I slid myself down to the floor and took his cock between my lips. I needed to taste him, to feel him against the back of my throat. I needed him to invade me in all the ways he had over the past four years. I needed to feel that closeness with him again no matter what it took.

“Oh shit, Kylie. Holy fuck, yes.”

His hand tightened in my hair and he shoved me down his cock. I opened my throat to him, taking him as best as I could. He moved my head the way he wanted as my lips swelled around him. I planted my hands on his thighs, pinning his movements to the couch. I moaned around his girth, swallowed his droplets of precum down my throat. I hollowed out my cheeks and felt him shake against the couch as I curled my nails into his skin.

“Your mouth has always been—shit…so tight. Fuck.”

Spit dribbled from the sides of my mouth as his hand guided my head. His hips rose from the seat cushions despite my trying to pin him down. My eyes watered and I timed my breaths, moaning as he fucked my face. I fluttered my eyes up to him and watched as he lost himself in me, in my warmth, my mouth.

I loved it when his eyes rolled back.

“Not like this,” he said as his cock throbbed. “I want to feel you.”

He ripped me from his dick, pulling me back onto his lap as our lips crashed together.

I crawled up his body and straddled his pelvis while his fingertips moved my panties to the side. I sank down his girth as my teeth raked along his bottom lip, and I groaned at the sensation. I needed him. More than anything in the world, I needed to feel close to him again. I needed the way we used to be again. I needed our past to come back. I needed anything with Adam that didn’t involve our current circumstances.

I needed to be reminded of the man I loved.

My knees dug into the couch as his groans filled my ears. My face fell to the crook of his neck. Adam gripped my hips, moving my body the way he wanted as my toes curled. He sank deep into me, deep into the dripping caverns of my body. I shook against him and tightened around his cock. I slid my arms around his neck as my lips pressed kisses into his skin.

He smelled familiar and felt like home, and I forced myself to push everything else to the back of my mind.

I ground my hips into his. I bucked against him as he thrust up into me. The couch creaked with our movements and our sounds filled my small studio apartment. He ripped my blouse over my head and cupped my clothed breasts. He sucked on my lower lip, pulled my tits out to run his tongue over my engorged nipples. I threw my head back and sank him deeper into me, bending myself backward and feeling him rake against that beautiful spot we’d found not too long ago.

I shook against him, stopping as he continued his motions.

“That’s it. Come for me, Kylie. Drench my skin in you,” Adam said.

His thumb fell to my clit as he thrust into my body, holding me up by nothing but the tight waist of my pencil skirt.

My jaw unhinged in silent pleasure as my eyes rolled into the back of my head. Then he swiveled me around with his arm and my back fell against the couch. Adam slid on top of me, inching his cock into my pulsing pussy as I caressed his back. He pounded into me, moving the couch on its legs as he pressed his face into my tits. I raked my hands through his hair, felt his cock grow against me. My juices poured onto the couch below us, soaking the room in our scent.

“Adam. Oh shit. Fuck me harder. Go faster, please. Faster, Adam. Faster!”

He grunted into my neck, his hips stuttering with his movements. My legs locked and my toes curled, sending me into the only place where Adam and I seemed happy any longer. I gasped for air as my back arched, feeling Adam bury himself into me. His face moved around in my breasts and his cock sprayed my walls, coating me in him as our hips stilled. I jolted, quaked. I felt him lurch against me as my pussy milked his cock. The two of us collapsed onto the cushions, sweating and panting and petting each other while we stayed connected at the hips.

I couldn't move, couldn't speak. I couldn't think straight with the room spinning out of control.

“Oh, Kylie,” Adam said.

But his voice didn’t sound as happy as I thought it should have.

He gathered my voiceless body in his arms and carried me to bed. He stripped me down, helping me out of my skirt. I fell onto my pillow and watched him undress, removing the clothes I hadn’t bothered to remove myself. That was one thing we never did. We always took the time to undress each other before sex. It was intimate, purposeful. I always wanted to feel his skin against mine.

This was the first time neither of us had bothered with that notion.

He crawled into bed and slipped his arm around my waist. His lips fell to my shoulder, sending goose bumps shooting down my legs. I rolled over and smiled up at him, taking in how the shadows of my apartment played upon his beautiful face.

“I love you, Adam,” I said.

His lips fell to mine, holding them in a sweet kiss before pulling back.

“I love you, too, Kylie. I really and truly do.”

There was something in his voice I didn’t like, something in his eyes. He fell to my side and curled up next to me, holding me tighter than he ever had before. Like he was scared I’d leave if he let go of me, even for a second. I lay there with his head on my chest, stroking through his tangled hair. I stared up at the ceiling as his arousal dripped from between my legs, reminding me of our love-laced act that didn’t seem too love-laced the longer I lay there.

Something didn’t feel right.

And I didn’t like it.

I tried to sleep, but my mind kept me awake. There were so many things that needed to happen. Files from work needed to be sifted through and numbers needed to be crunched. I still had to book the moving company for Adam and myself and he still hadn’t talked to me about it. I kissed his forehead mindlessly as small snores fell from his lips. I stared up at the ceiling, hoping and praying that sleep would sweep me under.

But sleep never did come.

I got up and padded to the bathroom, resolving to shower. Things were drying in places that were uncomfortable, so maybe cleaning myself down below would help. I’d never had to clean myself after having sex with Adam. In fact, falling asleep coated in him had always helped to comfort me to sleep. Even if I woke up and he wasn’t there, it would smell like he was there.

My body relaxed the instant the hot water hit it. It washed him away from my skin, and I felt myself growing heavier by the second. I didn’t understand why my body was responding the way it was. Things had been so far beyond off that it was ridiculous. I lathered up and washed myself down, taking the time to condition my hair. Maybe all I needed was the hot water to slow down my mind a little bit. Maybe all I needed was some warmth to soothe my aching muscles after being weighed down for so long.

I leaned against the shower wall and let the conditioner settle in my hair, my eyes already growing heavy.

I dried myself off, braided my hair, and then crawled back into bed. Adam scooted toward me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close. He groaned and sighed, making himself comfortable as I draped my leg over his body. This time, it was my turn to put my head on his chest, and I listened to the steady rhythm of his heart as my eyes closed.

I needed to get some of this stress off my mind. I needed to get up and accomplish a few things in the morning. If I could unload some of the stress sitting on my shoulders, things would get better. Adam had always been intuitive. He was feeding off my anger. I was sure of it. In the morning, I’d make myself a strong pot of coffee, do a little bit of work from home, and nail down a moving company to book.

Once I had that damn hurdle jumped, things could get back to normal with Adam and me.