After taking Monday off to screw my head back on straight, I headed into work. Despite my want to speak with her, I had resisted the urge to call Kylie over the weekend, which meant I hadn’t seen her or spoken to her since our trite interaction Saturday morning. I wanted to talk to her more than I’d ever wanted anything, but I didn’t want to push or try her boundaries. She was so close, and after tasting what she had to offer, I didn’t want to take the chance that pursuing her would push her farther away instead of bringing her close.

I sat at my desk and mindlessly worked on paperwork. I had no idea what was going on between us, and the fact that I didn’t know made me frustrated. I wasn’t sure what Kylie wanted. One moment she wanted it to be dinner and nothing else. The next, we were sitting on my couch and she was breathlessly begging me to retract my promise. And the way her body had folded to me. The way her body had spilled over into mine. It was all I could think about all damn weekend. It was all I knew when I woke up from my dreams. It was all I wanted when I stepped into the shower and wrapped my hand around my cock and spilled her name from my lips.

All I did know was that I was really into her, and I didn’t want it to stop.

“Ryan?”

I whipped my head up from my desk at the sound of that beautiful voice.

“Could we talk?”

“Of course, Kylie. Come in. Have a seat.”

I leaned back in my chair as she shut the door behind her. I watched her walk forward, her hips swaying luxuriously. They beckoned to be fisted and commanded by me again as she paused beside the chair. She sat down and eased one leg over the other with the grace and confidence of a woman twice her age. Thrice her age. Just her presence left me breathless.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Adam came by my apartment Sunday.”

I nodded my head as my hand curled deeply into the leather arm of my office chair.

“Did something happen?” I asked.

“We argued,” Kylie said, “and it wasn’t pretty. I had to draw stark boundaries with him about when he could show up at my apartment. I told him he couldn’t simply pop up and wait for me like he had been.”

“He was waiting for you?”

“He said he’d been standing there for over an hour.”

The more I talked with Kylie about my son, the more unrecognizable he became.

“What did he say to you?” I asked.

“He asked me if I’d slept with you.”

“He outright asked you that?”

“Not in so many words at first. He asked what was going on with us and I told him I didn’t have an answer for him because I wasn’t sure of it myself.”

“I told him the same thing Saturday,” I said.

“But then he reiterated the fact that something was happening between us and I told him there was.”

My heart stopped in my chest. She had said that to him? That something was going on between us?

“He said that answer was more forward than what he had gotten from you. I didn’t get you into trouble with that answer, did I?”

Fucking hell. Her innocence that bled through throbbed the veins in my groin. Here she was talking to me about how my son had cornered her at her own damn apartment and she was concerned about me. How the hell my son could’ve ever fucked something up with a woman like her was beyond me.

“You didn’t get me into trouble, Kylie.”

“Okay. Good.”

“Did he ask you anything else?”

“He asked me if I had feelings for you. I told him I didn’t know,” she said. “Then he asked me if you were a rebound from him.”

“What did you say?”

“That I didn’t know. Then he asked me if you were a one-night stand.”

I nodded my head slowly as Kylie let out a deep breath.

“What was your response?” I asked.

“That I didn’t know,” she said. “Then he drew the assumption that the two of us had slept together. He started to unleash, and I yelled at him to get out of my place before things escalated further.”

I gritted my teeth as Kylie relaxed into the chair in front of me.

“The talk we had at my place Saturday morning was a similar, but with one big difference. He’s still trying to pin the demise of the two of you on other people. He’s still blaming the talk he and I had for the reason why he agreed to move in with you, thus blaming me for the breakup.”

“What did you tell him at that talk?” she asked.

“To communicate with you. That a woman of your caliber wouldn't compromise her future and that he owed it to you to communicate, even if that meant figuring out that your futures didn’t line up. But instead, what Adam drew from that was a need to give you what you wanted in order to abate communication further. Compromise on moving in so he didn’t have to have the ‘What about our futures?’ conversation with you and lose you. Because he knew he would.”

Tears percolated behind Kylie’s eyes, but I wasn’t going to lie to her. She’d had enough of that from my son, and I wouldn't hold anything back from her.

“What else?” she asked in a whisper.

“I told my son he effectively manipulated you.”

“He didn’t do that, Ryan.”

“Not intentionally, no. But time and time again, I recalled him telling me how you were his muse. And I put together a theory I’m pretty sure is correct.”

“What theory?” she asked.

“I told him that, judging by all the moves he’d made up until that point, he was upset you didn’t take the job with his production company because you were his creative inspiration. And he felt that without you at his side, he couldn't become creatively successful like he wants. Without you working for him—and working for me instead—it was some sort of personal metaphor for him about how his company would tank—without his inspiration, without his muse.”

“What did he say to that?”

“He didn’t say anything, merely denied it. And when I was done laying my proof out on the table that he’d strung you along and baited you with a future he had no intentions of fulfilling, he cussed at me and walked out. Which is what he has a tendency to do when someone else is right.”

“Don’t I know it,” she said flatly.

My eyes held her body as she switched her legs, uncrossing and crossing them again, giving me the slightest hint of her thigh to take in. I shifted in my chair as her gaze fell to the window, taking in the view over my shoulder while zoning out in my office.

I’d let her sit and think as long as she wanted.

“What do we do?” she asked.

“What do you want, Kylie?” I asked.

I wasn't in my twenties. I wasn’t immature. I wasn’t the type of man to run games on women any longer. This wasn’t about what I wanted. It was about what Kylie wanted, for her future, for her life. I cared about her, but not simply as a man cared for a woman. She was my friend, my employee, my coworker, and I cared about what happened in her life whether or not we were sleeping together.

When she shrugged instead of verbally responding, I asked again.

“What do you want, Kylie?” I asked.

“I don’t know, Ryan. I really…I…I don’t.”

“Do you still love Adam?”

“Of course I still do. We were together for four years. That doesn’t go away in the span of two weeks. I can’t just forget about that.”

“No one’s asking you to. But sifting through emotional states to get to the root of what someone wants takes asking some tough questions,” I said.

“So what’s your next question?”

Her eyes hooked on mine as she rested her elbows on the arms of her chair.

“How do you feel about me?” I asked.

Her eyes danced between mine for longer than I wanted before she drew in a deep breath.

“I’m not sure there either,” Kylie said. “Everything is so confusing right now, Ryan. The only thing I do know is that I still care for Adam and my heart hurts. The only thing I do know is that it boils my blood to see him right now, but it also hurts to know how much he’s hurting because of my actions.”

I understood that too.

“Sifting through everything requires an answer to both questions,” I said. “You know how you feel about Adam very well. When you know how you feel about me, we can continue our dive into what it is you really want.”

“I’m sorry, Ryan.”

“No need to apologize. I’m not upset. I’m pained that you’re struggling because I don’t like watching people I care about struggle.”

“You care about me?” she asked.

“Do you really have to ask that question? I’ve known you for four years. You’re my employee. We work next door to each other. You’re my right-hand woman in this place. I care about what you’re going through.”

Something passed in her stare, but it was too fleeting to catch. However, it turned her lips down a little bit, which gave me a little insight into where her mind was.

My answer, though honest, wasn’t what she had wanted to hear.

“I should get back to work,” Kylie said.

“Let me know if you need anything from me today. My office is always open if you need an ear to talk to,” I said.

Just as she disappeared into her office, Doug appeared in my doorway.

“Go away, Doug.”

“Not until you tell me what’s going on with you two,” he said.

“Go away, Doug.”

I heard the door shut and sighed as his footsteps approached my desk.

“No, really, something’s going on with you two. The secretive conversations, cornering her in her office, the lunch dates. Come on, spill to your best friend.”

“Go away, Doug,” I said flatly.

He slipped the paperwork I was working on from underneath my pen, and I sighed.

“Nothing’s going on between us,” I said.

“Then something’s already happened,” he said.

“Doug—”

“I’ve been your best friend for thirty years, Ryan. I know when something’s going on. You can’t hide this from me. Something’s happened between the two of you, and I want to know what.”

“It’s nothing. Really. You need to back off.”

“Not until you talk,” he said.

I leaned back in my chair and slid my fingers through my hair.

“We slept together Friday night,” I said.

“Oh hell yes.”

He held up his hand for a high five, but all I met him with was a glare.

“I’m not lowering this hand until you meet me in the middle.”

“I’m not high-fiving you. We’re not twelve and celebrating our first kisses.”

“But we are celebrating the first woman you’ve been with since that bitch ex-wife of yours. So high-five me. My arm’s starting to ache.”

“Nice to see that gym membership is paying off,” I said as I high-fived his hand.

“That’s the spirit. So, how was it?”

“No,” I said. “She’s your coworker.”

“Fine, fine. I figured that was pushing it. But really, it’s good you’re getting back out there.”

“If only it wasn’t with my son’s ex-girlfriend,” I said.

“Semantics,” he said. “You can’t help who you like. And I know you like Kylie. I see the way you look at her, the way you find all these excuses to walk into her office and talk with her.”

“She’s still my son’s ex, Doug.”

“Did you enjoy yourself Friday night?”

“I did.”

“Did she enjoy herself?”

I couldn’t bury the smirk creeping across my cheeks.

“You little devil you. Good for you, Ryan. It’s about damn time you wiped that ex of yours from your life completely. And hey, if it’s a one-off, at least it hasn’t affected your working relationship.”

But I didn’t want it to be a one-off.

“Oh hell. I know that look,” Doug said.

“Get out. I need to work.”

“You don’t want it to be a one-night stand.”

“I’m not talking about personal shit on professional time,” I said.

“Then I’m coming over with drinks tonight and we’re talking,” he said.

“Fine. Does that mean you’re going to let me get back to work?”

“I’ll even get back to work as well.”

“Good. Nice to know my money isn’t going to waste.”

“Technically, it’s our money. And I’m never a waste,” he said with a grin.

I threw my pen at him and he closed the door behind him just before it bounced off the door. I grinned and shook my head, snickering at my friend. He was a hell of a dog when he wanted to be, but he was a good man deep down. He’d been played one too many times in his life, but he treated those around him with respect—with little jabs here and there at their quirks. I spun around and took in the view of Portland from my office before my gaze wandered to the wall that separated Kylie and myself.

I knew Doug was right. Getting back out there was good. Being with someone other than my ex-wife was a good thing for me. And I knew I couldn’t help who I was attracted to. But I still didn’t know where things were headed with Kylie and me, which meant I was stuck in a rut until she could sift through her emotional disposition.

I hated being at the mercy of someone else.