realized I’d drifted away as we’d eaten in silence.
Now I looked up, startled. “What?”
“We haven’t seen him these past few days. And he has your number yet he doesn’t call,” Brandi went on. “Either he’s on some critical assignment, or he’s forgotten all about us.”
Brandi’s words pricked more than I would have believed. I shoved my food around in my plate with my fork.
“I told you, Brandi. Brian was never part of the package. He was just being nice. Taking us round and spending time with us. As a staff of the resort he wouldn’t think twice about giving us that bit of attention.”
“Perhaps,” Brandi agreed. “But I thought you guys were friends at least. He shouldn’t have vanished like that. Do you think he’s in some kind of fix?”
“I really don’t care,” I said, taking a hasty gulp of water. The food felt like cardboard in my throat all of a sudden. “Look, he’s just someone I ran into here. Big deal.”
“You keep saying that like you want to believe it. To convince yourself he means nothing to you.” Brandi compelled me to meet her probing gaze. “I think he’s fantastic, Lydia. Not just because he’s good looking. But I can tell he’s a genuine person. But he hasn’t got eyes for me – it’s you he’s interested in. You need to stop acting like you don’t feel even a little something where he’s concerned.”
I finally lost my cool, my eyes flashing angrily at Brandi’s constant teasing. ‘What do you want me to say, Brandi? That I’ve gone and fallen for some near-stranger I’ve only known a few days? And while I’m supposedly engaged to someone else? If that’s what you want to hear, then it’s true. I’m feeling...things I’m not meant to feel. But they refuse to go away and it’s like I’m dying inside because I can’t understand what the hell’s happening to me.” On the last few words my voice caught in a sob and I covered my mouth suddenly with my hand.
Brandi stared at me for a moment before pulling my wrist down and gripping my fingers. “The first step is admitting it. At least now I know you’re flesh and bone.” She smiled gently. “And it’s okay to feel that way about him. If I thought I stood a chance I’d be all up on that myself, as you well know. But it’s with you he has that undeniable harmony; I felt it vibrating around you both all through the times we spent together. It had such energy and you can’t simply wish it away. Much as I long to find what you both have, I’m glad to be leaving tomorrow knowing I haven’t lost all my girlish weaknesses. I still get crushes, thank goodness. There’s still hope for my humanity.” She made a comic face and I couldn’t help choking out a laugh.
Then I sighed. “Maybe I’ll leave too. I’ve still got barely a week of vacation to spend but it wouldn’t be the same. Not without you and certainly not with Brian’s baffling absence.” I chewed on my bottom lip musingly. “I didn’t think it would be so easy for me to fall so hard. I didn’t even see it coming till it’s become like a taste in my mouth, coloring my senses. You were right; I can’t expect it to simply be wished away.”
“What about your engagement to Theo?” Brandi asked gently.
I hesitated, wondering how much I could confide in her without seeming like I’d been leaving too much to circumstances all this while. But then my gaze met Brandi’s and my mind told me that somehow, my friend would understand.
“You know the score, Brandi. Two influential families pushing their son and daughter together, bent on a marriage of convenience for all concerned. I’m ashamed to say I went with it so easily. I felt too satisfied with keeping the status quo. What was the point in rocking the boat, right? My life, all mapped out for me. But I know better now. Theo’s a great guy but he’s not for me. Now that I’ve discovered my capacity to feel something more, I’m going to give it life and find where it’ll take me. And that is far from getting stuck in an arrangement that’ll suit everyone else but me.”
Brandi applauded lightly, a pleased smile on her face. “Now that’s the Lydia I want to see come out,” was her warm response, and then her eyes misted over more than a little as she squeezed on my fingers. “I’ll miss you when I get back to London. I really will. Let’s not lose touch like before, okay?”
I nodded immediately, feeling teary myself. Then we burst out laughing happily, the sound carrying across over the moonlight-swept beach.